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Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 10:42:16 AM

confusedmaleone

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/27/2006
Status: offline

I am collared to a domme/domme couple. My problem is this, one of them is just inconsiderate. I take care of the house and yard and care for them both. I am the only slave. One of them throws their dirty clothes on the floor and never picks them up even though a hamper is ten feet away. This same one, lets call her #2, leaves the pink wrappers her kotex come in on bathroom floor sometimes, before she just stuffed them in whatever was handy until i asked her to quit.Her beer bottles stay where she had them, her hair brush stays full of hair, if she cleans it she waits to hand it to me, but if it sets with hair in it she says it is nasty.

I can be in the middle of a job and she will just stand and yell my name rather than come get me or get whatever herself. Now i do serve but if i am changing the oil in her car i find it excessive that she expects me to stop and clean up to get her a beer. It is not like she works or anything.

I've caught her reading my email replies to my other Mistress i do not know why she does this, it is not like they are a big secret, i just find it rude.

IF my other Mistress tells me to do a job she goes right behind her and tells me to do it another way, her way, i feel like i am in the middle of a power struggle.

I have spoken to Mistress #1 who cannot see what #2 does, if i bring any of it up i am wrong.

Being the domme does not mean you know everything does it?

What do you think? How do i correct this stuff?

Post #: 1

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 11:02:25 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am not the most experienced woman on here but I will give my $2 worth anyway.

First of all, what you can do depends alot on how the relationship the three of you have has been structured. Do you have the right to complain within this structure?

Secondly, has there been a time set that you are allowed to communicate the things that upset you? A scheduled "bitch hour" so to speak. If so, I would say that it would be the appropriate time for you to CAREFULLY bring up some of the things that are upsetting you.

Depending upon the above, you may have to put up and shut up. Otherwise if these issues are hugely important to you, you may not be in the household for you. I would have hoped you might have had a clue as to how the household operated prior to the collaring and would have taken that into consideration. I have never had a "collared slave" and am not sure if I ever will have. However, if I got to that point I would damned sure have spent alot of time getting to know one another......the good, the bad and the ugly ......before I made that kind of commitment.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 2

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 11:09:38 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

It sounds as if the SlobDomme is in charge and NonslobDomme is letting her run the show. If you've spoken to them both respectfully about it and nothing is changing, you may have to leave their service if you cannot bare it.

Though I would have to say the scene that your describing sounds like what goes on in alot(not all) male/female households on a daily basis with the woman doing all the chores/servicing/cleaning. I guess your getting a taste of what alot of us have bitched about over the years. It's not all fun.

Hope it all works out for you.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 3

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 11:11:30 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

What's keeping you there?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 4

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 11:17:03 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

quote:

I am collared to a domme/domme couple. My problem is this, one of them is just inconsiderate.

Inconsiderate or inconvenient to you? it seems to me that some of this may be inconsiderate, others are just the way she is.

quote:

I take care of the house and yard and care for them both. I am the only slave. One of them throws their dirty clothes on the floor and never picks them up even though a hamper is ten feet away.

Maybe that's one of the reasons you are there?

quote:

This same one, lets call her #2, leaves the pink wrappers her kotex come in on bathroom floor sometimes, before she just stuffed them in whatever was handy until i asked her to quit.

well, ew but again, is it part of your responsibilities to clean up after her? If you asked her to quit and she did, maybe she is open to some changes?

quote:

Her beer bottles stay where she had them

Yea, mine ususally do too...they get thrown in the trash. Good boy.

quote:

her hair brush stays full of hair, if she cleans it she waits to hand it to me, but if it sets with hair in it she says it is nasty.

Having long hair myself, this is something that happens to me as well. I clean it, my boy does...it doesn't matter to me who does it but if he's cleaning, that should be part of it.

quote:

I can be in the middle of a job and she will just stand and yell my name rather than come get me or get whatever herself.

and?

quote:

Now i do serve but if i am changing the oil in her car i find it excessive that she expects me to stop and clean up to get her a beer.

Yea, that's not the way i would handle it most times but then there may be others I do precisely that just because it amuses me to do that

quote:

It is not like she works or anything.

So?

quote:

I've caught her reading my email replies to my other Mistress i do not know why she does this, it is not like they are a big secret, i just find it rude.

Is she allowed to? Does the other Mistress mind?

quote:

IF my other Mistress tells me to do a job she goes right behind her and tells me to do it another way, her way, i feel like i am in the middle of a power struggle.

Are you? Or are you just frustrated with a situation you are not entirely comfortable with?

quote:

I have spoken to Mistress #1 who cannot see what #2 does, if i bring any of it up i am wrong.

So, #1 has no problem with this? Then, it seems like this is ok with them both and it may not be a power struggle at all, you are simply unhappy in the situation you got yourself into.

quote:

Being the domme does not mean you know everything does it?

