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Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 2:46:10 PM   
melikesitruff


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		i'm afraid to admit that i'm confused.  i have a potential Master, too me, more than potential.  i was of the belief that He wanted me.  i'm very new to this lifestyle but also accept that this is what i have to have.  He is adorable and experienced, i am not so.. need Him to mentor and mold me to make Him happy.  W/e  had exchanges here and outside and even placed a goal for my relocation.  As of the day before last W/e were corresponding and connecting.  He claims that He has meetings/appointments to tend to which i understand being a professional myself, but suddently everything has dropped off to nothing.  He has just "disappeared".  i had dropped my profile in order to show Him my devotion, but after no response for 2 days from Him i have reactivated.  What should i do or think?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 2:48:30 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		2 days doesn't really say much.  Why haven't you called and asked what's going on?  Or were you willing to show devotion to someone you couldn't just call up to chat?

LIKELY though, you got taken for a ride and should take some more time to get to know someone and use good judgement before letting your emotions get the best of you.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to melikesitruff)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 2:55:34 PM   
wantitnow569


Posts: 75
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline 		If You'd like to learn from my experience, count Yourself as grateful.......Because a man (dom, master, or not) who's willing to disappear once will be disappearing a lot more...than pretty soon he'll be "dead".....

(in reply to melikesitruff)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 3:01:06 PM   
melikesitruff


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		L/A i think you are right.  It still does not take the sting away.  At my first posting here, i batted back 5 pages of email a day and to please Him, at his request, i put away my profile picture and i voluntarily took down my complete profile. It has actually been a soleweek, since our first "meeting" if you will but i'm so drawn to Him.  He supposedly  has an active business life, which i can respect, but it is normal for a Master to not let his slave know his whereabouts?  He got really pissed  when i logically managed to figure out that he had   a conflict in timezones when we were corresponding... then again He hadn't told me where he was from the onset.  Just where his home was. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 3:58:08 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Melikesit, I hate to burst your bubble but a lot of MARRIED guys do that for kicks right up until it's time to actually meet in person and then,.....................nothing.
Or excuses or worse.

(in reply to melikesitruff)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 5:37:40 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: melikesitruff

L/A i think you are right.  It still does not take the sting away.  At my first posting here, i batted back 5 pages of email a day and to please Him, at his request, i put away my profile picture and i voluntarily took down my complete profile. It has actually been a soleweek, since our first "meeting" if you will but i'm so drawn to Him.  He supposedly  has an active business life, which i can respect, but it is normal for a Master to not let his slave know his whereabouts?  He got really pissed  when i logically managed to figure out that he had   a conflict in timezones when we were corresponding... then again He hadn't told me where he was from the onset.  Just where his home was. 

It is very normal when you're being taken for a ride.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to melikesitruff)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 6:05:29 PM   
Midearthtrainer


Posts: 67
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		Here is the way I followup on someone that I think is of potential...

We would email through CM(important not to let someone have all your email accounts on the first email)
If we hit it off, then we would progress to emailing outside CM.
If things continued to blossom, then we would progress to phone calls(All the while we would get to know of and about each other)
To get to this point, we are talking about a time frame of and including the word - month(s).
If everything is continuing to blossom from there and is on a solid footing, then and only then, would I consider a first meet.
If things progress from there; then a period of three days to a week is scheduled and contracted.
If things progress from there; a possible longer period is scheduled(all depends upon job requirements and vacation schedules).
Only then; if things were gelling; would relocation be talked about.

These are the way I do things. Not all Doms/Masters do. BUT, to avoid the burn marks, this is something you should consider. Before a First Meet, you should know all about your prospective Dom/Master(including his picture). If you don't, then why are you going out on a blind date?

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 6:08:09 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I swear, one day, Rod Serling is going to come out from behind a curtain and yell, "Suuuurrrrprise!!"

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Midearthtrainer)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 6:14:43 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Unfortunately this seems to happen a lot. There are many, many men who just disappear instead of telling a woman they have lost interest or found someone else more suited, or who are already attached and were just out fishing. I've only been looking for about a year and only met with a handfull of potential Doms (7 in all I think) and four dropped me without so much as a word and one I found out was married. Not good odds.

I'm afraid I can't offer much advice. I'm smarting from the "disappearing Dom" syndrome right now myself. I dunno, but men just think differently and I can't seem to figure it out.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 6:34:41 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		There's certainly a bunch of shifty folks out there, but I wouldn't lay it all on the guys.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 7:15:31 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

There's certainly a bunch of shifty folks out there, but I wouldn't lay it all on the guys.


Well I haven't heard of any disappearing women, sub or Domme. Maybe it happens, but the men don't write about it. Who knows. But it seems to be a pretty common thing that both complain about ie; subs who never show up, and subs complain that Doms disappear on them. Honestly, there's another dead Dom about every other month around here, but I've never read of a woman pulling that stunt.


