Wayward5oul
Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
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ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick
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A submissive can mean a lot of things.
Correct, and all those meanings will carry the concept of following the lead of the dominant.
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It may mean someone who is submissive in general.
And they follow in general
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It may also mean someone who submissiveNess depends entirely upon their partner.
And they follow their partner's lead.
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It may only be in the bedroom.
And they follow the dominant's lead only in the bedroom
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It could mean a lot of things.
Indeed it could, and yet all those meanings carry the sense of following the lead of another.
I stated from the beginning that saying that a submissive is a follower implies a general personality trait, one that I in no way applies to submissives in general, without adding caveats to make it more applicable. What you added above are basically the caveats I was referring to.
A person who is submissive in general may follow others leads in many areas of life, not just that of a dominant in a relationship.
A person who is submissive may only be submissive within an intimate relationship with a dominant, and she will follow his lead within that relationship, yet in other areas of her life she may have a role as a leader.
A submissive may only be submissive in the bedroom, where she will follow her dominant's lead in the bedroom.
Now, just saying that a submissive is a follower completely ignores all these variations and the many others that could be added with a little more time.
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Regardless, I would hesitate to use the word "follower" to refer to myself
Aha! And here we have the crux of the argument. You do not like the word because to you it has a negative connotation. Be that as it may, that does not actually change anything.
I don't see it as a negative connotation. Its yin and yang. If there were no followers, there would be no leaders. There are certain areas of my mundane, daily life that I choose to be a follower in, just because of the convenience factor for me, so that I may conserve my mental and physical energy on the areas that I feel I need to be the leader.
The reason that I stated that I would hesitate to call myself a follower, is because of feedback I get from others around me. At work, when we are given team-driven projects, I am always given a team-leadership position by my supervisors. When we are asked to designate leaders ourselves, it ends up being me. When that isn't happening, I am coming up with my own initiatives to propose to administration or volunteering for whatever else is going on.
When I first joined the kink club out here, everyone thought that I identified as a dominant. I don't play at the club, just socialize, so they had nothing to go by except my personality and behavior. From that, it was assumed that I was a domme, until I started making friends with them on fet and they saw that I identified as a sub. Even then, some told me that once I got into things and really started playing, that I would probably come out as a domme. But I won't. Don't wanna and not gonna.
With the right person I will follow their lead in the bedroom, and I hope to one day find someone who wants to and can push me enough to take it out of the bedroom and expand it into more areas of my life. I hope to be a follower in more areas of my life than I am now.
So no, being a follower is not a negative connotation to me. I just truly don't believe that it can so easily be applied as a catch-all definition of submissives.
But there are areas of my life that I will always be the leader, and I want and need it to be that way.
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RE: People with submissive profiles denying they are su... - 
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