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RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/7/2007 11:56:00 AM   
RaynaSub


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		I did not ask my Master to be collared.
I was very good about dropping "hints", though.
Pictures of collars starting appearing, as well as articles on collaring, even
discussions on how much a collar would mean to me.
I have a smart Master.

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 8/12/2007 5:41:58 PM   
theq


Posts: 85
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotprofessor
I have been in relationship with a DOM for over 8 months now and I feel very comfortable with us. I would love to be "collared" and am wondering if a sumissive should ask to be collared? Is it up to the DOM to make the first move or should I tell him that I want to be his "collared" submissive?


I'm replying to this as my personal thoughts on the matter.

No, I would not like a girl near to me to ask for a collar (be it Consideration, Training, or Formal). That's just me...seems to forward. I'm a bit old fashioned in that way I suppose. I'll go as far as saying it may turn me off. Perhaps a better question to ask your Dominant is (again, in my book)...where are we heading in our relationship?


Standard disclaimer attached to such replies: Mileage and performance of other Dominants may vary.

Q

Edited to add: I would be interested in knowing the girls feelings about being collared by me...I always want her to be open with her feelings. Asking for it...kind of presses me the wrong way. Then again, I'd not like to be proposed to for marriage either.

< Message edited by theq -- 8/12/2007 5:48:09 PM >

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 3/30/2008 8:21:35 AM   
Subbieonly


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/25/2008
Status: offline 		I believe it depends on the relationship. I don't think there is any right or wrong protocol.  Also, how comfortable does He feel being asked this?

(in reply to wandering4u)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 3/30/2008 10:07:36 AM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulftooth

Don't know about BDSM, but on Gor you can do a submission where a Master must either collar you or kill you.  On Urth it is more like collar you or let you go and have nothing more to do with you making you dead in essence to them.


And all this time I thought I was not into Gor..........

(in reply to Wulftooth)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 3/30/2008 10:10:00 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Subbieonly

I believe it depends on the relationship. I don't think there is any right or wrong protocol.  Also, how comfortable does He feel being asked this?


After two years, this has more than likely been resolved, dontcha think?

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Subbieonly)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 3/30/2008 2:04:12 PM   
Drummerpunk7


Posts: 46
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Yes it is innapropriate to ask.

The Dminant should do so, if they feel the sub is worthy.


Who are you to say what is appropriate or not?

In my experiences most subbies beg their collar.

Submission is something that is given, not taken or demanded. A dom can't just walk up to someone and collar them. Gor isn't real in this respect. It has to be consensual. Now if the sub didn't want to make it look like they were EXPECTING a collar, then they could be sneaky and plant the idea in their doms mind, and thus it would appear to be his decision.

I do not demand becky's submission, but I do demand obedience. Her submission is given to me willingly, and I cherish it. While she does not wear a physical collar yet, nor have we had any collaring ceremony or w/e, if she begs a collar frmo me, I will gladly find one suiting for her, and will be proud that she wears it to honor our bond.

At any rate, you have no right to tell others what is appropriate, nor do I. To each his/her own. If a sub wants to beg collar, more power to em, and I wish them well.


EDIT: omg terrible thread necromancy right here. I didn't even notice.

< Message edited by Drummerpunk7 -- 3/30/2008 2:05:35 PM >

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 4/13/2008 8:21:49 PM   
randsboy


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Olympia WA
Status: offline 		i first met my Master online. i asked for a collar and received what He called a temporary collar. after 4 years i was presented with my first official collar from Him. 6 years got me a large leather dog collar and about 8 1/2 years i finally acheived the collar i really wanter, a lock and chain. By asking for a collar after so short a time could land you out the door on your derrier or you could be asking for more than you are really prepared to handle. Be careful what you ask for and when. Your Master/Mistress will know when you are ready to be collared. Then you will know that you have acheived a goal worthy of that collar.

_____________________________

randsboy

always home during the day and willing to play. I do not drive, but could host. color & ethnicity not a problem

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 4/13/2008 8:24:29 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		You should be able to ASK for anything, but that doesn't mean you're going to get it (or that you're going to get it when you expect).

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotprofessor

I would love to be "collared" and am wondering if a sumissive should ask to be collared?  Is it up to the DOM to make the first move or should I tell him that I want to be his "collared" submissive?

