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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 4:00:28 PM   
tamaka


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*see below

< Message edited by tamaka -- 11/7/2016 4:04:58 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 4:03:10 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
Life isn't fair. A man will never be the best version of himself on his knees.

OK. I know I was a dick earlier. (I do hope you read the post where I did apologize.) I do have a curiosity question though.

Does any of this opinion change for you if you actually cared about the other individual prior to knowing he was a male submissive? I mean in terms of a long time friend, a brother, or maybe (depending on your age) a male off-spring? What impact would the loss of respect have for you should there be a sudden announcement kind of deal.





Well... there'd be a lot of 'Tough Love'.
But no respect... and that probably would put a strain on the relationship.

And thank you for the apology.


(in reply to tamaka)
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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 4:10:42 PM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

It's just a topic of conversation on a message board. If people didn't want to talk about it, the conversation would end.

You're self proclaimed motivation was to "fix society. " how are you going to do that here? Still waiting on an actual answer.

(in reply to tamaka)
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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 4:16:28 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

I can't say that it hasn't happened before here, and probably on every other related site on the net, as well as in real life, and I should think it's going to happen again in the future at some point. However, in this thread, in the context of what Wayward and I were doing, neither of us were calling you, nor your friends, or anyone else doormats.



I never said anything about you calling her a doormat. In fact, I specifically said I don't think you called her a doormat, considering that you just asked her if she considers herself a doormat.

That Wayward5oul didn't is plain and utter bullshit, considering that what she said was: "There are several women in this site who are not bedroom submissives, they are lifestyle submissives they live it day and night, and they have described themselves to be the exact opposite of what you are suggesting. You are describing a doormat, as needles said (you didn't say that, and I never claimed you did). And the lifestyle submissives I know would be offended by that."

Warward5oul said: people who submit like that are doormats. You claiming that she didn't do that doesn't change the fact that she did.


quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Now you can stop with the twisting of this with me because it's getting really victim player-ish there at the end, which I find rather boring. I may not find the way you submit weak, but I find the whole swoon at the end lacking form.



*shrugs*

It's what my experience is: I don't post on this board about my views on submission anymore because when I do, I get called a doormat. Not that I care about being called a doormat... it just doesn't make for a very interesting conversation when you share your view points and experiences, and have the consistent response be "you're doing it wrong, you need to change". Getting told over, and over again that I'm weak and pathetic isn't why I post here. So now I limit my topics to stuff I might actually get actually interesting input from other people on, instead of topics I know which are going to be a waste of my time.
If you find me bringing that up boring and lacking form, then I suggest you put me on hide, cause I ain't going to shut up on making that point just because you don't want me to make it.




< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 11/7/2016 4:17:29 PM >


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 4:18:29 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

It's just a topic of conversation on a message board. If people didn't want to talk about it, the conversation would end.

You're self proclaimed motivation was to "fix society. " how are you going to do that here? Still waiting on an actual answer.


You'll have to show me where i said i wanted to fix society. I am concerned for society and the future with the trajectory we're on, but personally i'm not trying to fix anything.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 445
RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 4:23:09 PM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

It's just a topic of conversation on a message board. If people didn't want to talk about it, the conversation would end.

You're self proclaimed motivation was to "fix society. " how are you going to do that here? Still waiting on an actual answer.


You'll have to show me where i said i wanted to fix society. I am concerned for society and the future with the trajectory we're on, but personally i'm not trying to fix anything.



Then why discuss it? Why bother to insult male subs and female Dommes? I don't understand your motivation.

(in reply to tamaka)
Profile   Post #: 446
RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 4:33:58 PM   
tamaka


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Just to share my point of view.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 4:36:01 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

It's just a topic of conversation on a message board. If people didn't want to talk about it, the conversation would end.

You're self proclaimed motivation was to "fix society. " how are you going to do that here? Still waiting on an actual answer.

No she did not.You are, as per your usual practice, falling for the strawman fallacy.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 4:39:39 PM   
Wayward5oul


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quote:


All that stuff about "being lead around by the nose ring" applies to me. If DEFINITIVELY applies to my slave girl. It also applies to several of my friends. Again, I think I could have put it more eloquently than tamaka did, but I didn't see her say anything in any of her posts describing what submission means to her that doesn't apply to me.

Apparently you consider women who submit in such a way doormats, while still considering yourself a crusader against the doormat stereotype.

Which makes you a hypocrite. Plain and simple.


And I do not believe that the description above is the whole of what she thinks of herself, which is why I continued questioning her, to see if she would acknowledge strengths at one point or another. She said at one time she was strong under a strong master, but her descriptions never took that into account, hence the questioning.

