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RE: Telephone fun..... - 8/1/2006 8:58:27 AM   
Eriayasha


Posts: 46
Joined: 10/23/2005
From: Florida now!
Status: offline 		Gawd, those middle-of-the-night-and I'm-asleep calls are the worst. Especially when its the work phone.

My classic answer is "What's on fire?" That usually makes people pause. Although, I've been known to use "Who's dead?" at 4am.

Best answering machine message? The one no one ever left a message on!
"Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6 simultaneously.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell
you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.
No one will answer.
Leave a message."


_____________________________

Unofficial Loudmouth of the Orlando Munch.
______________________________________________
Official PITA owned by Torville.

(in reply to SenpaiandMia)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Telephone fun..... - 8/1/2006 9:14:38 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		We actually one time took about 3 hours to make the following message:

Hello, you have reached the _________ residence.  Unfortunately, we are unable to come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we will get back to you as soon as possible.

In the background, there were 2 people arguing, screaming, yelling, and finally, gunshots.  My mom quickly decided this was not appropriate, mostly because it was pretty damn realistic and it freaked her out.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Eriayasha)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Telephone fun..... - 8/1/2006 10:17:03 AM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		my message says you have reached ____ mail box, me and my phone are tempereraly seperated leave a message and ill get back to you whe I find my phone

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Telephone fun..... - 8/1/2006 11:19:53 PM   
fyrekittyn


Posts: 282
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: Memphis, TN
Status: offline 		omg benji! You are so bad!

_____________________________

Whip me, spank me, beat me, fuck me, all if it and more!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, come on now. You can hit harder! *THWACK* OW! BASTARD! See, I was right!
~~~~~~~~~~~
fyrekittyn - the sweet, innocent, angelic, virgin princess!

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Telephone fun..... - 9/6/2006 1:23:03 PM   
command01


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/22/2004
Status: offline 		when i had an answering maching i used     ya got big al's grill and bordillo where we serve everything hot 

(in reply to DameDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Telephone fun..... - 9/6/2006 1:55:44 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Hello you have reached the White House, George can't come to phone right now as he is tied up. <take mouth a bit away from the phone and you hear me yell> HEY George you FUCKING slut!~ Don't untie those restraints you little frilly pantied bitch!

I don't get many messages, just alot of hangups...

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to command01)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Telephone fun..... - 9/6/2006 2:16:19 PM   
newdombbw


Posts: 84
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		(Using Fast Reply)

I'd taken my husband in for chemotherapy and then gone to see my own doctor.   Turns out he was ready early and I'd missed a call from the nurses to come pick him up.  So, the next day ......

I was home paying bills while hubby was at chemo again and the phone rang.  I KNEW it was the nurses again, so I answered the phone:  "Heaven, one of the angels speaking ..........."  DEAD SILENCE - turns out it was an evangelist calling to read me scripture.   I tried to explain, but still ....................  TOO funny for words !!!!!!!!

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Telephone fun..... - 9/6/2006 2:20:20 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I'd run with that - you had a good thing going by accident, so proceed to put them through to God, have him explain that the Jews are right, and damn him to hell.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to newdombbw)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Telephone fun..... - 9/6/2006 2:41:53 PM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		Cremation 5th floor how may I help you?

and it's a classic..ha!
I was at school once n we were in this other class's room n this girls mobile rang n the teacher picked it up n answered it with that exact sentence..gosh I couldn't believe he was gonna do that..but yup it's a classic, at least here

(in reply to SenpaiandMia)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Telephone fun..... - 9/6/2006 3:59:00 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		Hi, you've reached the phone of ______________.  I'm either A... working, and cannot get to the phone... B....At karaoke, can't HEAR the phone....C.....Sleeping, the phone is turned off....or D....having sex.  Yeah!  like I'm really going to answer the phone... name, number, brief message.... and if this my mom... love ya! (BEEEEEEEEEEP)



edited to correct that damned i before e thing...

(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Telephone fun..... - 9/7/2006 7:07:05 AM   
aslv2kneel


Posts: 28
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline 		i simply say - ju hav reached julios yard service - this is pablo how may i assist you - the misses is upstairs in the shower - i am sorry - no comprendo - (as instructed) no hablo no hablo no hablo no hablo 


(in reply to SenpaiandMia)
Profile   Post #: 31
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