Miserable profiles (Full Version)

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northernwench -> Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 6:46:07 AM)

I'm astounded by the number of profiles that begin with the sentences 'Im sick of timewasters, sick of nobody understanding me, where are all the polite/decent/ worthwhile people out there'

Has it EVER occured to anyone concocting these profiles that there is no bigger turn off to a potential viewer than a stream of self-pitying dialogue as an introductory statement?

You have to wade through an awful lot of  people you will not click with in order to meet one that you will. Such is the nature of the beast. You are simply alienating yourself from anyone with a positive attitude when this is how you introduce yourself; as a defeated, miserable and cynical person glaring at all potential companions with a critical gaze.

Truly, Catch 22.



nephandi -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 6:49:19 AM)

i agree, negativity breeds negativity and a possitive profile is that mutch more apealing.



AnAtlantaDom -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 6:51:20 AM)

TA DA!!!
 
Why would anyone want to meet such others as you so well discribe?  I know I prefer a positive person as well.



LaMalinche -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 6:52:15 AM)

All right!!!

Another one for my list.

One more person with less than ten posts and it is a complaint about profiles and the people on this site.  This dissertation is going to be great.

If you do not like what you are reading in the profiles, stop reading them.

BTW. . . my profile does not say anything like that.




nephandi -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 6:58:21 AM)

It do not realy matter how many posts she has. i dont wish to be rude, but many are contact seeksers that use the forum little, and her complain in my opinion is valid.



MissTlTTYMilk -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:00:22 AM)

i already posted a message on a similiar topic, but i just have to add:

i have found everyone to be quite sincere on Collarme.  However, when i see a negative profile that states there are so many fakes, wannabes, etc., i feel the person is only stating that many people become disinterested in him or her quicker than most. i am sure that is not his or her intention by issuing the complaint, but i have only found sincere people--compatibility is a whole other issue.



northernwench -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:00:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche

All right!!!

Another one for my list.

One more person with less than ten posts and it is a complaint about profiles and the people on this site.  This dissertation is going to be great.

If you do not like what you are reading in the profiles, stop reading them.

BTW. . . my profile does not say anything like that.




The profiles I see are the ones that pop up when  I log on. So on average, one or two a day. Hence, there is an evidently large amount of them, by the law of averages, unless collarme is pre-programmed to only show me the very miserable ones on the opening page when I log on.

I am delighted that yours apparently reads nothing like that.

Once I make more than ten posts, can I then say what I like? I must have missed the small print when  I logged on saying I could only post about episodes of Bagpuss and fabric conditioner until then.




AnAtlantaDom -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:01:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche

All right!!!

Another one for my list.

One more person with less than ten posts and it is a complaint about profiles and the people on this site.  This dissertation is going to be great.

If you do not like what you are reading in the profiles, stop reading them.

BTW. . . my profile does not say anything like that.




I wonder if maybe you are a bit quick to judge based on that criteria.



LaMalinche -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:10:28 AM)

Northernwench,

I suppose the "before ten post" comment is much like your comment on miserable profiles.  I see many people making complaints that seem to paint all collarme members with the same brush, as one of their first posts. 

Does it mean that you cannot do this?  Nope.  Go right ahead, it is a free site. 

I do think that a better suggestion is that you read more of the forums and perhaps select those profiles you want to see based on what people post. 

AnAtlantaDom,

Okay. . . so I am quick to judge based on that criteria. . . do you want to be the pot or the kettle today?  You did judge rather quickly that I was quick to judge.  But, please stick around, I am sure that you will come to see what I see.

Nephandi,

I truely think that you are a darling.  But these threads are started several times a day.  Valid point or not, it is a form of "preaching to the choir." 

Have a great day!

Did everyone here. . . Today has been  proclaimed Lolita Day!!!   Yippee!



agirl -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:12:29 AM)

 LOL........If these people have had enough negative experiences to profile themselves that way, then why not?..........It may not be something that makes positive  reading for you (or even me) ....but then .....I haven't HAD their experiences.

Maybe it's important enough and a big enough issue for THEM.

