RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (Full Version)

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UllrsIshtar -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:04:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

I understand what you're saying and what you are talking about is more of a bedroom submissive. I really can't relate because to me that is kinky sex play. When i say i'm submissive, i am talking alot more than the bedroom. I know i am very old- fashioned compared to most women these days. I am strong when under the leadership of a strong man. I don't want anymore responsibility than I have to have. I like to defer to the man in my life's authority... the buck stops with him so- to- speak. So perhaps we are talking apples and oranges here.

There are several women in this site who are not bedroom submissives, they are lifestyle submissives they live it day and night, and they have described themselves to be the exact opposite of what you are suggesting. You are describing a doormat, as needles said. And the lifestyle submissives I know would be offended by that.




Actually i described myself a little to you and you labelled me a doormat.



This is taken out of context, and is intentionally misleading. Go back and read it in the context of the conversation .


No it's not. I went back and reread the context, after you so kindly provided the numbers to the relevant posts...

You basically said: "Women who are like you just described are not lifestyle submissives, they're doormats instead".

But thanks so much for proving my point to LP...




tamaka -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:08:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

I understand what you're saying and what you are talking about is more of a bedroom submissive. I really can't relate because to me that is kinky sex play. When i say i'm submissive, i am talking alot more than the bedroom. I know i am very old- fashioned compared to most women these days. I am strong when under the leadership of a strong man. I don't want anymore responsibility than I have to have. I like to defer to the man in my life's authority... the buck stops with him so- to- speak. So perhaps we are talking apples and oranges here.

There are several women in this site who are not bedroom submissives, they are lifestyle submissives they live it day and night, and they have described themselves to be the exact opposite of what you are suggesting. You are describing a doormat, as needles said. And the lifestyle submissives I know would be offended by that.




Actually i described myself a little to you and you labelled me a doormat.



This is taken out of context, and is intentionally misleading. Go back and read it in the context of the conversation .


No it isn't. I just described myself. I didn't try to take what anyone said and apply it to myself. I simply described myself. You then informed me i was a doormat. I told you in another post i didn't care what you labelled me because i don't care what you think.




ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:08:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka


quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyblinker

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
I think there is a difference between a powerful man who uses a dominatrix for some relief for a few hours vs. a boy who wants to submit to the rule of women as his paradigm of existence.


Anyone who submits to anyone as a paradigm of their existence is going to be different from most other members of their gender. I'm just not sure why you're trying to force traditional gender roles onto non-traditional relationships.


I'm not trying to force anything. I just have a concern for the long- term well- being of society when we don't hold any reasonable standards for the individuals that compose that society.


You know, people have been saying that shit since forever, every time society changed they fretted over the well being of society, and yet here we still are, generally improving the standard of life for more and more people with each passing year. Society is not some permanent thing, it evolves and changes. We know longer enslave blacks, yet at one time the idea of not doing so was seen as a threat to the well-being of society. Decriminalizing homosexuality was seen as a threat to the well-being of society (it still is in some places), and yet here we are, with homosexuality being legal and society doing just fine. Society is malleable thing, it is not some concrete thing handed down from on high, it is rather something that the people who comprise it make up as they go along.

Another thing, it seems to me the height of arrogance to assume that I, or you, or anyone, can determine what is right for any other person in terms of their relationships. See, what works for me seems like the natural order to me, and I can't figure out why everybody doesn't do shit the way I do, it is to me, just natural, the way things should be. And yet I do not insist that my way is the natural order determined by evolution or biology, nor do I consider those who do not do things my way are somehow lacking, at worst I feel a little sorry for them for missing out on what is to me a fucking awesome way of structuring one's life.




ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:10:40 PM)

quote:

I think it's strange how the open- minded crowd seems to have a rather hostile reaction and outright disdain to people who have open their minds to consider their ideas but ultimately determined to disagree with them. It's really the strangest thing.

What on earth makes you think they are open-minded?




needlesandpins -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:16:51 PM)

You want to play on technicalities, then by tamaka's own definition it's what she is calling every sub guy. I'm not seeing how that is right either. I'm not seeing how her calling sub men weak and pathetic gets a free pass in here with anyone. It doesn't have to be her turn on, but it's a really crappy way to talk about people.

The shear fact the she has a vagina means she's cool to be submissive, but some how there is something wrong with every other woman, and any man that isn't straight out Dom? Worse than that though, because that's just her narrow opinion, she gets to call those guys weak and pathetic, plus bang on about it bringing down society. Seriously, WTF?

Wayward5oul was calling her out in context of 'well by your own standards, if'. It's really not difficult to work that out, and it's a very valid point.

Needles




tamaka -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:20:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

I think it's strange how the open- minded crowd seems to have a rather hostile reaction and outright disdain to people who have open their minds to consider their ideas but ultimately determined to disagree with them. It's really the strangest thing.

