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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 6:20:49 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Technique, being able to dance or anything else like that is just a small part of it(sex). All the technique in the world, at best, will only make you equal to her $50 vibrator or his $75 autosuck. And God forbid we should have to compete with the horsepower of a sybian!

I mean, I'm glad a lot of you are sluts and all... carry on! But holy crap, the banality and physically crotch-centric focus of some replies makes me wonder why anyone would bother fucking them? Seems like masturbating would be equally satisfying, less work and best of all, their lame wouldn't be involved to spoil it.

The brain is your sex organ and that is where sexual adventure lies, not between your legs, in a dance move or the ability to do the "lick the alphabet on her clit**" technique. Sure, technique helps. I have seen a lot about technique in my life... sex workshops, parties, documentaries and a plethora of books... but mankind hasn't invented any new techniques since I turned 14 years old. And from what I read, even when I was 14, those books were about thousand year old techniques.

So if you connect with their mind, get them to open up and reveal their desires - be they dark or otherwise and light their passions on fire. . . then you can lick the alphabet, deepthroat a cock, drain'em dry with your Kegle moves or helicopter the pussy with your cock. That's when your sexual adventure is better than a plastic vibrator.

** "lick the alphabet" is from a Sam Kinison story


_____________________________

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I give good thread.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 6:32:31 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Technique, being able to dance or anything else like that is just a small part of it(sex). All the technique in the world, at best, will only make you equal to her $50 vibrator or his $75 autosuck. And God forbid we should have to compete with the horsepower of a sybian!


Well, technique is actually better than a 50bux vibrator and a 75bux autosuck and will be much better than sybian.

I give you one example of superior fucking techniques that destroys the sybian. A man who could feel for the gspot on the tip of his dick and contort his body to angle his cock to religiously hit your gspot everytime he pumps, regardless what position you wanna fuck. That's one example of technique no toys can compete. I had a man like that, and I was super duper impressed as usually most men that penetrate miss the gspot, they are just pumping blind, and they only know how to control speed and strength of pump. But nothing more complex than that with their cocks.

WD, I think you'd be please to know this dude with out of the world fucking techniques is scottish :).

But seriously when you go into technicality of sexual skills, there is a whole lot of things in there to learn.

Good mental connection, bad sexual techniques, or incompatible sexual techniques, I wouldn't want to say the word 'bad', as take for example, if some women don't get anything out of their gspot being stimulated, then it doesn't make a difference if you pump hitting her gspot or not. And not every woman gets high from gspot stimulation.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/24/2017 6:35:42 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 8:09:21 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Technique, being able to dance or anything else like that is just a small part of it(sex). All the technique in the world, at best, will only make you equal to her $50 vibrator or his $75 autosuck. And God forbid we should have to compete with the horsepower of a sybian!


Well, technique is actually better than a 50bux vibrator and a 75bux autosuck and will be much better than sybian.

I give you one example of superior fucking techniques that destroys the sybian. A man who could feel for the gspot on the tip of his dick and contort his body to angle his cock to religiously hit your gspot everytime he pumps, regardless what position you wanna fuck. That's one example of technique no toys can compete. I had a man like that, and I was super duper impressed as usually most men that penetrate miss the gspot, they are just pumping blind, and they only know how to control speed and strength of pump. But nothing more complex than that with their cocks.

WD, I think you'd be please to know this dude with out of the world fucking techniques is scottish :).

But seriously when you go into technicality of sexual skills, there is a whole lot of things in there to learn.

Good mental connection, bad sexual techniques, or incompatible sexual techniques, I wouldn't want to say the word 'bad', as take for example, if some women don't get anything out of their gspot being stimulated, then it doesn't make a difference if you pump hitting her gspot or not. And not every woman gets high from gspot stimulation.

And that is a perfect example of my point. Technique is nice, but it is a bonus not the perquisite. Without the mental connection, like knowing if she is gspot, clitoral or both, is the point. The focus is mental first, technique comes after. Otherwise you are fucking the hell out of some dead meat that doesn't appreciate the fact your great technique is being spent in the wrong way and the wrong place.

_____________________________

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I give good thread.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 8:28:05 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Have, and would again.