On an *informative* level...........it gives a small insight into how many people DO have negative experiences.

agirl



AnAtlantaDom -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:14:43 AM)

I feel no compulsion to defend what I said.  It is just my opinion, just as you have yours, LaMalinche.



northernwench -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:17:35 AM)

Malincha, everybody is new to the site at some time, and hence starts posting somewhere.

There was nowhere in my post that said it was true of all collarme members, I asked why there were so many miserable posts, which is a tad different from saying 'you collarme lot are a miserable load of toads.'

I am fascinated as to why people feel that by portraying such negativity will somehow bring them the people they want in their lives, when they are setting off on the wrong foot to begin with.

Its possible to have a bad meal in a thoroughly good restaurant, first impressions count. Otherwise those are the ones you remember.

Acknowledging that many of these posts exist isnt dissing this site..regardless of how many posts anyone makes. And if you dont like the tone of mine, as you suggested with my comment on profiles, the option is not to read, of course.



northernwench -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:20:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

 LOL........If these people have had enough negative experiences to profile themselves that way, then why not?..........It may not be something that makes positive  reading for you (or even me) ....but then .....I haven't HAD their experiences.

Maybe it's important enough and a big enough issue for THEM.

On an *informative* level...........it gives a small insight into how many people DO have negative experiences.

agirl



I understand that frustration. But the truth is, it has the opposite effect that they would like. In a crowded room, you veer towards the smilers, not the sad faces, no?



AnAtlantaDom -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:26:26 AM)

I think I will bow out of this thread since my preferance is positive people and influences.  Be well all in your search.



agirl -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:29:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: northernwench

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

 LOL........If these people have had enough negative experiences to profile themselves that way, then why not?..........It may not be something that makes positive  reading for you (or even me) ....but then .....I haven't HAD their experiences.

Maybe it's important enough and a big enough issue for THEM.

On an *informative* level...........it gives a small insight into how many people DO have negative experiences.

agirl



I understand that frustration. But the truth is, it has the opposite effect that they would like. In a crowded room, you veer towards the smilers, not the sad faces, no?


If profiling that way is positive for THEM at this stage, that's what MATTERS to them. It means not a JOT what you or I think is positive or helpful etc.

I agree, in principle, to your point........but I also am not privy to the primary reasons that people profile that way.

Maybe being *prickly* suits them, for the time being. Who knows.

agirl



cloudboy -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:33:36 AM)


In the past there have been threads about the difference / dividing line between bitchiness and dominance. Your observation kind of points it out. In general, its better to state what you do want, do believe, and whom you do like as opposed to "leading negative." Although its against my nature, more and more I'm beginning to see the importance of being optimistic --- as trite as it sounds --- its the attitude of success. I think this plays a large role in one's actual life results.

Anyway, the leading-negative thing on profiles is mostly a female reaction, and I think it comes from the volume of less than inspiring email solicitations they receive. There was also a thread recently about uppity DOM/DOMMES getting insulted by others adding them to their favorites list. Funny stuff.

Lucky for me, my experiences here have been largely positive. (The friends-only approach immunizes one from huge dissapointments.)




amuzingtoyou -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:35:42 AM)

which is worse..the people who post those kinds of profiles, or the people who complain about those people??



gooddogbenji -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:45:11 AM)

Or people who complain about the people who complain about the people who post negatively?

And I'm about to complicate the issue:

I am the person who complains about the person questioning the complaining about complaining about the complaining about complaining about fakes on the site.

And I'm sure someone will complain about me.

Yours,


benji



velvetears -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:49:47 AM)

Whenever i read a profile like that i feel a bit of compassion for the person becasue i know they must have been hurt in the past to have written such a profile.  Then again i am leery because i don't want to be the one put through all the "tests" because others have jaded them.  Actually i haven't seen all that many negative profiles... maybe i don't take that much notice lol??



MissTlTTYMilk -> RE: Miserable profiles (7/30/2006 7:53:02 AM)

What about the people who complain about the people who complain about the people who complain?  my apology in advance, i just had to do it



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