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 4/13/2008 11:06:15 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		noprofile noanswer

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 4/13/2008 11:58:48 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I admit to not reading the whole thread, or those who have posted here.  All I can say is that it is different for everyone.

When it was time for the discussion of a collar came for Me and My boy, there was not a lot of pretense involved.  I had wanted it to be something memorable.  Something special.  In a beautiful setting that neither one of U/us would forget.

Instead, it was rather ordinary.  The subject came to My mind as a matter of happenstance.  I told him to kneel, which he did, and proceeded to ask him what his thoughts were on wearing My collar.  My boy looked up and Me, and replied, "I already feel collared to you, m'Lady".  It was the most wonderful answer he could have given Me, and one I will never forget.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 4/14/2008 12:04:19 AM   
Luciferica


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline 		Collaring theoretically should be equal, you should be able to ask..just make sure it's what you really want...I take as much pride in my pet wearing his collar as he does in wearing it!

_____________________________

We always hurt the ones we love, the difference is how much they enjoy it.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 4/14/2008 1:41:38 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Imp, you did it well!

As for a Collar I'd find one that looked like a piece of jewelry made of medal but that would have to be welded or saudered on so that it was around her neck permanently so that she couldn't  take it off.

popeye,
I would love my subs collar to be permanent, to where he couldn't remove it, but in reality, it can't be. He can't wear it at work. He does, however, have a "work collar" that he can wear while working. But to have a permanent one like you suggest would be impossible for him right now.

To the OP,
When you decide whether you are a sub wanting to be collared or a Dom who lives in Chicago, I will take your post seriously.

Interesting to note that your HotProfessor profile is gone, or you put it in hiding.

MoGa


_____________________________





(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 4/14/2008 1:43:50 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

 My boy looked up and Me, and replied, "I already feel collared to you, m'Lady".  It was the most wonderful answer he could have given Me, and one I will never forget.

 
Aww!



_____________________________





(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 4/14/2008 7:20:56 AM   
WillowRain


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		Hrm, and yet here on EARTH, where we all live, it might be far better for someone to simply talk to their partner openly about how they feel. Assuming that her Dominant is someone she knows face to face, who she spends time with, asking him how he feels one night after dinner when they are hanging out would be appropriate. 

(in reply to Wulftooth)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 4/14/2008 10:09:20 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Do you guys realize that the OP is from 7/21/2006 and no longer has a profile?  Further someone called them out as having dual conflicting profiles. 

…For those truly curious about the proper protocol in this resurrected thread, nowhere in the lifestyle, BDSM, D/s. M/s or Gorian, have I seen it deemed improper for a slave to formally petition a Master for ownership. 

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to WillowRain)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 5/3/2008 7:54:59 PM   
BikerDomRealTime


Posts: 86
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotprofessor

HI Everyone:

I have been in  relationship with a DOM for over 8 months now and I feel very comfortable with us.  I would love to be "collared" and am wondering if a sumissive should ask to be collared?  Is it up to the DOM to make the first move or should I tell him that I want to be his "collared" submissive?

Thanks ahead of time for any help in this.

Hotprofessor


I don't think it is necessarily up to the Dom to make the first move.  I think is it says a lot from the sub/slave if she asks or begs for a collar.  Sure you can ask, you can even beg for it, it should never hurt to ask for anything.  Maybe that is what he is waiting for.  But you may not like the answer that he will give you.

(in reply to Hotprofessor)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 5/3/2008 10:00:30 PM   
michaels4evr


Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		Honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. A slave or submissive who wants me as his or her Mistress would have to petition me for it.

edited to add..being that this is the ask a Master board..

Likewise, I would find it predatory if I were uncollared and a Master asked me or commanded me to become His submissive. There would be nothing wrong with Him letting me know his desire, but I would still see it my role to beg or petition for His collar.

-michael's

< Message edited by michaels4evr -- 5/3/2008 10:03:01 PM >

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 5/4/2008 1:23:14 AM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulftooth

Don't know about BDSM, but on Gor you can do a submission where a Master must either collar you or kill you.


I just rolled my eyes so hard I gave myself a migraine.


_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to Wulftooth)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Asking to be collared - right or wrong? - 5/4/2008 6:28:33 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I was very good about dropping "hints", though.
Pictures of collars starting appearing, as well as articles on collaring, even
discussions on how much a collar would mean to me.
I have a smart Master.


He didn't find your behavior to be a bit manipulative?


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to RaynaSub)
Profile   Post #: 99
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