Also the subtle slut shaming in this thread is killing me.

Here's what it is for me. I love figuring out a person in bed. I like variety. Monogamy has always been a real challenge.

Masturbation is great, but not much variety. A real warm body, with weight and deep breathing. I live for that shit. PLUS I'm a sub, like half my satisfaction with sex is fucking getting the other person off. I like the rush of finding out what's under someone's clothes. I like giving oral and making the other persons toes curl and ankles sweat.

While my mind is a sex organ- and connection is great and all- and I have regularly great sex and kinky sex with my guy and that's very fulfilling. I also like some more spontaneous discoveries. While I admit that usually a one night stand is not really get too kinky with, and for me that requires more trust, but I still get the same amount of fulfillment from some good old fashion in the moment passion with someone I don't know as well. I don't have to love someone to fuck them. Sex isn't an expression of love to me. It's an expression of lust.

I love my dude. But I know our sex life routine. Even if he is a bit surprising- we are just very efficient with our sex life- and while that's great and all- I also enjoy a messy, hands up your shirt, don't even have time to take off your underwear, thrilling first sexual encounter with someone.

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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 8:37:15 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
And that is a perfect example of my point. Technique is nice, but it is a bonus not the perquisite. Without the mental connection, like knowing if she is gspot, clitoral or both, is the point. The focus is mental first, technique comes after. Otherwise you are fucking the hell out of some dead meat that doesn't appreciate the fact your great technique is being spent in the wrong way and the wrong place.

But when it is about techniques, then part of techniques is diagnosing what rocks her world the most and then able to have the skills to apply them.

It's like if you were professional in any field. You need to diagnosed the illness first, and then give appropriate treatment right?

That's the whole skills and professional technique part.

Nothing to do with mental connection. A doctor doesn't have to mentally connect with you to give you the right treatment. He just needs to ask the right questions to apply the right treatments to his case.

I think alot of people don't really look at the clinical side of sex, but seriously, as I said, sex is technical.

But I am coming from an angle of casual sex. So emotion has nothing to do with it. Take out emotion, how do you make sex great? Technical skills.

And when I even think about BDSM, techniques and skills are actually important in terms of trying create or elicit something out of someone. From being able to inspire obedience, to orgasm control, to using pain to either take orgasms to another level or using pain purely for pain.

It's actually quite technical too. To proper safety procedures of many types of more complicated bondage or needle play, or anything that gets more complicated and possibly life endangering.

And come to think of it, what made me trust my x-dom was his professionalism. Not emotions. His knowledge for safety procedures in play makes me feel safe with him and make me feel I am in good hands with someone who knows what he is doing and won't end up causing real harm to me.



< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/24/2017 8:43:43 AM >

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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 9:02:31 AM   
Chaska


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/15/2016
Status: offline 		Good post RS although, "If I have to explain, you wouldn't understand" might be more
appropriate in some cases. The vibrator analogy was my thought as well, glad I already had my coffee before reading.

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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 9:10:03 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
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From: The Shire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaska
Sexual interrogation is a big turn off, at least for me.

Which is why we aren't sexually compatible and not personality compatible.
That's how I filter. I mean for me, with every 100 men who contacts me, only 1 will be the one that works with me and I will meet. So already through online, I've have filtered through many before I decide to meet. That's why when I meet, I already know I want to know him sexually now, as I already know him deeply as a person.

And the outcome of that, is I end up also meeting men who needs intense mental connection to have a great sexual experience.


I'm with Greta. I think nothing is hotter than enthusiastic consent and clear communication about likes and dislikes and limits. Wether it happens before you meet or as you're taking off your pants.

I'd not get along well with someone who didn't want to communicate those things or thinks that talking to their partner about sex is a turn off.

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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 9:25:29 AM   
Chaska


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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaska
Sexual interrogation is a big turn off, at least for me.

Which is why we aren't sexually compatible and not personality compatible.
That's how I filter. I mean for me, with every 100 men who contacts me, only 1 will be the one that works with me and I will meet. So already through online, I've have filtered through many before I decide to meet. That's why when I meet, I already know I want to know him sexually now, as I already know him deeply as a person.

