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RE: Verbal Abuse & Put-downs - 7/21/2006 10:53:53 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha
I actually agree with both these statements, but it's not just women that play this game. That i learned from personal experience.


Sadly, the War Of The Sexes leaves everyone a little wounded. :-(

<~ Been there, still Burning the damn T-shirt

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Verbal Abuse & Put-downs - 7/22/2006 2:11:47 AM   
BeeQueen


Posts: 73
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline 		i would bee interessted in the reason y u post this treat
did a sub/slave complain??
or do u feel urself that the motivation y u humilitate someone else is not out of BDSM reason?

id ask myself y i feel the urge to cuss a sub.....especially if the person addressed has nothing in mind with humiliation and verbal abuse.
ask the person if they feel ok with that beehavior..and if not ..STOP it.

_____________________________

All men are animals, just some make better pets. (note the sarcasm) personal free 3d-chat under http://members.chello.at/beequeen/

(in reply to MASTERinVA)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Verbal Abuse & Put-downs - 7/22/2006 2:34:21 AM   
Sasy


Posts: 1387
Joined: 7/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Just my  two cents .... I  think his profile tells the ones that MIGHT  be interested in him  what  they are in for..... LOL Me  now however  I  would put his profile on hide and likely block if he fell into my search list.....

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Verbal Abuse & Put-downs - 7/22/2006 2:42:51 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		"I am a Master and I like to use verbal abuse including put-downs at times.  For example, if a slave does something stupid I like being direct and telling him he's a idiot.  I'm finding that this is not generally accepted practice, yet I like it because it allows me to communicate openly and directly. "

If you are a master who cares what other people find acceptable. Do it, own it, be it.

If they don't like it they aren't the one(s) for you. Don't abuse them in the process, assist them through themselves.

D (owner of j).

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to MASTERinVA)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Verbal Abuse & Put-downs - 7/22/2006 3:17:15 AM   
ClassAct2006


Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		You just need to find someone who fits with how you are then. I like dominant men who make me feel good about myself, who say, well done and good girl and improve me. I like tact and consideration of feelings, praise not punishment and a belief that if I really want to please and I don't then may be he's more likely to have got things wrong than I have

(in reply to MASTERinVA)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Verbal Abuse & Put-downs - 7/22/2006 3:57:08 AM   
Avrilkiller


Posts: 45
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline 		That would be a hard limit for me as well.
There's just something about verbal abuse that is so totally different and worse than physical discipline.

I think, for me, it's that having a somewhat structured "You did this, so I'll spank you/no dinner etc." punishment represents that I was naughty, and must be punished. But being yelled at that I'm an idiot is not. A spanking disciplines for one wrongdoing, and afterwards, you are forgiven. Being called a comeplete idiot...that's permanent. You're not saying they're only worthless for a few minutes, you're permanently cutting them down.

Also, just somehow, somehow indescribable, verbally being shut down is just different and much, much more painful than physical punishment. It just makes you feel completely unloved, not at all like I'm being taught a lesson, more like I'm being rejected.

Well, that's my input.

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Verbal Abuse & Put-downs - 7/22/2006 4:09:18 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I had verbal abuse and put downs from my ex for 30 yrs...never again!!!

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to Avrilkiller)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Verbal Abuse & Put-downs - 7/22/2006 7:43:27 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

I had verbal abuse and put downs from my ex for 30 yrs...never again!!!


Hello cuddleheart,

I can understand that. The context and the emotional manipulation behind that type of thing is what creates the hurt and can be intolerable and damaging.

In my post earlier, I mentioned that my Master calls me a *fuckwit* at times and , in fact, I can imagine that someone outside of our relationship might look askance at him, now and then, with the way he speaks to me, teases me or refers to me. They may not see or understand the interplay between us, they may not understand the humour that we both share OR the type of pragmatic approach we both have to our relationship. 

I like my Master *pulling my pig-tails*....I like the fact that I can be a complete fuckwit and have a slightly exasperated but smiling Master mentioning it. There's a world of difference.

In negative circumstances I might *feel* or view it VERY differently.

Regards, agirl







(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Verbal Abuse & Put-downs - 7/22/2006 9:03:25 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		*fast reply*

I'd typed a long and thoughtful reply earlier, but the server ate it.  So, for Take Two, I believe I'll just post the gist without all the nice stuff.  You know, open and direct communication.

So, yeah, you probably can find some guy who is mentally unhealthy enough to allow you to call him stupid and an idiot because you don't feel like exercising any self control.

So, do you want an idiot for a slave?  Someone stupid?  I don't think you do.

You don't want to exercise self-control?  That only makes you look bad. 

But hey, it's your life, good luck with that.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 49
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