RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives

RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (Full Version)

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michaelGA2 -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 10:41:26 AM)
i have my morals, i will not pay for some fake to come to me...even if i had the money...which is why i cannot afford a bus to Atlanta and back. i am a very strong advocate against Pros it's not even funny. it is not an option...PERIOD!!!

popeye1250 -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 10:51:27 AM)
Michael, you wouldn't be talking like that if we took up a collection and sent one right to your house! Yeah, and we'd tell her to dress up like an AVON LADY! You'd be having nightmares after that little session everytime you saw a jar of replenishing lotion!

michaelGA2 -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 10:55:12 AM)
and I would, in turn, turn Her away...it matters not who pays for Her...in my opinion, She is still a fake and i won't be a party in such acts. i do not want this suggestion proposed to me again...as i said before...it is NOT an option...PERIOD.

SusanofO -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 11:12:05 AM)
Pimpernell: Thanks for the extensive and well thought out reply. Your comment on the possibility (maybe necessity) of having n "Ask as Ass_" forum made me laugh. I tend to agree. [:D] - Susan

Fawne -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 11:17:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 I doubt the Avon Lady is going to show up at your front door and come in and start beating your ass.(Well, maybe if she was behind in her "quota" for that month and REALLY wanted the sale!) (Hey! call the Avon Lady! "Ding Dong! Avon Lady! *CRACK*!) Now that may be a nice fantasy but it's not very likely. (Neighbor calling Police; "Hey! You better get someone over here there's an AVON LADY beating the dickens out of my neighbor and she's dressed real funny too!") [sm=biggrin.gif] ROTFL (bad fawne! down girl !)

SusanofO -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 11:17:58 AM)
BillsGalSusan: I also think needs probably have to match up pretty well before the people embark on, or are too far into a relationship for it to work. I agree (I think many Dominants I have read posts from agree w/that as well). Then the submissive and the Dominant know they are not in for huge, heavy-duty unpleasant surprises (hopefully) re: Meeting eachother's desires. I am glad I've heard several mention that this really should maybe be in terms of a good personality match* and possibly hobbies (although personally to me the hobbies/vanilla interests part doesn't matter as much, because I love learning new things, or just knowing people who know about things I don't, but some match here is probably important). Because, sometimes when I read these boards, I get the impression all some are concerned about is how someone's bdsm-oriented desires match up with their own. To me, that isn't going to matter a whole lot if you and the other person just don't click much on the other levels (and I realize there are exceptions, but maybe not for a LTR) . - Susan

popeye1250 -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 11:42:09 AM)
Michael, I really don't know what to tell you then. YOU need to be flexable, if you can't travel that is going to severely limit your options, even in your own state! Georgia is a very large state to get around in. People on CM here come from all over the country so you have to be willing to travel to visit someone Anyone who wouldn't be wiling to travel would be a ***************************** R-E-D- F-L-A-G********************* to me anyway as I can travel anywhere in the country.

Homestead -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 11:48:21 AM)
If you don't have a lot more going on together beyond kink-you just end up another 6 month wonder. Which is why I take a more calculated approach to this. I'll take my time and make my choices with a clear head, thank you.[;)] If I get tagged as cold for that, excellent. People who are in love with love are silly wastes of time. Life is also about more than just feelings-there's a much bigger picture to be seen. I don't desire something so irrational as hormonal attraction to rule my choices in who I allow close to me. And I flat out refuse anyone in a frenzy to have any leverage at all. And I tell rebounders to go think about it for half a year, then get back to me. It's insulting to be seen as nothing more than a fantasy facillitator.

Homestead -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 11:50:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 Michael, I really don't know what to tell you then. YOU need to be flexable, if you can't travel that is going to severely limit your options, even in your own state! Georgia is a very large state to get around in. People on CM here come from all over the country so you have to be willing to travel to visit someone Anyone who wouldn't be wiling to travel would be a ***************************** R-E-D- F-L-A-G********************* to me anyway as I can travel anywhere in the country. Give it up dude, he just wants to sit and be miserable about people not catering to doing everything his way. It's his road. He can choose to exert himself or suffer for doing nothing. I have no sympathy for those who refuse to seize the day.

SusanofO -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 11:53:54 AM)
Homestead: I agree (although admit it might not always be easy). - Susan

popeye1250 -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 11:56:06 AM)
Homestead, I just figured I'd offer him some suggestions to maybe, "help out" in a way. About your other post above, you hit the nail right on the head there! In my humble opinion the best way to start out a relationship is to go "vanilla" for a while. You already "know" that the other person is interested in this lifestyle anyway so why not get to know each other for a bit first?

