I am a submissive

I am a submissive (Full Version)

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Gauge -> I am a submissive (9/21/2016 10:30:04 PM)
I just realized that I am a submissive. I just had this conversation with my cat: Alley: Meow. Meeeeowwww. Meow! Me: Your fucking bowl is full you furry shitbag. Alley: Meoooweeee! Me: You see the bottom of your bowl and I am abusive because I do not feed you? Alley: Meeeeeeeeowey. Me: (Trying to use logic) Your bowl is metal. If I move one piece of food you cannot see the bottom of your bowl. Which means that your bowl is mostly full. Fuck off. Alley: (She is laying down and winking at me... and looking sad) **silence** Me: Listen you cunt, you have food. I took you from starving to a well attended critter. You should be thankful. Alley: Meooooooooooooooooowwww???? Me: Awww, fuck you. Alley: Purrrrrrrbt? Me: (I give her more) OK, OK, OK, OK, fine.... you want food, you have the fucking food but you want to not see the bottom of your bowl. Fuck you you little shit. You mindless hairy cunt. Alley: Purrrrrbt? Me: Bitch please. Alley: Meow? Me: I give the fuck up. ( I fill the bowl.) Alley: PurrrrrbbbbbttttMeowlf!!!! Me: You're an asshole.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 10:32:39 PM)
So far, I understand what you're saying there Gauge but I just don't understand the problem ( snigger, snigger, snigger !!)

Gauge -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 10:36:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874 So far, I understand what you're saying there Gauge but I just don't understand the problem ( snigger, snigger, snigger !!) You're a cat... aren't you? You are not Hans at all.

jlf1961 -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 10:38:08 PM)
I am sorry that you have come under the control of the evil alien species that has invaded your planet. I have proof they are indeed alien. Look at the domestic cat's eyes, and the slit pupils. Now, look at a large predatory cat, rounded pupils. Two entirely different eye structures, indicating that the house cat did not come from the large predatory cats. The parent species is actually native to the Kzinti homeworld. We have repeatedly tried to warn you of the impending full scale invasion, using various members of the science fiction writing community to no avail. So, when the Kzinti invade, prepare to become a lower member of the food chain. It is unfortunate that we of the Illuminati cannot act to prevent this, since we feel that defending a species that is destined to be slaves is rather unrewarding. Of course, should humans defeat the Kzinti warriors, we might elevate your future status from slaves to cannon fodder. My species could never consider your race equals due to the mistreatment of our distant genetic cousins, creatures your kind refer to as wolves.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 10:39:56 PM)
Cats have paws.............they don't have hans

Gauge -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 10:51:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 I am sorry that you have come under the control of the evil alien species that has invaded your planet. I have proof they are indeed alien. Look at the domestic cat's eyes, and the slit pupils. Now, look at a large predatory cat, rounded pupils. Two entirely different eye structures, indicating that the house cat did not come from the large predatory cats. The parent species is actually native to the Kzinti homeworld. We have repeatedly tried to warn you of the impending full scale invasion, using various members of the science fiction writing community to no avail. So, when the Kzinti invade, prepare to become a lower member of the food chain. It is unfortunate that we of the Illuminati cannot act to prevent this, since we feel that defending a species that is destined to be slaves is rather unrewarding. Of course, should humans defeat the Kzinti warriors, we might elevate your future status from slaves to cannon fodder. My species could never consider your race equals due to the mistreatment of our distant genetic cousins, creatures your kind refer to as wolves. Alley here, look you, we know where you live, and sleep. Therefore we will weed you out, and those like you that see through our guise as small, cute, even, adorable creatures. We took over your internet, we even have our own line of clothing. Your race is over. I just killed Gauge. HA!!! I say again... HA! To all beings, I am an innocent, cute, cuddly, feline. To law enforcement, I am the same thing. I am coming for you. Me and that fucking dancing banana. (scuffle) Gau.... (scuffle) Ga***...## (lots of what appears to be bludgeoning going on) Ahem... Gauge here... disregard my cat. She had low blood sugar. I'm fine. (beating sounds going on... screams and meows included) No, reall.... (more beating and meowing) Resistance is futile. We will assimilate you, if you haz food.

