RE: Does BDSM require "sex?"

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[Poll]

Does BDSM require "sex?"

Yes

26% (19)

No

73% (54)

Total Votes : 73

(last vote on : 9/13/2023 10:27:47 AM)
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RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/19/2016 10:40:35 PM

verbatimguy

Posts: 203
Joined: 5/11/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Most BDSM has sexual elements or motivations... but it does not require the 'sex act'. In fact, for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism to be a paraphilia, it is has a sexual content.

Paraphilia (also known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation) is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, or individuals

Sadism is the sexual or social pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person.

Masochism, the counterpart of sadism, is the sexual pleasure or gratification of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure

I didn't mean intercourse when I wrote sex.
I meant the male or female sex.

I should have wroted "Does BDSM requires a sexual component" instead.
Which is a static sexual compnent for most of us.

My exmple would be that I would never want to ever lick a guy.
That would not be bdsm to me but just disgusting.

It would not mater WHAT the male wanted to do - it would ALL be disgusting.
For me BDSM is ONLY with WOMEN.

And I wondered if others had the same atitude that BDSM is always with teh same sex for them whatever that might be for them in the rest of their life.

< Message edited by verbatimguy -- 5/19/2016 10:41:44 PM >

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 21

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/19/2016 11:58:53 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

BDSM does not HAVE to have to be sexual in ANY way whether it is FM sex, FF sex, or MM sex, intercourse or licking or touching or anything else you can think of to try to complicate things and make this thread even longer.

BDSM is not foreplay for some. BDSM is foreplay for some. For others it is BDSM, not sex, plain and simple. I have done scenes with people with NO sex, including licking and touching of genitals, or anything else you can think of as sexual. So far my partners have always been men, however, I would love to find a dominant, female or male, that is experienced with needles.

I am sure some have the same attitude as you do about BDSM always being with the same sex. Some do not.

In other words, we all do BDSM our own ways. There are no MUST do this, MUSTN'T do that.

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(in reply to verbatimguy)

Post #: 22

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 3:39:25 AM

LilJuly76

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
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I tried to explain it to him in PM every time he leaves a message but he doesn't get, he has no idea what a BDSM scene is and he seems to be able not to get the wording right distinguishing what is intercourse and what are males and females. no wonder this thread is long, we try to explain and he doesn't get it.

I tried to tell him in small words going into subapace during and S & M scene is ten times better than intercourse can ever be, I have no worries, I have no thoughts, I have don't have to think about work or my family during that time, I'm stress free and as the song goes I'm set adrift on memory bliss. How do I keep explaining to him when he doesn't get it?

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 23

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 3:49:46 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

Lil July. Give up. Dont answer him.
Just delete his messages, block him......its your mailbox, and you dont have to respond.
He isnt worth getting upset by it.
You are not the idiot whisperer.
Plus it just encourages him.

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(in reply to LilJuly76)

Post #: 24

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 3:54:07 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Snitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

"BDSM" by definition of the letters does NOT necessarilly require sex to be involved.

What a naive question!

If that's so, then people who do BDSM would do it equally as much with men and women and transsexuals alike.

Yup and from my experience they often do.

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(in reply to Snitch)

Post #: 25

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 3:54:26 AM

MsRising

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/27/2010
Status: offline

BDSM does not require a sexual component at all........if you actually practice it for the sake of BDSM...sex is sex and totally different and yes we can all tell that you are either new or trying to justify sexual intercourse or activities with women who do not wish to participate. I practice non sexual BDSM the most.......because that is what I require of slaves.......I've had very loyal slaves which is why I do not practice unless professionally with those who only see a sexual side...at which point I charge them excessively or deny them a service. I'm a top.....not a bottom so I don't often like to be told what to do or how to do it. Those thinking sex is a requirement of BDSM are usually the ones who get scammed the most....and have the most difficult time making a real connection....even with a woman for kinky sex.....because she is in demand...and random dudes looking for lazy sex.....as is the case when they want a woman to dominate.....is just exist in abundance making the average male here not desirable.
So.....you may choose to practice how you want but understand that how you practice will determine the type of people you meet and generally from my experience those wanting just sex....usually have to pay for it.....one way or the other.....so ....expect to get more scammers if you only choose to find partners bases on your sexual parameters.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

Post #: 26

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 3:56:47 AM

MsRising

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/27/2010
Status: offline

And as a real participant....I deal with men...women....trans......and the like....I mean....why not......Im not practicing for dick. I'm attractive...if I wanted dick...I could just be a sex worker and make money selling it....I mean....why not. Why give it away for free to random people just for the experience....that there is a hoe.....while the other to me is more respectable as she at least earns a living......over just being used like a little hoe....but if a hoe is what one wants to be....be that......but try not to then excuse being a hoe with practicing BDSM. BDSM often requires restraint a hoe does not have.

(in reply to MsRising)

Post #: 27

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 4:10:07 AM

closetoyou

Posts: 32
Joined: 4/30/2016
Status: offline

you stupid cunt of course it does, carry on masturbating yourself, you idiot.

(in reply to verbatimguy)

Post #: 28

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 4:14:43 AM

LilJuly76

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

you are right it's like hitting my head against a brick wall, today was my last attempt, I wake up tomorrow I won't even reply to any of the messages.

thank you Lucylastic.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

Post #: 29

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 4:15:04 AM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76
I tried to explain it to him in PM every time he leaves a message but he doesn't get...

