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Tell the truth.. - 8/2/2006 9:27:43 PM

themischievous1

Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline

So. Here's a query regarding older submissive/slave women and the results of aging for those women. Like PMS, physical issues women face can be hard to know how to deal with, cause behavior that isn't easy to understand, and just overall be challenging.

One of the certainties of aging is menopause. Eventually most ladies are going to experience it. So if you're willing to be really honest, tell me the truth. If you've experienced menopause, how has it affected you? How has it affected your submission, slavery, sex-life? Found yourself to be difficult to deal with in relation to D/s power exchange with your Master? What are you going to do about it if so and furthermore, what's he/she going to do about it? lol.

For the rest of you ladies and gentlemen who haven't experienced menopause or who know nothing about it, give me your thoughts on how you would deal with a submissive/slave who is being affected by mood swings, hot flashes, mild depression, anxiety, serious irritability, and headaches for the first time in her life. When answering, please note that according to current research, women have little control over these symptoms and hormone replacement therapy can have serious side effects and symptoms that aren't pleasant in and of themselves. HRT can also be life threatening through risk of stroke, etc.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts..

Post #: 1

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/2/2006 9:32:48 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Wow. Now here's a timely thread topic.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 2

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/2/2006 9:37:05 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Okay truthfully...I feel bad for submissives and slave bishop...As I am
in the throws of pre-menopause...I can flick from as Sweet as apple pie to Boiling mad in warp time.

I warn them when its a bad day...those days I tend to hit harder,have less patience
and just generally want to slap someone anyone will do.

Some like those days and eagerly come for a session and others say how about another day.Either works for Me.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 3

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/2/2006 9:40:13 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Wow. Now here's a timely thread topic.

- Susan

I sitting here laughing My ass off and feeling ooohhh so glad someone else is
in My shoes...Yay...well boo for you...You have My condolences.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 4

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/2/2006 9:48:06 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

I dont know much about menopause, but if it's anything like PMS, it's gonna suck for those closest to me. (the poor things)

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 5

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/2/2006 9:53:45 PM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: themischievous1

For the rest of you ladies and gentlemen who haven't experienced menopause or who know nothing about it, give me your thoughts on
how you would deal with a submissive/slave who is being affected by mood swings, hot flashes, mild depression, anxiety, serious irritability, and headaches for the first time in her life.

Love the person more than the body that carries her around.

DD

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 6

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/2/2006 10:13:51 PM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

I make armor.

(in reply to DoctorDubious)

Post #: 7

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/2/2006 10:31:25 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I asked my mother once what Menopause had been like for her (because I thought that would have some bearing on what it might be like for me). She said she had hardly noticed it, and I thought: Great!

Since the, both my sister (age 45) and I have decided she was either a 1) Liar or
2) Had memory loss about what it was really like (because it was that bad) or
3) Maybe it was great for her (hmm. Dunno about this option, but - maybe).

But - my sister and I are also both in Perimenopause. I know I seem to get a lil' moody more often than I used to a year ago, even, and for some reason, seem to be, at times, hyper-active (but fortunately, it's been nothing compared to my periods - those can be a real bear). I do have shorter and more erratic periods, so maybe Menopause is starting already? My sister gets really bad hot flashes, but I don't (so far). I am only 46, and I hear most women don't go through it until (average age) is 51. But I was glad for the topic, because it helps to be prepared, I think (mentally) for what may come.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/2/2006 10:38:07 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 8

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/2/2006 10:35:13 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

So if you're willing to be really honest, tell me the truth. If you've experienced menopause, how has it affected you? How has it affected your submission, slavery, sex-life? Found yourself to be difficult to deal with in relation to D/s power exchange with your Master? What are you going to do about it if so and furthermore, what's he/she going to do about it? lol.

Menopause--hmmm, so glad i am past that now except for the rare hot flash. I don't think it affected my submission at all. My sex life has improved a lot over the last 5 years but it has nothing to do with menopause and everything to do with introducing Hubby to BDSM. I mainly dealt with hot flashes and night sweats. Night sweats were the hardest to deal with because it sometimes made sleeping difficult. Taking Black Cohosh, an herbal supplement helped a lot. For maybe 3 years my periods were very irregular and sometimes very heavy so it's nice not to be dealing with that anymore. I don't think i had much in the way of mood swings but i never had PMS problems either. I think everyone's experiences with menopause are different. I never took any hormone replacement drugs because of the fear of raising my risk for breast cancer.

On the plus side, it's great not to have periods and also empty nest makes BDSM play easier. However one daughter is now back home for a short time so we have to be quiet again except when she stays over at her boyfiends.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 9

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/2/2006 10:38:58 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Thnak you, proudsub!

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 10

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 3:29:37 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

If you've experienced menopause, how has it affected you?

