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RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 12:00:56 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge

Distinction without difference.

When I was growing up, we had a word for these kinds of females.



Michael


Well, I call 'em whores... what did you guys used to call them?



Because I grew up in NYC and we have some interesting accents (dropping "R"s, being the most prevalent one), we wound up calling them: "Hoowuhs"



Michael

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Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 12:09:23 PM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline 		That may be the case, but that wasn't clear to me from the way that it was explained. It came across to me as though she expected a "gift of appreciation" each and every single time they would see each other. That is different from looking for a partner who is simply generous and appreciative because of who they are and how they feel about you. Making it into a requirement for a relationship on a schedule (the way it comes across) is different from having a partner who really does appreciate you and chooses to express it through gifts, money and items of monetarial value.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta


quote:

ORIGINAL: MoxieMcfly
Indeed. That is why 200 or a thoughtful gift in exchange for a relationship where he is the sub is an incredibly vague agreement.


Bringing a gift for your Mistress is not an exchange any more than your husband gives you sex in exchange for making him dinner.
She is not becoming his Mistress on the condition of the gift or money, he is expected to bring her gifts because she is his Mistress. Expecting an open ended "gift" is a poor way to run a business, by the way. If she would only be his Mistress on the condition of the gift, you can be sure she would have specified clearly what sort of things were and were not acceptable. That she hasn't tells me she wants him to put in the effort to find her relevant and pleasing presents, not just go to the store and pick up her groceries or give her money to spend wherever.




(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 12:30:51 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		You're not wrong about her expecting a gift each time they see each other, but that's irrelevant. Husband could be giving you sex every night you make him dinner. There is likely a schedule for sex and a schedule for dinner. In D/s we like having clearly defined expectations. Vanilla tends to shy from those in favour of being inoffensive.

It needs also be pointed out that this is only a relationship in the sense of you having a relationship to the person who is your yoga instructor or your accountant. It isn't deeply personal, by the OP's design. So the sole requirement for this relationship is he follow is her rules and she tells him what she wants him to do.

(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 12:37:30 PM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

You're not wrong about her expecting a gift each time they see each other, but that's irrelevant. Husband could be giving you sex every night you make him dinner. There is likely a schedule for sex and a schedule for dinner. In D/s we like having clearly defined expectations. Vanilla tends to shy from those in favour of being inoffensive.

It needs also be pointed out that this is only a relationship in the sense of you having a relationship to the person who is your yoga instructor or your accountant. It isn't deeply personal, by the OP's design. So the sole requirement for this relationship is he follow is her rules and she tells him what she wants him to do.


It isn't personal by the OPs design? I am not sure what you mean?

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 12:49:07 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		OP doesn't want a personal relationship (dating, friendship etc) that has D/s in it (which is fine since that's what he wants). He specifically seeks out Dominant women for the one sole purpose of acting as their submissive and being trained as such. That's not a "personal relationship". It's a "personalized" service relationship, if I have to put a term to it, where it matters to him that he is attracted to the Domme in particular, but really he cares more about "being her submissive" than about her. This has been evident in all his posted "troubles". He approaches these women as a means of expressing his "submissive nature" and experiencing submission, not as actual people he connects with and wants to do things for. So he really cannot expect them to value him as a companion/friend/boyfriend since he does not establish those connections with them, nor does he appear to want to.

(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 1:06:46 PM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline 		As I said in my previous responses, one of the benefits of a Pro Dom is that you are paying her not to consider you for a relationship. But he says he is not looking for a pro-Dom, he is looking for a Ds relationship.

What did he say that implied he prefers a Ds arrangement that is not a relationship or that he doesn't care about her? He seems confused over seeking a Ds relationship and being required to purchased gifts for the privilege? He even said that he would be willing to buy gifts and give her money, but it was making it a requirement that confused him. I wrote an earlier response about the difference between pro Dom and Fin Dom, but that was a few pages back...

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 1:18:22 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		MoxieMcfly to meet me it costs one muffin/cake - if they cannot afford it I buy...you understand nothing. My words and time are always free and I have scattered those about the four corners and all of time.

To talk to me costs "persons" reality, all of it. Anything less I view as doomed and destined to surround itself by enable/enablers...explains a lot eh ;)

train you fill me with the mirth do you


I am a man and like eye pictures, curious you went with scabies toes malarkey..oh my! I offer my soul in its entirety, i may scud the lookers bottoms with my slippers/sandals and......But at the end of the day i cannot train people not to put their manky toe pictures up. I will for gold. Do you have gold?

waffle aside i was mulling over a foot thread as I have simply seen so many manky feet pictures today (you were not the origin)...right I am going to do it..

< Message edited by WickedsDesire -- 10/30/2016 1:25:35 PM >

(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 1:43:33 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		Actually, the benefit of a pro Domme is that she will do exactly as you fantasize while pretending it's her idea because that's what you want.
FinDommes are in a fetish where they get off on receiving or "tricking" money from their slaves.

The word relationship is confusing because of the possible levels of connotations. The OP's MO indicates he considers a D/s relationship to be where the woman is naturally a Dominant person and not just putting on an act or following a script for his benefit. Boys usually mean this when they say "relationship" in this context if they do not mean a romantic dating relationship. They think in this sense they are not imposing on someone for a service or experience, because this person would act this way anyway, naturally, towards any guy who wanted to be her sub.

In all of OP's stories, he jumps straight to submissive play with these women. He takes no time to be their friend. He picks them, and he picks them deliberately for what he feels are their potential to fulfil the role of his fantasy Domme. He is happy as long as he gets to feel "submissive" on his terms. He is not unusual, nor necessarily immoral, but people like him, and there are lots of them, think "relationship"and "lifestyle" is code for "free" the same way some think "kinky" is code for "slut".

