RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (Full Version)

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ohthat1percent -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 12:58:56 PM)

SO FOR YOU it's not about sex. Your post implies that BDSM in and of itself is not about fucking -- when for MANY it is.

As someone who claims to have years of experience.

So do you want a bozo button because you don't like fucking and see it as something people shouldn't "dirty" the beloved BDSM with? However you do get TURNED on, so you do like part of what sex is all about, if you don't like the physical release of being turned on with another person and fucking -- actually I feel kind of bad for you.

Your last statement is WAY out there in attempting to make it appear that subs who hook up for play and fucking are somehow what -- not sub enough for you? Good grief.

All in all, you don't like the physical act of sex -- which many refer to as fucking. So that tells me you either don't fuck - which you have my condolences and is a form of control or you "sacrifice" yourself to being used by a guy and feel disgust for what he is doing to you all the while, which is a MAJOR form of control.

Serving a dom sexually is part of a lot of submissives lives -- and they enjoy serving that way.

It always cracks me up when people get so puranical about sex.





Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 1:06:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

ugh BDSM isn't about hooking up with someone to fuck them

I wasn't implying it was.



Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 1:08:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ohthat1percent

SO FOR YOU it's not about sex. Your post implies that BDSM in and of itself is not about fucking -- when for MANY it is.

As someone who claims to have years of experience.

So do you want a bozo button because you don't like fucking and see it as something people shouldn't "dirty" the beloved BDSM with? However you do get TURNED on, so you do like part of what sex is all about, if you don't like the physical release of being turned on with another person and fucking -- actually I feel kind of bad for you.

Your last statement is WAY out there in attempting to make it appear that subs who hook up for play and fucking are somehow what -- not sub enough for you? Good grief.

All in all, you don't like the physical act of sex -- which many refer to as fucking. So that tells me you either don't fuck - which you have my condolences and is a form of control or you "sacrifice" yourself to being used by a guy and feel disgust for what he is doing to you all the while, which is a MAJOR form of control.

Serving a dom sexually is part of a lot of submissives lives -- and they enjoy serving that way.

It always cracks me up when people get so puranical about sex.





*******Round of applause*****



ThundersCry2U -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 1:21:40 PM)

Overrated, just like respect is.

But hey, that's only MY opinion.

Personal relationships are hard. They take time, and lots and lots of communication and work.

I`ve never found it REAL easy to open up and become vulnerable and raw with someone quickly.

Have I? Yes, a few times in my life. For the most part a huge mistake on my part.

Boundaries....

Welcome to...life.

I don't need lots of friends. I treasure the ones I have.

NOW...play is very different...oh wait, you did not ask for comments in THAT area!!!



ohthat1percent -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 1:26:19 PM)

haha, no I didn't ask in that area -- why? Because in my mind they are two separate areas of life -- i.e., one relationship based and one play based -- and there are different things that need considering for each. It could very well be a good discussion as many people would probably get involved with their own ideas of how to, whys, whens, and safety yadda yadda -- why not start a thread regarding trust from that aspect.



ThundersCry2U -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 2:38:37 PM)

Because I`m still, and have been pondering on this thread...

Besides, your doing quite well with the threads you start...

Just don`t get `em to riled...

Cuz I'm enjoyin` that...




Greta75 -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 2:55:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
The concept "trust" is at its most useful when you cannot predict another person's behaviour, but you believe that that behaviour will meet certain criteria.

I can never trust anybody who is not predictable. How will I know he will meet certain criteria if he is not predictable? He gotta be predictable for me to know he will meet certain criteria.

Of course if the predictable behaviour are often negative behaviours, that works against trust too.

But I guess in this context, we are referring to behaviours that you find positive.