Of course not

quote:

What do you think? How do i correct this stuff?

Depends...you either have an open, honest discussion and everyone involved clearly outlines expectations and gripes or you move on.

quote:

Depending upon the above, you may have to put up and shut up. Otherwise if these issues are hugely important to you, you may not be in the household for you.

I agree 100%. Some of the behaviors you outlined are not the way I personally do things but then, why were you not aware of these quirks before getting collared? If the situation is intolerable you really only have a few choices: suck it up, leave, compromise.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 5

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 11:26:02 AM

pissdoll

Posts: 343
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline

a pig is a pig, no matter if it calls itself a queen, or a mistress or a domme.

there is no way i would ever submit to a person who doesn't have enough pride to keep tampon garbage off of the floor.

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 6

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 11:46:42 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

Hmmm. I wonder which of our regular posters this is with their shiny new account...

Anywho, you may only be able to 'correct' this situation by leaving. If you live with people who have no aparrent distaste for their own slovenly behavior, there's probably not a lot you can do to change that behavior. If they feel that's what you're there for, well, it looks as though you're stuck. Ultimately, you have to ask yourself if you want to be in service to a lazy slob and decide what's right for you.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 7

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 12:16:07 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

Ms Kat, you stated nicely everything I was thinking as I read the OP.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 8

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 12:16:19 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

This brings to mind a comment that Fox made the other day which was a quote from the New Testament from Jesus: "A slave cannot serve two Masters". He was commenting on the fact that while he can and has bottomed to or topped others he would never submit or serve anyone other than me as long as he was mine.

I think your household dynamics are contributing more to the problem than you might think.

Sounds like a time to have a non-Ds discussion between the three of you. It sounds like you all need to set up firmer guidelines and recognization of who can command you when and how. I can't imagine living in a situation where the owners were contradicting each other in any fashion. The household and personal service matters need to be negotiated if they weren't all ready.

If you are told that slaves don't bring this stuff up, I'd vote for walking away. While it is "common knowledge" that there are more subs and bottoms, quality is very rare. You have just as much a right to a great owner as an owner has to great service.

Just my opinion and experiences on the other side of the equation.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 9

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 12:28:27 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I am going to ditto everything that MsKat posted.
Although I would not handle things this way Myself, and I have personal experience that tells Me that a Dual Domina household can be filled with extra difficulties, did you go into this with blinders on?
You joined the site today with a profile that simply says "looking for help". Did you join the site just to post this whine?
You should have been aware of these things before you signed on. If you weren't, and you can't deal with it, then take your gracious leave, and make sure you are more careful the next time around.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 10

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 12:30:06 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Personally I don't see what's wrong with the slobbishness at all. A bit of it would be considered gross to most people, but let me just say that I put the little girl in Signs to shame with how many half empty cans of Pepsi I leave laying around. It's a weird habit, I don't know why I have it, and I've pretty much considered it incurable unless some serious owner decides to train it out of me. Most people would consider that weird and maybe a bit gross- but it's certainly not life threatening.

The problems you have here are with communication. You need to sit down with EVERYONE and explain that when you're in the middle of a job, it can be very distracting to get the work done to be yelled at and interrupted. Perhaps you can devise a system of "work time" so that you won't be interrupted unless necessary for other things. Also bring up the email question- explain your feelings about the issue. They may both consider it a non-issue and you will have to either accept it or not. But you should certainly say something like "I feel awkward knowing that some of my private space with you becomes shared space." Even in poly arrangements, there usually needs to be some "private space" between each of the relationships that is respected by the others.

Once you've honestly communicated and worked through a few things, then you can see if that clears up your frustrations or whether those clean issues really are part of the problem itself. Don't get your hopes up on her changing her habits in terms of cleanliness- lord knows *I* take advantage of my boys in that sense.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 11

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 12:34:41 PM

MasterRoissey

Posts: 40
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline

Obviously attempt communication forst...that said, if a Dom/Domme/Master/Mistress is simply not meeting your needs ...fire them! Choosing to be in another consensual service means just that!

_____________________________

"I have no hard limits...and yours are only temporary." Master Roissey

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 12

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 12:48:35 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

It's an appalling situation to me personally, but you did allow yourself to be collared to Mistress Oscar and Mistress Felix. It's what's expected of you. It's what slaves do. It's why I'm not one.

However, if you're not happy with the situation, give back the collar, say thanks and walk away. No law is keeping you there.

