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Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 2:05:39 AM   
NerdsThunderCat


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Joined: 11/30/2014
Status: offline 		I am no longer a raceplayer because of all the kink shaming I had to deal with. Also it is soo much stress on a relationship to have to be kinky, and hide your kink for other kinky people. in fear of rejection and being cast away .


even more on my mind tho .... what makes people believe it's ok to engage in verbal raceplay with some who just. Simply Announced that they are interested in that sort of kink. like why is it so much more of a taboo, and a huge portal for abuse from strangers?

And something I feel is almost impossible to get other people of color to understand or not judge?
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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 2:14:57 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
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quote:

like why is it so much more of a taboo, and a huge portal for abuse from strangers?

because it taps into people's innate racism, and many people are reluctant to admit that they are in fact at all racist. It makes them feel guilty.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 3:51:48 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		To OP

Actually I personally see no issues in race playing, if it's mutually consensual.

I think generally, one thing I learn about bdsm community is that, it is no less judgemental than vanilla community, because kink spectrum so wide that some kinksters still act like vanilla folks when faced with unusual kinks.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 12/26/2016 3:52:30 AM >

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 4:20:24 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		even more on my mind tho .... what makes people believe it's ok to engage in verbal raceplay with some who just. Simply Announced that they are interested in that sort of kink.

Unfortunately, when you list a kink, or that you are submissive or Dominant, a lot of people don't understand that, even if that activity or orientation is something you like, that doesn't mean that you'll indulge it with everyone.

Basically, consent is given for the activity but not necessarily for who gets to do it with you. That's too complicated for some folks.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 4:37:30 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		Hasn't a scoobie what raceplay is.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 7:26:56 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		Is anyone actually going to tell me what this is? Or shall I go get my birch.

lets see what the googles say https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/raceplay
raceplay
English[edit]
Etymology[edit]
race +‎ play

Noun[edit]
raceplay ‎(uncountable)


(BDSM) A form of sexual roleplay in which the players act out racially-charged situations, such as slave-master relationships.  [quotations ▼]

Christ on a bike - i am sure they just make these fetishes shit up not that the actual definition makes any sense.

< Message edited by WickedsDesire -- 12/26/2016 7:27:51 AM >

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 10:02:50 AM   
DocStrange


Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NerdsThunderCat

I am no longer a raceplayer because of all the kink shaming I had to deal with. Also it is soo much stress on a relationship to have to be kinky, and hide your kink for other kinky people. in fear of rejection and being cast away .


even more on my mind tho .... what makes people believe it's ok to engage in verbal raceplay with some who just. Simply Announced that they are interested in that sort of kink. like why is it so much more of a taboo, and a huge portal for abuse from strangers?

And something I feel is almost impossible to get other people of color to understand or not judge?


Race play is a fairly common kink. There is nothing wrong with it as long as the two people playing consent to it. It is really sad when others attack your kink. While your kink may not be another's kink, they should respect it is your kink. If they do not respect your kink then it shows what type of person they really are and obviously a person you do not want to play with or even be friends with.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 10:11:06 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

If they do not respect your kink then it shows what type of person they really are

Yeah? Sorry but that is just "community" bullshit you tell people to make yourselves feel better about yourselves. I am pretty sure that if somebody came along with a kink for little kids you wouldn't be respecting their kink.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 10:44:43 AM   
DocStrange


Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

If they do not respect your kink then it shows what type of person they really are

Yeah? Sorry but that is just "community" bullshit you tell people to make yourselves feel better about yourselves. I am pretty sure that if somebody came along with a kink for little kids you wouldn't be respecting their kink.


There is a huge difference between kink and a pedafile. There is also a huge difference between kink between consenting adults versus raping a kid. It is sad you do not understand that.

There is nothing wrong with kink between two consenting adults.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 11:02:28 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

If they do not respect your kink then it shows what type of person they really are

Yeah? Sorry but that is just "community" bullshit you tell people to make yourselves feel better about yourselves. I am pretty sure that if somebody came along with a kink for little kids you wouldn't be respecting their kink.

