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OsideGirl -> RE: Married men (9/21/2016 5:50:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

In this particular thread, it's presented as a "Why don't women want to have sex with me if I'm married?" which was only half the story.


Don't you have something better to do with your life?
You mean like run two companies, serve on the board of directors for a charity, have a happy relationship and run a household?

quote:

My goodness, what's the matter with you? People like you are part of the problem and not the answer.
I can see how you would view having someone call you on your tactics a problem.

quote:

You're misquoting me and continue to show your ignorance!
I didn't quote you, never said I was quoting you and it would have been quite obvious if I had been quoting you (see those handy little boxes that show up?). I was speaking to the general tone of the thread - in which you only gave half the equation.

quote:

Do you actually give helpful advice or are you that pathetic where all you do is bash people?
I actually do give advice and I gave you advice at the beginning of this thread...and then it came out that you had been disingenuous about the true situation.

You have continuously downplayed an incurable STI and lashed out at people that have honestly stated that they would consider it a deal breaker.

So, yeah, feel free to have a temper tantrum when you don't like people pointing out the obvious.







angelikaJ -> RE: Married men (9/21/2016 6:07:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

In this particular thread, it's presented as a "Why don't women want to have sex with me if I'm married?" which was only half the story.


Don't you have something better to do with your life? My goodness, what's the matter with you? People like you are part of the problem and not the answer. At least get the info correct about what I said instead of making up your own than crap. You're misquoting me and continue to show your ignorance! Do you actually give helpful advice or are you that pathetic where all you do is bash people? That's right! You're part of the masters of the collarspace universe, where you give unhelpful, useless advice.
Everyone has an opinion, but not everyone is educated!




I read this thread a couple of times and especially after reading this reply, I now have a different take on it.
Herpes aside, and for that matter, your married status left out of it as well, I think many women might just not fancy you as evidenced by your unpleasantness exhibited on this thread.




Rush30 -> RE: Married men (9/21/2016 6:08:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1


quote:

ORIGINAL: eJohn

Wow. I continue to be amazed by the hostility being shown in this thread. I guess it's considered way better to simply lash out with insults and judgement and turn everyone off than it is to have a clue about what's really going on. Bravo.

Seems to me that it's you that doesn't have a clue. [:-]

The hostility has nothing to do with what OP has done, or declared in his profile - true or not.
Most of it comes from the fact that he makes light of a very serious STI as if it's nothing worse than a common cold.
Perhaps you should re-read the whole thread instead of skimming it.


You continue to show your intolerance and ignorance.
You're the one making HSV to be some horrible life threatening disease. You're the one who is scaring people, you're the one giving out FALSE information. You're part of the uneducated know it alls, who think they know what the hell they're talking about.
Do you know anything about STIs? I know plenty because I keep myself informed, always have.
Even though other STIs are curable, most STIs can have serious long term effects on your health if left untreated for too long. Irreversible damage!!

HSV HAS NO LONG TERM EFFECT ON YOUR HEALTH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!
MOST PEOPLE WILL LIVE THEIR LIVES WITHOUT EVER KNOWING THEY HAVE IT!
MOST PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEY HAVE IT WILL NEVER HAVE SYMPTOMS OR AN OUTBREAK!

You are part of the problem, not the answer on this site. You're opinionated but uneducated.
You hide behind your computer, bashing people who came here to find guidance, help and support. All you gave was unhelpful, useless, hostile, rude and just downright mean and negitive opinions. It's no wonder you live your life behind a computer screen.






angelikaJ -> RE: Married men (9/21/2016 6:26:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30


quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1


quote:

ORIGINAL: eJohn

Wow. I continue to be amazed by the hostility being shown in this thread. I guess it's considered way better to simply lash out with insults and judgement and turn everyone off than it is to have a clue about what's really going on. Bravo.

Seems to me that it's you that doesn't have a clue. [:-]

The hostility has nothing to do with what OP has done, or declared in his profile - true or not.
Most of it comes from the fact that he makes light of a very serious STI as if it's nothing worse than a common cold.
Perhaps you should re-read the whole thread instead of skimming it.


