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LadyPact -> RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone (12/26/2016 3:09:57 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Because it isn't just another kink like spanking. It's a highly charged emotional trigger.
As such, it's much closer to rape play. In that if you're going to do it in a public space, you need to warn the DM and/or host about it and let them decide that you need to take it to a private space instead. Or that it won't be permitted in the club because you're driving all the other attendees away and ruining their business.
You have every right to do what you want in your own home. But you do not automatically have the right to do controversial edge play in front of people whose only option is to walk and not return. It's simply rude to spring it on people without warning.
In my experience as a DM, this isn't quite what you alert the DM for. Really, as long as something isn't disallowed according to the dungeon rules of the establishment, it's pretty much fair game. (I actually have a part that I include when I'm giving DM classes that says, if you can't hack watching certain kinds of play, you're not cut out for a DM slot.)
The reason you want to give the DMs/staff the heads up about any kind of extreme play, isn't because of the concern that people will leave or it's 'too edgy' to have in the dungeon. It's because some types of play are more prone to have attendees attempt to interrupt the players because they think something is wrong. So you have either a) folks who come to the DMs asking if we're aware of scene X or b) you'll have folks who think they are good Samaritans that will step into the scene, trying to stop it. You have to watch for that kind of stuff, especially for things like resistance play, etc.
Truthfully, in my opinion, if people go to a public dungeon, you always have to go with the understanding that you might see anything that isn't specifically disallowed. There's almost always a social area that you can retreat to if something in the play area makes you uncomfortable. When you are talking about a public dungeon in a major city or something at a huge event where there are hundreds of people, you can't possibly forewarn every person who enters the play space. I'm not advocating intentionally triggering people, but those same people came to the play space knowing a variety of types of play are going to be happening. It's not all going to be things like light spankings and bondage.
ETA - Ha! We must have been typing at the same time. [:)]
quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Years ago some part owner of a dungeon down south threw a tantrum because he had bought himself an authentic Nazi storm trooper outfit and the other owners decided he couldn't wear it there. They were solely concerned with the bottom line. And a majority of the patrons were squicked by this and announced they were resigning as members. He didn't get it, that he couldn't force people to pay money to be uncomfortable and not enjoy themselves. He really thought it didn't matter.
Running a dungeon is a business. It's a lot easier to have people stop going, without telling the owner why. At which point you're heading for bankruptcy.
Any small business owner knows that one bad review outweighs a dozen good ones.
And this applies to running a kink business also. I don't know how many times I've seen a single woman say she won't ever go to another munch because she went to one and got hit on heavily.
If wherever the op was playing found that people didn't want to watch these scenes, I'm sorry for her. But she can. Always negotiate to play like this in private. Nobody is stopping her or saying she's wrong. They're simply saying that unless she rents the club for aight, she can't do it there.
Does it turn the club into kink light? Maybe, but if the owner prefers having a club filled with stand and model types to no club at all,that's their business. Literally.
Ya know, I've never seen this happen. I mean, I've seen people do the Nazi uniforms and such. Even one presenter that does one heck of a WWII presentation that is a huge hit. What I mean is I've never seen a club or event boycott over it. Do you happen to remember the name of the club? It might make for an interesting read if I could find some material.
I fully agree that these places are businesses and you can't run the thing just out of the goodness of your heart. I'd probably have to go with, if something is a problem, get it in your dungeon rules, so you have a standard to work with. No, you can't always have every kink and any kink in a public space because a happy medium as to be achieved, somehow.
Do you want to know the one that came up a few years back that turned out to be really difficult at a small group? Believe it or not, diapers. Not just the wearing of diapers, but (sorry to be crude here) "use". Frankly, he couldn't understand that soiled diapers smelled and we couldn't have that at play parties where the space didn't exactly have great ventilation. Eventually, we had to talk to him and put it under the "no scat" rule.
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