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NookieNotes -> RE: Don't Women Want The Same Things As Men? (11/9/2016 3:27:06 AM)
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ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick
quote:
Actually it doesn't take dominance. It requires self-control, dedication, and generally sacrifice to do so. These are also what it requires of men, by the way.
So, if there is anything dominant or submissive about child rearing, it is more on the submissive side as the parents puts the needs of the child above their wants and desires. And again, this submissive behaviour applies equally to men and women.
However, this whole approach is silly, as there is nothing inherently dominant or submissive about such interactions.
I disagree. And the reason I disagree is twofold:
How I define dominance and submission within kink relationships and the hierarchy of priorities that go with them.
Basic understanding on dominance in the animal world, and how it effects behavior modification.
To clarify, in my view the relationship of dominance and submission as many practice it is not one on inherent inequality, but desires. Submissives wish to be led and give responsibility to another, and dominants wish to lead and take on that responsibility.
In my view, the dominant's ideal priorities are (in this order):
1. D's needs
2. S's needs
3. D's wants
4. S's wants
The submissive's ideal priorities are:
1. S's needs
2. D's needs
3. D's wants
4. S's wants
This covers 99.9% of situations that a couple is likely to run into in life. It is not meant to cover people giving their life for another, etc.
And thus, the d, or parent must take care of their own needs first (so that they may take care of their children), but also put their children's needs before their own wants, while leading and taking responsibility for their behavior.
That is my personal view.
Now, to basic understanding of dominance in the animal world: a parent/pack leader gives dominance/leadership/instruction. The better they are at balancing these things while caring for the needs of those they protect, the better overall survival.
And those they protect (their children and submissive followers) need this leadership. You can see how a lack of dominance/leadership in a child's life or a dog's life will often lead to developmental issues, psychologically and physically.
A mother for the good of her children must be dominant/lead her children.
This by no means implies that she be dominant to anyone she considers her peers, whether male, female or other gender. It simply does not track. Many very submissive women who are (to use the cliché term) doormats can also raise their children quite adeptly with dominance and leadership.
quote:
ORIGINAL: tamaka
...if the shit hits the fan and a society with strong men come up against our nation and we have mostly weak men... we are all screwed.
EVERY society has mostly submissive men. and women.
The nature of dominance is that there are fewer leaders than there are followers. It's actually necessary to BE a society that functions. Otherwise, we are nothing but a collection of random tribes warring with each other.
So, having more followers than leaders is actually advantageous for our society, to a point.
One of the things that makes the US as great as it is is that we do have a lot of leaders, and more new ones every day. It's our leaders (of both sexes) that build businesses, create jobs, and bring new ideas to light. It's our followers who work in those jobs, support the leaders, and help bring those ideas to fruition.
NONE of those people are inherently weak or strong. They are leaders or followers, and may be either, regardless of where they are in the pecking order.
And being a leader at work, or in the military does not necessarily equate to being aleader at home. Making our country richer, more productive, or more safe does not mean that they want to take charge of their loved ones.
Some are in 100% equal relationships, MANY balance their heavy burdens in public with a relationship where they can cede control.
Balance.
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