You continue to show your intolerance and ignorance.
You're the one making HSV to be some horrible life threatening disease. You're the one who is scaring people, you're the one giving out FALSE information. You're part of the uneducated know it alls, who think they know what the hell they're talking about.
Do you know anything about STIs? I know plenty because I keep myself informed, always have.
Even though other STIs are curable, most STIs can have serious long term effects on your health if left untreated for too long. Irreversible damage!!

HSV HAS NO LONG TERM EFFECT ON YOUR HEALTH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!
MOST PEOPLE WILL LIVE THEIR LIVES WITHOUT EVER KNOWING THEY HAVE IT!
MOST PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEY HAVE IT WILL NEVER HAVE SYMPTOMS OR AN OUTBREAK!

You are part of the problem, not the answer on this site. You're opinionated but uneducated.
You hide behind your computer, bashing people who came here to find guidance, help and support. All you gave was unhelpful, useless, hostile, rude and just downright mean and negitive opinions. It's no wonder you live your life behind a computer screen.





Then I hope you are staying away from all pre-menopausal women, because the risks to neonates can be serious:
http://www.aafp.org/afp/2002/0315/p1138.html
http://www.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/herpes-simplex/possible-complications.html




freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Married men (9/21/2016 7:04:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
You continue to show your intolerance and ignorance.

Intolerance, yes. Ignorance, no.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
You're the one making HSV to be some horrible life threatening disease.

Where have I ever said it was a life-threatening disease??
I didn't. I said it was life-long disease, not life-threatening.
But it IS horrible, unpleasant, and there is NO cure for it.
And no fucker intentionally wants it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
You're the one who is scaring people, you're the one giving out FALSE information. You're part of the uneducated know it alls, who think they know what the hell they're talking about.

Ok numbnuts, show me where I've said anything that is false.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
Do you know anything about STIs? I know plenty because I keep myself informed, always have.
Even though other STIs are curable, most STIs can have serious long term effects on your health if left untreated for too long. Irreversible damage!!

Quite true! I never said anything different.
Most STI's are curable with no further damage than they already have.
That's NOT true for herpes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
HSV HAS NO LONG TERM EFFECT ON YOUR HEALTH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!

Bullshit!!!
Got a cite for that??
Coz everything I read said there was - and there is NO cure for it.
And when you have an outbreak, niether you nor anyone else knows about it.
Yeah, fucking right.... NOT!!

You also fail to mention that in some cases, people can get complications from HSV such as -
1) Bell's palsy;
2) can reactivate in the eye requiring specialist treatment;
3) encephalitis; if untreated, it may leave damage.
Although rare, can happen.

Herpes is not such an innocent little STI as you make it out to be.
For some unfortunate people, it can be quite serious.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
MOST PEOPLE WILL LIVE THEIR LIVES WITHOUT EVER KNOWING THEY HAVE IT!

Only if they aren't careful and never get checked.
Most sexually active people get checked.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
MOST PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEY HAVE IT WILL NEVER HAVE SYMPTOMS OR AN OUTBREAK!

Got a reliable cite for that??
Again, I've not seen anything to back that opinion up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
You are part of the problem, not the answer on this site. You're opinionated but uneducated.

And who is saying it is insignificant and playing it down. Huh??
I'm letting people know that it is an incurable disease.
It puts a complete block on all sexual fluid-exchange activities unless you are willingly spreading it.
You could also end up taking anti-virals for life as a result of getting it.
That's a pretty big no-no for most sexually active people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
You hide behind your computer, bashing people who came here to find guidance, help and support. All you gave was unhelpful, useless, hostile, rude and just downright mean and negitive opinions. It's no wonder you live your life behind a computer screen.

I don't hide at all.
I gave legit reasons why it should NOT be played down and everyone should be aware of it.
It was helpful, useful, factual, and positive.

I can't help it if you see it as a minor irritation.
Most people won't go near it with someone-else's barge pole!