What on earth makes you think they are open-minded?


Well they seem to use that as their platform... but i guess i really don't see it.




ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:25:41 PM)

Just because people are kinky does not mean they cease to be people, and all people are open-minded in some contexts and not in others. I am one of the most open minded people I can imagine, and yet there are issues and contexts when I am not, there are points of view on which I am closed-minded. And if everybody is honest, they will admit that this is true for them as well.

There re things I like to do which others will find disgusting or just plain wrong, there is one poster on here whose relationship dynamic I find to be highly abusive, and nothing will change my mind on that front. That is just the way that people are.

I think that the world would be a much better place if we all just tried a little harder to just accept each other as we are, without trying to impose our own ideas and prejudices on others. But again, imposing our views on others is an inherent part of being human, so that's just something I have to work harder on accepting. [:)]




UllrsIshtar -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:26:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

You want to play on technicalities, then by tamaka's own definition it's what she is calling every sub guy. I'm not seeing how that is right either. I'm not seeing how her calling sub men weak and pathetic gets a free pass in here with anyone. It doesn't have to be her turn on, but it's a really crappy way to talk about people.




Absolutely. She totally called all male submissives doormats.
I didn't see her get a free pass for it either.

LP asked Awareness when he's seen people get a free pass for calling female submissives "weak and pathetic"/doormats, and so I felt the need to point out to her that I've seen that a lot... hell, it's happened to me personally quite a bit... apparently again in this very thread (which I didn't know at the time because I missed a bunch when I was gone from the boards for a few days and didn't bother reading every single post before replying to LPs post).

My point to LP stands: people get a free pass all the time for calling female submissives "weak and pathetic" they just do it by means of calling the female submissive a "doormat", and thereby try to shame her for submitting in a different way than they do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Wayward5oul was calling her out in context of 'well by your own standards, if'. It's really not difficult to work that out, and it's a very valid point.



Yeah, Wayward5oul said 'well, by our standards if you submit like [tamaka just described herself submitting] then you're a doormat, and the [twue] lifestyle submissives on this board would take offense at you calling that lifestyle submission'.

Well it so happens that I, my slave, and a number of my close friends submit EXACTLY the way tamaka was describing (although I hope I could have described it a bit more eloquent than she did) so apparently that makes us all doormats.

Sadly that is nothing new to me though... I've been called "weak and pathetic"/doormat for as long as I've posted here.
And before that I got call it offline.

And you know what? Apparently it worked out really well for everybody too! Because I don't post about how I submit nearly as often anymore as I once used to, so ya'll don't need to be bother anymore by how pathetic I really am...







tamaka -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:26:48 PM)

Life isn't fair. A man will never be the best version of himself on his knees.




ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:29:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

Life isn't fair. A man will never be the best version of himself on his knees.

I disagree, my fella is never a better person or a better man than when on his knees playing with his daughter.




LadyPact -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:30:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
I didn't say you did it.

But you asked Awareness "When have you ever seen it happen and the perpetrator getting a pass for it?" and I'm telling you: I've seen it a lot.

Funny, because I usually notice it going the other way.

Over the years, and I mean long term years, I recall a couple of female Dominants (self labeled female supremacists) do it, but cases where they got called to the carpet pretty darn quick. To me, that's not really somebody getting a pass for it.

You mentioned two other things that I've been considering. One being the way you felt you were treated regarding a past time in your life and seeing the similar thing in regards to Awareness and Kaliko. It occurs to me that, depending on who we are, our particular relationship styles, etc, we do notice some things that are closer to home than what the other poster sees. J****O***** (I hope I got that right) did a thread on this a long time ago because she saw a lot of people attacking DD/lg dynamics (cause she was in one) that other people who weren't didn't get the same perception at all. Point being, we were all seeing the same threads. Interpretations about such threads, or even noticing them at all, was because they were viewed with different perspectives. When you personally identify with something or you know it's an identity of people you care about, you are more likely to take notice. I've noticed quite a few Gorean bashing threads over the years, but I'll bet you notice more.






tamaka -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:34:03 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

Life isn't fair. A man will never be the best version of himself on his knees.

I disagree, my fella is never a better person or a better man than when on his knees playing with his daughter.


: )




Wayward5oul -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:40:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
No, being led around by the nose ring implies much more than just doing what someone else wants. It has a negative connotation to it, which actually goes with your earlier statement about submissive men being weak, not protective, they aren't leaders, they abdicate responsibility. Those are not things that a submissive does because they are ordered to, those are personality traits that are not accurate descriptions of any submissives I know, male or female.

I know a lot of submissive men AND women who are nothing like that. Including myself. You being submissive, you must apply this description to yourself as well. If this true? If not, why not?

