RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF

RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:17:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 In their eyes - it is. Everyone has their preferences. Those that don't give a shit who they go with call it discrimination. Others just call it a personal preference. But who someone has been with in the past shouldn't factor into your preferences (unless it was morally reprehensible i.e. children, animals, etc) You're not dating or having sex with their exes, so why does it matter? Because, numbnuts, it just does to some people. Just because you don't care doesn't mean everyone has to have PoV as you.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:17:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 You really don't have a clue on human nature do you. You really are so very naive. If you haven't managed to work it out at your age, I don't hold much hope. What in the world are you going on about? Bigotry and discrimnation is something you are telling me I should embrace and accept?

Awareness -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:18:24 PM)
Coming, as it does, from a fake lesbian, that's pretty fucking ironic.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:19:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 In their eyes - it is. Everyone has their preferences. Those that don't give a shit who they go with call it discrimination. Others just call it a personal preference. But who someone has been with in the past shouldn't factor into your preferences (unless it was morally reprehensible i.e. children, animals, etc) You're not dating or having sex with their exes, so why does it matter? Because, numbnuts, it just does to some people. Just because you don't care doesn't mean everyone has to have PoV as you. You have yet to explain to me why it matters. Just because is never a legitimate reason.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:19:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl Can't help but feel people who object to bisexuals do it because it bothers them on a personal level, not a rational one. Same level that bothers people when they find out I've been with non white guys. Pure discrimnation. And honestly someone with such a closed bigoted mind wouldn't be attractive to me anyway, so they can be miserable and complain about not finding anyone to meet their bigoted standards. Karma. It's not unusual for actual lesbians to not only want to not have sex with men, but to also not want to have close personal relationships/friendships with men. Their circle of friends are only other females, they don't want to talk about anything that involves men, they don't like watching romantic comedies that involve heterosexual relationships, they hang out at lesbian bars instead of typical bars, their hobbies are female orientated, etc, etc. All without them necessarily hating men (though some do). They just don't like living in a heterosexual dominated culture where they're constantly confronted with how they are 'different' and so they avoid that culture, and instead hang out in their own culture. It's really no different from born deaf people who went to deaf schools having a whole culture of their own, and hanging out primarily with other Deaf people (look up the difference between Deaf with a big D, and deaf with a small d). You, as a bisexual girl, would presumable not have that same desire to avoid typical heterosexual culture. You'd have friendships with males, you'd readily watch heterosexual dominated movies, you wouldn't want to exclusively go to lesbian bars/bdsm clubs, etc, etc. Which would make you a TERRIBLE partner for a lesbian who has no interest in such things. That's got nothing to do with her being bigoted. It's got nothing to do with her disapproving of you, or your past. It's just got to do with the fact that, due to your interest in men (past or future) you wouldn't be very compatible with her style of life. You saying that it's bigoted for somebody to only want to engage with partners with which they share mutual cultural interests, and declining to engage with partners who are socially incompatible with themselves because of sexual interests is extremely shortsighted and prudish. It's akin to claiming that just because somebody is a heterosexual male they SHOULD be attracted to post-op mtF transsexuals, and that if they're not, they're bigots.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:21:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl Can't help but feel people who object to bisexuals do it because it bothers them on a personal level, not a rational one. Same level that bothers people when they find out I've been with non white guys. Pure discrimnation. And honestly someone with such a closed bigoted mind wouldn't be attractive to me anyway, so they can be miserable and complain about not finding anyone to meet their bigoted standards. Karma. It's not unusual for actual lesbians to not only want to not have sex with men, but to also not want to have close personal relationships/friendships with men. Their circle of friends are only other females, they don't want to talk about anything that involves men, they don't like watching romantic comedies that involve heterosexual relationships, they hang out at lesbian bars instead of typical bars, their hobbies are female orientated, etc, etc. All without them necessarily hating men (though some do). They just don't like living in a heterosexual dominated culture where they're constantly confronted with how they are 'different' and so they avoid that culture, and instead hang out in their own culture. It's really no different from born deaf people who went to deaf schools having a whole culture of their own, and hanging out primarily with other Deaf people (look up the difference between Deaf with a big D, and deaf with a small d). You, as a bisexual girl, would presumable not have that same desire to avoid typical heterosexual culture. You'd have friendships with males, you'd readily watch heterosexual dominated movies, you wouldn't want to exclusively go to lesbian bars/bdsm clubs, etc, etc. Which would make you a TERRIBLE partner for a lesbian who has no interest in such things. That's got nothing to do with her being bigoted. It's got nothing to do with her disapproving of you, or your past. It's just got to do with the fact that, due to your interest in men (past or future) you wouldn't be very compatible with her style of life. You saying that it's bigoted for somebody to only want to engage with partners with which they share mutual cultural interests, and declining to engage with partners who are socially incompatible with themselves because of sexual interests is extremely shortsighted and prudish. It's akin to claiming that just because somebody is a heterosexual male they SHOULD be attracted to post-op mtF transsexuals, and that if they're not, they're bigots. Now that makes sense. I don't personally agree with the reasoning and find it terribly insular, but it makes sense. Thanks for the information.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:22:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 You really don't have a clue on human nature do you. You really are so very naive. If you haven't managed to work it out at your age, I don't hold much hope. What in the world are you going on about? Bigotry and discrimnation is something you are telling me I should embrace and accept? That's what YOU call it. Some people have a preference. That's ok - they are allowed to have that. If you don't like it or don't agree with it, that's your PoV. Just because you happen to label people with derogatory titles because you feel they should think like you is obtuse and rather abusive. Not everyone thinks that not wanting Bi partners is being a bigot. You do because you think everyone shouldn't have that preference. Same with colour or race or build or anything else you care to throw out there. And "just because" is a very legitimate reason. Why?? Because everyone is different and individual and holds different values.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:24:19 PM)
I didn't use any derogatory titles, unlike you who so eloquently called me numbnuts for advocating an open minded approach to sexuality and acceptance of others. The bigotry isn't in the preferences, it's in the reasoning behind those preferences. You aren't so dense as to not see that. Cultural compatibility I understand and sympathize with, being grossed out because of a person having been with someone you personally are disgusted by, I don't agree with or understand that.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:27:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl I didn't use any derogatory titles, unlike you who so eloquently called me numbnuts for advocating an open minded approach to sexuality and acceptance of others. So you call those that you don't agree with a bigot?? And accuse them of being discriminatory? What's worse, can't understand why they have the right to be different or have different values to you. Not everyone is as "open minded" as you claim to be. To tar everyone with a smelly brush because you don't agree with them is being more than a bigot.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:29:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl I didn't use any derogatory titles, unlike you who so eloquently called me numbnuts for advocating an open minded approach to sexuality and acceptance of others. So you call those that you don't agree with a bigot?? And accuse them of being discriminatory? What's worse, can't understand why they have the right to be different or have different values to you. Not everyone is as "open minded" as you claim to be. To tar everyone with a smelly brush because you don't agree with them is being more than a bigot. I call bigots a bigot. If their motivations aren't fueled by bigotry then they are not bigots Maybe I'm not typing slow enough......

