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RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 5:25:19 AM   
wandering4u


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		Personally, I think Dauric's idea is the best. A sub asking to be collared is a bit beyond what she should do, but Dauric's idea nicely skirts that issue.

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 6:03:26 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Oh it's perfectly fine for a sub to ask for a collar. Ask, beg, and plead all you want. As your knees scrap red, beg some more. One day, you'll be blind folded. You'll be asked to extend your hand.Then, you'll feel a short leather strap slide accross your hand ending with a cold buckle. Instead of taking it, you'll be told to stay still and feel a pop on you hands. You'll then feel it glide around your neck but not snap in place. Instead you'll feel it come off, and then a pop to the face. After that little tease, the blind fold will come off. Low and behold it's the collar you've been craving for. However, it's held high where your short self cannot reach it. After you jump around and begin to beg, you'll need to figure out what service to give to finally have what says you are owned. Just remember that it might take more than a few days but be not distraught. After all, the collar is now your Doms hands.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 6:05:25 AM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		Fangs.. I kneel in awe.. LOL

great visual!

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 6:07:08 AM   
slavetrainerny


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/2/2004
Status: offline 		shouldn't it depend on how long you're into the relationship?

(in reply to JessieMe)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 9:54:43 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotprofessor
I have been in  relationship with a DOM for over 8 months now and I feel very comfortable with us.  I would love to be "collared" and am wondering if a sumissive should ask to be collared?  Is it up to the DOM to make the first move or should I tell him that I want to be his "collared" submissive?


Normaly I make it quite clear when I feel the situation is right for the relationship to move into full ownership. I will check ONCE if they feel it is there too, if the answer is yes then we can progress to the collar. If the answer is not sure or not yet then they are told they are to raise the matter next, I will not. If it is left too long then the situation may well change (I only have limited patience once I reach that stage, if we are not hitting the same stage within a few weeks of each other as to being ready to move to ownership it is usualy a sign of incompatability... or 'game playing', which would make her incompatable anyhow)

If the girl reached that point before I did then I would have no problem with her raising the question.... equaly though, if I found myself with the 'not yet' feeling for more than a few weeks I'd be wondering what was wrong, what was holding me back (Usualy my intution talling me something wasn't quite cosher!).


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 12:47:46 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It is not uncommon for subs/slaves to petition the Dom/Master. This article may be of some help:
http://www.leathernroses.com/eso/esopetitions.htm

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 12:49:54 PM   
SirDaniel


Posts: 93
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
Yes, asking the Dom puts him or her on the spot.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I'm not sure that it puts the dom right on the spot, it simply opens up the conversation.
Secondly, any person can handle being on the spot just fine- if they can't handle something that simple, they probably aren't ready for a long term commitment at all.


I have to agree with you on this one. Sort of like a stand up comic that can not handle a heckler. Not ready for the big questions.


_____________________________

Sir Daniel
Las Vegas (Sin City), NV

http://members.cox.net/sirdaniel

quote:

Be true, honest, caring and loving,
and you will be found.
It is true, be you Master or slave.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 3:56:01 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		COMPUTER GLITCH?  Yeah, the glitch was...you forgot which name you were signed into, posted a comment, and then didn't realize the mistake you made until after it was too late to go back and edit.

Right.  Computer glitch.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotprofessor

Actually I didn't as I didn't  know who  1fundom was .  I am not sure if it was a computer glitch or what...still a puzzle to me how that happend.

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 6:57:59 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Lots of good answers here.
To this Dom, if my sub wanted to move on in the relationship to Collared slave I think it would be perfectly allright for her to approach me with this.
It would of course require a discussion on both our parts and we should each know what we're getting into.
To me anyway, Colloring IS a lifetime committment. Just like a marriage.
She would be evolving into a lifestyle where there are no more "mutual limits" but my limits alone in anything I want to do with her.
I don't think that it's so important in "who" starts that conversation but more in that it take place.
I don't think that Collaring is something to be taken lightly by either party.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 7:32:55 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotprofessor
I have been in  relationship with a DOM for over 8 months now and I feel very comfortable with us.  I would love to be "collared" and am wondering if a sumissive should ask to be collared?  Is it up to the DOM to make the first move or should I tell him that I want to be his "collared" submissive?


I have been with Sir for almost five years.  Our relationship has gone through many stages, cleared many hurdles, but been more good than not.  For the last 2 or so years, we have had basically an m/s dynamic.

However, he only gave me his collar, and called me by the term "property", called me "slave" a month ago.

Though Sir and I have had many conversations about the nature of ownership, and what would be required of one whom he owned - it would have been completely inappropriate for me to ask for his collar, or to tell him "shit or get off the pot".  Did I let him know that I desired it?  Absolutely.  But actually tell him it's time?  Nope.

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 8:02:03 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Imp, you did it well!

As for a Collar I'd find one that looked like a piece of jewelry made of medal but that would have to be welded or saudered on so that it was around her neck permanently so that she couldn't  take it off.
I like leather Collars as well with metal on them for an accessary.
Also, I would want her pussy pierced with a gold ring in just above the clit.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/22/2006 11:50:18 PM   
hispossession


Posts: 161
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		Master and I have talked about my being collared to him... he knows that is what I desire and he has made mention of thinking about what the collar he is going to design and make for me will look like...

as far as a set time to wait for being collared I see that most here agree there isn't one.  I feel in my heart that one day I will wear his collar and wear it poudly but it will not make me any more his... I'm completely his already... *grins* I guess it's like being common law married... there's no paper or rings or party... but it doesn't change the commitment... (can you tell I just got back from a wedding?!?!)