You were utterly wrong to play it down as if it were nothing more than a common cold.
And I will continue to oppose the ignorant and deceitful people who think it is nothing.




DocStrange -> RE: Married men (9/21/2016 7:45:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30

HSV HAS NO LONG TERM EFFECT ON YOUR HEALTH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!



Not true. HSV can and does have complications. For pregnant women it can be fatal to their unborn child (neonatal herpes). It can also lead to encephalitis or keratitis or cause other infections to become severe.

Just because you have not had an issue with it does not mean other people will not. Get the facts:
http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs400/en/




Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Married men (9/21/2016 8:55:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30

HSV HAS NO LONG TERM EFFECT ON YOUR HEALTH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!



Not true. HSV can and does have complications. For pregnant women it can be fatal to their unborn child (neonatal herpes). It can also lead to encephalitis or keratitis or cause other infections to become severe.

Just because you have not had an issue with it does not mean other people will not. Get the facts:
http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs400/en/


And cervical cancer. Let's not forget cancer




OsideGirl -> RE: Married men (9/21/2016 9:09:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30

HSV HAS NO LONG TERM EFFECT ON YOUR HEALTH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!



Not true. HSV can and does have complications. For pregnant women it can be fatal to their unborn child (neonatal herpes). It can also lead to encephalitis or keratitis or cause other infections to become severe.

Just because you have not had an issue with it does not mean other people will not. Get the facts:
http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs400/en/


And cervical cancer. Let's not forget cancer


That's HPV




Danemora -> RE: Married men (9/21/2016 11:49:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
HSV HAS NO LONG TERM EFFECT ON YOUR HEALTH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!
MOST PEOPLE WILL LIVE THEIR LIVES WITHOUT EVER KNOWING THEY HAVE IT!
MOST PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEY HAVE IT WILL NEVER HAVE SYMPTOMS OR AN OUTBREAK!


You said you take daily antiviral medication for your HSV2, right? Those drugs that you have to take every single day of your life happen to all be side effect free? Because if they aren't all certified 100% side effect free, sounds like that could present a long term health problem directly linked to HSV2.

Also an HSV2 infected individual faces a two- to three-fold increased risk of contracting HIV even with healed genital lesions after an outbreak. Kind of seems like a HUGE fucking long term effect on a person's health to most folks who don't downplay a lifelong chronic infection. If you like links, here you go: National Institute of Health

If a person has a compromised immune system for any number of reasons, their HSV2 can trigger more frequent and severe outbreaks and can experience complications because of their herpes. That seems like a pretty big deal to someone who isn't woefully in denial. If you like links, here ya go: University of Maryland Medical Center

Let's also not forget about the stigma you eluded to in your other post regarding herpes over in the Health section. I imagine it's a pretty big hit from a social, psychological, and emotional standpoint. Which can have an overall negative effect on a person's health.

Do try next time not to trivialize it so much. I'm not saying it's the end of the world, but it's not a case of the sniffles either.




longwayhome -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 1:05:02 AM)

I wasn't going to comment on any of this because my initial thought was, if someone is being honest and open, who am I to judge their personal morality. And then the unpleasantness of the thread developed.........

If you are a middle-aged married man with an incurable STI and you are incapable of fully understanding that those facts are going to make people very cautious at the very least, then you are going to be surprised or disappointed by people's reactions. Just on the STI issue alone, HSV is going to be an issue for people because, although you can live with it, there are symptoms and complications. Many would be willing to take the risks for a long term relationship, but not to have sex with a married man.

No matter what is on offer or whether your wife approves, the greater issue would appear to be your lack of empathy with the concerns of others (and perhaps a nagging sense that women get away with things that you can't). That can't help when you are trying to sell yourself in a world where there are available single men, many of whom are younger, unattached and disease free. That's even before you become all frustrated and start having a go at those who don't share you views.

In terms of getting the play you want in your life, you at least have to realise that you have one hand tied behind your back. Being open and honest is all very well but it doesn't guarantee any particular outcome. That may be frustrating for you, but it is your success in being able to play with women other than your wife we are talking about here, not your employment rights.




