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RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 6:30:19 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Lables dont bother me, nor do they interest me.  I will fall under several, and each will be somewhat accurate, and somewhat wrong.  If I were to get upset each time i got one... then simply calling myself Dominant would be a contradiction. Since we cant get away from them.. I deal. Cest La Vie.

DV 

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 6:32:24 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Funny :)   Those that have joined this board happily and proudly check off the boxes that apply to them.  Why even bother then?


Yep, and it helps me in the search tool. :)

How many people are looking for 'ambiguous' as partner? I can understand some one saying, "undecided" in thier profile and then stating in the description, "Hell, I'm just kinky! Got something in mind I might like?"  but at least it gives me an idea. :) They'll never show up in my search list, but that's okay too.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 6:35:18 PM   
beenwhipped


Posts: 191
Joined: 5/14/2006
Status: offline 		those boxes are there to describe what you do and dont like, and i guess to a point the lables do the same. my point is that because i do enjoy being flogged, i get the label "bottom" or "maschosist". and no, these labels are not totaly inaccurate. but what is your definition of masochism? is the same as mine? do you expect me take whatever the dom wants to dish out? should i grin and bear it while the dom plays with a bullwhip when the thought of a bullwhip makes me shudder like hell?

that sounded pissy and ill, not ment that way

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 6:48:15 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		No girl, there's a label for that, too. you're a "tweenie". you're welcome. LMAO

I got called that once, being a slightly butch femme...or slightly femme butch...who the f*ck knows. I loved it! Thought I'd share the humor.

I also wonder if those that don't like labels could fit into a box labelled, "box with no label"? *scratches head*

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to JessieMe)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 6:53:22 PM   
nefertari


Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		Labels are a starting point, not an end all, be all.  I marked the "box" on my profile as submissive.  Yet, there is so much more to each of us than that.  And everyone's definition of submission varies depending on how "submissive" they are; how much control they are willing to yield (*wink* CD).  In order to correctly label ourselves, we would need a label to define every aspect of our lives and that just sounds exhausting, not to mention boring.

But I really like one of MSIncognito's reasons and maybe I'll just use it from now on - that I'm just too super special and unique to be labeled. 

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 7:10:16 PM   
BrightAlrisha


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline 		A label is a way of grouping things together, it is a natural part of evolution - designed to help us predict behaviors.

The stereotype is what you consider to be a typical member of a group - members of the group often differ from the stereotype, but if they have enough common features they can fit.

Often people make assumptions about everyone in a group by referring to their stereotypes.

This is where the crappy stuff starts happening.

As long as we stay aware that a label is nothing but a label, and a stereotype is nothing but a stereotype... it's all fine.

Many people don't want to fit a label because they are unique, and checking a box does not sufficiently explain who they are. I think it is because they are concerned about stereotypes and want to be sure that they are accurately defined... thus labels (which are generic) are insufficient.

My ex used to describe herself as a waterfall of free flowing energy... showing that she is free to change. She was extremely sensitive to being "labeled" - as if the label was a trap.

- The Psychologist

< Message edited by BrightAlrisha -- 8/1/2006 7:23:06 PM >

(in reply to nefertari)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 7:11:11 PM   
scymnus


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		I have nothing against labels, though I try not to use too many of them.  I'm a sub/kitty/girl  if you wanna know, but usually I just call myself a whelp, since I've got mostly kitty but also puppy qualities.  (scymnus is Latin for whelp)
I try not to label other people though.  I feel that while labels can help you get to know more about someone, they can also be limiting.  Like they say what a person should and should not do.  In college I dated a woman with a Master, and one of my friends considered himself straight but he openly slept with and eventually dated men.  To each his own.

scymnus

(in reply to nefertari)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 8:31:09 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		I am what my intimate partner decides I am.

Little beyond that matters.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 10:42:50 PM   
QuietDom


Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		Okay, all of you who have insisted that labels cannot or should not be applied to people as a descriptive tool, I hereby proclaim you all to be "Label-Haters."  Now if you reject all other labels, you can't avoid this one! 