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:30:58 PM)
Maybe you aren't making any rational sense. [8\|] If anything, your intolerance of others having a preference is very much a bigot.

OsideGirl -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:40:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 To tar everyone with a smelly brush because you don't agree with them is being more than a bigot. I have a very close friend is very religious. She believes that homosexuality and bisexuality is a sin. However, she doesn't treat those that are any differently - she just won't do it herself or be in a relationship that would do.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:42:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 To tar everyone with a smelly brush because you don't agree with them is being more than a bigot. I have a very close friend is very religious. She believes that homosexuality and bisexuality is a sin. However, she doesn't treat those that are any differently - she just won't do it herself or be in a relationship that would do. And that would be her preference and choice - and every right to choose that. But if she went round calling them bigots because they have a different preference to herself, isn't that very much pot and kettle??

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:53:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 Maybe you aren't making any rational sense. [8\|] If anything, your intolerance of others having a preference is very much a bigot. You don't understand what bigotry is. "The English noun bigot is a term of abuse aimed at a prejudiced or closed-minded person, especially one who is intolerant or hostile towards different social groups (especially, and originally, other religious groups), and especially one whose own beliefs are perceived as unreasonable or excessively narrow-minded, superstitious, or hypocritical." Yes, it's name calling. But I'm not sorry for calling hypocrites names. If the reason OP doesn't prefer relationships with bi women is because she doesn't think they'd have much in common or wouldn't be satisfied with her lifestyle, that's not bigotry. If it is, as she insinuated, she thinks bisexual women are gross because they like cock and cock is gross in her personal opinion, that's bigotry and frankly irrational. If a bi chick is with OP they are with her, not a cock and having been with cock in the past doesn't make bisexual women gross or tainted.

