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Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 1:11:36 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline 		While reading the "What If" thread, this particular comment caught my eye and positively made me Cringe.

quote:

This will never happen to me cause Master and i want to be together forever.


I cannot even Begin to count the times - whether in my own life, or the lives of various aquaintances - that I've seen this sort of comment made.

Do we not all generally go into a relationship thinking "This is the one! This will last until one of us dies of old age. It's gonna be Forever" ?

Is it wishful thinking, naievate` or simply self denial of the various negative possibilities in life that leads us to thinking this way?

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 1:15:41 PM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		people who are in their first intense love/BDSM relationship might feel that way. those of us older and wiser and who have had partners and relationships come and go...know better.

the old saying..the best laid plans of  mice and men go often awry,  is one to remember.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 1:18:56 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I may at some point get into a "Until death do us part" type situation....but forever....heck no...forever is a damn long time and I don't think I want any contract extended out that far!!!!

All joking aside....yes, I thought my marriage was forever....and I also thought my last relationship would be forever. I wouldn't involve myself in it at all if I didn't think it at least had a good shot of going the distance.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 1:24:13 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		I stopped being in love with a fantasy view of dynamics long ago. It was simply too masochistic. I play with fantasies for fun, but I prefer not to live them.

And let's face it, a well structured vanilla life is indistinguishable from D/s in any case.

The only real difference being, there is less ego puffing going on. I find the lack of overblown expectations to be refreshing.


(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 1:24:32 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		It seems to be an easier thing to accomplish if the two are not underfoot all the time, i.e. a traditional marriage relationship. It is easier to remain affectionate when the bills, the garbage, the kids, and the chores don't get in the way. Daddy and I have been together longer than I have been married, and the relationship is fresh and bright and happy each time we meet.

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 1:48:27 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think it's wishful thinking- just positive thinking.

I think it's ok to say "We're going to be together forever" when you've seriously taken things into account and honestly feel that way.

If you change your mind later, it doesn't mean that you were initially wrong, just that who you are has changed and the choices for yourself have changed as well.

Anyway, I've ordered my older partner that he's never allowed to leave me, so it's not a problem. :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 1:50:31 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		Over the years i have learned that change is inevitable; people change, situations change, attitudes and desires change, we are always growing.  As opposed to using the words, "never" and "forever", i tend to use the word "hopefully" alot these days. 

~raiken

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 2:03:44 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		This will never happen to me cause Master and i want to be together forever.

In my opinion its a little naive and makes me think that the person stating this may not have been in many relationships. I once said forever then married the guy, 2 years later we were getting divorced.
It scares me a little when someone tells me they want to be with me forever, it makes me feel added pressure to make the relationship work. 
Its quite a romantic line to use in my opinion and i guess we all like a bit of romance.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 2:06:15 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Himself and I have been together over 10 years. We've weathered births, weddings, death of a parent and a child, personal financial crises, cross country location changes, medical crises and the gamut of what life throws out at you just for being on the planet. Through it all, the only things consistant have been our love for one another and the M/s dynamic which is in place. We still have incredible passion and lust for each other after all these years. Today, I would say that there is little I can imagine that will change anything, but shit happens, so today, we enjoy one another. Today is what we have .. tomorrow.. who knows. I took a vow of 'till death us do part'. It's my intention to keep that vow. I hope that my desire for 'forever' doesn't make anyone cringe, but if it does, so be it. Himself isn't cringing and that's all that really matters.

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 8/1/2006 2:07:55 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 2:26:49 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Don't you all know when someone finds "The One" it is forever even when they change over time.  The love dies.  Hatred enters the scene.  They are still "The One" are they not?

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 2:41:00 PM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		I think it's a matter of commitment to each other.  Pup and I don't have a D/s dynamic because we're both submissive, but we agreed before getting married that the 'D' word (divorce) would never enter our vocabularly.  Yes, we will grow and change.  The key here is that we intend to do so together, intentionally. 
 
I have interests that he may not necessarily be as interested in, and vise versa.  What binds us so close is that we care enough about each other to be flexible.  I spent an entire day being driven around from one Civil War battle field to another a few weeks ago, because I knew that Pup was interested.  I knew I wasn't going to die of boredom and that he would enjoy the experience MUCH more if I didn't mope and complain.  He has been known to make the same sacrifice for me, and we both appreciate the other that much more for it.  I got a smile and lots of affection when he thanked me for going along with him that day with a good attitude.  That's more than good enough for me.
 
Of course, there have been several things over the last 4 years that we've found together and both enjoyed.  That's always a lot of fun.
 
But anyway...  We both made a vow 'til death do us part', and we both meant it.  Whatever happens, we have a strong enough friendship and a close enough bond to get through it together rather than turning away from each other.  That's why I have no doubt that we'll be able to keep that promise.
 
zuma

(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 2:47:05 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		I went into my relationship thinking and hoping it would be forever, As LA said it is positive thinking. I have no grand illusions I know relationships and life take work. Everything isn’t always perfect. Sometimes we are dealt lemons and we must make lemonade. I made a commitment and that means to me, I do everything in my power to make the relationship work.

My questions is why would you go in a relationship thinking anything else ? Isn’t that dooming the relationship to begin with? Why would a submissive/ slave devote her life to another if they didn’t think it could be forever ? I feel the same way about a Mistress/ Masters... Why would they take the time and energy to train a submissive/ slave if they didn’t think it could work forever?