The context which i was referring to includes this conversation, which is the one tamaka was responding to when I responded with the post that includes doormat.

When I said that the description was of a doormat, I was referencing this, where I had actually asked her if this description she made actually applied to her. Note that the whole time I am openly questioning her description of female subs as well, inclung how she is applying it to herself. Even In the post where I used doormat, I said she was suggesting these things. I didn't say they were fact and I never agreed with them. I think the totality of the posts I made indicate that I disagree with the negative descriptions, and that I had a hard time believing that it actually applied to her, hence the questioning and requests for clarification.

As needles pointed out, lots of questions went unanswered, or were answered in a vague manner that prompted more questions.

I still state that, when taken in the context of the conversation, I did not call her a doormat. I argued against the idea and repeatedly questioned that the idea applied to anyone, including her.

If you disagree with that, so be it. But I stand by it. And I stand by my statement that I disagree with the sub as doirmat comparison and have argued against it on these boards.




Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:41:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka


quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyblinker

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
I think there is a difference between a powerful man who uses a dominatrix for some relief for a few hours vs. a boy who wants to submit to the rule of women as his paradigm of existence.


Anyone who submits to anyone as a paradigm of their existence is going to be different from most other members of their gender. I'm just not sure why you're trying to force traditional gender roles onto non-traditional relationships.


I'm not trying to force anything. I just have a concern for the long- term well- being of society when we don't hold any reasonable standards for the individuals that compose that society.



YOU'RE ON A BDSM WEBSITE. You're concerned about society? Are you mental?




Being a submissive male does not begin and end in the BDSM world.

No, but you sure as hell aren't going to "fix society" ,of which many of us and our preferences would be shunned by said society including your own, by spouting off your world view on a bdsm website.




Wayward5oul -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:46:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins


quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

Clearly you are not prepared to back up your statement.


I'm sorry... i don't know exactly what you're getting at. Led around by a nosering is an expression. Basically it means that you follow along with what someone else wants.



Are you a weak little doormat? Are you a pathetic, sniveling little non entity?

So say for instance you do every last whim of your Dom, and he's happy with you, that makes you happy right. Now, Peon is with any number if the queuing hoards of women on here waiting to snap him up, he wants nothing more than to please them, they are pleased with his service just as your Dom is pleased with yours, and that, I'm assuming pleases him. The world here has not fallen apart, because outside in the everyday world there is nothing to say that Peon isn't exactly the man you assume a man is supposed to be. Because walking down the street as a complete stranger would you know what his kink is. Do you scream walking doormat as you walk down the street? or are you just a woman, assuming you're not someone's dodgy sock here, that is the 'same' as any other strong woman, but has a slant for the sub side?

I haven't met Peon in person, but as the world hasn't gone tits up over his preference I'm going to assume that his macho levels are just dandy.

Needles


Just to remind EVERYONE here, NO-ONE called ANYONE a doormat actually. I ASKED a question. In fact I asked several questions throughout this thread several times and was NEVER answered. You see I was asking if the same crap logic being applied to a penis applied to a vagina, but like I said, I never got the answer.

So anyone throwing an accusation of tamaka being called a doormat by me can kindly get their facts straight.

Thanks, and all that.

Needles

Needles, I didn't intend to say that you called anyone a doormat. I was just trying to point out that that idea had been introduced in this thread and rejected.




tamaka -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:49:10 PM)

It's just a topic of conversation on a message board. If people didn't want to talk about it, the conversation would end.




tamaka -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:51:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
No, being led around by the nose ring implies much more than just doing what someone else wants. It has a negative connotation to it, which actually goes with your earlier statement about submissive men being weak, not protective, they aren't leaders, they abdicate responsibility. Those are not things that a submissive does because they are ordered to, those are personality traits that are not accurate descriptions of any submissives I know, male or female.

I know a lot of submissive men AND women who are nothing like that. Including myself. You being submissive, you must apply this description to yourself as well. If this true? If not, why not?

The context which i was referring to includes this conversation, which is the one tamaka was responding to when I responded with the post that includes doormat.

When I said that the description was of a doormat, I was referencing this, where I had actually asked her if this description she made actually applied to her. Note that the whole time I am openly questioning her description of female subs as well, inclung how she is applying it to herself. Even In the post where I used doormat, I said she was suggesting these things. I think the totality of the posts I made indicate that I disagree with the negative descriptions, and that I had a hard time believing that it actually applied to her, hence the questioning and requests for clarification.

As needles pointed out, lots of questions went unanswered, or were answered in a vague manner that prompted more questions.

I still state that, when taken in the context of the conversation, I did not call her a doormat. I argued against the idea and repeatedly questioned that the idea applied to anyone, including her.

If you disagree with that, so be it. But I stand by it. And I stand by my statement that I disagree with the sub as doirmat comparison and have argued against it on these boards.