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 7:24:21 PM   
melikesitruff


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		I've ended a LTR relationship for him..  If He has taken me for ride, I just might have to switch teams, LOL!

< Message edited by melikesitruff -- 7/30/2006 7:25:11 PM >

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 7:34:13 PM   
bandbinohio


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

Well I haven't heard of any disappearing women, sub or Domme. Maybe it happens, but the men don't write about it. Who knows. But it seems to be a pretty common thing that both complain about ie; subs who never show up, and subs complain that Doms disappear on them. Honestly, there's another dead Dom about every other month around here, but I've never read of a woman pulling that stunt.




Well, we actually have had several female subs pull the disappearing act after what seemed like promising discussion that was moving towards an actual meet.

--Becca

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 7:39:55 PM   
utterlybutterfli


Posts: 49
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		Where do any of them go? So often, (Yes,I'm a dedicated lurker) I read threads of this nature. Sadly, today I add myself of the list of people asking themselves the very same question. I met a "wonderful" man, he was actually the first man I met in real time from a website, although, I've had a D/s relationship before. We chatted for hours on msn, talked for hours on the phone and even dated! And yet poof! Gone without a trace! I notice hes been here since he's been gone so at least unlike Wantitnow I don't have to face the distant possibilty, that my Dom is Dead! (I was shocked by that story - perhaps my shock betrays my naivety)

What actually kills me is just the lack of courtesy and consideration for other people's feelings. I think, personally, you don't hear so many stories of women doing this  - simply because a woman is less likely to do it.. So potential Doms, whomever you might be, if you're reading this  and you are faced with a  choice  in the future, to do the right thing or not..I really hope you'll give some more thought to doing the right thing. Cos this hurts - and I'm not talking a nice kind of hurt, either!

(in reply to melikesitruff)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 7:51:03 PM   
melikesitruff


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, wants story is very upsetting but as Wants knows he touched base with me in the briefest manner today.  I put up my profile again and my picture which He told me to remove in particular - not the same one that you see now - and am now dealing with the old 90 year old "suck my ***"  saggy wannabe Doms that think they have a shot.   I don't want to defy Him, but at the same time i appreciate a little communication, not demand, not my place,... but unless He's got a first place life and holds me in second place, with little regard to His slave or potential slave... what am i left to think?  its stupid really, in r/l i'd never be so screwed up by any of this... but i'm reaching out there as a newbian to this lifestyle that i am compelled to follow.....


.....can you say  mind control take over in just a few days of rapid email?  i guess i was ripe for the picking.....

(in reply to utterlybutterfli)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 7:54:28 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I stopped by the other side and see you've been with us for 10 days.  Your post here states a first meet, yet in the same breath a difference in time zones you were unaware of.  Hummmmmmmmmm, if it walks like duck comes to mind.  I'd suggest figuring out what it is you want, online or real time and go from there.


_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to melikesitruff)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 8:03:13 PM   
melikesitruff


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		we had a lot out outside of Cme conversation going... but i'm just going to drop it from here, I want Him but if i can't have Him ....i will go on.....i'd just miss Him.  Other than His absence/silence which will hurt me for a bit,(i prefer the half-full to half-empty version of life) i have been extremely attracted to him and his desires, thoughts, etc. so this will be one of those " you had me at hello" things that will take time to get over.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 8:08:31 PM   
melikesitruff


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		i just received an email from someone suggesting that he doesn't exist and that he may be "Hired Help" to keep the site going and to "bring 'em in".   interesting, not insane.

(in reply to melikesitruff)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 8:14:05 PM   
melikesitruff


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		gotta log for a bit, my desires and want for this change in lifestyle to 24/7 and all this with Him has got me a bit emo.  gotta log for a bit and have a good cry.  be back soon. (its amazing how a little cry can make you feel sooo much better)

(in reply to melikesitruff)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Where Did HE go? - 7/30/2006 8:17:28 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

There's certainly a bunch of shifty folks out there, but I wouldn't lay it all on the guys.


Well I haven't heard of any disappearing women, sub or Domme. Maybe it happens, but the men don't write about it. Who knows. But it seems to be a pretty common thing that both complain about ie; subs who never show up, and subs complain that Doms disappear on them. Honestly, there's another dead Dom about every other month around here, but I've never read of a woman pulling that stunt.


I've met one or three. One was at alt; she had a disturbing habit of meeting up with dominants, then when things went awry, she'd tell anyone that would listen how they raped and beat her. Felt horrible about it the first time, but had a harder time believing as it continued to happen with others. Oh, and she was dying from cancer, too, while all this went on. Time has a way of shining a light on bullshit, and it did with her, eventually.
 
Anyway, I don't want to make it a "who's worse, men or women" thing. A jerk is a jerk, whether in pants or skirt.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 20
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