quote:

You have a big heart as your Achilles' Heel.

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ORIGINAL: subneicy

Kudos to you Caretakr!

As an attention whore myself,  I often find things to do to garner attention.   As a great MASTER recognizes this and corrects appropriately.  I am not a masochist, so a swift swat often cures the problem.  However, I  have noticed with a masochist this is simply foreplay so ignoring them often works better.

Although the submissive will be hurt, ultimately you are doing a great service toward their growth.

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ORIGINAL: marieToo

From the other side of the coin, Id not last a minute with a Dominant who got off on pushing my buttons, just to watch me struggle to maintain composed behavior. 
For as many manipulative submissives who act out for punishment there are as many, if not more, Dominants who like to push the sub to 'misbehave' so he can get *his* punishment kink on. 
Give me a break.  It comes from both sides. 
Theres a hell of alot of Doms out there who are merely pissed off at mommy, and women in general and really just want a head to fuck with and an ass to beat.  I personally dont want to volunteer to be the psychological life raft of those types either.

edited for a typo

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"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I'm becoming more and more amused at the outrage being expressed by simply stating that people should be accountable for their own feelings and deeds.
I guess there is an attitude of arrogance that really DOES consider Dominants to be superior, godlike creatures who can "fix" any fuck up who happens along.
ROFL....I guess that emotional masochism is not reserved for subs alone.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I'm becoming more and more amused at the outrage being expressed by simply stating that people should be accountable for their own feelings and deeds.
I guess there is an attitude of arrogance that really DOES consider Dominants to be superior, godlike creatures who can "fix" any fuck up who happens along.
ROFL....I guess that emotional masochism is not reserved for subs alone.

I have no problem with doms that are not into punishment.. my Daddy isn't keen on it either... that was not my issue or most of the people that posted in reply

It is the lack of acceptance of others that have needs different than your own, calling such people derrogatory names, callling such people losers. Calliing people that feel they want a punishment dynamic "get over yourself bitches".. it just isn't very kind.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I do not agree with your "opinion", I never have had a relationship or saw a relationship that failed that we weren't both losers, and we both didn't need to get over ourselves, and we both weren't bitches along the way..

your kink ain't my kink, but your kink you consented to take part in and now blame your former partners and call them names... I will be a little un-pc myself.. you get what you tolerate, and personally I find men that piss and moan about their former partners to be just as flawed in themselves,., they just can't own it.

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ORIGINAL: Caretakr

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I think many people, regardless of lifestyle have dysfunctions, some worse than others.  A broken person is a broken person, regardless of kink.

Any Dom who would repeatedly put up with ridiculous behavior from a sub is not much of a Dom, or perhaps he's a maso.  But he's not anything a strong sub would ever respect.

Which is what I have said all along. Grow up or hit the road.

But of course, that makes me cruel and sad and all sorts of nasty things. Why do subs seem to have this conflict with wanting a strong guy who caves in?

Can you see how much of an oxymoron that is?

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

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You have a big heart as your Achilles' Heel.

I think Bob would agree with that statement.

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ORIGINAL: Caretakr

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ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure

No.  Actually there is an attitude that a dominant who volleys a slew of names (the latest being "fuck up" but we've seen "loser", "bitch" and quite a bit of vicious disrespect) at submissives who have the audacity to have punishment/self-forgiveness issues (all so much "shit", as far as you're concerned) obviously has some pretty severe issues himself.  And of course any woman who challenges your vitriolic, misogynistic blather is lumped in with those you label as lacking "emotional containment". 

Sad, really sad. 

I could say some really cruel things about you, and your motivations for being here. Because you gave me that ammunition earlier on, before I pretty much tired of you.

But I am not going to do that, I will only ask that you reexamine if this will fix YOUR problems- but neglecting your own internal work, that lead to previous failures is not the solution.

A master is not going to be able to "fix" you either.

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ORIGINAL: shigglyboom

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ORIGINAL: Caretakr

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ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure

No.  Actually there is an attitude that a dominant who volleys a slew of names (the latest being "fuck up" but we've seen "loser", "bitch" and quite a bit of vicious disrespect) at submissives who have the audacity to have punishment/self-forgiveness issues (all so much "shit", as far as you're concerned) obviously has some pretty severe issues himself.  And of course any woman who challenges your vitriolic, misogynistic blather is lumped in with those you label as lacking "emotional containment". 

Sad, really sad. 

I could say some really cruel things about you, and your motivations for being here. Because you gave me that ammunition earlier on, before I pretty much tired of you.

But I am not going to do that, I will only ask that you reexamine if this will fix YOUR problems- but neglecting your own internal work, that lead to previous failures is not the solution.

A master is not going to be able to "fix" you either.

I don't know either of you and I don't know what's been going on in other threads or real life that may have led to this exchange, but I find the above threat, Caretkr, to be rather appalling and immature. Surely someone with your self-awareness and reputation on these boards doesn't need to threaten people to try to silence them, or try to gain stature by claiming to have dumped them. Perhaps I'm reading this wrong?

Or did you intend us to admire your supposed self-restraint and conclude that the other party is not worth our respect?

If so, you underestimate the intelligence of the people on these boards, and vastly overrate your own.

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ORIGINAL: Caretakr

You were smart enough to realize that you only submitted to what you wanted, to begin with.

Stupid people never realize that they can gain more, by giving. The more you try to just take,the less you get. People get tired of it, and they shut you out.

That's the art, in relationships. Opening the doors, by passing things through them.
[/quote

Yes.........I agreed to live this way, because of a person. I can't take any credit for the fact that I was extremely fortunate to have had the chance.


agirl

(in reply to Caretakr)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Well, I still say to each his own. Personally, I would try to be the best submissive I could be, and don't see myself needing much punishment. But, a Dominant I was with might have a different opinion, of course.

But, if that will be the case, that brings me to wondering something else, instead.
Question: If we (submissives) are really, really good, can we "cash that in" for extra "playtime" (even "heavy-duty play-time") like using green stamps, somewhere along the line, with our Dominant? I really just gotta know. Besides, we're not even to page 20 yet. 

P.S. I am serious, and not a "tit for tat" person and try to be an unselfish giver (truly). But - what happens if we are extra-extra good? Anything special, ever? Hmmm?

- Susan 

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Well, I still say to each his own. Personally, I would try to be the best submissive I could be, and don't see myself needing much punishment.

But, if that will be the case, that brings me to wondering something else, instead.
Question: If we (submissives) are really, really good, can we "cash that in" for extra "playtime" (even "heavy-duty play-time") like using green stamps, somewhere along the line, with our Dominant? I really just gotta know. Besides, we're not even to page 20 yet. 

P.S. I am serious, and not a "tit for tat" person (truly). But - what happens if we are extra-extra good? Anything special, ever? Hmmm?

- Susan