I'm about 3 months away from full blown menopause and so far I've suffered the mood swings but only once did I have one that I found to be terrible and my husband was quick to slather me in progesterone cream and it went away. For the most part, the moods were easy to manage but the hot flashes were hell. To this day I would love feel "cold" for a little bit! And yes, it has affected my sex drive (sex? what's that?) because the hormones are soooooo screwed up... but it's coming back and both hubby and twice are happy about that!

I've used nothing but herbal remedies for my peri-menopause and will continue to do so... not so many side effects.

For me, I've looked forward to this for years!!! You think being a femdom is license to be a bitch.... HA.... menopause has that beat!!

LMAO... Wanna see a man really terrified... just tell them to please excuse your mood swings this menopause is hell.... their face will actually pale! Managers will open checkouts for you!!

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 11

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 3:46:39 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

My mother has an unending battle with hot flashes. She is in her early 70's. She has tried different medications for it. I've researched them and discovered that some she has tried are anti-depressants. This concerns me because some classes of anti-depressants are very difficult to "quit" (it can be similar to severe flu-like symptoms as you try to wean yourself off) and aren't there medications more appropriate than anti-depressants? She has to be careful with some of the natural remedies (such as soy), because she's a breast cancer survivor and has to watch anything that can affect estrogen levels. My question - if you are prone to having hot flashes as part of menopause, do they ever go away?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 12

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 4:08:07 AM

trj

Posts: 23
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

hi,

it has been 5 years for me. initially it was hell. i went through 6 months of hot flashes, night sweats and dramatic mood swings. i tried balck cohosh and yam capsules, drank gallons of soy milk and tried herbal patches(not sure what was in them) before i decided to go on hrt.

once i got on hrt things changed a lot. no menopuase symptoms and no pms, cramps or periods. it is great. :-)

i am down to taking the hrt every 3rd day now and can honestly say that menopause has improved, not impaired, my sex life.

as for submission, to submit you have to be able to focus on, or at least be conscious of, your partner. i could not always do that. as someone has already pointed out, there is no control over the mood swings and that made it hard.

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 13

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 4:08:31 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

My question - if you are prone to having hot flashes as part of menopause, do they ever go away?

I started my menopause walk through life when I was 20 years old (surgical removal of both ovaries and my uterous). They started me on HRT then, but only gave me a minimum maintenance dose. Now, at 20 my hormones would have been pumping out so, as you might expect, a minimum dose didn't do much good. After about 8 years of progressively worse hot flashes (and perhaps mood swings but I'm bi polar so it's difficult to say if it was that or the menopause) my hot flashes got to the point of "Lay down or fall down." I once laid down in the nearly empty dairy case of a grocery store (it was either that or the floor and I figured the case was cleaner and cooler). No lie.

After that incident I aggressively looked for someone who would be more aggressive with the HRT. I found a gyn who'd been through it too and she began uping the dose. When I got to about 6 times the dose I was taking everything leveled off (including the mood swings). This worked for me for a long time, but about 5 years ago a pulmonologist said "you just can't take these anymore - it's going to kill you." So I settled in for another round of hot flashes and the like and hoped that it would pass quickly since normally I would have been in perimenopause anyway.

This time the hot flashes were present but not unbearable and there was no danger of my falling down in public because of them. That lasted about 2 years and, other than a very mild and very occasional hot flash I'm pretty much past it.

Doing without estrogen does have an effect on your body, though. When I was young I had very oily skin, now my skin brings new meaning to the word "dry." My hair is not as shiney, my skin is a little less supple and I get tired more quickly. None of which is too awful to bear.

So I guess I'm trying to say that for me it was a long, up and down ride (more than 20 years) but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not submissive so I can't speak to that for the OP, but I would not want to go through such a thing and still be required to submit my will to someone else. I probably would have killed them.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 14

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 4:39:56 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Yep. A good friend of mine went through medically-induced menopause in her mid-20's. She doesn't have mood swings or hot flashes, but says it has made her already dry skin much worse. She always carries lotion with her. She refuses hrt, she believes it is bad, she tries natural remedies and loads herself with vitamins. I don't know if it works as well as hrt, but she says the years leading up to her hysterectomy (and oophorectomy) were so hideous that she doesn't mind any of the effects from menopause.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 15

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 4:49:57 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

I'm perimenopausal and absolutely hate it.
The mood swings are the worst. I've been called Sybil at these times
and it's so unlike me. I've also noticed that I get loopy (is that a word)
during my periods. And very forgetful. Not to mention that my periods,
which used to be every 35 days apart are now about every 26 days.
Just lovely, let me tell you. By far the mood swings are the worst
and they have pretty much destroyed a very good relationship I have had with one
from here. At these times I became very combative with him for no reasons.
I was able to see it all happening and yet had no control or ability to stop myself.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 8/3/2006 4:51:41 AM >

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 16

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 4:53:04 AM

BillsGalSusan

Posts: 69
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline

I've been fortunate, menopause has not been especially difficult for me. To put that in perspective, though, PMS was never a huge problem either, so I might just be one of those women who the hormone fairies smile upon.