MariaB -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:55:13 PM)
If you are heterosexual then you look for a partner of the opposite sex. If you are gay, you look for a partner of the same sex. and if you're bi, you could be looking for a partner of either sex. Is any of the above selfish? For lesbians I don’t think it’s the risk of HIV but more the risk of falling in love and then losing their lover to a man. I'm bi and I lived with my queer fem lover for a few years but when the hardships of queer life get too much I turned my attention back to heteroville. I was the first bi she'd ever really bothered with. She always said and I think she was right, that bi women were far more likely to break a lesbians heart.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 12:56:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB If you are heterosexual then you look for a partner of the opposite sex. If you are gay, you look for a partner of the same sex. and if you're bi, you could be looking for a partner of either sex. Is any of the above selfish? For lesbians I don’t think it’s the risk of HIV but more the risk of falling in love and then losing their lover to a man. I'm bi and I lived with my queer fem lover for a few years but when the hardships of queer life get too much I turned my attention back to heteroville. I was the first bi she'd ever really bothered with. She always said and I think she was right, that bi women were far more likely to break a lesbians heart. You could just as easily cheat on her or leave her for another woman. Would her heart be less broken?

UllrsIshtar -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 1:04:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB If you are heterosexual then you look for a partner of the opposite sex. If you are gay, you look for a partner of the same sex. and if you're bi, you could be looking for a partner of either sex. Is any of the above selfish? For lesbians I don’t think it’s the risk of HIV but more the risk of falling in love and then losing their lover to a man. I'm bi and I lived with my queer fem lover for a few years but when the hardships of queer life get too much I turned my attention back to heteroville. I was the first bi she'd ever really bothered with. She always said and I think she was right, that bi women were far more likely to break a lesbians heart. You could just as easily cheat on her or leave her for another woman. Would her heart be less broken? Actually that's not true. Statistically speaking, most self-proclaimed bisexual women lean more heavily towards men than women. As such, it's much more likely for a 'more male leaning bisexual woman' to enter in a relationship with a lesbian, and after a while find that she misses men to much (or meet a man she leans more towards than her current female partner) than it would for a lesbian woman to leave because her sexual feelings aren't fully satisfied in a lesbian relationship. That's obviously not the case for ALL bisexual women, but it is the case for the vast majority of bisexual women, and thus, it's more risky for a true lesbian to be in a relationship with a bisexual woman than with another lesbian.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 1:07:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB If you are heterosexual then you look for a partner of the opposite sex. If you are gay, you look for a partner of the same sex. and if you're bi, you could be looking for a partner of either sex. Is any of the above selfish? For lesbians I don’t think it’s the risk of HIV but more the risk of falling in love and then losing their lover to a man. I'm bi and I lived with my queer fem lover for a few years but when the hardships of queer life get too much I turned my attention back to heteroville. I was the first bi she'd ever really bothered with. She always said and I think she was right, that bi women were far more likely to break a lesbians heart. You could just as easily cheat on her or leave her for another woman. Would her heart be less broken? Actually that's not true. Statistically speaking, most self-proclaimed bisexual women lean more heavily towards men than women. As such, it's much more likely for a 'more male leaning bisexual woman' to enter in a relationship with a lesbian, and after a while find that she misses men to much (or meet a man she leans more towards than her current female partner) than it would for a lesbian woman to leave because her sexual feelings aren't fully satisfied in a lesbian relationship. That's obviously not the case for ALL bisexual women, but it is the case for the vast majority of bisexual women, and thus, it's more risky for a true lesbian to be in a relationship with a bisexual woman than with another lesbian. Cite?

UllrsIshtar -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 1:18:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl Cite? I don't cite sources for an informal discussion on a message board (you're not grading my papers). If that makes you disregard my statements, I don't really care, as we're not engaging in any kind of formal debate. However, there are various studies out there that indicate that: - Women are much more likely to start off identifying as heterosexual, to later shift to being bisexual - Bisexual women are much more likely to have more long term relationships with men than women - Bisexual woman are more likely than bisexual men to never have a same sex relationship, and only have infrequent sexual contact with their own sex (sexual adventures with women are cool; dating them is not) They shouldn't be hard to find if you're really interested. All of those things would make that a lesbian might very well be wary to trust that a bisexual woman is really interested in a long term relationship, instead of just 'experimenting' until the right man comes along.

OsideGirl -> RE: ON C/S A REAL SHORTAGE OF (10/12/2016 1:21:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar However, there are various studies out there that indicate that: - Women are much more likely to start off identifying as heterosexual, to later shift to being bisexual - Bisexual women are much more likely to have more long term relationships with men than women - Bisexual woman are more likely than bisexual men to never have a same sex relationship, and only have infrequent sexual contact with their own sex (sexual adventures with women are cool; dating them is not) All very true. I actually prefer women over men. And still ended up married to a man and since marrying him have had very little same sex interaction.

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

6.640625E-02