And the outcome of that, is I end up also meeting men who needs intense mental connection to have a great sexual experience.


I'm with Greta. I think nothing is hotter than enthusiastic consent and clear communication about likes and dislikes and limits. Wether it happens before you meet or as you're taking off your pants.

I'd not get along well with someone who didn't want to communicate those things or thinks that talking to their partner about sex is a turn off.

I think you might have misinterpreted what I said I'm all for communication, just not having to pass a pre qualifying examination. I love me some down and dirty. wink wink


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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 9:42:32 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I want to thank you for your unabashed reply. I love that you shared the development of your thought process with us and how your initial knee jerk response changed as self awareness set in.
quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

You met online. You have the hots for each other. Would you fuck on the first date?


I thought my answer might be no, because I don't think that people should feel that they have to fuck on their first date (or any date for that matter).

Then I reflected on the reality of my life. I don't really do dating as such because I can't be bothered with all the auditioning that people do. I do meet friends for a coffee or a drink, but "dating" to get to know someone or to do the whole accept/reject ritual leaves me cold.

When I think about it, apart from one ill-advised "date" in my teens, every meet up I have that has been arranged as a "date" in my adult life has led either to fucking or some other non-penetrative sexual activity. Turns out that despite what I thought I thought about first date sex, it's something that almost invariably I do.

On reflection, I'm with UllrsIshtar on this. I may meet up with people for all sorts of reasons but if it's a "date", the sexual tension is already implied or absolutely explicit. Getting involved in something sexual isn't inevitable but it tends to be a strong possibility.

That said, I don't date much.



_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 11:29:47 AM   
heavyblinker


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
But I am coming from an angle of casual sex. So emotion has nothing to do with it. Take out emotion, how do you make sex great? Technical skills.


I've always assumed the true appeal of casual sex was either the conquest aspect of it or the novelty of the disposable encounter.

Obviously I don't have your level of experience, but most of the guys I've met who have been big on getting laid with a lot of different people have been serious egomaniacs who tied their ability to get lots of sex to their self-worth.

I guess I sort of thought that their female counterparts were the same.

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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 12:24:36 PM   
longwayhome


Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I want to thank you for your unabashed reply. I love that you shared the development of your thought process with us and how your initial knee jerk response changed as self awareness set in.
quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

You met online. You have the hots for each other. Would you fuck on the first date?


I thought my answer might be no, because I don't think that people should feel that they have to fuck on their first date (or any date for that matter).

Then I reflected on the reality of my life. I don't really do dating as such because I can't be bothered with all the auditioning that people do. I do meet friends for a coffee or a drink, but "dating" to get to know someone or to do the whole accept/reject ritual leaves me cold.

When I think about it, apart from one ill-advised "date" in my teens, every meet up I have that has been arranged as a "date" in my adult life has led either to fucking or some other non-penetrative sexual activity. Turns out that despite what I thought I thought about first date sex, it's something that almost invariably I do.

On reflection, I'm with UllrsIshtar on this. I may meet up with people for all sorts of reasons but if it's a "date", the sexual tension is already implied or absolutely explicit. Getting involved in something sexual isn't inevitable but it tends to be a strong possibility.

That said, I don't date much.




Thanks. I appreciate that.

I'm a bit old-school about the net. I like to think at its best that it can still be about connecting and sharing, rather than just projecting a carefully crafted self image and reinforcing your prejudices.

A bit of emotional honesty and insight with yourself and others never hurt anyone (as long as you don't run away crying at the trolls).

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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 6:02:48 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		You know, I've been thinking about how to answer this question...or whether to at all.

Reaction #1: God, no. I'm not that type of woman. (I'm actually not. It takes months of getting to know someone before it will get to that point.) Come to think of it, the man of the house called me a prude tonight.

Reaction #2: But, I have done it. For example, I'm sure no one that knows how I met Awareness in Hawaii thinks that we got separate hotel rooms when we met at the airport. Even though I knew him for months, it was technically our first "date."

Reaction #3: Fuck it, I'm getting older. If I were single and I felt enough chemistry with someone to even want that on a first date, then sure.