Because I happen to think that submission itself requires a lot of strength, maybe not in terms of what is traditionally seen as strength, but then these are non-traditional lifestyles. Even when a submissive bends to their dominant's will in everything, they still have life to deal with. Life is difficult enough, but dealing with it and still being submissive, having jobs, taking care of children or other family, all of that requires strength which may or may not be acknowledged. So no, I don't think that doormat applies to her, nor other submissives. My persistent questioning of what she believes is because of that. And you never saw me agree with what she said, because I didn't believe that's the whole of it, anymore than I believe that this description, which you acknowledge fits you, is the whole of you.

So we will have to agree to disagree on that. I know what I meant, and I have explained as well as I can right now. If someone disagrees, so be it. But I won't say that I meant something that I didn't. And I dont agree that I am a hypocrite, because our interpretations differ.


(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 4:45:18 PM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

I can't say that it hasn't happened before here, and probably on every other related site on the net, as well as in real life, and I should think it's going to happen again in the future at some point. However, in this thread, in the context of what Wayward and I were doing, neither of us were calling you, nor your friends, or anyone else doormats.



I never said anything about you calling her a doormat. In fact, I specifically said I don't think you called her a doormat, considering that you just asked her if she considers herself a doormat.

That Wayward5oul didn't is plain and utter bullshit, considering that what she said was: "There are several women in this site who are not bedroom submissives, they are lifestyle submissives they live it day and night, and they have described themselves to be the exact opposite of what you are suggesting. You are describing a doormat, as needles said (you didn't say that, and I never claimed you did). And the lifestyle submissives I know would be offended by that."

Warward5oul said: people who submit like that are doormats. You claiming that she didn't do that doesn't change the fact that she did.


quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Now you can stop with the twisting of this with me because it's getting really victim player-ish there at the end, which I find rather boring. I may not find the way you submit weak, but I find the whole swoon at the end lacking form.



*shrugs*

It's what my experience is: I don't post on this board about my views on submission anymore because when I do, I get called a doormat. Not that I care about being called a doormat... it just doesn't make for a very interesting conversation when you share your view points and experiences, and have the consistent response be "you're doing it wrong, you need to change". Getting told over, and over again that I'm weak and pathetic isn't why I post here. So now I limit my topics to stuff I might actually get actually interesting input from other people on, instead of topics I know which are going to be a waste of my time.
If you find me bringing that up boring and lacking form, then I suggest you put me on hide, cause I ain't going to shut up on making that point just because you don't want me to make it.





Right, you keep deliberately taking what Wayward said out of context, Wayward said that the way, THE WAY in which tamaka was describing lifestyle submissives made them sound like doormats, and then went on to say, and here is the important part, that the ones they know would be offended by that.

You've quoted it right there to me.

Wayward was not personally calling anyone a doormat though. So ok, you happen to relate to what tamaka has said. Fair enough, but the whole point that Wayward was actually trying to make was the same as mine, except that you just happen to have picked a tiny bit out of it to pull a hole because it suits your agenda instead of realising that Wayward is trying to say that it's just not right to call someone weak and pathetic for being exactly what you yourself are.

Now what's getting me here Ishtar is that if you've put up with this crap so much then why are you willing to allow tamaka to perpetuate it just because she's spouting it at men? Seriously I'd be expecting you to strap up your boots and bitch slap that crap down. I don't expect you to not hold your own in a valid attack on you, but you're bringing your past at me like I started something with you, and I didn't, so I don't need the twisting victim play. I'm not going to put you on hide, I'm just asking you to cut it out with me. I mean, yeah, if I'd really called you out on it I'd fully expect you to bring right back at me and defend your corner, whatever the topic, but right now I'm not the one you need to do this with.

Needles

< Message edited by needlesandpins -- 11/7/2016 4:48:38 PM >


_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 5:01:34 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
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Personally, if a slave's Master has them serve them as a doormat, i see nothing wrong with it. The purpose of a slave is to please their Master and serve them well, and the Master is the one who gets to decide whether a doormat is perfect for them.

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 451
RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 5:23:41 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Right, you keep deliberately taking what Wayward said out of context, Wayward said that the way, THE WAY in which tamaka was describing lifestyle submissives made them sound like doormats, and then went on to say, and here is the important part, that the ones they know would be offended by that.


She didn't say "the way you're describing them they sound like doormats", she said "the way you're describing them they are doormats".

And what tamaka was describing was me.

*shrugs*

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Wayward was not personally calling anyone a doormat though.




You can tell me a million times she didn't call me a doormat, but if tamaka had described people playing guitar, and Wayward5oul had come in and said "You're describing doormats." I'd have said she was calling me a doormat just the same.

Point in fact is that Wayward5oul said: people who do X are doormats.

Plain and simple.

