RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 7:43:41 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Things aren't begged from me,they are earned.

OK. Mine had to be earned as well, but I still had to ask for it and work for it. That's kinda the part of my post where I said it was not granted at first - - I was not ready for it, aka, I had not yet earned the right to wear it.

(in reply to Caretakr)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 7:51:35 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dauric

Just to be clear, I don't look for temporary relationships, and I'm not a "Velcro-collar" guy. There have been comments about the "Unmasked Nature" of the D/s relationship, and I want to make sure long before I choose to take someone for the rest of my/their lives I want to know that they've 'unmasked' everything there is to unmask. I do not want false smiles and incincere words. If we are not right to be together then I want to know that, and we can part as friends.
Dauric.

This was important to Master, also. Everything known was revealed. I was taught from the beginning, do not tell him what I think he wants to hear - tell him the honest truth even if he doesn't like it. It is the only way to know what needs fixing, and to fix it. It is also a way for him to know if a particular girl is someone he wants to keep.

(in reply to Dauric)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 10:10:43 PM

Dauric

Posts: 254
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

This was important to Master, also. Everything known was revealed. I was taught from the beginning, do not tell him what I think he wants to hear - tell him the honest truth even if he doesn't like it. It is the only way to know what needs fixing, and to fix it. It is also a way for him to know if a particular girl is someone he wants to keep.

Good to know I'm not alone in that opinion.

$0.02
Dauric.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/23/2006 10:23:58 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I suspect you are far from alone in that opinion.

(in reply to Dauric)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/24/2006 4:21:54 AM

wandering4u

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

Definitely not alone

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/24/2006 3:36:16 PM

slavejlb

Posts: 446
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Greeting to you Sir
and yes we are, good in many ways. For when we are good we are very very good. but then we are bad, sometimes very very bad we are good there too
be safe and well
slave jlb

(in reply to Estring)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/24/2006 4:46:35 PM

Zenar

Posts: 39
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

Didnt you already know it is the submisives sole responcibility to learn telepathy and automaticly know what it is that we dominants want? Ok, I am teasing here but so many submisives think we dominants can read their minds it is only fair to turn it around.

Like every one else has said, it is up to individual preference, some want to ask, others want to be asked, or even to be begged. Once again it is about open communication, it is some thing that can be discussed between two people, and perhaps even a discussion that can be enjoyed.

(in reply to Estring)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/25/2006 9:48:54 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

As for the "earned" part I would think that the sub who is under consideration to be Collared would do most of that in obeying "Sir" in her apprenticeship as an obedient submissive.

(in reply to Zenar)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/25/2006 10:07:31 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulftooth

Don't know about BDSM, but on Gor you can do a submission where a Master must either collar you or kill you. On Urth it is more like collar you or let you go and have nothing more to do with you making you dead in essence to them.

To put in prspective and according to most cases in the Gor Books, a Free Man will forcably collar a girl and then haul her off to be branded. From the slave blocks girls will beg to be collared..

However that is fiction. the reality is that we live on Earth and are Earth men and women. On rare occasios I have seen a Free Man (Goreak Lifstyles) indicate to a girl that he wishes to coller her. It has been my experience that the two meet as anyone meets other people and initially the girl is probably more likely to be drawn into his presence and wantto stay there. In some period she knows by his attitude or comments that he is interested in her and it is then she may well kneel and beg his collar. By doing so she is submitting to him..

From a personal point of view, I expect a girl to beg, nakid on her knees for either HIB or later my Personal Collars. It is that time I will lock steel about her neck.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Wulftooth)

Profile

Post #: 69

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 7/27/2006 3:09:09 AM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

"HI Everyone:

I have been in relationship with a DOM for over 8 months now and I feel very comfortable with us. I would love to be "collared" and am wondering if a sumissive should ask to be collared? Is it up to the DOM to make the first move or should I tell him that I want to be his "collared" submissive?

Thanks ahead of time for any help in this.

Hotprofessor "

The person in control calls the shots. If you are in control ask to be collared. Heh see what it gets ya ;-)

Eh just a random thought.

D (owner of j).

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to Hotprofessor)

Profile

Post #: 70

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/6/2007 1:32:38 AM

slavetrainerny

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavetrainerny

shouldn't it depend on how long you're into the relationship?

(in reply to slavetrainerny)

Profile

Post #: 71

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/6/2007 5:25:36 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

when Sir was courting me (and i say courting because he had to convince me to be his....) we discussed collaring. he said that he would, in time. he gave me a bracelet with his name for me engraved on it after we had been together a little over a month and a half...to reassure me and let me know i am his. (we're long distance.)

the leather collar he gifted me is too rough, so i cannot wear it as much as i want...so for my birthday he bought me a stainless steel cable necklace and an engraved heart that i can wear all the time.

collaring is a personal thing. he and i both knew it was wanted, but that it would come in HIS time and not before.

kitten

(in reply to slavetrainerny)

Profile

Post #: 72

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/6/2007 5:27:38 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavetrainerny

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavetrainerny

shouldn't it depend on how long you're into the relationship?

