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If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 11:42:53 AM

trixr4kids

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If your Dom hit you while angry and claimed it was a punishment what would you do about it?

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 11:45:14 AM

littleone35

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I think i would ask for release. I a Dom cannot control hiself anf hit you in anger even if he said it was a punishment. I would think he canot control himself how could he ever control me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to trixr4kids)

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 11:51:20 AM

zumala

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If anyone in a relationship strikes you in anger, it's time to get out of the relationship. They can't be trusted to control themselves.

zuma

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 11:52:03 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: trixr4kids
If your Dom hit you while angry and claimed it was a punishment what would you do about it?

Claimed ex post facto? Then you've got serious problems on communication.

Hitting someone when angry isn't automatically wrong or bad- hitting someone when angry and THEN trying to justify that you somehow deserved it or that it was a reasonable action because it was "punishment" however, is a serious issue.

I'd need to have a long talk with them, explaining how I felt, letting them explain why they felt that was a good method to use with you, see if you can reach an understanding and expectations for what will happen in the future.

If you want anyway. This might be enough of a deal breaker to say just end it now, specially if you have any past history of abuse.

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(in reply to trixr4kids)

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 11:53:48 AM

litleone8620

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I, too, would probably ask for release.

If a dominant can't control his anger enough for him to not hit you while angry, then he can't be trusted to do anything else.

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 11:54:37 AM

DiurnalVampire

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AS a Domme, if I were ever to hit my boy while I was angry, I certainly wuldnt try and explain it away as a punishment after the fact. If I can get angry enough to lose control and act before I think, then there is a problem. In that situation, it is best that one of two things happen. The Dom think about anger control help, since if it happened once, it will more likely than not happen again. You think about wether you can trust him NOT to do it again. It is a bad situation, setting things up for abuse later if the act isnt halted and rectified right away.

DV

(in reply to zumala)

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 12:02:07 PM

LaTigresse

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I don't believe in hitting in anger period. It's just not a good habit to get into.
Okay, I did hit a horse in anger the other day when he was being an ass and stomped down on my bare foot. I slapped him as hard as I could on the shoulder while yelling "you motherfuckerrrrrr!!!!" Somehow I think my hand, let alone my foot, hurt alot more than his shoulder.

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 12:03:32 PM

mstrjx

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I fairly well concur with all of the above.

Dom(me) lesson #1 - Never hit in anger. Always maintain inner control and balance.

Of course we cannot know the entire depth/breadth of your relationship, I think the consensus you fill find here is that a trust issue has been broken. You would not be condemned for going your own way for a bit or ultimately finding another partner.

Jeff

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 1:36:26 PM

Homestead

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*I* would expect to be released if I did something like that.

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 1:36:52 PM

MistressTexas

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I don't think asking for release would have anything to do with it. If someone I submitted to ever hit me out of anger, I would just leave. Plain and simple.

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 2:16:13 PM

littleone35

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What i should have siad is i would ask for release. If it was not granted i would walk out the door and keep walking. I am a sub not a punching bag.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to MistressTexas)

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 2:27:05 PM

bluessss

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If I were hit in anger by a Dom/Master I would ask to be released and if he said no and/or apologized I still would never be able to trust him again. If it happened once, it'll happen again. There's punishment.....then there's abuse and to me hitting in anger is abuse. Get out of the relationship while you can.

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 2:34:55 PM

Lashra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

I, too, would probably ask for release.

If a dominant can't control his anger enough for him to not hit you while angry, then he can't be trusted to do anything else.

I think this sums it up quite nicely and if he gets away with it once, what's to stop him from doing it again in the future?

~Lashra

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 2:50:53 PM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: trixr4kids

If your Dom hit you while angry and claimed it was a punishment what would you do about it?

not enough info to really answer. While punishment is technically acceptable in some Ds relationships, his only fault would be doing it while angry. If he realized his mistake and resolved not to do it again, I would understand that he is human and made a mistake, for which forgiveness would be in order.

If however he was pissed off at me for something, nailed me for it, then shrouded his loss of control to appear to have been a planned out punishment, that would be a different story. He would then be a weakling who didnt have the balls to be honest with me, but worse yet, with himself. *That* to me would be enough to turn me off and lose respect.

(in reply to trixr4kids)

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 5:07:10 PM

Jnj

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I actually disagree with the majority of the posts here. I do not equate hitting in anger with a loss of control. When my owner is angry, he is very deliberate and pointed in his actions and words, even when slapping me across the face. For me to see the hit as a loss of control, I would have to be convinced that his anger led him to hit me harder than or in a different spot than he intended and I would have to leave the situation feeling that his anger clouded his judgement.

With that being said, I would question his ability to control himself if he obviously hit me in anger and then had to couch it in another word to justify it. If there was a point where I felt he was "claiming" something as punishment that I did not take that way, I would be inclined to ask him if we could clarify the word and expectations.

(in reply to marieToo)

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 6:24:07 PM

MmakeMme

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To me, and this is only my situation and not an appropriate response for others, for my Dom to hit me in anger would mean that he considered me to be less precious than the couch pillow he could have hit instead. My Dom knows that I esteem his position and therefore he is keenly aware of my value. He is Master ... but I am his baby girl.

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 7:57:25 PM

Evanesce

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quote:

If your Dom hit you while angry and claimed it was a punishment what would you do about it?

The extreme, knee-jerk conclusions many people tend to leap to whenever striking and anger are put into the same sentence never cease to amuse me.

There are many, many situations wherein the infliction of pain in anger isn't anywhere near abusive. In fact, it's often cathartic. And not all people who strike in anger are out of control.

I have been struck in anger many, many times. One of those who did this was abusive and completely lacking in self control. Another was angry with me, yet his blows were measured and calculated, and the punishment absolutely fit the crime. And one other who did this did so at my own request. I knew he was angry (not with me), and I asked him to use me to help relieve his stress. It was an interesting experience, to say the least, and, in the end, his anger was eliminated and we both wound up enjoying ourselves immensely (not to mention I carried the longest-lasting marks I've ever had afterwards).

Now, if the guy simply lashed out, without any self control at all, and claimed it was punishment later, I'd have a problem with it. Would I leave? It depends upon the severity of the lashing out, and upon the history I'd experienced with him up to that point.

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 8:01:02 PM

Evanesce

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quote:

Okay, I did hit a horse in anger the other day when he was being an ass and stomped down on my bare foot.

OK, I'll admit mine, too. When I was 16, I punched a public riding stable horse in the head because he bit my knee (after having attempted to do the same on several other occasions). He never tried to bite me again, and I rode that horse every Saturday for two years.

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Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 8:31:30 PM

liljeanti

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I would never tolerate anyone hitting in anger so I would just leave and explain to him why I left at a later time. If a Dom were to lose control like that then I could never trust them again.

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RE: If you were hit in anger - 7/31/2006 10:16:24 PM

cheshireboy

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accept the emotion for that is what i am, if i caused Her to be angry, then it is my place to accept that anger and be glad that i am not getting dismissed from Her presense. the nature of my existance is acceptance...a hit is just one emotion and it would never come unless i truly did something to piss her off, therefore i most likely deserve it and would rather have her use me to get that anger out, than to dismiss me from her sight, but naturally, once the jets are cooled off, there would be discussion of the events and how to make sure it doesn't happen again. it would take more than one thing bad to make me want to beg release...everyone is allowed a get out of jail for free card.

cheshire

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