RE: It Ain't Possible (Full Version)

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Evanesce -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/1/2006 8:46:50 PM)

I don't disagree entirely with TreSwank's observations because, for the most part, guys his age are, to quote my father, "young, dumb and full of cum."  Most of them are looking to get laid, and DO find it impossible to be nothing but friends with the opposite sex.  However, I know one young duo who have been platonic friends since high school, so there are exceptions to this general rule.
 
Thankfully, as men mature, it becomes less imperative that they spread their seed throughout the land, and friendships with women become more relaxed and comfortable.  Not to mention common.  In fact, at my age, the primary reason a man isn't friends with a woman isn't because he can't be, but because his wife or girlfriend won't let him be.



TreSwank -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/2/2006 7:35:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: addisonclarkgirl


i have to admit, i have male friends, and i have probably considered having sex with most all of them. 
Anyway, my two cents worth...


      Would ya like to go to the sock-hop with me, Mary Lou?  Well, would ya?



Noah -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/2/2006 10:20:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

      Would ya like to go to the sock-hop with me, Mary Lou?  Well, would ya?


If I thought the little Wankster here was done bouncing on the sofa in his batman underoos and army shirt just to show the grownups what a big bad boy he is I might have tried to steer the thread toward the Important Relationship Style Issue which underlies some of these attempts to talk to him like he's a big fellow.

For the benefit of those of you who missed last month's Cosmo the matter has to do with "lack of ability to form opposite-sex friendships" as an indicator of emotional immaturity, not to mention an indicator of a weak track record in finding well developed, stable people to associate with.

It can be overlooked in a same-sex friend but it is a red flag for me in considering someone as a potential partner. First of all women with no platonic male friendships seem to end up being higher maintenance on average. It makes sense I suppose. If a woman has to look to one man to fulfill the entire range of functions of opposite sex human companionship (aside from sex)--and all that from the man she's getting her sex from...

More importantly, though I have seen relationships wherein lovers were not friends to one another I'm clear that I don't want that for myself. And if the only way you know how to be a "friend" to a man is on your back then I suspect you don't know how to be a friend to a man at all.

In the end I think it speaks to values as well. If you wake up one morning as a responsible adult and realize that you have somehow managed to exclude half of the human race as sources of all the good things friendship brings, and as benficiaries of your friendship as well, well wouldn't you then begin to look at the situation and see what could be done?

Obviously it is very common (outside of TresWank's universe {i.e. dorm}) for men and women to have rewarding friendships. What do you suppose all of us know that has been eluding the single-sexers all their lives?

So should we start a new thread or will someone volunteer to get Wankie's pjs on him and send him up to bed?



joyinslavery -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/2/2006 10:28:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

     Would ya like to go to the sock-hop with me, Mary Lou?  Well, would ya?


If I thought the little Wankster here was done bouncing on the sofa in his batman underoos and army shirt just to show the grownups what a big bad boy he is I might have tried to steer the thread toward the Important Relationship Style Issue which underlies some of these attempts to talk to him like he's a big fellow.

For the benefit of those of you who missed last month's Cosmo the matter has to do with "lack of ability to form opposite-sex friendships" as an indicator of emotional immaturity, not to mention an indicator of a weak track record in finding well developed, stable people to associate with.

It can be overlooked in a same-sex friend but it is a red flag for me in considering someone as a potential partner. First of all women with no platonic male friendships seem to end up being higher maintenance on average. It makes sense I suppose. If a woman has to look to one man to fulfill the entire range of functions of opposite sex human companionship (aside from sex)--and all that from the man she's getting her sex from...

More importantly, though I have seen relationships wherein lovers were not friends to one another I'm clear that I don't want that for myself. And if the only way you know how to be a "friend" to a man is on your back then I suspect you don't know how to be a friend to a man at all.

In the end I think it speaks to values as well. If you wake up one morning as a responsible adult and realize that you have somehow managed to exclude half of the human race as sources of all the good things friendship brings, and as benficiaries of your friendship as well, well wouldn't you then begin to look at the situation and see what could be done?

Obviously it is very common (outside of TresWank's universe {i.e. dorm}) for men and women to have rewarding friendships. What do you suppose all of us know that has been eluding the single-sexers all their lives?

So should we start a new thread or will someone volunteer to get Wankie's pjs on him and send him up to bed?



Said it before and I'll say it again.  DEAD on.  You usually are. 



SavageFaerie -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/2/2006 10:58:11 PM)

quote:


So should we start a new thread or will someone volunteer to get Wankie's pjs on him and send him up to bed?



Noah.....you are usually dead on and I always read your posts word by word.

I would be more than happy to start a thread on this, It could be good for alot of giggles.

What would we do to TresWank tho......upset him or inflate his little ego?? I cant decide



TreSwank -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 6:21:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank


.