_____________________________

I do not want to be the leader...
Anais Nin

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 12:00:57 AM   
slavejlb


Posts: 446
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		i will be honest: I come from a gorean train background, and the way i was taught yes a slave begs for her Master collar. she is presented to him nude, with her wrist cross and sometimes bound, she hair is lifted from her neck so that she is able to recive it, now mind you at times this is done with alittle encourgment. but a slave does beg.
take care and be safe
slave jlb

(in reply to hispossession)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 7:21:01 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250
As for a Collar I'd find one that looked like a piece of jewelry made of medal but that would have to be welded or saudered on so that it was around her neck permanently so that she couldn't  take it off.


My "special" collar is a silver link necklace with a jewelry lock as the clasp.  I can, and do, remove it myself.  It's a symbol, not actual bondage.

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 9:05:16 AM   
Nosathro


Posts: 3319
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
Status: offline 		Hello, Tal and greetings
 
I have to start reading the non Gorean Boards more often.  From my point of view and being Gorean.  The idea of a Free Man having to either accept submission or kill is more of an on line role play thing.  I confess I thought it was from the books but I was wrong. 
 
For me, if someone comes to me to want me to collar them, I do not take asking, begging is the only acceptable way.  Secondly, for me collars are not made with velcro, I make my own and they have locks on them.  I view submission as more intense than marriage.  So I get to know the person and we get an understand of what this means.  Lastly, there are many very beautiful collaring cermonies and I perfer to make the collaring formlar.  Unless capture is absolutly wanted.
 
I wish you well
 
Nosathro

_____________________________

"The love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave." Magicians of Gor, page 31

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 9:27:26 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nosathro
Lastly, there are many very beautiful collaring cermonies and I perfer to make the collaring formlar.  Unless capture is absolutly wanted.


Ours was "formal", in that he sat me down and told me it was time and had me open the box, then put the collar on me.

But it was just us, no ceremony, no ritual.  That's how we like it.

(in reply to Nosathro)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 10:36:13 AM   
Dauric


Posts: 254
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandering4u

Personally, I think Dauric's idea is the best. A sub asking to be collared is a bit beyond what she should do, but Dauric's idea nicely skirts that issue.


Well.... I wouldn't say it skirts the issue...

The real issue isn't that of wether or not the slave is asking to be collared, the real issue is one of stagnation. BDSM brings up growth and change far more than the vanilla world does, so it's an important factor in the relationship.

Some posts in this thread have suggested that the slave/submissive does not have the right to even bring that up. I have to strongly disagree with this point of view. The civilized world does not live with a slave trade, and BDSM isn't a way to bring back some power-trip fantasy of ancient eras or third-world attitudes with first-world indoor plumbing. 21st century slaves -choose- to be slaves, and they -choose- who to be slaves to. Any suggestion that they do not completely misses the point of a BDSM relationship (and could get themselves in a bucketload of trouble with the police).

Submissives need to make choices about their lives just like everyone else. By saying a submissive has no right to ask questions the dominant may actually -loose- power over their submissive. If the sub is dissatisfied by some aspect of their relationship, and they can't bring the subject up, the dom may inadvertantly force them to leave for having no other options.

                                                            --An absolute monarch of a rubble-heap.

Personally I'd rather they bring their issues, respectfully, to me. Resolving the problem involves everyone, and I have a say (read: 'power') in their decision making process.

But that's just my $0.02.

Dauric

(in reply to wandering4u)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 11:05:22 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		I suppose that there's no time-line per se as to Collaring but I'd want to wait a year or so myself before crossing that bridge so that we both knew each other.
And after Collaring I'd want to take a short trip, like a "honeymoon" I guess for a long weekend or so.
To me Collaring is PERMANENT.
I will own that slave for the rest of my life.

(in reply to Dauric)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 11:09:05 AM   
Dauric


Posts: 254
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline 		I'm sure though that you make that clear long before the collaring.
Catholics treat marriage as permanent too.

Edit:

Just to be clear, I don't look for temporary relationships, and I'm not a "Velcro-collar" guy. There have been comments about the "Unmasked Nature" of the D/s relationship, and I want to make sure long before I choose to take someone for the rest of my/their lives I want to know that they've 'unmasked' everything there is to unmask. I do not want false smiles and incincere words. If we are not right to be together then I want to know that, and we can part as friends.

But again, that's jst my own $0.02.

Dauric.

< Message edited by Dauric -- 7/23/2006 11:20:42 AM >

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 11:42:30 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dauric

I'm sure though that you make that clear long before the collaring.
Catholics treat marriage as permanent too.

Edit:

Just to be clear, I don't look for temporary relationships, and I'm not a "Velcro-collar" guy. There have been comments about the "Unmasked Nature" of the D/s relationship, and I want to make sure long before I choose to take someone for the rest of my/their lives I want to know that they've 'unmasked' everything there is to unmask. I do not want false smiles and incincere words. If we are not right to be together then I want to know that, and we can part as friends.

But again, that's jst my own $0.02.

Dauric.


That makes sense, rushing never works.

(in reply to Dauric)
Profile   Post #: 60
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