RE: Getting over it

RE: Getting over it (Full Version)

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Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:00:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eroticangel it wasn't what He said or how He said it...it was how YOU took it...i find it to be a oerfectly normal thread and a perfectly normal request...i don't believe the OP is trying to make anyone change their thought or who they ar He is just trying to pass on His thoughts....Frankly i think you have all been so thrilled to turn this against Him...we all have a right to seek what WE want. It's all right angel, I'm used to people dumping thier baggage on me here. And it is what I get, for doing the same.

juliaoceania -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:02:19 PM)
Read the entire thread where he admitted freely to creating a controversy... not that it would necessarily be a bad thing... it just means when we stir the hornets nest we tend to get stung.. On edit: Im controversial too at times and I think that it was calling people losers that ruffled the feathers a little

enthralled -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:03:16 PM)
At least dumping baggage is free here ... they charged me $25 at the airport! [8D] ~enthralled

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:04:17 PM)
Some people enjoy controversy......others do not... just my thoughts on it.

Noah -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:05:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr Oh,I understand how they WORK Noah,been there, done that. I just wanna have a CHOICE in whether to use them! Me too, cause nobody knows better than an accomplished punisher the limits of its usefulness and the sickly way it can slide into bullshit if not properly managed. This brings me to a point of strong agreement with your OP if I read it right. The only way to manage that dynamic according to my preference is to delegate most of the shitwork to the person who wants to benefit from it. Like you I will walk away early from someone who can't fairly soon recognize, for instance, her tendency to manipulativeness and begin to do the hard work necessary to notice the sometimes insidious ways it can infect all sort of behavior. If the object is a primary relationship that whole process has to be completed or never called for in the first place. Just imagine though, if we were very wise in the ways of humanity! Wouldn't that be cool?

eroticangel -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:09:29 PM)
i did read the whole thread.......seems to me some took things to be meant towards them....i didn't see that they were

Noah -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:11:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Noah, your posts get better every day.. I swear they do. Oh. So they used to suck that bad, did they? Is that what you're saying? Harpy! I and several members of my fan club like your stuff too. And that one guy whose napkins I heard you are in charge of folding.... I don't want to spread any false rumors or true ones so I won't mention any names but if the rumors are true tell him he's a breath of fresh air sometimes too. HEY! SOMEBODY CUE THE FUCKING KUMBAYA MUSIC! NOW!

WyrdRich -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:12:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Noah Just imagine though, if we were very wise in the ways of humanity! Wouldn't that be cool? "If we are so superior, what are we doing working here?" Randal to Dante, Clerks.

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:15:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Noah quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr Oh,I understand how they WORK Noah,been there, done that. I just wanna have a CHOICE in whether to use them! Me too, cause nobody knows better than an accomplished punisher the limits of its usefulness and the sickly way it can slide into bullshit if not properly managed. This brings me to a point of strong agreement with your OP if I read it right. The only way to manage that dynamic according to my preference is to delegate most of the shitwork to the person who wants to benefit from it. Like you I will walk away early from someone who can't fairly soon recognize, for instance, her tendency to manipulativeness and begin to do the hard work necessary to notice the sometimes insidious ways it can infect all sort of behavior. If the object is a primary relationship that whole process has to be completed or never called for in the first place. Just imagine though, if we were very wise in the ways of humanity! Wouldn't that be cool? Yes........I want compliance. Not denial. This is going to sound like whining, but here it is. I have had a FEW subs like this, in the past. My bad, after number one, that I did two and three. The nuances were intially difficult to spot. All ended about the same-I was expected to do the shit work. Considering that they locked and bolted the door to the chamber pot-I was not even allowed to get my hands dirty-much less empty the commode. The flush must be done from the INSIDE. I can talk about shit till my lips fall off, but the sub's gotta be the one to push it out.[:D]

peta -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:15:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr I've had past girls who thought I was an absolute bastard, for a certain attitude I had. You see,I won't punish. I don't think I should be enforcing someone keeping her word to me. And I don't feel that I should be catering to a girl atoning for HER guilt-when she childishly insists on beating herself up for screwing up. Here's why. I won't be held responsible for someone eles's lack of emotional self control. If I cater to this nuerotic impulse, I only further reenforce it. I really hate having my time wasted by someone moping around-when there are things to be done. Get the fuck over yourself and deal with it, bitch. And drama only encourages more. You see,taking punishment is very catholic. There's really not a lot of consequence in avoiding the sin-if all you have to do is to pay some quick and easy penance. What I want to see happen, is work. I can try to all the outside reenforcement in the world-and it usually won't work. The real nitty gritty and improvement comes when you force someone to take the proper personal accountability-and make them do the internal work, that corrects the attitudes and feelings that made the problems to begin wih. Rather than slapping a bandage on the "boo boo". Ok, guess my true side shows again..........Not quite slave like I am sure. I am an adult, if I need to be punished I am doing something wrong. I strongly believe that some submissive women/men seek out negative attention from their Dom/Master because they enjoy the drama and the punishment. Hell if I want a good beating I will ask for one and hope it is in His mind that day to give one to me. If I need a shoulder to cry on I can ask Him for that also. When the slave/sub concentrates on their submission isn't it supposed to be that we thrive to please Him/Her? I don't get the need for punishment, also believe that the word 'correction' is just another word for the exact same thing. D/s, M/s, BDSM is all consensual......grow up and be responsible for your own actions. peta