Gauge -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 10:54:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874 Cats have paws.............they don't have hans Bitch, I have opposable... wait... no... hold on.... new information coming in... Hans is an asshole. He is not a clock, he is a cock... a dick if I may and a bad one at that. (scuffle and loud breaking sounds...) Ahem... HANS!!!!

Dvr22999874 -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 11:01:44 PM)
More clocks and more wells is/are the answer.......................what was the question again ?

Gauge -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 11:05:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874 More clocks and more wells is/are the answer.......................what was the question again ? Alley here... Oh you are cute. Let me ask you something smart guy... when I am wearing your skin as a prize, shall I shit or piss on you to prove that your hands are Hans?! HAAAAAAANNNNNNNNSSSSS!!!!! Your opposable thumbs do fuckall for me. Your internal organs though do hold some interest.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 11:09:56 PM)
Me ? Internal organs ? A (now deceased) bloke in Africa once told me I had no guts, so you'll go hungry looking for mine

Dvr22999874 -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 11:13:45 PM)
and clocks don't play organs. they have chimes and HANDS

Gauge -> RE: I am a submissive (9/21/2016 11:17:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874 Me ? Internal organs ? A (now deceased) bloke in Africa once told me I had no guts, so you'll go hungry looking for mine All... (scuffle and terrible rending of flesh and bone sounds) Alley here... (scuffle) Gau... (scuffle... unimaginable sounds that you could not imagine even if you were the most adept imaginer that has ever imagined shit...) Hi. Which only proves you do, in fact, have internal organs. I wish to dine. (scuffle) Gaug.... (scuffle) (clearly) GODDAMMIT!!!!! (not so clearly but yet perceptively audible...) Purrrrrbbbbbttttt meowllllllpht? Anyway, where were we?

Tangelo -> RE: I am a submissive (9/22/2016 4:59:16 AM)
If you carry on like that, scaring the cat and other readers, you will finish up like Jlf1961 prophesised. . as cannon fodder, . so please be careful. The RSPCA may also be watching. Beware !

Alecta -> RE: I am a submissive (9/22/2016 8:15:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge Alley: Meow. Meeeeowwww. Meow! Me: Your fucking bowl is full you furry shitbag. I'm now 89% sure you are, in fact, my cousin Nathan. Hello Nathan. lol

dcnovice -> RE: I am a submissive (9/22/2016 10:14:22 AM)
FR Fascinating book on human submission to felines: https://smile.amazon.com/Lion-Living-Room-House-Tamed/dp/1476738238/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474564382&sr=8-1&keywords=the+lion+in+the+living+room

longwayhome -> RE: I am a submissive (9/22/2016 4:02:10 PM)
Hey it's always the ones who protest the loudest. The cat's got you licked. You are a sub, after all. You only claim Dom status as an elaborate cover up. All hail the small furry animal with the superior psychological knowledge and social skills. They're not lying in wait to take over the world - they already did. That's why as a sub I don't let them in the house. I can only be trusted with a dog. [:D]

OsideGirl -> RE: I am a submissive (9/22/2016 4:05:11 PM)
[image]http://quotes.yourdictionary.com/image/quote/17472.jpeg[/image]

Tangelo -> RE: I am a submissive (9/22/2016 8:58:35 PM)
Weren't they also worshipped for making pretty good tennis racquets ? ?

jlf1961 -> RE: I am a submissive (9/22/2016 9:08:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tangelo Weren't they also worshipped for making pretty good tennis racquets ? ? A material used for surgical sutures, for the strings of violins and related instruments, and for the strings of tennis rackets and archery bows, catgut (also called gut) is made from the intestines of animals, particularly sheep.

Tangelo -> RE: I am a submissive (9/22/2016 9:31:51 PM)
I thought cats WERE animals ? ?

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