BillsGalSusan -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 11:56:24 AM)
I am still clueless about some of Bill's hobbies, SusanofO. NASCAR? Nope, still don't get it. He just bought a very expensive "muscle" car. The purchase means I won't be getting the kitchen remodelled any time soon. My being submissive served us both well, because not all that many women would give up granite counters for a 6.1 litre engine without complaining (just a little). The individual acts of BDSM never passed from the want to the need category, from my perspective, either in the sense of having something he wanted or needed as a hard limit for me, or something I really liked being refused (not that I got it when I wanted it, but eventually or occasionally it would make an appearance). Now, I have asthma, so breath play was not something I could do. In that sense it was (and is) a hard limit, but Bill doesn't have any need to do that as part of his shtick, and if it is something he might want, well his need to keep me safe and healthy supersedes that. This is complicated stuff to try to explain, but not hard to understand as we actually live it. Another Susan

justheather -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 11:57:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Homestead If you don't have a lot more going on together beyond kink-you just end up another 6 month wonder. I agree. For me "matching kinks" was almost a non-issue when I was looking. Of course I was pretty darn fresh meat. Now that Ive had a taste of some of the wonders my Daddy has to offer, perhaps place a little bit more emphasis on kink were circumstances to cause me to be looking again. But, I naturaly I hope that's never the case.

michaelGA2 -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 12:00:21 PM)
*removed to remove hostile response*

SusanofO -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 12:02:43 PM)
This is good to hear from ya'll. I doubt I'd expect any Dominanr or Master of mine to understand or care about all of my hobbies (if any. I've only actually got a few, but am pretty devoted to those). If they asked me to give up singing, I think I'd just about die (even if I could only sing in the shower or the car, both of which I currently do all the time). If I end up moving, I am hoping there is a theater or local symphony chorus I might be able to audition for - I do love it. - Susan

fyreredsub -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 12:04:08 PM)
i'm living proof of rechanneling of unappropriate behavior not being done successfully long distance. quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO MichaelinGa: How about via e-mail? People do have on-line Dommes, do they not? Yours really is a very good question, I think, Michael about how people would re-channel behavior in a submissive in a long-distance relationship. - Susan

stef -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 12:19:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 Homestead, I just figured I'd offer him some suggestions to maybe, "help out" in a way. Many people here have tried, with the end result being the same level of success you've gotten. There was one glimmer of hope earlier this year when after much encouragement, he actually went to a munch. It looked like things were finally moving forward for him but as you can see from his latest posts, he's back to square one again and blaming everyone but himself for the position he finds himself in. He's at the point where he needs to buck up and help himself, but that's not going to happen until he gets tired of riding his pity pony. It doesn't appear as though that's going to happen any time soon. ~stef

BillsGalSusan -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 12:19:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO If they asked me to give up singing, I think I'd just about die With the right partner, that sort of thing works out. I had decided to ask Bill to stop racing when our first child was born. This was not something I approached lightly, or on a whim. I just couldn't face that amount of worry and risk when it was not just my future, but our child's as well. On our way home from the hospital, he told me he had sold the race car. I didn't have to ask. Another Susan

popeye1250 -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 12:20:31 PM)
Susan, yes on the singing! If anyone ever told me I had to give up my fiddle out the door they'd go! The Bum's Rush! Sometimes late at night I take "Bridget" (My fiddle) outside after looking up at the stars and play "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." Some of the neighbors mentioned it to me one time and I appollogised to them but they said; No! It sounds beautiful at night!" lol Hobbies like music make a person happier and more well rounded. A person can be in this lifestyle and still live life to the fullest I think.

Devilslilsister -> RE: Re-channeling undesirable behavior and gauging potential in submissives (8/3/2006 12:20:53 PM)
quote: i have my morals, i will not pay for some fake to come to me...even if i had the money...which is why i cannot afford a bus to Atlanta and back. i am a very strong advocate against Pros it's not even funny. it is not an option...PERIOD!!! ooooooh Michael you knows u want it! you WANT IT. <grins> have a coke! Dur.. learn something bro. Shut up, smile, laugh and say "fuck em" Why you here, wasting your time and energy on something that doesnt make u feel good? Least i'm here.. wasting my energy on something that makes me crack up. Go do something productive. i heard the sun is good for da mood! Catch a tan, read a book! and if you cant like.. be happy.. every now and then say "gee my life sucks" den SMACK yerself! And find something happy. What makes u happy dweeb? Der IS something! Find it, do it, drink a coke while yer at it (NOS! you cant have ma pepsi.. its special.. like me!) Look you! If it dun make you happy.. dun fucking thinking about it. Gawd aint hard. Trust!

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