WickedsDesire -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 3:10:48 PM)

The only verified person on here is me. Behold less



ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 5:12:37 PM)

quote:

ugh BDSM isn't about hooking up with someone to fuck them

Oh? It may not be for you, but it is for some.
quote:

that says it all, I'm an old fashioned slave with old fashioned values. I have had 22 years of Bondage/Discipline/Domination/submission/sadomasochisim, I get my kicks from serving a Dominant I trust and sex disgusts me, I guess I'm not interested in grabbing a guy off the internet and begging him to tell me what to do in the bedroom. but I guess that's what the modern day world of submission is fuck me master more more, do it harder master I'm the submissive and I need to tell you what to do to make me happy not you.

Oh, do explain the One True Way to us poor uninformed types.



Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 6:58:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

ugh BDSM isn't about hooking up with someone to fuck them

Oh? It may not be for you, but it is for some.
quote:

that says it all, I'm an old fashioned slave with old fashioned values. I have had 22 years of Bondage/Discipline/Domination/submission/sadomasochisim, I get my kicks from serving a Dominant I trust and sex disgusts me, I guess I'm not interested in grabbing a guy off the internet and begging him to tell me what to do in the bedroom. but I guess that's what the modern day world of submission is fuck me master more more, do it harder master I'm the submissive and I need to tell you what to do to make me happy not you.

Oh, do explain the One True Way to us poor uninformed types.

So I'm not the only one who gets annoyed by Lily's constant bragging



ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 9:55:01 PM)

Oh no, she doesn't annoy me with her bragging, just the one true wayism. It annoys me when somebody gets all subbier than thou or tries to define what is and is not acceptable in terms of BDSM.



Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 10:06:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

Oh no, she doesn't annoy me with her bragging, just the one true wayism. It annoys me when somebody gets all subbier than thou or tries to define what is and is not acceptable in terms of BDSM.

That's more what I mean, I just didn't know how to put it in a nicer way. :)

The way she puts down "newbys" and then inevitably gives some example of how she knows better how to do things is what gets under my skin. But I don't think about it outside this board so it's not a big deal at the end of the day.



Dvr22999874 -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 10:51:24 PM)

you have heard the old saying ? "I used to be conceited but now I'm perfect". That seems to apply to her at times *smile*



Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 11:01:07 PM)

:p I've never heard that one before, but I like it!



Dvr22999874 -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/8/2016 11:15:36 PM)

It's yours then *smile*. My generosity knows no bounds !! *smile*.



Awareness -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/9/2016 2:40:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Trust is nothing more than the belief that a person's behaviour is predictable.

Deifying it is nonsensical.

Well dang. If that's true, then no one can be trusted.

Well given the amount of FUCKING whining in the kink community about consent violations, I'd say my view is reasonably close to reality.



Awareness -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/9/2016 2:48:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Trust is nothing more than the belief that a person's behaviour is predictable.

Deifying it is nonsensical.


I think this is a pretty poor definition of "trust". The concept "trust" is at its most useful when you cannot predict another person's behaviour, but you believe that that behaviour will meet certain criteria.
A) How is that useful?

B) How is that not a belief in the predictability of someone's behaviour?

I think you're engaging in vague hand-waving here to avoid a definition that's more stark than you'd like. The very definition of trust uses words such as "reliability" and "confidence". Pretending it's something mystical seems somewhat counterproductive.

quote:


Yes, you can loosely apply "trust" to predictability - for example some posters on this forum can be "trusted" to behave in a certain way, but I'd argue that that is a slightly contrived application of the term "trust".
No, I don't think so. When someone says, "I trust you", what they're actually saying is, "I believe you are predictable in regards to my welfare and desires". This is merely the default assumption when people speak about "trust" between two parties, but the concept of trust equating to a belief in the predictability of someone's behaviour still applies, regardless of the specific usage.



WickedsDesire -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/9/2016 2:51:37 PM)

Less has spoken and their numbers legion
so be it



Awareness -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/9/2016 2:55:42 PM)

There is only I.

Perceive the fullness of the Void...... and the Emptiness of Ten Thousand Things.



Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Do you think "trust" is overrated (10/9/2016 5:57:16 PM)

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?



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