Considering this thread is more than a year old, I suspect she already figured it out by now.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to slavetrainerny)

Profile

Post #: 73

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/6/2007 9:35:18 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Thank you, Tess, for seeing this. I completely overlooked the problem with the signature. Hotprofessor sadly, deleted his profile so i couldn't look it over and compare his profile with 1fundom. I do dislike when i miss such simple items.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Profile

Post #: 74

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/6/2007 11:45:50 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

on Gor you can do a submission where a Master must either collar you or kill you.

Wow. That sounds like an intense way to live.

I'd have run out of space under the stairs long ago.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to KatyLied)

Profile

Post #: 75

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/6/2007 2:57:11 PM

OnlyHis

Posts: 137
Joined: 2/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

quote:

You really do have a very ego-centric habit of projecting your personal world into that of others.

What a comical response! You do exactly that, and then you call LA on it when she doesn't see it the same way you do.
LA actually contributed a far more balanced view of the situation than you did. I'd suggest you try to open your mind to a broader view of the world instead of knocking hers.

I agree hp. LA always gives insightful answers. Might not always be what we want to hear but she usually makes us think. :) There are a few others in CM that do so too. I respect their opinions, and advice.

(in reply to happypervert)

Profile

Post #: 76

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/6/2007 2:57:19 PM

Babybass

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline

i know this is the 'Ask a Master' thread - but i seem to spend a lot of my time on CM in here anyway so i thought i would offer my opinion! In any relationship, commitment must be discussed - in a Vanilla relationship both parties discuss what they want from the future and a D/s relationship - or any other should be no different. Both of you should know after 8 months what the other is thinking in terms of the future. Having said that i do believe that a sub should not ask to be collared. It is up to the Dom to decide when and if this happens. But if it is a relationship where everything has been discussed then you both should know that it is something you are both interested in or not.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Profile

Post #: 77

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/6/2007 3:12:11 PM

TheChastiser

Posts: 95
Joined: 10/16/2005
From: Hemel Hempstead
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotprofessor

HI Everyone:

I have been in relationship with a DOM for over 8 months now and I feel very comfortable with us. I would love to be "collared" and am wondering if a sumissive should ask to be collared? Is it up to the DOM to make the first move or should I tell him that I want to be his "collared" submissive?

Thanks ahead of time for any help in this.

Hotprofessor

for me, the dominant should know when the time is right to collar someone. this can only come with knowlege of a posession, which discounts all these temporary and consideration collars, which mean very little really.

Mike

_____________________________

Let Me unchain your mind and your sexuality will follow.

(in reply to Hotprofessor)

Profile

Post #: 78

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/6/2007 9:11:43 PM

Darkhaven80

Posts: 76
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline

Hmm this is iffy. I always had a preconcieved notion that the dom would suddenly surprise the joyful subbie with an announcement that he's intending for her to wear his collar, that he now feels this special bond, yada yada. Keep in mind this is coming from a woman who hinted at marriage proposals before the guy did the deed. Thank God none of the marriages happened (the impatience and naivity of youth

) Before I ramble more, you get the point. I think some doms would get a little irritated because they're thinking it's all their decision, some would welcome discussion about it and eagerly jump on the living room's therapy couch with you. I'm sure you know who you're with enough to know how he'd react if you brought it up. Personally I would bite my tongue unless it looked like it would never happen and I started to feel antsy about him not being serious about me. Then again I've never placed as much importance on collars as most people in this lifestyle.

Maybe you should just ignore this post altogether and save yourself the cost of an aspirin

(in reply to Hotprofessor)

Profile

Post #: 79

RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/6/2007 10:13:54 PM

Kirata

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
Considering this thread is more than a year old, I suspect she already figured it out by now.

True enough. But now that it's back in the limelight, people will be reading it. And there are some points that need clearing up. Working backwards....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nosathro
The idea of a Free Man having to either accept submission or kill is more of an on line role play thing. I confess I thought it was from the books but I was wrong.

You're still wrong. It is in the books.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulftooth
Don't know about BDSM, but on Gor you can do a submission where a Master must either collar you or kill you. On Urth it is more like collar you or let you go and have nothing more to do with you making you dead in essence to them.

As best I can recall offhand, in the books it applied to a Free Woman who begged enslavement from a member of the Warrior Caste in the great cities of Northern Gor like Ar or Ko-ro-ba. I am not familiar with how things are done on the planet "Urth", but here on this planet such fictions are neither practiced by Goreans nor, in my experience, are girls whose pleadings have been denied subsequently shunned as if "dead".

IWYW,

Kirata

< Message edited by Kirata -- 8/6/2007 10:26:18 PM >

(in reply to Stephann)

Profile

Post #: 80