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All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:02:37 AM

DedicatedDom40

Posts: 350
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

...common sense among the Dominants within the lifestyle. It is sorely missing.

I got this little gem in my email the other day, simply the result of clicking a little checkbox while surfing across a few profiles

> Be forewarned!!! This is xxxxxxx, xxxxxxxx's Dom.
> She is owned and collared. I am sending this as you
> are on her admirers list...

Wow. What a crime.

Now, with apologies to the subfem, whom I never had a conversation with, and who is totally unaware of my "checkbox tresspassing incident", and who probably will be accused by her partner of transgressions she is innocent of, I firmly believe this has got to be the dumbest communication I have ever received from an adult.

From my own Jounral entry from early February of this year:

"Instituting communication restrictions sorta runs counter to the concept of NATIVE control in that particular situation, doesn't it? If the Dom/me is truly in control, then why would they ever have to worry about the sub/slave wandering away as a result of answering emails or chats with other Doms/mes? The ability of a submissive or slave to flourish in their role is contingent upon their ability to grow and interact with others, even other dominant individuals.

No interaction = no growth.

No growth = no healthy D/s relationship."

Sounds to me like someone who is supposed to exhibit Dominance is acting a bit insecure, and is attempting to shore up a faltering situation by badgering every innocent party in sight.

There are no visionaries or elderstatesmen in this lifestyle anymore. Just 40-somethings going on 12.

[Mod Note: names removed from post]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 8/8/2006 10:22:33 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:08:15 AM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Ehh, i have seen this in the past also. It's nothing more than the same old drama that goes on here.

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)

Post #: 2

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:10:39 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

Insecurity on his part in action :)

Strikes me as a cyber "hiking of the leg" to mark his territory.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 8/8/2006 10:18:36 AM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)

Post #: 3

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:11:45 AM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

That is amazing and yes, I believe you can chalk that up to insecurity. He should be flattered that you had her on your admirer's list. I am flattered when I see admirers even if I have never spoken to them.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

(in reply to smilezz)

Post #: 4

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:14:01 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I would ask why you think it is your place to judge what other Dom/mes do with their property or second guess their perogatives concerning the behavior of their property.

My Daddy has told me that he doesn't want me to have certain interactions with other dominants mostly because it keeps me out of certain uncomfortable situations. What I speak of is in regard to real life interactions.. but I choose not to answer any emails from any dominant that may express interest in me. I only answer emails from people who comment on my posts in the forum. It is not HIS insecurity, it is for my benefit.

I find it very offensive when I am emailed by dominants that want to pursue a romance with me, because my profile clearly tells them Im not interested and I am taken.. it is disrespectful to my dynamic and to my Daddy, as well as disrespectful to me. I do not think much of men that chase taken subs.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)

Post #: 5

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:19:42 AM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would ask why you think it is your place to judge what other Dom/mes do with their property or second guess their perogatives concerning the behavior of their property.

My Daddy has told me that he doesn't want me to have certain interactions with other dominants mostly because it keeps me out of certain uncomfortable situations. What I speak of is in regard to real life interactions.. but I choose not to answer any emails from any dominant that may express interest in me. I only answer emails from people who comment on my posts in the forum. It is not HIS insecurity, it is for my benefit.

I find it very offensive when I am emailed by dominants that want to pursue a romance with me, because my profile clearly tells them Im not interested and I am taken.. it is disrespectful to my dynamic and to my Daddy, as well as disrespectful to me. I do not think much of men that chase taken subs.

With all due respect juliaoceania, I think the OP stated that he never had even one contact with the sub, he simply put her on his favorites. I have people on my favorites who I simply did because I liked something they wrote in the forums, but whom I would never contact in any way. I agree, I don't think anyone should chase anyone who is taken. I think that the reaction from the Dom was overstated in this case. But then again, I don't know the whole story.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 6

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:21:00 AM

purelea2003

Posts: 78
Joined: 12/12/2005
Status: offline

To be admiring as in the admirers list and to be actively wooing are two different things. But as I sit here and think about it, I know I don't like strangers approaching or putting their hands on anything belonging to Me. If the Dominant is known - I think it's only courteous to first approach Him/Her and ask permission to admire or speak with the submissive - don't you?

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)

Post #: 7

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:21:43 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would ask why you think it is your place to judge what other Dom/mes do with their property or second guess their perogatives concerning the behavior of their property.

