crazyml
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kaliko
I agree that this video is horrific, even though I do see the point you're trying to make.
1. There was a video out there at one time - maybe it was even referred to here in the forums. A man and a woman had done an experiment out on the streets. A man was being abusive toward the woman. People were outraged and tried to intervene to help. Then, the woman was being abusive toward the man. People laughed and found it amusing.
I've seen a very similar video - I'm not sure it is the same one that you're referring to. But in the video I watched the difference in attitude was easily explained by their relative sizes, and the perception of risk that a passer-by would have sensed.
There was no way the woman was going to harm the man, but the man was certainly capable of harming the woman.
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2. Just looking at the first minute of the video, yes, the woman hit him and we look at that and think (or at least, I thought) - wow, he's taking that really well. She was being a bit of a cunt, really. If that were the whole video, I would hope that there would be some outcry about it because yes, I agree with you that if the genders were reversed, people would be pissed. Even if the slaps and kicks were light like hers and didn't take her down, it's still abusive and people would be bullshit about it, so yes...I would hope people would be equally bullshit about her beating on him.
Can I ask you to watch it again - The man is physically intimidating her from the very outset.
As for whether she was being a cunt about it - We've no idea from the video what prompted the row. It could very well be that they've been married for 7 years, she's been constantly abusing him verbally and physically, and that this row is because he forgot to pick up ketchup. It could be that his violence towards her a welling up of anger that is a result of years of abuse.
Or, he could be a classic meat-heat, who habitually uses his physical advantage to intimidate her...
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3. But...he didn't slap her, he punched her. Several times. He wasn't defending himself, he wasn't trying to bring her out of a moment of rage. He reacted in anger. Anger brought on by her actions toward him? Yes, I have no doubt. He basically could have swatted her away like a gnat with no repercussions. She was clearly not having any impact on him physically. He chose to try to just take it - maybe in retrospect that wasn't a good choice for him because it was all bottled up until, it looked like, she said something that tipped him over the edge. And then he unleashed on her.
Physically, her unleashing on him is simply not the same as him unleashing on her. They may have both been at the same level of anger, but their different physical capabilities mean that they come out with vastly different levels of force. But, it's interesting to consider that maybe they both put in the same level of force, if that makes sense. Interesting or not, the point has already been made which I agree with. She's smaller than him, the impact of a punch is more forceful on her (clearly), and it turned my stomach to watch it.
4. However,...if this were two men fighting, regardless of the size and strength of either, this would be a non-event.
I am not sure I agree... I think the inequality of physical strength would make it an issue whatever the gender of the parties.
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So if I ponder exactly why this turned my stomach, things get a little more fuzzy.
Is it because she's smaller than him and not as strong? Honestly, if she were a man, I suspect many of us would be thinking "Well, he asked for it, and good on the bigger guy for holding out so long."
Maybe some would, but the disproportionate response is what turned my stomach.
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Although then it would turn into a discussion about how men shouldn't have to use aggression to prove their manliness. Yawn.
It it because she's a woman? Yes, I admit that it bothers me to see a man hit a woman like that - because she's a woman. But it probably shouldn't bother me for that reason if I were more interested in equality of the sexes.
Sure, it shouldn't.
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Is it because I've grown up in the same world as many of you and I'm simply conditioned to believe that woman-on-man violence is acceptable but man-on-woman violence is not?
In general, I wouldn't condone any physically stronger person beating on a smaller person when they have the opportunity to remove themselves from the situation instead. That, in my mind, shows more weakness than strength. But really - it's interesting to drill it down to see exactly why we consider this video so horrific because again, if it were two men fighting, we wouldn't even be talking about it.
Well sure, if it were two men fighting, then poor old RM wouldn't have attempted to use in his bungled attempt to show how men are victims.
But you're right, it is interesting to drill down a bit, and I'm sure that this video will be used in quite a few gender equality lectures and seminars. Occasionally, no doubt, by the tiny proportion of feminists that are nutters, but mostly, I am sure, by smart people who want to explore exactly the dilemma you're mulling over.
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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.
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RE: Is the man the only one who is bad? - 
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