Reaction #4: But I'm also old enough to know that being on a date with someone I'm attracted to enough to fuck would probably be a long shot to begin with. I rarely ever even kiss a man at the end of a date if we're not in a relationship. Sex would be really, really unusual for me.

Reaction #5: Eh. Never say never.


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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 7:05:05 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
Come to think of it, the man of the house called me a prude tonight.

Knowing your man of the house, he precisely loves you because you don't fuck on first date and need time to get there. So I roll my eyes at him calling you prude haha, he wouldn't want it any other way.

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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 7:16:20 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyblinker
I've always assumed the true appeal of casual sex was either the conquest aspect of it or the novelty of the disposable encounter.

Men have casual sex because they do not want relationship commitment, and only want to have sex.

I have casual sex, because I love having sex as a regularity in my life. And I think it was my dream since as a 12 yr old girl, to be a single independent woman with loads of fuck buddies. I was just very sexually aware since I had memories, both with BDSM and just sex. But I got into a long term relationship at 19, way too young and then married soon after, and then spend whole my twenties being faithful to a husband who wasn't interested in having sex at all. So after the divorce, I determine to live out my dream. Be a single woman, with loads of sexual partners, and just enjoy sex for myself.

And at the moment, I have alot of doubts that being in a long term relationship with a man would promise me sex at the frequency I would like to have it. Frequency of sexual interaction is important to me. And I think most men wouldn't be able to fulfill this part of my needs if its an exclusive long term thing as I don't know, in my experience, my sex drive grows bigger, but his will shrink. Even my x-dom who had sex with me 3 to 5 times a day every day without fail, burnt out 2 years later. But I wanted more and more. He was slowing down.
quote:

but most of the guys I've met who have been big on getting laid with a lot of different people have been serious egomaniacs who tied their ability to get lots of sex to their self-worth.

I've never met men who tied the ability to having sex to their self-worth. Men who get sex easily are simply just confident. People with self-worth issues, especially man, will not be able to get sex, seriously. Women are drawn to self-assured confident males.

But in my experience the men who have casual, simply are not interested in any emotional relationship. They want uncomplicated sex without the relationship. It's as simple as that. And I'm okay with that, because I don't need a relationship or to have an emotional connection to enjoy sex. Infact, my personal experience is all my worst sex occur with someone I had emotional connection with. Because I tend to fall inlove with men who don't fit me in bed for some reason. And that is a big problem for me.

And for me every sexual experience has to be great. I plan to build my entire life filled with memories of great sex to look back in fondness with. I'm a sexual being since I was born and I just absolutely love sexual connections. Probably more than mental or emotional connection.

It like the most amazing thing in the world when you meet someone and they just mesh sexually with you perfectly. For me. Out of the world Nirvana experience.



< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/24/2017 7:19:24 PM >

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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 7:27:43 PM   
Greta75


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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaska
I think you might have misinterpreted what I said I'm all for communication, just not having to pass a pre qualifying examination. I love me some down and dirty. wink wink

Ya but now you are referring to wank fodder type of talk.

Now that, will instantly make me dismiss a guy and stop talking to him.

As I am not interested in flirting. I have a very clinical way of matching my sexual compatibility. I agree it will turn many man off, feeling like they are being interrogated about their sexuality, because they want flirty talk. But I'm not into entertaining wank fodder conversations. And it's actually a damn good way to filter for my compatibility. I like men who are extremely technical and want to diagnose me so that they make sure they get everything right in bed that will rock my world too.

My clinical way of assessing them will appeal to a minority of men but finding sexual matches, clearly not every man will be able to please you. You are simply looking for the rare few who are different and who gets you.



< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/24/2017 7:28:25 PM >

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RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 7:45:46 PM   
BitaTruble


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Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I mean, I'm glad a lot of you are sluts and all... carry on! But holy crap, the banality and physically crotch-centric focus of some replies makes me wonder why anyone would bother fucking them?


It matched the banality and crotch-centric question and if a newbie had asked it they'd have been reamed.

You got better answers than your question deserved so quit bitching about it.


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 7:51:40 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I mean, I'm glad a lot of you are sluts and all... carry on! But holy crap, the banality and physically crotch-centric focus of some replies makes me wonder why anyone would bother fucking them?