NookieNotes -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 2:46:17 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
HSV HAS NO LONG TERM EFFECT ON YOUR HEALTH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!

Bullshit!!!
Got a cite for that??
Coz everything I read said there was - and there is NO cure for it.
And when you have an outbreak, niether you nor anyone else knows about it.
Yeah, fucking right.... NOT!!

You also fail to mention that in some cases, people can get complications from HSV such as -
1) Bell's palsy;
2) can reactivate in the eye requiring specialist treatment;
3) encephalitis; if untreated, it may leave damage.
Although rare, can happen.


Oh, and having genital sores increases your risk of transmitting or contracting other sexually transmitted infections, including AIDS. It's dangerous to babies born to mothers with herpes. It can cause severe bladder problems. It can lead to Meningitis in rare cases. It can cause rectal issues. It contributes to constipation. If it's accidentally transmitted to the eyes, it can cause blindness.

And, of course, there is the social stigma. Which is being shown very clearly here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
MOST PEOPLE WILL LIVE THEIR LIVES WITHOUT EVER KNOWING THEY HAVE IT!

Only if they aren't careful and never get checked.
Most sexually active people get checked.


Actually, that's not 100% true. Many sexually active people do get checked, but don't realize that many panels don't include herpes tests.

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
MOST PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEY HAVE IT WILL NEVER HAVE SYMPTOMS OR AN OUTBREAK!

Got a reliable cite for that??
Again, I've not seen anything to back that opinion up.


https://www.verywell.com/could-i-have-genital-herpes-and-not-know-it-3132936

A simple google search finds quite a bit of information on this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
You were utterly wrong to play it down as if it were nothing more than a common cold.


Agreed.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Danemora

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
HSV HAS NO LONG TERM EFFECT ON YOUR HEALTH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!
MOST PEOPLE WILL LIVE THEIR LIVES WITHOUT EVER KNOWING THEY HAVE IT!
MOST PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEY HAVE IT WILL NEVER HAVE SYMPTOMS OR AN OUTBREAK!


You said you take daily antiviral medication for your HSV2, right? Those drugs that you have to take every single day of your life happen to all be side effect free? Because if they aren't all certified 100% side effect free, sounds like that could present a long term health problem directly linked to HSV2.


Found this: https://www.google.com/search?q=HSV+antiviral+side+effects&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

Older adults may be more sensitive to the side effects of the drug, especially kidney problems (change in the amount of urine, back/side pain), dizziness, drowsiness, and mental/mood changes (such as confusion, hallucinations, loss of consciousness).

There is more.

quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome
No matter what is on offer or whether your wife approves, the greater issue would appear to be your lack of empathy with the concerns of others (and perhaps a nagging sense that women get away with things that you can't).


This. Acrimony and bitterness are never attractive.




LadyPact -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 6:16:26 AM)

This thread has really gone around the bend.

OP, this is a pretty simple thing. Any person has the right to have their own boundaries about who they will or will not play with/be intimate with for any reason. It doesn't matter if you think that reason is invalid, based on lack of education, or anything else. They are allowed to base their yes or no answer about playing with you on anything they want. Whether that's your marital status, your HSV status, or something else entirely. It's not supposed to be some deal where a person tells you no and the follow up goes something like, "let me tell you how minor this is so that you'll say yes".

I'm just really not seeing the how ok you are that some people aren't comfortable with your status on this thread that you say in your profile. If that were really the case, I don't think this thread (and the other one) would have become all of this.




WhoreMods -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 7:48:27 AM)

I think it's a mix of the OP's rather aggressive sense of entitlement, and his getting butthurt with people who are misguided enough to believe that herpes is a little more serious than nasty cold. He clearly believes that if his wife humours him over this, then everybody else is obliged to as well and anybody who says that HSV is a hard limit is picking on him and being unreasonable.




NookieNotes -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 8:11:55 AM)

I think there are two sides to this.

