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Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:04:22 AM   
Carameldomme


Posts: 65
Joined: 11/8/2004
Status: offline 		        I was at a dungeon with friends and a male Dom was teaching me how to double flog/florentine. After about an hour of lessons, I let him flog me partly to have him demonstrate, partly b/c he really wanted to and mainly b/c I LOVE the feeling of the flogger. Then another Dom who was with us (and had demonstrated his florentine skill in the air) asked if he could flg me too, I agreed without hesitation

I  wondered if they too it as a sign of submission, so I posed the question to them ' are you willing to return the favor?'  Neither was. One, who immediately lost all respect, said he'd have to work out an arrangement, but he didn't think I'd agree with the terms blah blah blah. Basically I understood that he'd need me to do something very "subbie"  to assure him (and the rest of our party?) that I wasn't Dommeing him. How incredibly weak.
Further, I understood that when he flogged me, it wasn't just casual play between associates, he felt he was Dominant over me, and I was submitting to him.

Do you believe that being on the receiving end of a flogging (or a spanking, or whatever) indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness? Does it compromise one's dominance?
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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:07:28 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		I know several people who identify as a dominant who also bottom occasionally.  Bottoming has nothing to do with submission.

~stef

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:10:50 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		I don't belive it indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness at all. I've seen Dom/mes be flogged before. There is nothing submissive in any I've witnessed, but rather a favor done for them to have their masochistic need met. In my opinion masochist does not equal submissive. I know several Doms who are masochists, sadists and both, and I know submissives who are sadistic and/or masochistic.

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(in reply to Carameldomme)
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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:12:42 AM   
Roisseynpromise


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline 		Do you believe that being on the receiving end of a flogging (or a spanking, or whatever) indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness? ABSOLUTELY!
Does it compromise one's dominance? THAT IS UP TO YOU. DID YOU FEEL COMPROMISED?

I'm also going to be interested if this one falls according to gender lines...

< Message edited by Roisseynpromise -- 8/1/2006 10:14:28 AM >

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:19:14 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Bottoming, especially as a demo bottom, has nothing to do with being a dominant or not.

That being said, plenty of doms are incredibly insecure and will freak out at any sign whatsoever of being perceived as "not dominant."

As well, plenty of doms just have no interest in it whatsoever.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:25:16 AM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		Honestly befor a Dom uses anything on me Id rather know he has felt it himself... I dont think you can operate an implament if you have never felt its ability

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:29:33 AM   
MasterRoissey


Posts: 40
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline 		so accordingly...all cardiovascular surgeons should have a 5 way bipass?

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:30:24 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carameldomme

Do you believe that being on the receiving end of a flogging (or a spanking, or whatever) indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness? Does it compromise one's dominance?



No... No

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:37:24 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

Honestly befor a Dom uses anything on me Id rather know he has felt it himself... I dont think you can operate an implament if you have never felt its ability


funny... I never felt floggers or paddles or many of the other things that are used on people.  Geezzz just so happens i use them on a few people as well.  mmmmmm gosh do you thing I am operating the implement... or maybe I am just standing their and the implement is doing it all by it self.

*shakes head* 

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:39:24 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carameldomme
Do you believe that being on the receiving end of a flogging (or a spanking, or whatever) indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness? Does it compromise one's dominance?


Firstly, as already mentioned. There is a diffrence between being a Dom and being a 'bottom'...I am not 'wired' that way myself, but I don't see any great contradiction in it. The action does not make the dynamic, the reasons behind the action do. (Oddly though it 'feels' more natural for a Domme than for a Dom, but thats just my own perceptions, not any 'problem' of theirs)

Secondly, whilst I don't subscribe to the old guard "Start as sub and work your way up" method, I do like to have some idea of the physical feeling on the recieving end. A new toy is most likely to be used on my own arm or leg before it touches my girl just so I am doubaly sure I know what safe level of force to use. I know several Doms who do the same. Just one step from there to doing the same thing by getting someone else to weild it don't you think?


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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:46:20 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		What we do doesn't define who we are. I've been flogged, pierced, branded and singletailed. I also enjoy giving and receiving pain during sex. I'm still a Master all said and done.

I've heard it explained well this way, by a man I highly respect (Master Steve Sampson):
Top/Bottom = Inserter/Insertee = physical relationship
Dominant/Submissive = Controler/Controlee = mental relationship
Master/slave = leader and guide/follower and the one who surrenders = spiritual relationship

These definitions work for me. They won't work for everyone, but perhaps they might for you.