In the end I think it speaks to values as well. If you wake up one morning as a responsible adult and realize that you have somehow managed to exclude half of the human race as sources of all the good things friendship brings, and as benficiaries of your friendship as well, well wouldn't you then begin to look at the situation and see what could be done?





     I think that one common mistake that men make is to assume that they need a woman's friendship/personality traits (empathy, interpersonal skills, color coordination) to complete their personalities on an emotional level.  Physically, I think that the womenfolk are all that and a bag of chips, but on a personal level, I also believe that my personality is a complete, self-actualized unit.  I'm a concrete, visceral individual, who doesn't find that much nutritional value in what alot of women have to offer.
       Men who DO feel the need to have friendships with women are those men who LACK emotional completion (although Noah would certainly state the opposite, based on what he read in the relationship section in Cosmopolitan-then, in a condescending, manner, try to play the age card by levelling it at my "emotional immaturity")  These are the same kind of ball-less men that need to be "saved from themselves." 
         TreSwank believes that women have alot to offer the world, but that the dividing line between straight men and women is too distinct for any real emotional rapport to take place.



Homestead -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 6:28:28 AM)

Smiles..it will be interesting to see what happens when you find a woman who has more to offer you than a moist place to bury your cock.



LaTigresse -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 6:32:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Smiles..it will be interesting to see what happens when you find a woman who has more to offer you than a moist place to bury your cock.


The boy is in for a veryyyyyyy rude awakening.



TreSwank -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 6:35:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Smiles..it will be interesting to see what happens when you find a woman who has more to offer you than a moist place to bury your cock.


       Brother, TreSwank can't even live with a woman for two days without a "Texas Death Match" screaming session erupting from nowhere.
       



LaTigresse -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 6:40:59 AM)

Its the ball gag, the woman needs to use a ball gag. Tre, you have to start trolling some smarter chicks dude.



marieToo -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 6:51:23 AM)

Treswank:

I think I already commented on your OP here and I dont necessarily agree with you. 

Im not sure why people who are pontificating about maturity would stoop to a child's level to insult you but I just wanted to pat you on the back for dealing with that in a pretty damn classy way.  I still disagree with you but Im sure your points are valid in your world, which ultimately is the only place that they have to make sense.  You may change your mind someday, however. 



Aileen68 -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 6:51:38 AM)

Personally I think men if they aren't trying to get into a woman's pants are at the very least wondering what she's like in bed.  And that's if he knows her for five minutes or five years.



justheather -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 7:12:59 AM)


quote:


... womenfolk are all that and a bag of chips, but on a personal level, I also believe that my personality is a complete, self-actualized unit.  I'm a concrete, visceral individual, who doesn't find that much nutritional value in what alot of women have to offer.


Im sure you believe your "unit" to be self-actualized, but according to Maslow, who, by the way, never referred to himself in third-person because he knew it was a ridiculous and annoying affectation, the need for self-actualization "...refers to man's desire for fulfillment, namely to the tendency for him to become actually in what he is potentially: to become everything that one is capable of becoming ..." and I highly doubt, based not simply on age, my love, but your own words expressed previously in this thread alone, that you or your one-eyed monster have reached that pinnacle of your personal existence. At least, let's hope not. Sorry to burst your bubble.
               

ps if anyone wants the link to the source Id be happy to oblige.



TreSwank -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 7:18:12 AM)

Referring to myself in the third person is yet another indicator of my self-actualization!  I've found that speaking of TreSwank in the third person is a catalyst for examining his inner-state from an emotionally detached vantage-point. 



Nikolette -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 7:25:25 AM)

Along with everyone else I think it has a lot more to do with the age factor.

I am 22. I have never EVER had a male friend that didn't fall in "love" and want up my skirt. (yeah I wear a lot of skirts) I do not screw most of them, and plent of them have slowly faded out of friendship, and there are a few hanging on, clearly pathetically still hoping to get a piece (I've explained they never will). Now this is true of 18 year old idiots and 47 year old idiots. Thus I conclude that it has a lot to do with MY own age. Most of my younger female friends feel this is true, and all of my older female friends have totally platonic relationships with men. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that more mature women are generally not as subject to being sexually objectified by men. Not that they aren't sexually hot little minxes- just that younger females tend to be more commonly sexually objectified in society and the media.

Now that said...

TreSwank- You have a limited resource of life experience. This is not your fault, you and I... we are both young and mostly stupid still. Our brains aren't even finished developing.... However one thing that I think makes you a limited individual, rather than just someone with limited experience is that you believe that people have friends of either gender because they need to complete something in themselves. Ideally no person uses another to complete themselves, to quote an old boyfriend's mentor "To have any satisfying relationship, you must have two complete people, not two people who are trying complete each other." If one person is not whole in their entity no matter of friends, fucking, working out, buying crap, trying to get in a relationship/laid what ever is going to do the trick, there will still be something missing.

