Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissive men are a tabboo. Discuss


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissive men are a tabboo. Discuss Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissive me... - 5/3/2016 5:21:28 PM   
ParadoxicalMind


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/3/2016
Status: offline
As someone submissive who has grown up in a society where men are expected to act dominant, strong, unmoved, and are expected to hide their emotions and conceal their weaknesses, I'd argue that the very notion of a man submitting to a woman is a tabboo.

What do you think?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 5:26:36 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Do me subs whose idea of submitting involves doing anything designed to get their dick hard are unwanted.
Men who really want to submit in more areas than the bedroom, who listen to their partner and seek to please her instead of themselves, are in short supply.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to ParadoxicalMind)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 5:29:58 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
I think you're incorrect about it being socially acceptable for a woman to be submissive, at least in the US. Kirk Cameron just got himself into a shitstorm of trouble for urging women to be submissive to their husbands. Stay at home mothers and house wives tend to get looked down on.

While it might be more taboo in the eyes of society to be submissive and male, I think it is also impacted by HOW you are submissive. I know some men that are some of the best submssives I know....but the general public doesn't notice because they behave like men with manners.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 5/3/2016 5:31:04 PM >


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ParadoxicalMind)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 6:04:12 PM   
Quiette


Posts: 32
Joined: 2/7/2016
Status: offline
No one likes seeing either sex being manipulated into a position of submission. It all comes down to if they want it or not. If a girl comes home to rose petals, dinner for two, a foot rub, and mind-blowing oral just because her boyfriend wanted to be good to her, he is the best thing ever and people don't mind seeing that. But only if he wanted to do it. If she comes home to that because she told him earlier that he wouldn't get ANY sex for the rest of the year if he didn't, then suddenly the relationship has turned ugly.

No one likes seeing a "whipped" spouse, male or female. Consent is everything.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 6:06:39 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ParadoxicalMind

What do you think?

I think who gives a shit what other people think. Life your life as you see fit.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to ParadoxicalMind)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 6:32:26 PM   
MuscleBoundDom


Posts: 90
Joined: 9/24/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ParadoxicalMind

As someone submissive who has grown up in a society where men are expected to act dominant, strong, unmoved, and are expected to hide their emotions and conceal their weaknesses, I'd argue that the very notion of a man submitting to a woman is a tabboo.

What do you think?



I think submissive men have it tough in life. Many people view passivity and patience as weakness.

(in reply to ParadoxicalMind)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 6:35:22 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
yeah, everybody got it tough, be there or be square.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to MuscleBoundDom)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 7:16:03 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

I think submissive men have it tough in life. Many people view passivity and patience as weakness.

I suppose that could be a problem for those who are dim enough to equate submissiveness with passivity or patience.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to MuscleBoundDom)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 8:29:21 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

What do you think?

I think you are pretty much correct. There are even some members of kink sites that think such things as dominant women do not actually exist and who view submissive men as absolutely revolting.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to ParadoxicalMind)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 10:00:02 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef


quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

I think submissive men have it tough in life. Many people view passivity and patience as weakness.

I suppose that could be a problem for those who are dim enough to equate submissiveness with passivity or patience.


Exactly. The Muscle dude views being submissive as weakness and all submissives as passive. And apparently he views patience as a weakness too.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 10:11:05 PM   
MuscleBoundDom


Posts: 90
Joined: 9/24/2015
Status: offline
@OsideGirl

Read the comment right above you.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/3/2016 10:22:06 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

@OsideGirl

Read the comment right above you.


Her opinion doesn't change that your sentence was that you equate submissive with passive and patient and weakness.

First of all - submissive doesn't mean passive. I'm not passive. Many submissives are not passive. Male subs are rarely passive about getting what they want....even if the woman in question isn't interested. The fact that you lump being patient (which is a virtue) in with being passive says a lot. And if you think being submissive is being weak....I dare you to try it sometime.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MuscleBoundDom)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/4/2016 3:43:35 AM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline
he's not that only one that thinks like that, someone that pm's me regular has the same way of thinking I just told him off yesterday for thinking submissive women are passive and walking doormats basically, it frustrates me to no end. My persona is submissive that's how I am but there are times I use words to demonstrate frustration and the like. I'm an advocator here and part of that is getting into people's faces when it comes to human rights, mentally that's not my persona but sometimes I have to go outside my comfort zone to accomplish things or get a point across.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/4/2016 10:17:52 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ParadoxicalMind

As someone submissive who has grown up in a society where men are expected to act dominant, strong, unmoved, and are expected to hide their emotions and conceal their weaknesses, I'd argue that the very notion of a man submitting to a woman is a tabboo.