Hell she's gone and backed up that description in this post:

"Because I happen to think that submission itself requires a lot of strength, maybe not in terms of what is traditionally seen as strength, but then these are non-traditional lifestyles. Even when a submissive bends to their dominant's will in everything, they still have life to deal with. Life is difficult enough, but dealing with it and still being submissive, having jobs, taking care of children or other family, all of that requires strength which may or may not be acknowledged. So no, I don't think that doormat applies to her, nor other submissives. My persistent questioning of what she believes is because of that. And you never saw me agree with what she said, because I didn't believe that's the whole of it, anymore than I believe that this description, which you acknowledge fits you, is the whole of you."

She's saying: I don't think tamaka is a doormat, because I don't believe her description of herself. She must be submissive in all these other ways I believe in as well. Same for you Ishtar, you can't possible be just that description. All the while implying: women who ARE just plainly that description are doormats.

Meanwhile doesn't know jack shit about me, or how submission applies to me, and her description of "submissive strength" doesn't apply to me at all (nor tamaka for that matter, from what she described) considering that when I submit, I am specifically looking for a man who will "take over" and "lead me by the nose ring" so that I very specifically don't have to do all that stuff anymore, or worry about it, or give it any thought at all, or show any kind of initiative or leadership or self-guidance in ANY of those areas.

So again, she's saying "Submissive who submit in X way are doormats. You and tamaka are not doormats because you don't just do X, you also do Y at the same time. If you just did X then that would make you a doormat, but you can't be, because you also do Y." when at least as far as I'm concerned (and I'm guessing tamaka as well) Y doesn't apply to me in the least.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

So ok, you happen to relate to what tamaka has said. Fair enough, but the whole point that Wayward was actually trying to make was the same as mine, except that you just happen to have picked a tiny bit out of it to pull a hole because it suits your agenda instead of realising that Wayward is trying to say that it's just not right to call someone weak and pathetic for being exactly what you yourself are.



No, the point -you- were trying to make was: It's not nice of you to say mean shit about other people, because you wouldn't like it if people said mean shit about you, so cut it out.

The point Wayward5oul was trying to make was: You shouldn't say something like that about other people, because nobody is really like that, and just like you are amazingly Y in the way you submit, so too are male submissives amazingly Y in the way they submit... people who aren't Y when they submit are doormats. And because male submissives are Y when they submit, you should't call them doormats.

Those two points are very very different, which is why I'm not harping on you.

The problem with her whole point is exactly her assumption that "all submissives are Y when they submit" AND "submissives who aren't Y when they submit are doormat".
Both of which are claims I take issue with.
And both of which are claims you never made.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Now what's getting me here Ishtar is that if you've put up with this crap so much then why are you willing to allow tamaka to perpetuate it just because she's spouting it at men? Seriously I'd be expecting you to strap up your boots and bitch slap that crap down.



Why would I bother? Half the board has already done so. I enjoy harping on points others haven't made yet much more than chiming in with a 'me too'. In fact, it's my general policy -on any thread, on any topic- that if I read something that makes me want to say something, and then I read 3 or more posts already making the point I was going to make, I don't post.
I think too many people saying the same thing prevents thread drift, and I love thread drift (cause it often leads to the most interesting discussions) so I deliberately refrain from making posts that might prevent or delay thread drift.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

but you're bringing your past at me like I started something with you, and I didn't,


Nah I didn't. Not at you specifically (nor anybody else specifically either cause I don't keep track of whose called me a doormat in the past, because I don't care).
I made a post with a number of points aimed at you specifically, and a number of points aimed at the board in general.
I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was personally singling you out as a "evil doormat-caller" I didn't intend to do so. The last two paragraphes of that post where basically a FR tacked on to a post in which I was replying to you. They weren't directed at you specifically.




< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 11/7/2016 5:24:19 PM >


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 452
RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 5:30:43 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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Okay... lets make this really really easy...

Wayward5oul, you've several times now made references to what doormats are, and what they aren't.

So please describe a person you'd label a "doormat" for me.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 453
RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 5:56:03 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
Personally, if a slave's Master has them serve them as a doormat, i see nothing wrong with it. The purpose of a slave is to please their Master and serve them well, and the Master is the one who gets to decide whether a doormat is perfect for them.

Well, this we agree on.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to tamaka)
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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 6:07:16 PM   
Wayward5oul


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Joined: 11/9/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Okay... lets make this really really easy...

Wayward5oul, you've several times now made references to what doormats are, and what they aren't.

So please describe a person you'd label a "doormat" for me.

I will do that, but it will have to wait until tomorrow. I have family life that requires my attention right now.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 455
RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 6:07:36 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyblinker

I'm pretty sure I'll get shit on, but I have to say... I'm not completely sure that some people in this thread are clear on how the whole 'social construct' line of reasoning works.