Probably because this guy sent this chickenshit to his email addy for admiring from a distance?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 8

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:32:30 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would ask why you think it is your place to judge what other Dom/mes do with their property or second guess their perogatives concerning the behavior of their property.

Probably because this guy sent this chickenshit to his email addy for admiring from a distance?

I was responding more to the journal entry he wrote that discussed why dominants have communication restrictions, not the guy who got bent out of shape over his admiring his sub.

Here is the quote I am thinking of in bold

"Instituting communication restrictions sorta runs counter to the concept of NATIVE control in that particular situation, doesn't it? If the Dom/me is truly in control, then why would they ever have to worry about the sub/slave wandering away as a result of answering emails or chats with other Doms/mes? The ability of a submissive or slave to flourish in their role is contingent upon their ability to grow and interact with others, even other dominant individuals"

It is no one's business why a dominant chooses to do what he does as far as having contact with other dominants, especially strange ones over the internet that could be any damn body.

Just my opinion

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 8/8/2006 10:43:19 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 9

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:46:14 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would ask why you think it is your place to judge what other Dom/mes do with their property or second guess their perogatives concerning the behavior of their property.

quote:

Well from my perspective, because the other Dom got this guy involved by contacting him in his email. If the Dom of the sub being admired doesn't want anyone to admire what is his, and has to resort contacting those who do, what do you see that is lacking or needed in that scenario?

i for one feel that if it is that big of a deal, he should have his sub state a disclaimer in her profile that reads "if you admire me, keep it to yourself, or you will receive an 'admiration warning' in your email." LOL!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:49:18 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DedicatedDom40

From my own Jounral entry from early February of this year:

"Instituting communication restrictions sorta runs counter to the concept of NATIVE control in that particular situation, doesn't it? If the Dom/me is truly in control, then why would they ever have to worry about the sub/slave wandering away as a result of answering emails or chats with other Doms/mes? The ability of a submissive or slave to flourish in their role is contingent upon their ability to grow and interact with others, even other dominant individuals.

No interaction = no growth.

No growth = no healthy D/s relationship."

Sounds to me like someone who is supposed to exhibit Dominance is acting a bit insecure, and is attempting to shore up a faltering situation by badgering every innocent party in sight.

There are no visionaries or elderstatesmen in this lifestyle anymore. Just 40-somethings going on 12.

[Mod Note: names removed from post]

Insecurities?????????? Whose????????????????????????

Dedicated??????????? Dedicated to what??????????????

After reading and re-reading your single instance perceived "little gem" problem, it indeed appears to be something you dwell on and now perpetrate further by including re-postings of your earlier propaganda and wisdom of defending open communications with owned subs/slaves... "good for growth"...

There definitely appears to be a rather obvious recurring cycle of "your perceived problem" of "open growth communications" with owned or taken sub/slaves... seems to happen regularly over the long haul.

Your ultimate answer is to come step up high on your soapbox and yell, "Looky here everybody.... what another stupid Dom!".... Because you didn't like "his reaction to your action" of clicking the checkbox while surfing. Perhaps he has dealt with you before under a multitude of other screen names, or feels that he has by reading your journal preachings about unfair control of other's possessions?? Maybe he feels there are alot of your perception types out there... enough to draft a "form warning"...?

You got one thing right.... it can be a pissy problem when 12 year olds try to act 40...
Thanks for bringing this elusive belly crawler issue to everyone's attention... now we are all straight on it!

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)

Post #: 11

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:55:21 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Again, I was speaking about his journal entries that seem to assume that a dominant must be insecure if he doesn't encourage his submissive to speak with strangers over the internet in private emails about the "lifestyle". I do not agree with this and I am saying so.

I have never broadcasted in a thread about the many strange and freaky emails that have been sent to me that come across as the childish meanderings of a 5 year old on steriods, mainly because I do not think it matters. I think that broadcasting the name of the sub in question was also in very bad taste since she did NOTHING, and it seemed an effort to humiliate her dom, which if I were in her shoes that would hurt my feelings deeply. It is just very bad taste.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 12

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 10:58:00 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Well, to a degree I agree with your journal entry but to me it is a matter of logic.

If I'm a dominant who wants to control whom my slave/sub interacts with aren't I making this more difficult by allowing her/him onto the internet especially onto a place like CM?

I mean, if I want my slave to have a community then I automatically open up those doors for her/him to have contact with others and since I cannot be around every second monitoring what she/he does, I think I'd be setting us both up for contact that I can't control.