Also, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop refering to females as "womenfolk" it just pisses me off-



SusanofO -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 7:46:14 AM)

I have some good male friends in a social group I organize that goes to dinner on a monthly basis. If one of them doesn't show up, it's a big let-down for me sometimes, just because they are great to talk to and also some are a lot of fun.

That being said, I do agree with what another poster said, that doesn't mean it hasn't crossed my mind what it might  be like to, well, you know...but it's not like I am obsessed with it. For one thing, many of these guys are married. It would be kinda hard to try to pick them up w/their wives sitting there, and that is a big NO for me anyway (these are vanilla folks, they don't discuss, or likely even know what the word "Poly" might mean).

A few weeks ago, a good submissive male friend of mine wanted to well, you know..and it put me in an emotional quandary, because I was really concerned that at some point it would flush our freindship down the toilet. I decided not to well, you know...and he found that kind of comfort elsewhere. We are still friends. I am not sure that's the reason of course, but am glad in that particular case that I didn't risk screwing things up, maybe.

It's not like I cannot be friends with people I am sexually involved in a LTR with (in fact, I consider it mostly a prerequisite for that kind of relationship). But - let's face it- it usually takes the relationship to a whole new level, and that, (I think) can complicate how you see another person, and want to interact with them. I am not saying doing this has to be painful (I think it can be very rewarding). But I do think there are people who blithely think that's just not gonna happen.

I have occasionally in my life had that kind of relationship, but I detest the phrase "friends with benefits" because I think it trivializes both romanitc and friendship relationships, in a way, and I have seen it side-track people from seeking anything more (like a committed LTR, even if they claimed they really wanted one). Although, if it is part of a a process toward a genuinely more committed LTR relationship, it can be a good thing, I think. Maybe it doesn't happen - to some other people. I see it differently, though.

- Susan     



TreSwank -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 7:48:42 AM)

The thing that surprises me the most about this thread is that nobody really commented on the sketchiness of the Nazi propaganda/ gender-relations parallel.



TreSwank -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/3/2006 8:00:08 AM)

By the way, Nikolette.....................I enjoyed your post and found it to be extremely thought-provoking.  Good job!

"Also, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop referring to females as womenfolk."  It took a few minutes of putting on the serious, decision-wrestling game face to make a call, but I'll have to go with "NO" on that one.



Noah -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/4/2006 8:07:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Treswank:

Im not sure why people who are pontificating about maturity would stoop to a child's level to insult you but I just wanted to pat you on the back for dealing with that in a pretty damn classy way.  I still disagree with you but Im sure your points are valid in your world, which ultimately is the only place that they have to make sense.  You may change your mind someday, however. 


What can I tell ya?
Fish gotta swim. Pontiffs gotta pontificate.

Sense of humor at the cleaners?

And yeah. I'll give him props for easing off with his silly posturing and trying to speak sensibly once he'd been spoken to. He is still talking like the picture in the encyclopedia next to the heading: "emotional immaturity" though.

I mean he has clearly read some books--and not just that manifesto thing--and he has presumably heard any number of people refer very plainly to their friendships with members of the opposite sex, yet he discounts overwhelming evidence against his view quite out of hand. He does this with his grand claims which seem to amount to "I can't appreciate a female as anything but a sex object and as it is for me and so therefore this is for everyone else except for fathers toward their daughters, and castrati and whomever else fell into his little categorical exceptions.

He doesn't even take into account the exceptions in his own experience. Or was he really hard and panting the whole time his grandmother was teaching him to crochet?

I suspect he'll change his mind one day too. But he'll have to attain a maturational stage which firstly involves the realization that the world does not revolve around him. Secondly it will involve the development of a degree of empathy. Yelling: "Yeah I know just how you feel you feel just like ME because there is hardly any other way to feel," isn't the degree I'm talking about.

Now marie as for your comment: "I'm sure your points are valid in your world, which ultimately is the only place that they have to make sense."

I'll admit to finding this kind of astounding. Do you see this as applying quite generally or just for Tres?



zumala -> RE: It Ain't Possible (8/4/2006 8:46:20 PM)

Well...  I would simply conclude that any female who wants to be valued for who she is should avoid people like Treswank.  Contrary to (apparent) popular opinion, woman are not vapid creatures with pussies between their legs.  As for your difficulty in getting into screaming matches with women... either something's wrong with your ability to have a relationship with a woman (not really a shocker, given the thread's topic) or your woman picking abilities need a little fine-tuning with a large mallet.  pup and I have inhabited the same space for over 4 years and have yet to have any serious disagreement.
 
My $0.02
 
zuma



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