I did go through several years of heavy bleeding that was pretty debilitating. It kept me chained (and not in a good way) to home a couple of days a month. I thought it was just one of those things, when, in truth it was a polyp. Once that was removed, I was good to go. From that we learned that we needed to ramp up our knowledge and that I needed to have more contact with my doctor than I had been used to. I've had two D&C's in the past ten years, and my general health care now includes having a pelvic ultrasound once a year.

I am very aware that I'm ageing, and very glad that I am not in the position where I have to compete against much younger women in looking for a partner. I'm in relatively good shape--I swim every morning and lift weights 3x a week. At 54, that's maintenance work, and in our house, not "optional". I'm not the only one on the house who has changed over the years--Bill is not the handsome young thing he was when we first connected either.

We both think we still look good, but then, we both wear bi-focals now.

I only weigh 8 pounds more than I did when I got married in 1971, but, oh baby, my body sure has changed shape. Fortunately, as my body has changed, and menopause has snuck up on us, and then gone its way, our life situation has changed as well. We have more time alone together than we did in the past, so while we may be somewhat less interested in daily play, when we are ready to go, we can.

When I look at non D/s couples around us (not that you can really peer into anyone else's life all that well), it seems like we are closer and our relationship is hotter than most people our age. Bill still manages to keep me slightly off balance, because he likes it that way, and life is not nearly as predictable as one might expect at this point. At the same time, there are some things we have never done, that are likely not to ever happen now and other things that we do differently than we did in the past.

My skin has thinned out, my breasts droop, and if I had any tattoos, they'd be pretty distorted by now. Bill still loves my bum, but I gotta tell you, it's one bony skinny ass. Some toys that felt great 10 years ago, just aren't the same when they thud against bone instead of nice plump tissue. I'm thinking that heavier subs might have it better in this regard.

As far as submissiveness, hummmm. I require less day-to-day direction than I did when I was younger. I know how Bill likes things, and I am generally on the mark. I don't feel the need to act out as I did at some points when I was younger--testing limits, trying to see if he loved me enough to correct me--that sort of thing. I figure if he didn't love and cherish me, he would be long gone by now.

I know this answer isn't likely to be of much help to women facing menopause who are just now looking for a partner, but that's my life right now.

Another Susan

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 17

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 8:33:53 AM

beenwhipped

Posts: 191
Joined: 5/14/2006
Status: offline

i havent seen this responce from any masters so i will play devil's advocate for a moment

"beat them back into submission"

just remember i am not a dominate type, and that was just a joke, even though it was realy tasteless

(in reply to BillsGalSusan)

Post #: 18

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 8:59:24 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: themischievous1

...give me your thoughts on how you would deal with a submissive/slave who is being affected by mood swings, hot flashes, mild depression, anxiety, serious irritability, and headaches for the first time in her life. When answering, please note that according to current research, women have little control over these symptoms...

Thanks in advance for your thoughts..

here are some thoughts from someone who has been experiencing it plus hormonal reactions akin to pregnancy--swollen, sore breasts, nausea, vomiting and food cravings for the last 27 years due to an invitro exposure to huge amounts of synthetic estrogen:

this slave would encourage everyone to manage your symptoms as best you can WITHOUT the use of synthetics and pharmeceuticals and please stop perpetuating the myth that one cannot control oneself simply because of one's hormone levels---one might not be able to control the physical symptoms, the night sweats, etc..but it certainly doesn't have to give one an excuse to be an out of control bitch. maybe it's because this slave has been dealing with it for so damn long that as soon as she recognizes any of the symptoms associated with this hormonal chaos, she goes into symptom management mode---where there is a specialized routine that involves combinations of meditation, herbal remedies, long hot soaks in the tub(fabulous for all-out-crying sessions as well), affirmations, prayer, specific activities, exercises, etc. all designed specifically for this slave to combat and minimize the affects of each particular symptom. this slave refuses to be a helpless victim to her hormones... and also doesn't expect relief until she is six feet under.

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 19

RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 10:59:13 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

I wonder if your Mom suffered from that thing that makes you forget how painful childbirth is and get pregnant again(like I did)...LOL
It must work with Menopause too....lol...

As far as dealing with someone going through it.I show My love and support.
I know thats what I need on those bad days.I wont take the hormones...have enough to wory about without that too.

I find that Valerian Root works to mellow Me out.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 20

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