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Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 6:43:59 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
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1) Do not call up the local paper personal's desk and dictate an personal ad with the line "woman must have talent for blow jobs."
2) Do not attempt to design the perfect back yard roller coaster.

Feel free to add your own.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

Post #: 1

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 8:27:09 AM

WickedsDesire

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
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24 years ago

piss out a bedroom window whence hammered on glorious snakebite and drambuie drools as your mother in law walks underneath it - was her hoose too - true story guffaws

(in reply to jlf1961)

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RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 11:38:55 AM

WhoreMods

Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
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Did you hit her?

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

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RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 11:49:56 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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1. Cook naked.

2. Use a chainsaw in a tree.

3. Preach in your local church.

4. Try to relive your glory days in sports in a crowded bar.

5. Go to a petting zoo.

6. Text.

7. Go food shopping.

8. Decide that today is the day you will begin rock climbing.

9. Sing opera to your boss.

10. Try to make your own airplane.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to WhoreMods)

Post #: 4

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 12:24:18 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

1. Wear high heels...

2. Fit into a pair of pants a size too small (the heavy breathing will make you hurl).

3. Make out without protection (how I got pregnant on Beltane...)

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to Gauge)

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RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 12:30:19 PM

freedomdwarf1

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Joined: 10/23/2012
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Avoid all ills and calamities and don't drink in the first place

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“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to jlf1961)

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RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 12:33:38 PM

peppermint

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Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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A friend of mine did this. Opened the door to the refrigerator. Then opened the vegetable drawer and peed in there thinking it was the toilet.

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We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 7

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 1:26:05 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

Avoid all ills and calamities and don't drink in the first place

That would be boring as hell.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 8

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 1:49:57 PM

freedomdwarf1

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Joined: 10/23/2012
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My life isn't boring!

I don't have time to get bored!! lolol.

Yes, I do drink; but very moderately.
Certainly not to the extent that it impairs my thought processes.
Haven't been sozzled or even merry since my early teens.
And that was a very long time ago.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 9

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 3:21:42 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

My life isn't boring!

I don't have time to get bored!! lolol.

Yes, I do drink; but very moderately.
Certainly not to the extent that it impairs my thought processes.
Haven't been sozzled or even merry since my early teens.
And that was a very long time ago.

Impaired judgement is not always a bad thing, and there are times when getting blitz is a good thing...

But I have to ask, they had whiskey in the Jurassic?

Sorry, could not help myself considering you are a "Grouchy Olde Dinosaur"

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 10

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 3:56:51 PM

Dvr22999874

Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
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Don't play William Tell with a high powered german air-rifle and your cousin holding a beer can as substitute for an apple.

Don't souvenir (steal) flags in a foreign country

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 11

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 5:01:30 PM

kiwisub22

Posts: 450
Joined: 7/16/2016
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Don't attempt to replenish your supply of glasses whilst at the pub....... Especially if you're underage and not smart enough not to let them clink.

(in reply to Dvr22999874)

Post #: 12

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/27/2016 5:34:09 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Things not to do? Well ...

1) Walk up to the 6'9" 400 lb. guy, wearing the leather jacket with the Hell's Angel's colors and the 1%er patch and say: "Are you an asshole? 'Cause, you look like an asshole. I'll bet you're the biggest asshole in this bar."

2) Ask the barmaid if you get a free blowjob with every fourth drink.

3) Use the word "marriage" or "relationship" inside the bar, at any time when all you want to do is get laid.

4) insist upon doing "flaming shots" when you're wearing full facial hair.

I'm sure I'll think of some more.

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to kiwisub22)

Post #: 13

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/28/2016 12:03:14 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

1. Write anything on the Internet.

2. Try to make Jello with coffee.

3. Attempt to translate hieroglyphics. I mean... ever.

4. Play Angry Birds.

5. Have a "make up argument" with your significant other.

6. Try to self tattoo with a rabbit as your tattoo gun.

7. Try to say 12 limericks... ever. No... seriously... ever.

8. Profess your love to a policeman.

9. Microwave popcorn.

10. Dance the Watusi with small farm animals.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 14

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/28/2016 12:12:56 AM

Dvr22999874

Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
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kiwisub............until recently, I actually had a t-shirt and some glasses from a pub ( Molly O'Grady's) in Invercargill. They were very trusting souls in that pub and I have to admit we took a little bit of an advantage of that fact.

One thing never to do in New Zealand when you are drunk is to start telling sheep jokes to the cab driver when you are wanting to get back to your ship and it's 40 kms of completely empty country road.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 15

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/28/2016 12:26:14 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874

kiwisub............until recently, I actually had a t-shirt and some glasses from a pub ( Molly O'Grady's) in Invercargill. They were very trusting souls in that pub and I have to admit we took a little bit of an advantage of that fact.

One thing never to do in New Zealand when you are drunk is to start telling sheep jokes to the cab driver when you are wanting to get back to your ship and it's 40 kms of completely empty country road.

Dude, you are a party in a bottle.

So is the cabbie.

Get down.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Dvr22999874)

Post #: 16

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/28/2016 12:44:32 AM

Dvr22999874

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Joined: 9/11/2008
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We started off with the joke about why Kiwi horses ran faster than any others and then they gradually got worse until the cab driver stopped and told us to get out and do what I thought was a sexual and physical impossibility. It was a long walk after that.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 17

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/28/2016 1:06:31 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874

We started off with the joke about why Kiwi horses ran faster than any others and then they gradually got worse until the cab driver stopped and told us to get out and do what I thought was a sexual and physical impossibility. It was a long walk after that.

They run faster because horses can hear a zipper over a mile away.

Didn't the cabbie know that?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Dvr22999874)

Post #: 18

RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... - 7/28/2016 1:11:45 AM

Dvr22999874

Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
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They've seen what the kiwi blokes do with the sheep.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 19

RE: Mistress has wayward boy for new owner - 7/28/2016 1:22:25 AM

Dvr22999874

Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
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One other thing a (french) man shouldn't do when he's been drinking ( but on the reverse side of the coin)......... don't stand at the corner of a bar in a French port, telling the barman, very loudly, what assholes, pigs and dogs the british are when the bar is full of british seamen and one of them just happens to speak French.

(in reply to MistressPixxy)

Post #: 20

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