Master Fire

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:50:26 AM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		im just saying some as a non masachist that takes spankings as dicsapline not for plessure that if Im gunna be punished with someing if a Dom has felt it he knows how it feels and is better able to deside what to use for the right amount of discapline a well as other reasons

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Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:52:46 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		Once again, I agree with Stef. I love to be flogged, it has nothing to do with whether I am submissive or not. I just love the feel of it

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:56:52 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Secondly, whilst I don't subscribe to the old guard "Start as sub and work your way up" method,


Actually... the Old Guard is "Start as a 'bottom' and work your way up to a 'Top'.  Dom and sub was not Old Guard terminlogy

There is a big difference between a Top and a Dom/me.  Old Guard was all about Play... or as one elder leather man  here calls it.. "Leather Sex".  The D/s dynamics is not an Old Guard thing.  Most of the Old Guard protocals was about the play and as interacting with the community.  The individual relationship dynamics is not a part of the Old Guard.... this is something that has evolved in both the gay and het communities.  It has particularly gained momentum because of the internet.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 10:59:18 AM   
Carameldomme


Posts: 65
Joined: 11/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

A new toy is most likely to be used on my own arm or leg before it touches my girl just so I am doubaly sure I know what safe level of force to use. I know several Doms who do the same. Just one step from there to doing the same thing by getting someone else to weild it don't you think

I did think a bit along those lines prior to the flogging, and *whew* during the flogging, just before I told them to stop.

Roisey - Heck no, I didn't feel comrpomised at all, I was quite annoyed with the other Dom because I believe him to be superficial and closed minded, but I didn't adorn myself with his thinking at all. I learned long ago not to do things based on expecting action/reaction from others. I enjoyed the hell out of myself.

MasterFire, I like the definitions. I don't see that they're particularly useful in tackling this issue (b/c of the tendancy for one partner in a  relationship to be totally along one side[bottom/sub/slave]),  you still have to have it withint yourself to create the separation. In general, they'll be good to keep in mind and I'm sure they can help a person refocus on what her relationship really is.



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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 11:00:56 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for the correction. I'm more used to running into 'evolved' versions 

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 11:00:56 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

im just saying some as a non masachist that takes spankings as dicsapline not for plessure that if Im gunna be punished with someing if a Dom has felt it he knows how it feels and is better able to deside what to use for the right amount of discapline a well as other reasons


this logic only works if we all feel things that same way and that we all can take the same amount...

But fact is...we feel things differently and people can take varing types and amounts of pain.  I think my girls are very appreciatetive that I understand that alandra can take cane strikes that make most run in fear! and that I don't strike krya the same way.  It's called Appreciation of ones Individuality! 

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 11:02:48 AM   
Carameldomme


Posts: 65
Joined: 11/8/2004
Status: offline 		Moga - exactly.

This was my first time being flogged. I don't regret it or think it's a big deal, I'm just wondering what the common perception is. I am frequently disgusted and disappointed by the reaction and words I get from Black male Doms, and sometimes I wonder if much of the D/s world sees things their way.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 11:05:39 AM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		I don't usually bottom, because I have issuses that have nothing to do with insecurity.One, I am claustophobic, so restricting my motions will set off a panic attack. Two, I don't process pain at all-until I go into shock. And I see no validity in passing out and freaking out some poor top.

And I am terribly shy. I don't like public play things-I'm more an introvert. Now I have bottomed in private in the past to learn things. Like play piercing. The tops understood my limits, and that they could not go overboard. It had nothing to do with submission, and I didn't enjoy it.

I did it to be as good a top with women I cared, about as I could be. As far as threatening my sense of dominance? I don't even know what that is. I'm just a guy who likes things a certain way. And if I can get that need met by another, I'm a happy guy.

No need to be a blowfish over it.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 11:06:01 AM   
Carameldomme


Posts: 65
Joined: 11/8/2004
Status: offline 		I think I get what enigma is saying, I just wouldn't carry it that far.
If I were a sub, I'd have to know that my Dom/me knew what a toy was capable of before he used it on me.  For example, a flogger made of different material may hurt more than a regular leather flogger. How much more, and how much pain I can take - that's something you have to experiment to figure out. But, I'd expect that a Domme would at least strike her own hand to understand the toy better.


(in reply to KnightofMists)
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