Ah, but maybe I just want them to learn things but not interact with others? Ok, strange understanding of how we learn but there are sites and books one can read that do not require any interaction. This board even doesn't really require interactions -- unless you need a profile to read (I can't remember). If it does require a profile to just read, then again, by allowing the profile in the first place I am making my desire to control my slave's contacts much more difficult.

In short, I'm saying that allowing one's slave online will automatically make the control over what she/he sees and whom she interacts with more difficult.

Hey, someone out there has the time to spend sitting right next to their property 24/7 to monitor this stuff, cool, but "no thank you" from me and mine.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)

Post #: 13

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 11:13:27 AM

eroticangel

Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline

i have to agree with juliaoceania why would you put someone taken on your favorite list?? especially when she says she is not looking????

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 14

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 11:18:30 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

Just becuz...the spirit moved him. My only thing is why complain about it, hit the delete key and move along.

(in reply to eroticangel)

Post #: 15

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 11:24:27 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Whilst it isn't upto the OP as to what another does with their property. This could have been handled so much easier. Someone bugs My girl in a way I don't want them to... she gets told "Block the asshole and forget about him!"

Occassionaly they will do something so blatently stupid, like asking of she has a Dom when the first thing on her profile is, in big letters, "Owned by RavenMuse" and I'll mail something like "Want to get a dictionary and look up what the word OWNED means?" But mostly I just ignore them too.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)

Post #: 16

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 11:25:52 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Writing someone who asks not to be written is one thing, but for goodness sake all you did was admire her from afar.
A true case of way too overboard in controlling people if you'd ask me.

I say their reactions speak volumes as to how you really don't admire her anyway.
I say leave the mental to their own groups and find sane ones you'd like to be a part of.
It's people like that that give us a bad name. Unfortunately all kinds of groups have their bottom dwellers bringing them down.
Just move on and don't let their poor attitude give you one too.
Suzanne

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)

Post #: 17

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 11:28:11 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would ask why you think it is your place to judge what other Dom/mes do with their property or second guess their perogatives concerning the behavior of their property.

My Daddy has told me that he doesn't want me to have certain interactions with other dominants mostly because it keeps me out of certain uncomfortable situations. What I speak of is in regard to real life interactions.. but I choose not to answer any emails from any dominant that may express interest in me. I only answer emails from people who comment on my posts in the forum. It is not HIS insecurity, it is for my benefit.

I find it very offensive when I am emailed by dominants that want to pursue a romance with me, because my profile clearly tells them Im not interested and I am taken.. it is disrespectful to my dynamic and to my Daddy, as well as disrespectful to me. I do not think much of men that chase taken subs.

The OP did not contact her, he just added her to his admire list. Way different than what your point is here if you'd ask me.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 18

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 11:30:40 AM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

ok so if I read the journal right . I should allow my slave to speak and grow from other dominants?

now if I train my slave to act a certain way .. believe a certain way .. and you come along and decide your gonna insite your growth upon her .... now what if it contradicts my beliefs . I should allow you to make her think differently ... you got a screw loose my friend .... I have been around long enough on this site to see "Doms" who pass along their wordsof wisdom to slaves that are owned ... all they are doing is being a snake in the grass trying to steal another mans property .... your logic is totally confused .

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 19

RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 11:34:19 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would ask why you think it is your place to judge what other Dom/mes do with their property or second guess their perogatives concerning the behavior of their property.

My Daddy has told me that he doesn't want me to have certain interactions with other dominants mostly because it keeps me out of certain uncomfortable situations. What I speak of is in regard to real life interactions.. but I choose not to answer any emails from any dominant that may express interest in me. I only answer emails from people who comment on my posts in the forum. It is not HIS insecurity, it is for my benefit.

I find it very offensive when I am emailed by dominants that want to pursue a romance with me, because my profile clearly tells them Im not interested and I am taken.. it is disrespectful to my dynamic and to my Daddy, as well as disrespectful to me. I do not think much of men that chase taken subs.

The OP did not contact her, he just added her to his admire list. Way different than what your point is here if you'd ask me.

He questions dominants on their dynamics, and he broadcasted the sub's name in question before the mods scrubbed it.. why did he do that? Because his penis was bent outta shape because he was told off. He was trying to humiliate the dom by publishing the subs name... very tacky.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 20

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