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 10:47:05 PM   
nefertari


Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDom

Okay, all of you who have insisted that labels cannot or should not be applied to people as a descriptive tool, I hereby proclaim you all to be "Label-Haters."  Now if you reject all other labels, you can't avoid this one! 


Can too!  Watch me!

(in reply to QuietDom)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 11:10:59 PM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		Okay, this is my cue to pop up with the long dissertation on words and symbology but i'm just too tired tonight.  ;) 

(in reply to nefertari)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 11:27:15 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

When ever I  hear someone say they don't fit a lable it makes me wonder.. why are you afraid to define yourself?



For some the dilemma may be that the labels have migrated too far into inclusive obscurity.

It is one of the reasons why I do not align myself with BDSM in casual conversation, even to those "in the lifestyle"; with the mention of that well-meaning acronym so many will project in their minds the superficial pageantry of latex and leather.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 11:30:40 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		Ultimately, that which can mean anything means nothing.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 11:34:48 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Ultimately, that which can mean anything means nothing.


Precisely.

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Lables!! - 8/1/2006 11:42:21 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		I personally love labels, but don't use them as a weapon for or against someone... Even when I address someone from a label standpoint, I use common sense and don't assume too much...  I ask, and pay attention to see if our descriptions match.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Labels!! - 8/2/2006 12:08:38 AM   
ICGsteve


Posts: 202
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline 		Oh, goodie, yet another thread on the BDSM communities absolute refusal to define anything. Labels are after all definitions of individuals.

My current theory is that to try and  define the BDSM experience would be to level the illusion that what we do corresponds in any way to logic. If we try to define we soon figure out that we can't do it very well, and the only possible reason for that is that we don't know WTF is going on inside of us when we play. For 2000 years logic, logos, has ruled our behavior in the West, it is all we know. We do BDSM as if logic applies, we negotiate, do contracts, have safe-sane guidelines, we write how-to books that are so dry and devoid of life that only a techie could love them.....

But this is all mythos, an acting out of ancient myths, most of which our modern  heads not only do not understand but are not even aware exists. Because we don't have any understanding of what we are doing we don't actually have any basis to believe that what we are doing is safe, we don't know if we are sane, and we don't want to admit this. Sure, we could try to have definitions, in making the attempt we would solve a lot of communication problems and head off a lot of pain that is currently caused by our inability to talk efficiently to each other, but the cost would be the illusion that anyone is in control, that we are safe.  

Someplace deep down most people understand this, so we collectively come up with a multitude of logical reasons why we can't do definitions, even as we watch so many get hurt as a result. There is no way we are going to get close to this can of worms. Definitions in BDSM, it ain't going to happen.

< Message edited by ICGsteve -- 8/2/2006 12:10:48 AM >

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Labels!! - 8/2/2006 12:38:36 AM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

(in reply to ICGsteve)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Lables!! - 8/2/2006 1:54:23 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

scottjk
SwtMazokst, I would label you as a switch, simply because you are a professional Domme and probably a private sub.

Ah, but her listing as a switch is not what she is looking for. If your job is being a lawyer, that has nothing to do with your being dom or sub, therefore what she does most of the time is Dom, it does not mean that she is not sub.
And what catagory is Dark then? She is a Top submissive. What label is that?
Or me for that matter, I say I top from the bottom, but I actually don't consider myself sub, I just like some things that are considered sub. I guess I'm looking for a sub who can act dom lol...put a label on THAT one.

~Big

(in reply to scottjk)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Lables!! - 8/2/2006 3:04:36 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Labels don't bother me at all....I define who and what I am.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to bignipples2share)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Lables!! - 8/2/2006 3:08:35 AM   
LRODANDMASTER


Posts: 161
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline 		NO KIDING LIKE BE4 I SAY ON U4 KEENS BITCH I DEFINATELY MAKE SURE SH'ES SUMBISSIVE FIRST.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

And god forbid you assume someone is a domme if they are a sub and so forth.  You would soon be severly corrected of your mis-assumption! LOL

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 40
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