You're having another "Dafuq??" moment. You're having a lot of them lately. Please see someone about this.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 11:21:58 AM   
CaptR


Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NerdsThunderCat

I am no longer a raceplayer because of all the kink shaming I had to deal with. Also it is soo much stress on a relationship to have to be kinky, and hide your kink for other kinky people. in fear of rejection and being cast away .


even more on my mind tho .... what makes people believe it's ok to engage in verbal raceplay with some who just. Simply Announced that they are interested in that sort of kink. like why is it so much more of a taboo, and a huge portal for abuse from strangers?

And something I feel is almost impossible to get other people of color to understand or not judge?

What I find interesting is you state other people of color have issue with your chosen kink. Given the history of slavery here it's understandable they could find it distasteful. That does not allow them the right to judge your choices. Race play is just that, play. If indulging trips your trigger that's wonderful. How a previous poster equated it to being a pedophile is confusing but we all have our opinion. Also, race play need not have anything to do with racism. Aren't both parties consenting equally? Last I looked a very key aspect of racism was inequality.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 11:37:13 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick
I am pretty sure that if somebody came along with a kink for little kids you wouldn't be respecting their kink.

I personally always view the whole daddy little girl kink, to be the kink for little kids, but to play it out in a legal way. Thus having a grown woman dress as a child and behave like a child.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 12:35:32 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Because it isn't just another kink like spanking. It's a highly charged emotional trigger.

As such, it's much closer to rape play. In that if you're going to do it in a public space, you need to warn the DM and/or host about it and let them decide that you need to take it to a private space instead. Or that it won't be permitted in the club because you're driving all the other attendees away and ruining their business.

You have every right to do what you want in your own home. But you do not automatically have the right to do controversial edge play in front of people whose only option is to walk and not return. It's simply rude to spring it on people without warning.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 12:55:33 PM   
CaptR


Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
Status: offline 		Where are the Jefferson's and Bunkers when ya need em? ok that was sent early. Revised edition ;
Lighten up. I agree it could be as I said distasteful to some and public play may not be prudent. I didn't see anywhere in the OP's post where public play was mentioned. It can offend yes but so do many of our kinks. Race play is also reversable. How many whites in our lifestyle are exclusively "Black owned?" I being a white male take no offense although I know some black women who might. The choice is individual as you've agreed. It bears discussion before subjecting others unwittingly, yes. One of the questions here is why is it so volatile here? Were supposedly a community accepting of people's differences and tolerant if not encouraging of their legal personal choices. Oh the humanity (or lack thereof)! :) When it is treated as mainstream the taboo hopefully will be a thing of the past as with everything. Those who approve will indulge those who don't, just as with rape play - won't. To the OP, if you enjoy what you do and you've willing informed participants don't stop. Your basket of fun is maybe edgier than some but no less valid.

< Message edited by CaptR -- 12/26/2016 1:29:19 PM >

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 1:00:32 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

There is a huge difference between kink and a pedafile.

Really? And what exactly would that huge difference be? can you actually articulate it? I strongly suspect not.

quote:

There is also a huge difference between kink between consenting adults versus raping a kid.

That's funny, nobody said anything about raping anybody, and yet that's where you go.

quote:

It is sad you do not understand that.

And here you are proving my point by shaming a kink.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 1:03:24 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

If they do not respect your kink then it shows what type of person they really are

Yeah? Sorry but that is just "community" bullshit you tell people to make yourselves feel better about yourselves. I am pretty sure that if somebody came along with a kink for little kids you wouldn't be respecting their kink.

You're having another "Dafuq??" moment. You're having a lot of them lately. Please see someone about this.

No darling, I am not. I am just making a point you are unwilling to entertain because it challenges one of the shibboleths so popular in the "community" that is more honoured in the breach.
But hey, that's OK, don't think about what I said, nobody actually expects you to do that anyway.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 1:06:56 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NerdsThunderCat
I am no longer a raceplayer because of all the kink shaming I had to deal with. Also it is soo much stress on a relationship to have to be kinky, and hide your kink for other kinky people. in fear of rejection and being cast away.