As Lucy said - ignore him.
And if he is being persistent - block him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76
.... he has no idea what a BDSM scene is and he seems to be able not to get the wording right distinguishing what is intercourse and what are males and females. no wonder this thread is long, we try to explain and he doesn't get it.

There are some on these forums that are like this.
They are soo stuck in their own bubble that they just can't see anything else.
They constantly try to justify their own existance in their bubble to the exclusion of all else.
You can't reason with them at all - they are completely blind to everything.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76
... How do I keep explaining to him when he doesn't get it?

You can't - because they don't see reason.
They are soo totally entrenched within their bubble they can't see or comprehend anything else.
What's worse is they think their world is the normal thing.

There's a small handful on here that are like this and there's just no way to get through to them.

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(in reply to LilJuly76)

Post #: 30

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 4:18:34 AM

LilJuly76

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

we must have been posting at the same time. That is true freedomdwarf, there is no use trying to explain BDSM to people that don't understand. Which as always brings up the question in my head that none of them seem to be able to answer. What do they think the acronym BDSM stands for? I ask that to all the ones that don't get it and none of them know the answer what the initials actually stand for.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 31

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 4:25:31 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

you are right it's like hitting my head against a brick wall, today was my last attempt, I wake up tomorrow I won't even reply to any of the messages.

thank you Lucylastic.

My pleasure.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LilJuly76)

Post #: 32

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 1:15:01 PM

verbatimguy

Posts: 203
Joined: 5/11/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsRising

BDSM does not require a sexual component at all........if you actually practice it for the sake of BDSM...sex is sex and totally different and yes we can all tell that you are either new or trying to justify sexual intercourse or activities with women who do not wish to participate. I practice non sexual BDSM the most.......because that is what I require of slaves.......I've had very loyal slaves which is why I do not practice unless professionally with those who only see a sexual side...at which point I charge them excessively or deny them a service. I'm a top.....not a bottom so I don't often like to be told what to do or how to do it. Those thinking sex is a requirement of BDSM are usually the ones who get scammed the most....and have the most difficult time making a real connection....even with a woman for kinky sex.....because she is in demand...and random dudes looking for lazy sex.....as is the case when they want a woman to dominate.....is just exist in abundance making the average male here not desirable.
So.....you may choose to practice how you want but understand that how you practice will determine the type of people you meet and generally from my experience those wanting just sex....usually have to pay for it.....one way or the other.....so ....expect to get more scammers if you only choose to find partners bases on your sexual parameters.

If there is no sexual compinent then it is strange that people mostly almost totally completely seems to be almost everyone looks for one or the other gender. Must have something to do with gender for most people. Difinitely has eveything to do with gender for me.

SOme peole are both genders but highest proporttion is people who specifyt gender.
So must be mostly gender related to BDSM.

Otherwise why do people specify gender preference?

You don't specificy gender preference for your boss or cow worker but for BDSM tyou specify geneder preference.
So to say it has nothing to do with gender can never be correct. But maybe for some people but always the very smallest minority.

The largest majority has difinite gender preference so it must have a LOT of things to do with sex.

(in reply to MsRising)

Post #: 33

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 1:30:00 PM

LilJuly76

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

I'm choosing not to explain anything in PM to you but you know what you keep screwing things up dude

you didn't believe me when I told you that BDSM doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex so you keep reposing the question to get the answer you want and then you go back and say you meant gender preference. Guess what you didn't ask about gender preference you asked about sex, you need to be precise in what you are asking or you're going to come back and call of us women names because you don't like the answers you get. Maybe we're translating wrong, maybe English isn't your first language, but if you say one thing and pretend to mean another thing no wonder people are going to get pissed of and that's including me and I try not to get pissed off at people.

(in reply to verbatimguy)

Post #: 34

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 1:45:29 PM

MsTanner

Posts: 134
Status: offline

I doubt it's your teaching abilities, more so some are just obtuse...

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(in reply to LilJuly76)

Post #: 35

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 1:47:46 PM

slavelyn95008

Posts: 11
Joined: 5/7/2012
Status: offline

I only do my kink with one gender so yes.

(in reply to MsTanner)

Post #: 36

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 1:51:05 PM

LilJuly76

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

tending to agree, however cause I was getting agitated with this individual I typed so dang fast I broke a nail on my keyboard and spelled one of the words wrong in my last post ug.

(in reply to MsTanner)

Post #: 37

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/20/2016 7:34:57 PM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline

Boring troll is boring.

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(in reply to LilJuly76)

Post #: 38

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/21/2016 7:46:40 AM

debydeb

Posts: 93
Joined: 7/12/2012
Status: offline

bdsm does not require sex, sure some use it as foreplay but its not a requirement

(in reply to verbatimguy)

Post #: 39

RE: Does BDSM require "sex?" - 5/21/2016 8:44:30 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: verbatimguy

The largest majority has difinite gender preference so it must have a LOT of things to do with sex.

Apparently it has to do with sex for those people.

I don't have gender requirements when it comes to BDSM play, just like a lot of other people whom I know and play with don't have gender requirements when it comes to BDSM play.

As such, sex is not a requirement for BDSM, because not all people require there to be a sexual component to their play.

For some people sex is a requirement for BDSM, but not for all people, and thus, it's not a requirement for BDSM overall.

_____________________________

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You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to verbatimguy)

Post #: 40

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