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:20:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peta quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr I've had past girls who thought I was an absolute bastard, for a certain attitude I had. You see,I won't punish. I don't think I should be enforcing someone keeping her word to me. And I don't feel that I should be catering to a girl atoning for HER guilt-when she childishly insists on beating herself up for screwing up. Here's why. I won't be held responsible for someone eles's lack of emotional self control. If I cater to this nuerotic impulse, I only further reenforce it. I really hate having my time wasted by someone moping around-when there are things to be done. Get the fuck over yourself and deal with it, bitch. And drama only encourages more. You see,taking punishment is very catholic. There's really not a lot of consequence in avoiding the sin-if all you have to do is to pay some quick and easy penance. What I want to see happen, is work. I can try to all the outside reenforcement in the world-and it usually won't work. The real nitty gritty and improvement comes when you force someone to take the proper personal accountability-and make them do the internal work, that corrects the attitudes and feelings that made the problems to begin wih. Rather than slapping a bandage on the "boo boo". Ok, guess my true side shows again..........Not quite slave like I am sure. I am an adult, if I need to be punished I am doing something wrong. I strongly believe that some submissive women/men seek out negative attention from their Dom/Master because they enjoy the drama and the punishment. Hell if I want a good beating I will ask for one and hope it is in His mind that day to give one to me. If I need a shoulder to cry on I can ask Him for that also. When the slave/sub concentrates on their submission isn't it supposed to be that we thrive to please Him/Her? I don't get the need for punishment, also believe that the word 'correction' is just another word for the exact same thing. D/s, M/s, BDSM is all consensual......grow up and be responsible for your own actions. peta Believe it or no, that's the perfect slave to me. Just be real, be with it. The fantasies can come out during play time.........peace and freedom, you can't ask for a lot more than that.

hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:22:01 PM)
You didn't pay close enough attention to the post, Noah. What I stated was that someone who is honestly still an emtional child - as opposed to someone having a kink that includes acting occassionally childlike - is not in a position to be in a relationship. I also stated that the Kink is significantly different than someone dodging adulthood out of incompitance. (And the Tagline - My Karma ran over your Dogma, etc... is meant for humor.) quote: original hisgeorgiapeach Punishement - as opposed to Discipline - is for children. And someone who is still a Child rather than an Adult is in no condition emotionally to be in a Relationship in the first place. Having a Kink of being childlike at times with your partner doesn't even begin to enter into what we're talking about here edited to go back and quote my own original text, in context.

catize -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:28:16 PM)
There is a big difference between emotional support and emotional blackmail. You are discussing the former, the OP discusses the latter.

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:33:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize There is a big difference between emotional support and emotional blackmail. You are discussing the former, the OP discusses the latter. And we have the first winner of the thread. Step right up and claim your prize-you can have the fuzzy teddy bear in the bondage rig, the flogger, or a trip to buy shoes.[;)]

Noah -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:34:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 and btw I could say you travel in packs too, but My dignity won't let Me stoop that low--ahem. and btw I could point out that you just did stoop that low except in a transparently disingenuous manner, but, you know ... my hypermagnitudinous dignity and shit. Keep posting MHOO. You make me laugh. And your little dog too. Hey, also btw: my neighbor raises milk and he has this one fat cow who seems to pronounce it just like that: "mMMHOOOOoooo" when he clamps the milker to her droopy old udders. He says she talks all hoity toity like so people will think she's wise in the ways of cowmanity. But he says actually it only fools the dumb cows and actually he can't swear that she ain't a few squirts short of a pail if you know what I mean. Then I usually buy him a beer. Do you think that's okay? Oh. I just noticed that you yourself have a cattle avatar. What a coincidence!

peta -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:47:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr quote: ORIGINAL: peta quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr I've had past girls who thought I was an absolute bastard, for a certain attitude I had. You see,I won't punish. I don't think I should be enforcing someone keeping her word to me. And I don't feel that I should be catering to a girl atoning for HER guilt-when she childishly insists on beating herself up for screwing up. Here's why. I won't be held responsible for someone eles's lack of emotional self control. If I cater to this nuerotic impulse, I only further reenforce it. I really hate having my time wasted by someone moping around-when there are things to be done. Get the fuck over yourself and deal with it, bitch. And drama only encourages more. You see,taking punishment is very catholic. There's really not a lot of consequence in avoiding the sin-if all you have to do is to pay some quick and easy penance. What I want to see happen, is work. I can try to all the outside reenforcement in the world-and it usually won't work. The real nitty gritty and improvement comes when you force someone to take the proper personal accountability-and make them do the internal work, that corrects the attitudes and feelings that made the problems to begin wih. Rather than slapping a bandage on the "boo boo". Ok, guess my true side shows again..........Not quite slave like I am sure. I am an adult, if I need to be punished I am doing something wrong. I strongly believe that some submissive women/men seek out negative attention from their Dom/Master because they enjoy the drama and the punishment. Hell if I want a good beating I will ask for one and hope it is in His mind that day to give one to me. If I need a shoulder to cry on I can ask Him for that also. When the slave/sub concentrates on their submission isn't it supposed to be that we thrive to please Him/Her? I don't get the need for punishment, also believe that the word 'correction' is just another word for the exact same thing. D/s, M/s, BDSM is all consensual......grow up and be responsible for your own actions. peta Believe it or no, that's the perfect slave to me. Just be real, be with it. The fantasies can come out during play time.........peace and freedom, you can't ask for a lot more than that. Just so much is discussed about punishment. Why on earth should a mature person who seeks out this type of relationship need to be punished or corrected? Go into the relationship with your eyes open. Know what is expected of you and do it. Communicate in a positive way any issues you may have. If things are not working admit it and move on. Simple!! LOL peta Oh and thankyou for the compliment....I believe it was a compliment anyway..smiles.