It matched the banality and crotch-centric question and if a newbie had asked it they'd have been reamed.

You got better answers than your question deserved so quit bitching about it.


Here is this other thing. People who are not "crotch-centric" generally are not the type of people who will fuck on first date. They would be like Kaliko first meeting with Awareness. Where they would even sleep in separate bedrooms and the process of moving to sex will be slow. And because the "sex part" is least important to them, they won't fuck on first date.

People who would have sex on first date, already decided to do it, because the sexual compatibility part is important to them and they probably want to find out ASAP and get it out of the way.

There is no right or wrong answers to fucking on first date. But only basically meeting someone who thinks the same as you about what is an ideal first date. If you meet someone who doesn't fuck on first date and you don't fuck on first date! It's a happy match.
If you love fucking on first date, and you meet someone who is like-minded. another happy match.



< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/24/2017 7:54:12 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/24/2017 9:21:40 PM   
Chaska


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/15/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaska
I think you might have misinterpreted what I said I'm all for communication, just not having to pass a pre qualifying examination. I love me some down and dirty. wink wink

Ya but now you are referring to wank fodder type of talk.

Now that, will instantly make me dismiss a guy and stop talking to him.

As I am not interested in flirting. I have a very clinical way of matching my sexual compatibility. I agree it will turn many man off, feeling like they are being interrogated about their sexuality, because they want flirty talk. But I'm not into entertaining wank fodder conversations. And it's actually a damn good way to filter for my compatibility. I like men who are extremely technical and want to diagnose me so that they make sure they get everything right in bed that will rock my world too.

My clinical way of assessing them will appeal to a minority of men but finding sexual matches, clearly not every man will be able to please you. You are simply looking for the rare few who are different and who gets you.



greta, Please take heart listen and talk less, communication is a means to get to know someone. not everyone is compatible sexually and/or personally such is life. Mutual pleasure is my preference, you're also misinterpreting what said as wank fodder which I have no interest,(at least in the way you take it) try to have a sense of humour. I enjoy the company of people everyday love meeting those I don't know and just let the natural progression of life take place that is where I'm at in my life.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/25/2017 12:37:01 AM   
heavyblinker


Posts: 3623
Status: offline 		Well, I guess as long as you're comfortable never asking why or seeing people as more complicated than they might initially seem, that narrative fits your reality well.
But there's a difference between appearing confident (for at least as long as it takes to get laid) and tying the ability to get sex to your self-worth.

The person I am talking about knew all the right things to say and how to 'get' women, but when he didn't get them, he would break things.
It was even worse if the people around him were getting laid and he wasn't.

It's really not so difficult to suppress one's insecurities around others for a few weeks or whatever, especially when you've practiced your game face forever and enjoy giving people what they expect/want as opposed to who you really are.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: -=Would you fuck on the first date?=- - 5/25/2017 3:29:22 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyblinker
The person I am talking about knew all the right things to say and how to 'get' women, but when he didn't get them, he would break things.
It was even worse if the people around him were getting laid and he wasn't.

Considering my interrogation is on his technical knowledge of sexual skills. I doubt any man would know the "right things to say" with me at all. Any words like, "Babe, Honey, Beautiful" etc, is an immediate no go! So if he tried sweet talking he would fail 100%. He would have to impress with me his sexual knowledge on women's sexuality and how intune he is into changing his sexual style to customised to each unique female sexuality that he has ever dabbled with. Alot of men think one size fits all for sexual skills, that those get eliminated.

Because if they can't articulate it, they have failed. Most men can't. The ones that can articulate it impressively, really know what they are doing and are confident and self-assured. And basically, I hook up with men who gets laid easily and gets laid alot. They are my preferred type as I feel their experience with many different spectrums of women, and IF they are technical about sex just like me, the way they would infused those knowledge to do the right things to me in bed, often just benefits my sexual experience with them.

One of the questions I ask is "What is your idea of a perfect sexual night?" What would your friend say to that?

Very open ended. Chances are, if he can't read my mind, he is gonna give the wrong answer.

And the ideal sexual night is different for every woman. So I will look at if the guy described my ideal sexual night without giving him any clues as to what I like first.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/25/2017 3:42:48 AM >

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