I don't know how anyone could argue that if a baby is born a boy, it doesn't mean that from birth everyone around him is going to be steering him in a certain direction-- his room will be painted blue, they'll buy him boy toys, dress him in boy clothes, etc. However, he is obviously still physiologically different from a girl. The question is exactly which aspects of who he becomes are due to conditioning and which aspects are due to biological programming.
Well that question was pretty comprehensively answered by the David Reimer case. An appalling example of malpractice in which an absolute nut of a gender theorist engaged in criminal child abuse to support his theory of gender neutrality. A boy was reassigned as a girl and all the external validation in the world did nothing to persuade him that he was a girl. It ended with his descent into depression - and ultimately suicide.

The proposals of gender theorists who assert that trans children should be given hormones is nothing less than wholesale unmitigated child abuse. They should be jailed.

quote:


I get that men are often physically stronger and also think differently from women, but I honestly can't imagine anyone arguing that the social dimensions of a person's being (including relationships, sex, friendship, etc.) aren't heavily influenced by their upbringing, their neighbors, friends, the media, etc. All of this 'alpha and beta' shit that originated in the PUA community isn't really supported by science-- in fact, it has been thoroughly debunked even with regards to animals.
No. It hasn't. And pickup artists get laid. A lot. This offends the delicate sensibilities of feminists, but it's a reality they're just going to have to gain the strength to deal with.

quote:

As society changes people adapt to it, and that means our concept of what is attractive to us evolves as well. Maybe when we were all huddling in our caves, terrified of predators, we felt the need to have a big strong protector (and the protectors got all the vag as a reward), but we're not living in that type of society anymore. Evolution isn't about ascending a pre-established hierarchy, it's about adaptation... and the funny thing is, most of the men who go to dominatrixes are really successful in their life-- I mean, we're talking about executives and entrepreneurs who make millions.
Evolution is about reproductive success and our psychology doesn't suddenly change because we're no longer living in tribal societies.

quote:

In our society, wealth is probably the closest thing we have to an objective measure of success... the image of the working class tough guy who will fight for your honor is pretty much a running joke at this point. Bill Gates isn't exactly a manly man, but he is undoubtedly what billions of people aspire to be.
No, people aspire to be actors, not rich nerds. This is why celebrities exist.

quote:


I honestly feel like all of this 'alpha male' shit is like a consolation prize rooted in the wealth gap-- insecure men who couldn't possibly hope to get to the top of their field instead start working out, talking tough and use sex to prove to themselves that they can 'succeed' socially. They know they're losing their economic power over women, so they change the rules of the game and focus on ugly forms of manipulation and meaningless sex, rooted in a hopelessly backwards narrative that combines nostalgia, pseudo-science, self-help and more often than not, right-wing politics/fascism.

The worst part is that they're actually better off than the guys who are simply lost/defeated... so they think they're right.
Meh. You don't understand it and you're terrified of the world it implies. A world where the spoils go to the victor and where the strong dominate the weak.

In other words... the real world.


_____________________________

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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 6:08:46 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

then the society will descend into Bacchanalian anarchy

Sounds good to me.
Societies without laws are where the strong enforce their will upon the weak. Are you happy to become a possession?


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

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RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 6:11:07 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

Now what's getting me here Ishtar is that if you've put up with this crap so much then why are you willing to allow tamaka to perpetuate it just because she's spouting it at men?

Well I personally think it is because she shares that general view of submissive men, but unlike Awareness and tamaka, she is not willing to say as much openly. However, that is just my impression.

Now myself, on the surface, I agree with them in as much as I have no real desire to submit to a woman, I do have a desire to submit to a man, but that is not due to any gender essentialism, or some idea of the innate superiority of men, but rather the fact that my cunt likes it that way, it turns me on, it makes me feel good. I mean to be honest I am both smarter and more competent in daily life than either of my fellas, which is why they have delegated the handling of our overall finances, and such like to me. Not because women are better at that than men, but because I am better at that than them.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

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Profile   Post #: 458
RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 6:13:25 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

then the society will descend into Bacchanalian anarchy

Sounds good to me.
Societies without laws are where the strong enforce their will upon the weak. Are you happy to become a possession?


Oh dear, you don't even understand your own simile. A Baccchanlian anarchy does not imply a society without laws. But really, thanks for trying.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 459
RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? - 11/7/2016 6:18:08 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
Personally, if a slave's Master has them serve them as a doormat, i see nothing wrong with it. The purpose of a slave is to please their Master and serve them well, and the Master is the one who gets to decide whether a doormat is perfect for them.

Well, this we agree on.




Oh... thank God! : )

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 460
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