quote:

ORIGINAL: ohthat1percent

Oh good grief. Seriously you are going to continue your bitch fest.

I am sure when you came forward you weren't acting like a cunt towards the people. So it's all relevant


And you didn't approach me in my office you started attacking me on a message board about one thing and then switched over to another thing. i guess my organizational skills at keeping what you are bitching about straight has failed me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ohthat1percent

Then quit acting like a bitch and simply explain. I see words that bother me casually thrown around all the time on here. But I'm not a hypocrite to bitch at people about them while being casually myself about other words.

You aren't making anything better because if I really wanted to be the bitch you were being, I would have left it. It didn't dawn on me what the fuck you were bitching about until I finally asked the question I did. It seems you have missed I also dealt with a stalker. I don't intentionally want to harm people and as words are casually used here I couldn't remotely begin to think the word I used would affect you. Care to provide a list so everyone is clear what words can and can't be used on here because you don't like them?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaska


Creature of 1D existence in a state of fog.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaska


Do not ask the 1D mentality to define who you are. Go to the 3D world find and define yourself, have I not told you this before.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaska


Do not ask the 1D mentality to define who you are. Go to the 3D world find and define yourself, have I not told you this before.

You probably did. I apologize for not listening. My 3D world is a bit over complicated right now.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaska

Since the mistake was yours in not clarifying, then it's you that owes the apology.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

I am the only verified man on here, and there are no others it is difficult to embrace there lies but let me name them all

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: ohthat1percent

Then quit acting like a bitch and simply explain. I see words that bother me casually thrown around all the time on here. But I'm not a hypocrite to bitch at people about them while being casually myself about other words.

You aren't making anything better because if I really wanted to be the bitch you were being, I would have left it. It didn't dawn on me what the fuck you were bitching about until I finally asked the question I did. It seems you have missed I also dealt with a stalker. I don't intentionally want to harm people and as words are casually used here I couldn't remotely begin to think the word I used would affect you. Care to provide a list so everyone is clear what words can and can't be used on here because you don't like them?

Really? How many years?

How many of your children called you terrified?

"Cause, I don't equate that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ohthat1percent
Good god you want to play one up as to whether or not my situation was more or less than yours? Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you- you are sick. Seriously sick. Want to compare and contrast abuse and rape as well that was part of it to make sure you remain top bitch?

You seriously are sick not to mention disgusting. You may get your jolly's that way but I have not only been a victim, but I've also worked with many victims in the legal system and outside of same who don't need assholes like YOU around, who sees this as a game to be won. I truly hope you aren't in any support groups or around any victims because your game of oh yours can't possibly be as bad as mine is disgusting.

I am seriously wanting to call bullshit on your "victim" status but I've been around victims in all ways enough to know -- even assholes who see this as a one up game -- deal with it in their own way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
So here you are with various people telling you you’re not submissive or at least they can't see any submission in you and it bothers you. You allow people to insult you, make accusations about you and you submit to their supposed better knowledge. Some people who have added to this thread should know better, others have just been handing out the same old shite for years and have never been able to give an impartial view. Maybe its something to do with their own self importance but one things for sure, if you hang out with a patronizing 'one up-man-ship' crowd for too long you will get little out of this lifestyle and you may even end up like them (telling anyone who will listen that they are doing it all wrong).

quote:



For f^ck's sake...

With my apologies to the OP, no, FOR ME, the OP would not be a good match as a submissive. For me, I don't do clingy well and I don't do needy well. I most certainly DO NOT do well with folks on the other side of the slash attempting to interfere in my other relationships, and I really have only so much tolerance for "acting out". TO ME, that is not submission.

This is probably why I don't match well with littles or those that want the equivalent of D/lg dynamics. It's great that other people have found their bliss in them, but it's not FOR ME.