Caretakr -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:50:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peta quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr quote: ORIGINAL: peta quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr I've had past girls who thought I was an absolute bastard, for a certain attitude I had. You see,I won't punish. I don't think I should be enforcing someone keeping her word to me. And I don't feel that I should be catering to a girl atoning for HER guilt-when she childishly insists on beating herself up for screwing up. Here's why. I won't be held responsible for someone eles's lack of emotional self control. If I cater to this nuerotic impulse, I only further reenforce it. I really hate having my time wasted by someone moping around-when there are things to be done. Get the fuck over yourself and deal with it, bitch. And drama only encourages more. You see,taking punishment is very catholic. There's really not a lot of consequence in avoiding the sin-if all you have to do is to pay some quick and easy penance. What I want to see happen, is work. I can try to all the outside reenforcement in the world-and it usually won't work. The real nitty gritty and improvement comes when you force someone to take the proper personal accountability-and make them do the internal work, that corrects the attitudes and feelings that made the problems to begin wih. Rather than slapping a bandage on the "boo boo". Ok, guess my true side shows again..........Not quite slave like I am sure. I am an adult, if I need to be punished I am doing something wrong. I strongly believe that some submissive women/men seek out negative attention from their Dom/Master because they enjoy the drama and the punishment. Hell if I want a good beating I will ask for one and hope it is in His mind that day to give one to me. If I need a shoulder to cry on I can ask Him for that also. When the slave/sub concentrates on their submission isn't it supposed to be that we thrive to please Him/Her? I don't get the need for punishment, also believe that the word 'correction' is just another word for the exact same thing. D/s, M/s, BDSM is all consensual......grow up and be responsible for your own actions. peta Believe it or no, that's the perfect slave to me. Just be real, be with it. The fantasies can come out during play time.........peace and freedom, you can't ask for a lot more than that. Just so much is discussed about punishment. Why on earth shown a mature person who seeks out this type of relationship need to be punished or corrected? Go into the relationship with your eyes open. Know what is expected of you and do it. Communicate in a positive way any issues you may have. If things are not working admit it and move on. Simple!! LOL peta Oh and thankyou for the compliment....I believe it was a compliment anyway..smiles. It was, and thank you. And Noah,you are freaking KILLING me here. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[:D]

catize -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:53:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caretakr quote: ORIGINAL: catize There is a big difference between emotional support and emotional blackmail. You are discussing the former, the OP discusses the latter. And we have the first winner of the thread. Step right up and claim your prize-you can have the fuzzy teddy bear in the bondage rig, the flogger, or a trip to buy shoes.[;)] But what if I want to be the one in the bondage rig AND have the flogger used on me, AFTER I bought those sexy shoes? LOL

stanton -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:53:51 PM)
"""I am totally cool if your kink is to consensually grind your heel on any show of weakness and call it tough love.""" Yowza! OP: This still running on? Feel for you, man. Are you sure you aren't a ref shouting OUT! before the batter even gets to the plate? Just cause one or two wern't your style- maybe you are too quick to label? Shit, you'd scare me into diapers.... [&:] Lots of laughs

Noah -> RE: Getting over it (7/22/2006 5:55:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize There is a big difference between emotional support and emotional blackmail. You are discussing the former, the OP discusses the latter. Exactly! We were both talking about punishment but focusing on two distinct sorts of phenomena associated with punishment dynamics in relationships. At first he was discussing the latter as if it would characterize any maso-sub's desire for a punishment dynamic to be part of her relationship. Then he had an RC Cola and Moon Pie and felt much better. Then the harpies attacked! What a day, huh? Several of the posters in between and since have been promoting a general principle that punishment cannot be a part of a healthy adult relationship. This is very similar to that classic argument that whipping and beating and stuff cannot be a part of a healthy adult relationship. And equally valid. I was showing that punishment can be a lot of things to a lot of people. One possibility is that it can be evidence of a fucked-up unrecognized topping-from-the-bottom manipulation. Another possibility is that it can be more damn trouble than it is worth to the top. Another possibility is that it can be a consensual effort at emotional support between, you know, kinky grownups. I advocated not throwing the unmentionable out with the bathwater. Are you down with that?

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