Perhaps I just have a different view then most. I couldn’t enter into a relationship with the attitude that it wouldn’t last forever, because then I wouldn’t give my all. Putting anything less then my all into my relationship is cheating My Master and myself..

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 2:52:19 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMspeach

My questions is why would you go in a relationship thinking anything else ? Isn’t that dooming the relationship to begin with? Why would a submissive/ slave devote her life to another if they didn’t think it could be forever ? I feel the same way about a Mistress/ Masters... Why would they take the time and energy to train a submissive/ slave if they didn’t think it could work forever?

Perhaps I just have a different view then most. I couldn’t enter into a relationship with the attitude that it wouldn’t last forever, because then I wouldn’t give my all. Putting anything less then my all into my relationship is cheating My Master and myself..


You're not alone...there are at least a few of us out here that feel that way. If I want nothing more than superficial play, I'm not going to get all involved in a relationship to get it. If I do get involved in a relationship...you can betcha it's because I think it has the "forever" possibility.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LaMspeach)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 2:55:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMspeach
My questions is why would you go in a relationship thinking anything else ? Isn’t that dooming the relationship to begin with? Why would a submissive/ slave devote her life to another if they didn’t think it could be forever ? I feel the same way about a Mistress/ Masters... Why would they take the time and energy to train a submissive/ slave if they didn’t think it could work forever?

Well I can understand the mindset of a slave who would agree to be owned and know that she could be traded or sold or given away permanently, or who entered the relationship with a set time period in place.  As long as it was understood and agreed upon beforehand.

But I understand the point of "Why enter a committed relationship if you really aren't counting on that commitment at all?"

That also being said, I get annoyed at people who say pre and post nuptual agreements are some sign of lack of commitment. Piffle- people have life insurance not because they expect to die, but because they want to make sure everyone is taken care of.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LaMspeach)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/1/2006 3:11:35 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		Thinking a thing is forever invites a sense of complacency. I want forever to happen because we made it so.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/2/2006 5:49:44 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I happen to be the one that wrote the partiulaur line the reason i did it beause it is true.  Master and i are neither navie,in denial or it is not just wishful thinking.  We know like every relationship there are hills and valleys but we have talked about them and we know if we work togehter we an overcome the valleys.

As for those who think this is my first relationship it is neither my first or his we both have had LTR's before mine ended in death .  We are both old enough to know what we wanted in a relationship and we found it in each other.  We know we will change it is inveitable but we will change together and the love will not change unless its to grow deeper.

So i restate Master and i are gong to be together FOREVER!

Matt's littleone

< Message edited by littleone35 -- 8/2/2006 6:16:33 AM >

(in reply to Homestead)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/2/2006 6:14:57 AM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		littleone35.....huggggs to you.....i have to agree with you......to everyone else...why would we enter a long term relationship without the thought of forever...without the hopes and dreams or without the knowledge that nothing worthwhile is easy. Forever is a wonderful thing!

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: Something to Think About - 8/2/2006 6:17:18 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

quote:

This will never happen to me cause Master and i want to be together forever.



Do we not all generally go into a relationship thinking "This is the one! This will last until one of us dies of old age. It's gonna be Forever" ?Is it wishful thinking, naievate` or simply self denial of the various negative possibilities in life that leads us to thinking this way?


I know i may be the odd man out but i do believe in forever, maybe because i seem to have a sixth sense about a person's rightness for me.

My Master long since in the wind, i knew was forever from day one, we talked on the phone, he picked me up at work the next day i went home with him to his apartment, we packed his shit and he moved in with me, the next day on Christmas Eve i was tattooed with his "property of" 18 perfect years later he left me to ride his chopper with brothers who passed before him on that highway in the sky. If he had not we would still be together.

I am still heart broken that he is gone and i miss him daily, but his passing was meant to be so i could be led to my next "forever", where i am now with Scooter and Jewel.

We talked and emailed for a few weeks, i flew down to be here, i slept with Scooter within an hour of my arrival, and with Jewel within a month of it, i was collared two weeks later though the decision to offer a collar i am sure was made sooner than that, my decision to accept a collar was made the instant i saw them at the airport, i was tattooed about a month or so after that.

Is this forever? I would not have accepted the collar or tattoo if i was not sure it was.

Can i be positive, many will say i cannot but as one who had a forever i can say i am. To those who will nay say to me i ask can you even be sure the sun will rise tomorrow; as sure as they are of that is how sure i am of forever.

But then again i believe in wood sprites, the gods and goddess, magic, the inherent goodness of mankind, the wisdom that the ancient trees possess, that love is real,and that that beauty and truth abound in this world.






_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: Something to Think About - 8/2/2006 6:57:09 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

This will never happen to me cause Master and i want to be together forever.


I think the key word is "want".  To think that things will never happen is naive.  Your life and priorities can change in an instant, and sometimes your significant other has nothing to do with where you suddenly find yourself.  Life changes, people change.  Just something to think about.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: Something to Think About - 8/2/2006 8:35:33 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		I'll admit that I am a romantic - have always been one.  Do I wish that my Dom and I will be together until one of us dies?  Sure (and that would suck (the dying part).  I've lived life a bit and as much as I hate it, there are very few things that last "forever".  People outgrow one another, situations change - and it takes 110% on both parts - with the same goal - to make it "last" and  grow "together" positively. 

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)
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