< Message edited by windchymes -- 7/27/2006 12:50:03 PM >

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to MasterRoissey)

Post #: 13

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 1:16:31 PM

servantforuse

Posts: 6363
Joined: 3/8/2006
Status: offline

i am a slave and have served women that were also slobs. i say quit complaining and remember your place in life. You are a slave and they are your owners.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 14

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 1:28:08 PM

trixr4kids

Posts: 18
Joined: 7/27/2006
Status: offline

You move on to a new home if it bothers you so bad. As a slave you have no choice in any of this behavior she's exhibiting. You are owned property & if she wants you to stop 15 times just to come stand before her and say that's her choice and your duty. Sounds to me like you're not a slave, or a sub, but rather a controlling bottom at best.

This is not meant as an attack, but rather some hard advice for you. If you don't want to clean up behind someone, do what you're told, and be at someone's beck and call then what makes you think you're a slave??

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 15

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 1:30:18 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Well, my view is that this is what you signed up for.

I said yes, for better or worse. I frequently go through small spurts of anger when picking up Master's socks in the living room or other similar items. He will call my name and expect me to be standing in front of him saying, "Yes, Daddy" regardless of what I'm doing. Whenever, anger rears its head, I remind myself that I knew what my role was and what it entailed when I committed myself to him.

That said, there are still things that need to be talked about. There's a difference between being a slob and being a pig. Somethings are just flat out gross. There are sometimes that responding right away isn't feasible. (We had that discussion about those times when I was going to the bathroom)

However, I will tell you that you need to remind yourself why you're there.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 7/27/2006 1:46:30 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MasterRoissey)

Post #: 16

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 1:42:10 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

I am the only slave.

If this is true the only thing which matters in your post is the authority dynamic and what you're supposed to do in the case of conflict. That's going to require a trilateral conference between you all so you are made aware of the hierarchy.

If it's not true, then you need to sit down and spell out, exactly, what rights you demand as a submissive and what you are willing to give up to your dominant partners as well as that authority issue for conflicting instruction. Be aware that what you want is not necessarily what you'll get, so prepare yourself for the consequences.

Good luck.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 17

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 1:57:38 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: confusedmaleone

I am collared to a domme/domme couple. My problem is this, one of them is just inconsiderate. I take care of the house and yard and care for them both. I am the only slave. One of them throws their dirty clothes on the floor and never picks them up even though a hamper is ten feet away. This same one, lets call her #2, leaves the pink wrappers her kotex come in on bathroom floor sometimes, before she just stuffed them in whatever was handy until i asked her to quit.Her beer bottles stay where she had them, her hair brush stays full of hair, if she cleans it she waits to hand it to me, but if it sets with hair in it she says it is nasty.

I can be in the middle of a job and she will just stand and yell my name rather than come get me or get whatever herself. Now i do serve but if i am changing the oil in her car i find it excessive that she expects me to stop and clean up to get her a beer. It is not like she works or anything.

I've caught her reading my email replies to my other Mistress i do not know why she does this, it is not like they are a big secret, i just find it rude.

IF my other Mistress tells me to do a job she goes right behind her and tells me to do it another way, her way, i feel like i am in the middle of a power struggle.

I have spoken to Mistress #1 who cannot see what #2 does, if i bring any of it up i am wrong.

Being the domme does not mean you know everything does it?

What do you think? How do i correct this stuff?

My 2cents...you can leave if its that bad.
If Domme #2 doesnt have a certain amount of understanding,when your busy with something else serve only the One that does.

It seems like your plate is too full and you need to communicate that to your Dommes.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 18

RE: Slob of a Mistress? - 7/27/2006 2:11:12 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: confusedmaleone
I am collared to a domme/domme couple. My problem is this, one of them is just inconsiderate. I take care of the house and yard and care for them both. I am the only slave. One of them throws their dirty clothes on the floor and never picks them up even though a hamper is ten feet away. This same one, lets call her #2, leaves the pink wrappers her kotex come in on bathroom floor sometimes, before she just stuffed them in whatever was handy until i asked her to quit.Her beer bottles stay where she had them, her hair brush stays full of hair, if she cleans it she waits to hand it to me, but if it sets with hair in it she says it is nasty. I can be in the middle of a job and...[blah blah blah]

My sentiments align with those of the very astute MsKatHouston. Additionally, you appear to be receiving treatment fit for a slave. If you do not identify as such, then I can perhaps see a place for you to stand and quibble over your treatment. Otherwise, it would appear you are indeed confused.

< Message edited by amayos -- 7/27/2006 2:22:50 PM >

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 19

RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 2:26:07 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

It sounds to Me like you didn't have all the facts when you signed on for this. Maybe you just didn't care if one of them wasn't neat and tidy, you know, head full of fantasies and all that. And things just didn't turn out to be all sex all the time with the 2 women of the house. There's real service involved, actual work, and now you aren't sure that you wanted to actually do some work that was outside of the bedroom.

What to do about it? I'm sure you already know what you are going to do about it.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to confusedmaleone)

Post #: 20

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