Losers and failures

Losers and failures (Full Version)

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TheMistressLucy -> Losers and failures (8/29/2016 1:15:50 PM)
I have had a lot of male subs approach me here and in their first message tell me they are a loser or a failure or are not worthy and need to be controlled. At what point is this attractive to me and worthy of my time? I prefer my subs to be successful and have made something of their lives, it doesn't mean you have to be CEO of a company but someone intelligent enough to know there is always more to learn, more to aspire to and be the best they can. Any thoughts on this? ------------------------------------------------------ And before anyone points out, I know all subs are not like this :)

OsideGirl -> RE: Losers and failures (8/29/2016 1:17:46 PM)
I've always maintained that D/s is a power exchange relationship. If you don't have any power, you have nothing to exchange, and therefore nothing to offer.

TheMistressLucy -> RE: Losers and failures (8/29/2016 1:22:45 PM)
Power over a weak perrson is not much of a challenge.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Losers and failures (8/29/2016 1:53:10 PM)
Unfortunately, an awful lot of sub men seem to think that by saying they are worthless makes them more desirable to Dommes. I dunno why that is. Despite being told umpteen times by others on these forums that it's not good bait for their hook, they still persist in doing it. Maybe those that don't learn really are worthless.

DarkSteven -> RE: Losers and failures (8/29/2016 2:14:33 PM)
Humiliation is big in porn. The folks whose education consists largely of porn may try this.

TheMistressLucy -> RE: Losers and failures (8/29/2016 2:20:52 PM)
I can't imagine a submissive woman messaging a male dom with the same approach.

Kana -> RE: Losers and failures (8/29/2016 6:13:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheMistressLucy I can't imagine a submissive woman messaging a male dom with the same approach. It happens. Not as much as I suspect it does the other way around but it occurs. And most of them want the fantasy of that, but in reality want care and love...because human

LadyPact -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 1:50:13 AM)
It's porn. Gonna cut the producers of porn a break. That sh^t sells! If I were going to produce porn, I'd go with the stuff that made me money, too. Whether I (personally) like it or not, porn is a lot of people's indoctrination into BDSM. They "think" the stereotype is what it's all about. It works in the movies, right? (Of course, in the movies, we all wear latex catsuits all of the time, the most prominent figure is the guy's dick, and the "money shot" is how everybody has sex.) That doesn't mean porn is good education. I mean, did you go and see LotR and think when you stepped out of the theater, the whole planet was going to look like middle Earth?

LilJuly76 -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 4:13:49 AM)
what I hate about BDSM porn is that they have these hot looking 18-25 year old "submissives" who have no clue. When many of us are just average folk.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 4:25:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LilJuly76 what I hate about BDSM porn is that they have these hot looking 18-25 year old "submissives" who have no clue. When many of us are just average folk. They do that for porn. lol. Like LP said - it sells, even if it's not anything like reality.

PeonForHer -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 5:21:47 AM)
TML, if you agree with OsideGirl that 'D/s is a power exchange relationship. If you don't have any power, you have nothing to exchange, and therefore nothing to offer'? If so, I'd put that in your profile(s).

chocolateboy1976 -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 5:46:49 AM)
Really porn..where does it end? In the past, taking cum to the face would have got an actress a bonus...then came anal ...then dp etc....now it seems as an actress to get paid more you have to go even further. Sadly the issue is that many folks (young and old) can't differenciate between reality and what they see on film/online.

NookieNotes -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 6:31:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chocolateboy1976 Really porn..where does it end? In the past, taking cum to the face would have got an actress a bonus...then came anal ...then dp etc....now it seems as an actress to get paid more you have to go even further. Sadly the issue is that many folks (young and old) can't differenciate between reality and what they see on film/online. Here's the thing, though... For us in the kink world it may be reality. Or at least a part of it. After all, I have had multiple dominant women sitting around a naked man, teasing and humiliating him at one of my Women In Charge parties. What most men who have watched that porn seem to not clue into is that happened at one social. With someone that I really like and who has made an effort to help and befriend many in our community. It was HIS fantasy, not ours (although we did have fun), and we liked him enough to fulfill it for him. It is not and never will be a 24/7 lifestyle to live like that. Yes, there are smokin' hot sexy times, and humiliation and group play and whatever in the kink world. But we all gotta make the donuts, take care of the kids, have friend time and cook our dinners. And, as someone mentioned, we don't all look like porn stars, either (which is OK, few of the men approaching do, either).