Funny how you expect others to take responsibility for their words and actions but you won't do the same.




LadyPact -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:54:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
Life isn't fair. A man will never be the best version of himself on his knees.

OK. I know I was a dick earlier. (I do hope you read the post where I did apologize.) I do have a curiosity question though.

Does any of this opinion change for you if you actually cared about the other individual prior to knowing he was a male submissive? I mean in terms of a long time friend, a brother, or maybe (depending on your age) a male off-spring? What impact would the loss of respect have for you should there be a sudden announcement kind of deal.






UllrsIshtar -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:57:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
No, being led around by the nose ring implies much more than just doing what someone else wants. It has a negative connotation to it, which actually goes with your earlier statement about submissive men being weak, not protective, they aren't leaders, they abdicate responsibility. Those are not things that a submissive does because they are ordered to, those are personality traits that are not accurate descriptions of any submissives I know, male or female.

I know a lot of submissive men AND women who are nothing like that. Including myself. You being submissive, you must apply this description to yourself as well. If this true? If not, why not?

The context which i was referring to includes this conversation, which is the one tamaka was responding to when I responded with the post that includes doormat.

When I said that the description was of a doormat, I was referencing this, where I had actually asked her if this description she made actually applied to her. Note that the whole time I am openly questioning her description of female subs as well, inclung how she is applying it to herself. Even In the post where I used doormat, I said she was suggesting these things. I think the totality of the posts I made indicate that I disagree with the negative descriptions, and that I had a hard time believing that it actually applied to her, hence the questioning and requests for clarification.

As needles pointed out, lots of questions went unanswered, or were answered in a vague manner that prompted more questions.

I still state that, when taken in the context of the conversation, I did not call her a doormat. I argued against the idea and repeatedly questioned that the idea applied to anyone, including her.

If you disagree with that, so be it. But I stand by it. And I stand by my statement that I disagree with the sub as doirmat comparison and have argued against it on these boards.


Yeah, I read all of that... which why I said that it wasn't out of context.

All that stuff about "being lead around by the nose ring" applies to me. If DEFINITIVELY applies to my slave girl. It also applies to several of my friends. Again, I think I could have put it more eloquently than tamaka did, but I didn't see her say anything in any of her posts describing what submission means to her that doesn't apply to me.

Apparently you consider women who submit in such a way doormats, while still considering yourself a crusader against the doormat stereotype.

Which makes you a hypocrite. Plain and simple.




needlesandpins -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/7/2016 3:59:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

You want to play on technicalities, then by tamaka's own definition it's what she is calling every sub guy. I'm not seeing how that is right either. I'm not seeing how her calling sub men weak and pathetic gets a free pass in here with anyone. It doesn't have to be her turn on, but it's a really crappy way to talk about people.




Absolutely. She totally called all male submissives doormats.
I didn't see her get a free pass for it either.

LP asked Awareness when he's seen people get a free pass for calling female submissives "weak and pathetic"/doormats, and so I felt the need to point out to her that I've seen that a lot... hell, it's happened to me personally quite a bit... apparently again in this very thread (which I didn't know at the time because I missed a bunch when I was gone from the boards for a few days and didn't bother reading every single post before replying to LPs post).

My point to LP stands: people get a free pass all the time for calling female submissives "weak and pathetic" they just do it by means of calling the female submissive a "doormat", and thereby try to shame her for submitting in a different way than they do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Wayward5oul was calling her out in context of 'well by your own standards, if'. It's really not difficult to work that out, and it's a very valid point.



Yeah, Wayward5oul said 'well, by our standards if you submit like [tamaka just described herself submitting] then you're a doormat, and the [twue] lifestyle submissives on this board would take offense at you calling that lifestyle submission'.

Well it so happens that I, my slave, and a number of my close friends submit EXACTLY the way tamaka was describing (although I hope I could have described it a bit more eloquent than she did) so apparently that makes us all doormats.

Sadly that is nothing new to me though... I've been called "weak and pathetic"/doormat for as long as I've posted here.
And before that I got call it offline.

And you know what? Apparently it worked out really well for everybody too! Because I don't post about how I submit nearly as often anymore as I once used to, so ya'll don't need to be bother anymore by how pathetic I really am...







I can't say that it hasn't happened before here, and probably on every other related site on the net, as well as in real life, and I should think it's going to happen again in the future at some point. However, in this thread, in the context of what Wayward and I were doing, neither of us were calling you, nor your friends, or anyone else doormats. tamaka was being called out on her crappy behaviour, and having it directed straight back at her in the form of a question, and then posed as a situation.

Now you can stop with the twisting of this with me because it's getting really victim player-ish there at the end, which I find rather boring. I may not find the way you submit weak, but I find the whole swoon at the end lacking form.

Needles




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