NookieNotes
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Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
It isn't your thread. You don't get to tell people who comment what they can and can't say. You don't get to control them in any way. If you want that, then start your own site.
In the meantime I suggest you read the TOS.
Ummm. You're talking to me?
Where did I tell people what they can and cannot say? Or try to control them? I have literally zero interest in that. I would think you would know that about me.
All I did was state my opinion on other opinions and say what I personally do. Just as I'm pretty sure forums are for. And if you read my post as LadyPact did, well, my apologies.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Potential trigger warning.
quote:
ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
I think it's utter shite. It's exclusionary and smacks of high school.
I go out of my way to teach people to interact better. I WANT people to learn how to connect with others. Most humans can only be their best human selves in connection with other humans they can learn from and grow with.
Give them the chance.
Many will not take it. And that's OK.
But to suggest that some people do not "deserve" to learn how to interact successfully? Ugh! What horrible snootiness. For shame.
I completely disagree with you and I've even got some reasons as to why I believe differently that you.
Awesome!
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Some of them just CHOOSE not to act the same way they would in the real world because hey, it's the internet.
Agreed.
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When they get that stuff, no, I'm not going to encourage them to try to "teach them how to interact better". I'd rather see them report those type of emails to the site rather than try to interact with them because when those guys get a response, they keep doing it.
Oh. No. You misunderstand my point ENTIRELY. TOTALLY. COMPLETELY.
I am not telling others to teach people to interact. Not at all. I have OFTEN stood up for women doing exactly as they choose, and avoiding the abuse that comes from even saying, "No, thank you."
I said I go out of my way to teach people. I did not, nor would I ever prescribe this as a behavior for others.
Because I've moderated this site, Fet, Literotica, and I've built and hosted other adult sites of various types. I know EXACTLY the hijinks that go on in the background.
What I did was say that I think that those who think "assholes" (and therefor others online, because you can't filter out the assholes) should not have access to information on how to behave on the internet are snobs. I'll add to that, though.
They may just be not thinking things through. They may not realize the slippery slope of their statement. It just comes across as elitist.
And another thing I will add. When you said:
quote:
But, that's not the real story because the guys who send that crud via email are not living in an internet vacuum. High majority of the time, men DO know how to interact with women, start conversations, etc because men are our co-workers, neighbors, fellow participants in our kink communities, the guys who initiate conversations while standing in line at the grocery store and every other place that men and women interact in the face to face world.
I think you are wrong.
Yes, I know many of these men know how to interact with women in real life, although, truthfully, MANY do not.
Even that set aside, online IS a vacuum of sorts.
It's like when training dogs, if you only train them to sit when they are inside, they will not necessarily link that to knowing how to sit outside. It's situational.
Humans do the same thing.
For many, there is "online" and "real life." And they DO have vastly different rules. It's not just men. It's women, too. If you've never moderated an adult chat with D/s, Gor and the like, I highly suggest it someday. Or, look at those who are most often successful at catfishing. LOTS of women at that, who would NEVER dream of lying like that where they could see the faces of the people they are lying to, or read their body language.
Often, these men get online ready to live out their fantasies, and they think that women are online as well, for the same thing, with the same fantasies. It can be quite the shock of ice water when it doesn't work out for them. They literally cannot comprehend.
And they are perfectly nice guys elsewhere. They just really, literally, don't know how to behave online, and in the myriad of situations presented to them by the many different sites and chats and vids and whatever. Nuance is difficult for many to grasp.
quote:
The discussions about emails that we have on the forums are always interesting. However, it's not often that it's the male members of the forums who actually NEED the pointers on how to send decent emails. A high percentage of the male Dominant forum participants are actually really nice guys. The problem tends to be that the other guys screw it up for them.
I know this. I hope I've clarified for you.
And may I say, thank you for being rational. I love that about your posts. Always. *smiles*
< Message edited by NookieNotes -- 9/28/2016 2:49:55 AM >
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