LadyPact -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 7:28:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chocolateboy1976 Really porn..where does it end? In the past, taking cum to the face would have got an actress a bonus...then came anal ...then dp etc....now it seems as an actress to get paid more you have to go even further. Sadly the issue is that many folks (young and old) can't differenciate between reality and what they see on film/online. Yep. Really. Porn. It's what made the stereotypes popular in the first place. The lowly worm, the b^tch Goddess, the "punishment" scenarios that so often end with the male orgasm being the focal point, and a bunch of other stuff that appeals to the males buying it. Like a number of other things, a lot of people (het males) think if something is sexy to them, they think that's what turns on their female counterparts, too.

WickedsDesire -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 7:34:55 AM)
As most have said their knowledge wants and desires are gleaned from porn be it a clip, movie or solitary picture, and occasionally some especially mad ramblings on whatever the sites name story bored or forums…I usually just lump them all into the typical stereotype and all of what’s wrongs with most people’s opinions, or expectations, or what they errantly portray to be the lifestyle. It still saddens me upsets me to this very day. But some men get excited at the prospect – with a fair eclectic mix of different scenarios. All some men want is to be that one piece of a jigsaw – and really that’s fair enough if that’s what they want, as opposed to be all the pieces, the bigger picture. You could try correcting them – one or two may come back and surprise you. Your profile is clear and concise I suspect most of your mailers do not read it. Worrying they may be too conditioned to understand it.

needlesandpins -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 7:47:13 AM)
The whole pathetic loser thing makes me want to gag for all the wrong reasons [:'(] I find the male chastity thing just as unappealing. So you're a loser, and pathetic, then why the hell would I want you? You can't leave your dick alone, or stay loyal to me? again, I'd want you why exactly? Your whole experience is based on porn, or 50 shades of Guff, how dull. I know exactly what I want from a man, and it isn't that malarky. Needles

kdsub -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 10:11:37 AM)
On a personal level you have the right to judge someone worthy of your time or not. Hopefully you can be mature enough to be compassionate in your rejection. Calling oneself dominant does not give you anymore rights or stature than those you deem unworthy. They are just looking for something different. We are blessed in this lifestyle that most human idiosyncrasies that are considered depraved by many in the vanilla world are accepted with tolerance here. Perhaps you should develop more tolerance and spend a minute or two politely rejecting suitors… maybe they will learn from it. Butch

TheMistressLucy -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 10:41:49 AM)
On the porn subject... I have a youtube channel with a few videos, I made a couple of videos that youtube would not allow (nothing racy, just a slideshow of male chastity photos) so I figured I would make a profile on xhamster and display them there. The messages I have received on there are so disgusting and selfish, their minds are so full of porn they cannot think clearly. The profile states I am a dominant female and that I am only interested in male chastity, I thought that would put them off but they ignore it and message me like I am a submissive female, even though the videos are femdom related. They make the average Collarspace "do me" member seem sane. If anyone knows of a better adult site to host videos please let me know. (BTW I have nothing against porn, only those who let it affect their every day interactions) (I'm also not complaining about messages I receive, I'm just stating facts)

TheMistressLucy -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 10:46:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub Perhaps you should develop more tolerance and spend a minute or two politely rejecting suitors… maybe they will learn from it. Butch A lot of assumptions there. I did politely reject them for a long time, but it seems to encourage them to carry on the conversation. Not replying seems the best way, although I do politely reply if they have shown they have read my profile and put some effort into their message.

WickedsDesire -> RE: Losers and failures (8/30/2016 10:55:42 AM)
kdsub its profile is clarity - none can ask for more. TheMistressLucy you are allowed to post those links feel free to do so....long as you do not demand gold.

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