What do you think?
Consider that submissive men are gifted with the same advantage that dominant men possess. Testosterone. A hormone which increases size, aggression, risk-taking and competitive instincts. It is a hormone geared toward domination.

And yet, the submissive man undermines this advantage with a weak mind which is completely counter to his self-interest. Women don't respect submissive men, they regard them as pets whose masculinity they undermine or attempt to destroy. You only have to look at the - frankly hysterical - language of "Dommes" to realise the submissive man is simply a proxy for their own fear and hatred of men they cannot control.

Society is implicitly competitive, there's no getting around this. Men and women are in constant competition with their own gender for resources, mates and social power. Attractive women possess sexual power which is why you find very few attractive feminists. Feminism is a means by which women lacking sexual power attempt to gain social power by fostering a fictional morality narrative.

Similarly powerful men don't require ideology to help them gain what they want. This is why male feminists are invariably weak-minded betas who possess very little ability to attract women. Feminism - they believe - is their path to making themselves desirable to women.

So, no. Submissive men are not viewed positively and will never be viewed positively. Humanity's inherent psychology causes us to value those with advantageous genetic and character traits - and while it's perfectly possible for submissive men to be physically attractive, their inherent weakness turns women off in droves.



_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to ParadoxicalMind)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/4/2016 10:56:31 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
See what I mean?

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/4/2016 1:57:54 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ParadoxicalMind

As someone submissive who has grown up in a society where men are expected to act dominant, strong, unmoved, and are expected to hide their emotions and conceal their weaknesses, I'd argue that the very notion of a man submitting to a woman is a tabboo.

What do you think?

I don't think it's really a gender thing.

Time and time again, I often read posts from the other side of this thing. I can't tell you how many comments I've read over the years that "housewife" is a dirty word or how even in certain kinky social circles that, the *choice* to stay at home and take care of the male Dominant isn't seen with disdain.

There is darn near as much BS on the /s side of the slash for the genders. Anyone who doesn't know that isn't reading enough.

However, I'm not understanding the 'hide the emotions' bit. Just like any other category, /s men are not one size fits all. If the intent was to be stereotypical, "lowly worm" kind of mess, I really can't be bothered.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ParadoxicalMind)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/4/2016 2:44:05 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline
We can talk around this issue all we want but the American society is still male dominated. Things have changed and will continue to change slowly but as of now men are still expected to be…well… manly.

When a man acts contrary to this norm he leaves himself open for ridicule. People are more tolerant of submissive men as long as his submissiveness is done out of sight.

We all know the difference between politeness, chivalry and open submissiveness and when a man acts outside of expectations it makes many people uncomfortable.

It’s just the way it is and will be for the foreseeable future. Submissiveness is often hidden in the same way homosexuality is for the same reasons.

Butch


< Message edited by kdsub -- 5/4/2016 2:46:04 PM >


_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to ParadoxicalMind)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/5/2016 6:54:31 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Do me subs whose idea of submitting involves doing anything designed to get their dick hard are unwanted.
Men who really want to submit in more areas than the bedroom, who listen to their partner and seek to please her instead of themselves, are in short supply.


To that point above, the submissive is a partner who strives to understand and enhance the quality of life of their dominant.

It's socially acceptable to strive to be part of a team, where the one who follows the lead is no less important than the leader herself.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/5/2016 9:38:47 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Do me subs whose idea of submitting involves doing anything designed to get their dick hard are unwanted.
Men who really want to submit in more areas than the bedroom, who listen to their partner and seek to please her instead of themselves, are in short supply.


To that point above, the submissive is a partner who strives to understand and enhance the quality of life of their dominant.

It's socially acceptable to strive to be part of a team, where the one who follows the lead is no less important than the leader herself.

Like I said - I think it has a lot to do with HOW you show that submissiveness. In another thread a male sub gave examples of what he would do in public and it involved the putting innocent people in an embarrassing situation - and quite frankly, I've seen situations with female subs out in public that have made me cringe too.

But, if you're really talking about the dynamic and not kink - it would most likely just be an undercurrent to your interactions that most people won't see and if they do, they tend not to question it.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissiv... - 5/5/2016 9:40:13 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Do me subs whose idea of submitting involves doing anything designed to get their dick hard are unwanted.
Men who really want to submit in more areas than the bedroom, who listen to their partner and seek to please her instead of themselves, are in short supply.


To that point above, the submissive is a partner who strives to understand and enhance the quality of life of their dominant.

It's socially acceptable to strive to be part of a team, where the one who follows the lead is no less important than the leader herself.


As I said, I think has to do more with HOW you decide to be submissive in public.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Submissive women are socially acceptable. Submissive men are a tabboo. Discuss Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125