(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 1:55:09 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		One(sock) above me. Op exists to ask many variants of this question over and over again. Perhaps his dik of feeble gets hard...his point/existence escapes me so I have no need to add more words...but i always wondered why the cash parasites outnumber the actual genuine women on this place, only this place by a volume - see i pay attention at a rate of 4-5:1.

And make no mistake even the "genuine" financial monsters on this place I have viewed with a curiosity and wondered why they have been bewitched, nay thrashed, with the ugly stick

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 1:59:09 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		I don't know if they do actually outnumber the real people, but that they try harder than the rest of us to find men could have to do with it lol

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 2:19:30 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		1. Scotland
2. London
3. New York

I am surprised you know the time of day mess of a fuking sock. 6:1 or 40:1...i am all for explaining maths, just not to barren concepts, but you will find my figures not incorrect dude, with the maggot like penis.

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 2:24:15 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		Sorry, you've lost me there.

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 2:36:12 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline 		Yeah that happens a lot with him.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 3:12:17 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		I lose 99% on here at reality - behold thy two of idiots of the value known as shag all.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 9:56:12 PM   
ilovestarbucks


Posts: 86
Joined: 9/12/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta
OP doesn't want a personal relationship (dating, friendship etc) that has D/s in it (which is fine since that's what he wants).
????That's why people go to BDSM functions. To develop friendships and relationships with like minded people. Relationships that have D/s in it. If I don't want a relationship that has D/s in it I wouldn't be going to BDSM functions. I would join POF or match.com.

He specifically seeks out Dominant women for the one sole purpose of acting as their submissive and being trained as such. That's not a "personal relationship". It's a "personalized" service relationship, if I have to put a term to it, where it matters to him that he is attracted to the Domme in particular, but really he cares more about "being her submissive" than about her.
????Submissive women specifically seek out Dominant men at BDSM functions and on this site for the sole purpose of being his submissive and trained as such. A submissive woman isn't interested in spending too much time with a submissive man because that's not what she is looking for.

This has been evident in all his posted "troubles". He approaches these women as a means of expressing his "submissive nature" and experiencing submission, not as actual people he connects with and wants to do things for. So he really cannot expect them to value him as a companion/friend/boyfriend since he does not establish those connections with them, nor does he appear to want to.
????With this particular woman, I approached her at the BDSM function and she immediately addresses herself as, "Mistress XYZ." She talked a lot and I listened to her. I answered when she asked me a question. She is looking for an exclusive submissive and told her I want to be trained to be her submissive. All the women on this site complain that ALL submissive men just want sex, or some type of it. I told her I'm not that type. She was happy that I wasn't looking for those sexual activities.


I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU GET THESE CONCLUSIONS

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 10:00:11 PM   
DomStrictMale


Posts: 97
Joined: 6/17/2014
Status: offline 		ProDom, FinDom, Gold Diggers, Hookers....all the same thing in the end. Women selling sex or sex fantasy or quasi-sex for rent money. :)

(in reply to ilovestarbucks)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/30/2016 11:40:22 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ilovestarbucks
I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU GET THESE CONCLUSIONS


Maybe if you take your fingers out of your ears and your head out of your ass, then actually try to take in what is being said, you would.

Of course you won't go to POF or match, it's not "hardcore" enough for you (there is a very active BDSM hookup culture on POF and match). But the context there was that you wanted just a D/s experience and not a personal relationship with D/s in it. That's why you gravitate towards the insta-Dom situations. You say you go to munches to make friends, but it seems like you're only really there to meet women and find a Domme as opposed to socialising and not looking for a woman who could make you feel like a sub.

Actually, if you listen to the female subs looking for or in relationships, they always date their potential Doms first before jumping into the D/s part. In fact, from listening to you, you have shown no actual interest in these women as people. Zero. You can't even think of one thing this particular one might have liked for a present!

There's also the argument that if you had wanted a personal relationship (that eventually becomes D/s), you would not be looking for the types of women who look at you right away as a insta-sub and jump immediately into being their "submissive". You may not think it, but that is what you are doing.

That's how.

(in reply to ilovestarbucks)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/31/2016 5:39:08 AM   
MoxieMcfly


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/26/2015
Status: offline 		The same is true of okcupid, last time I checked. It usually matches me with people I already know from fetlife/munches.

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/31/2016 6:10:24 AM   
Wayward5oul


Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MoxieMcfly

The same is true of okcupid, last time I checked. It usually matches me with people I already know from fetlife/munches.

I see it easily on OKC, they hae varied options for types of relationships and a lot of questions that are steered towards kink preferences. But I haven't seen those things on POF. How do you come across that?

(in reply to MoxieMcfly)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: The Difference Between Pro-Domme & Women Who Charge - 10/31/2016 7:58:00 AM   
cloverodella


Posts: 133
Joined: 8/8/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ilovestarbucks

We've been talking and I told her I would like to be trained as her personal pet/slave.
I'm not looking for sexual intercourse, no BJ, no HJ, no "release" on my part. I just want to be trained and be in an authentic D/s relationship with her.

Yet, this person interprets it as me asking her for specific sexual activities![/color]



You want her to sexually dominate you, or you would not be at a BDSM event. That you won't stick it in any of her holes or find release does not make make the whole thing any less sexual. A D/s relationship is a dynamic between partners of Dominance and submission, so yes, wanting to be "trained", "her pet", or "her slave" are all specific BDSM activities that not everyone into D/s is interested in.


(in reply to ilovestarbucks)
Profile   Post #: 80
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