I can kind of get this. Ya know, I sat here thinking for a few minutes trying to remember the last time I actually saw anyone engaging in any kind of overt race play at a kink venue and I have to admit, it's been a while. It's probably kind of a pain in the butt because not all observers will understand that it is people engaging in their kink, rather than somebody being subjected to racism as we normally think of it.

And yeah, I kind of agree with the comment that it does make at least some people uncomfortable. Same thing happens when people conduct certain kinds of role play scenes about religion or D/lg rape play scenes. The areas where the real life stuff (meaning not a kink, but where people are harmed) most people are opposed to it. Can't really say I know the best way to address that.


quote:

even more on my mind tho .... what makes people believe it's ok to engage in verbal raceplay with some who just. Simply Announced that they are interested in that sort of kink. like why is it so much more of a taboo, and a huge portal for abuse from strangers?

Yeah, I'd probably hate to see some of the sh^t that you receive in your email.

The sad fact of the matter is that there are idiots on the internet who seem to think that if a person mentions they are into a certain kink, that automatically means that any random person can attempt to engage in that kink without the person's consent. Happens a lot to women who are into receiving any form verbal humiliation, objectification, and so on.

quote:

And something I feel is almost impossible to get other people of color to understand or not judge?

I'm even less help in this area. You're certainly not the only race player out there.

Have you tried some of the groups on Fet? I suggest it mainly because there are a lot more posters there and forums dedicated to just this thing. It might be a good resource.


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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 1:41:36 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I personally always view the whole daddy little girl kink, to be the kink for little kids, but to play it out in a legal way.

I personally always view you to be an idiot. Posting things like this just confirms it.

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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 1:45:31 PM   
DocStrange


Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

There is a huge difference between kink and a pedafile.

Really? And what exactly would that huge difference be? can you actually articulate it? I strongly suspect not.

quote:

There is also a huge difference between kink between consenting adults versus raping a kid.

That's funny, nobody said anything about raping anybody, and yet that's where you go.

quote:

It is sad you do not understand that.

And here you are proving my point by shaming a kink.


You are the one who brought up kink with little kids:
quote:

Yeah? Sorry but that is just "community" bullshit you tell people to make yourselves feel better about yourselves. I am pretty sure that if somebody came along with a kink for little kids you wouldn't be respecting their kink.


This is not a kink. Its sick, illegal, immoral and you are the one who brought it up. I did not go there, you did. I have never heard of anyone in the community condoning a pedafile. You specifically wrote kink with little kids. Not age play but kink with little kids. Sorry Dizzy, but that is wrong no matter how you try to twist it.



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RE: Why do raceplayers get so much crap from everyone - 12/26/2016 1:52:25 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

There is a huge difference between kink and a pedafile.

Really? And what exactly would that huge difference be? can you actually articulate it? I strongly suspect not.

I'll take a shot at it.

Wouldn't you have to say that the whole difference between kink and criminal activity is the basis of consent? When we start talking about underage people, that tends to be lacking because they haven't reached the age of maturity to fully comprehend what they are consenting to. We seem to have come to the conclusion (in the USA, anyway) that comprehension is at eighteen.

Ha! There's a whole thread running in P&R right now about university students being punished for something they did and in those 200+ replies, you'll see plenty of folks trying to excuse the behavior because they are 'just kids'.

quote:

quote:

There is also a huge difference between kink between consenting adults versus raping a kid.

That's funny, nobody said anything about raping anybody, and yet that's where you go.

Well, as soon as the word pedophile comes into it, going there is the logical conclusion. Kind of have to go with the definition.

quote:

quote:

It is sad you do not understand that.

And here you are proving my point by shaming a kink.
Nah. Still have to say we're looking at the difference between kink and criminal. Ethical kink at the very minimum.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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