The OP is being too aggressive trying to get his way.

Others are using pejorative words and sharing inaccurate information in defending their points.

This becomes a cycle when they respond to each other.




Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 8:27:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30

HSV HAS NO LONG TERM EFFECT ON YOUR HEALTH WHATSOEVER!!!!!!



Not true. HSV can and does have complications. For pregnant women it can be fatal to their unborn child (neonatal herpes). It can also lead to encephalitis or keratitis or cause other infections to become severe.

Just because you have not had an issue with it does not mean other people will not. Get the facts:
http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs400/en/


And cervical cancer. Let's not forget cancer


That's HPV


And HSV
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.webmd.com/genital-herpes/news/20021105/herpes-virus-linked-to-cervical-cancer.html?client=ms-android-att-us
"The herpes-2 virus is among several factors that work in conjunction with HPV in boosting cervical cancer risk."

HPV with HSV2 increases cervical cancer risk.






eJohn -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 11:28:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

Seems to me that it's you that doesn't have a clue. [:-]

The hostility has nothing to do with what OP has done, or declared in his profile - true or not.
Most of it comes from the fact that he makes light of a very serious STI as if it's nothing worse than a common cold.
Perhaps you should re-read the whole thread instead of skimming it.



Really?? Since when is HSV2 "a very serious STI"?? One in five people are HAV2 positive and 85% of the people that have it DON'T KNOW THAT THEY HAVE IT. It seems pretty contradictory to call it "a very serious STI" when nearly everyone that has it don't even know they have it. And, actually, it's very much *less* of an issue than the common cold. Colds are far more contagious than HSV is and most people catch colds far more often than people with HSV have outbreaks.

You can freak out about if it makes you happy, but I don't see the point.




Danemora -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 11:49:21 AM)

So...

Are you OP's left or right sock?




longwayhome -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 1:02:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This thread has really gone around the bend.

OP, this is a pretty simple thing. Any person has the right to have their own boundaries about who they will or will not play with/be intimate with for any reason. It doesn't matter if you think that reason is invalid, based on lack of education, or anything else. They are allowed to base their yes or no answer about playing with you on anything they want. Whether that's your marital status, your HSV status, or something else entirely. It's not supposed to be some deal where a person tells you no and the follow up goes something like, "let me tell you how minor this is so that you'll say yes".

I'm just really not seeing the how ok you are that some people aren't comfortable with your status on this thread that you say in your profile. If that were really the case, I don't think this thread (and the other one) would have become all of this.




quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

I think it's a mix of the OP's rather aggressive sense of entitlement, and his getting butthurt with people who are misguided enough to believe that herpes is a little more serious than nasty cold. He clearly believes that if his wife humours him over this, then everybody else is obliged to as well and anybody who says that HSV is a hard limit is picking on him and being unreasonable.



I agree with both of these points of view.

The OP's personal morality is certainly his own business, and from that point of view I have no personal problem with his preference for more than one partner or that fact that the poor sod has HSV. If he can find partners who are comfortable with that (and I'm sure he can if he has the patience) then I am very happy for him, but it has to based on honesty and an appreciation of other people's own boundaries.

The challenges of the OP's situation will of course to an extent limit his ability to find appropriate partners. That is a shame for him but, while some other's have been a bit judgemental, he has hardly helped himself in his responses. WhoreMods has it spot on though in terms of the OP's "rather aggressive sense of entitlement".

It's not so much his freedom to live his life as he sees fit, but the level of annoyance he has expressed both with other people's concerns and the fact that they may have equally justifiable personal positions.




MariaB -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 1:15:18 PM)

I love Ted Talks, I'm in the TT's group on FL and this is a recent one that was put up...

STI's aren't a consequence. They are inevitable. Ella Dawson

Some great responses on FL. I hope people on here will watch it.




eJohn -> RE: Married men (9/22/2016 7:10:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Danemora

So...

Are you OP's left or right sock?


Do you attack all the posters here? Or just the ones that talk over your head?




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