Geez, folks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
She wasn't asking if she'd be a good submissive for you, she asked the question, "what am I" and as someone who is fairly new to all of this, I'd say she's probably got a while to go before she works that out for herself. When people walk into this scene/lifestyle or whatever we want to call it, from a nilla world we may just find our desires sparring with our conscience… Why? because bowing down to a primary partner and submitting to his dominance is something so alien to the nilla world we live in, especially us in the West because we've been brought up in a society that teaches us that sensible grown up girls don't behave like that; that western women fought for their freedom to survive alone.

We've been on the scene about the same length of time and in that time I'm sure you've seen plenty of new green behind the ears potential submissives playing up. They either hang around for a short while before leaving or they blossom into a role they feel ultimately comfortable with.

Submissives don't come ready made, even if they feel they were born to be submissive. Neither do they improve with the right training and all that bollocks. A woman/man becomes submissive when they begin to feel truly comfortable in that role with a certain individual. Just because this hasn't yet happened for the op doesn't mean she's not submissive, it could simply mean she's not had the chance to blossom yet.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
She wasn't asking if she'd be a good submissive for you, she asked the question, "what am I" and as someone who is fairly new to all of this, I'd say she's probably got a while to go before she works that out for herself. When people walk into this scene/lifestyle or whatever we want to call it, from a nilla world we may just find our desires sparring with our conscience… Why? because bowing down to a primary partner and submitting to his dominance is something so alien to the nilla world we live in, especially us in the West because we've been brought up in a society that teaches us that sensible grown up girls don't behave like that; that western women fought for their freedom to survive alone.

We've been on the scene about the same length of time and in that time I'm sure you've seen plenty of new green behind the ears potential submissives playing up. They either hang around for a short while before leaving or they blossom into a role they feel ultimately comfortable with.

Submissives don't come ready made, even if they feel they were born to be submissive. Neither do they improve with the right training and all that bollocks. A woman/man becomes submissive when they begin to feel truly comfortable in that role with a certain individual. Just because this hasn't yet happened for the op doesn't mean she's not submissive, it could simply mean she's not had the chance to blossom yet.

That's exactly why I think the self reflection is going to do her good.

Let's call her primary relationship and the things related to it her vanilla life. Husband, house, kids, etc. I have this really strong suspicion that in that part of her life, she feels like she had to be in control to make things run smoothly. She kind of reminds me of that line from the movie <paraphrased> that she's got all of these balls in the air and she feels like if somebody else tries to take one of them, she'll drop them all.

Basically, she's exactly the kind of person who seeks to submit in part of her life because she wants the release that submission can give to some people. I mean, how many people are there out there who have to be 'in charge' everywhere else which is precisely why they find submission freeing?

The problem is the OP gets in her own darn way. She's been telling us that (she at least thinks) she has the desire to submit. There's something in it for her that she feels will be more satisfying than *just* the BDSM (casual kinky play) and it's not the other stuff that she could be doing if she went out and got herself a secondary vanilla relationship.

I'm not saying she has to be uber slave. I'm saying she needs to come to some determinations about how much control she wants to yield to somebody else (which is probably only going to be so much because she does have the vanilla life at home) but no contribution, no result. She's not going to reap the benefits of submission if she doesn't *give* any submission.

Also, she is going to have to sit down and come to some terms about being poly. If her next Dominant is (again) going to be her secondary partner, unless she's only ever going to date people who will only have her as their partner and nobody else in their life, she's going to have to work on her poly self. No, it's not entirely "Daddy's" job to make her feel better because she's got constant jealousy issues or try to dictate the terms of his other relationship. Shoot, the last thread that we had from the other side (the gal who came along because her Dominant's other submissive was having influence in decisions) everybody piled on about how 'bad' the Dominant was for that.

The OP *could* be working on certain things about herself that were contributors in her prior relationship going south, so her next relationship doesn't go the same way. If she was willing to do it, she might benefit from whatever sub sig or poly discussion group that might be available in her local community. It might help in her case.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

No one who thinks of a second relationship as 'Less than' their first relationship should be in a poly situation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
Thank you. That was immensely helpful and encouraging.