RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay

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RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay - 4/29/2009 4:22:00 PM

DomImus

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And although Fawley told the police that Behl was crazy about him, she thought he was weird, prosecutors said. He later told police that he sometimes blacked out and that he remembers Behl choking before she took her last breath.
"I never like the thoughts in my head," Fawley wrote in a jailhouse letter to a friend that was read aloud Wednesday. "People are right. Something is wrong with me. All the thoughts of killing and death in my head and now it's true. I've killed someone."

This story has nothing to do with bdsm.

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RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay - 4/29/2009 5:00:27 PM

LafayetteLady

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From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

Hi All,
I saw on TV this morning a man who was dating a girl here in the Washington DC area accidentally killed her during sex. He was consensually strangeling her & she died. He panicked & hid the body as he felt no one would believe it was consensual. He's pleading guilty for her death today in court. That's such a sad thing on so many levels it leaves me blue.
Suzanne

As another poster said, this really isn't about BDSM. But I'm always so surprised by those who comment on the sadness of the poor "dom" who had been held legally responsible for something that may or may not be lifestyle based. The "consensual" part of the act, in my opinion, also refers to the dom/master/top's understanding of their responsibility and culpability involved in the activity. Just because your sub consents to, say, being branded, does not absolve you of responsibility if you do it incorrectly, unsafely, whatever, and something goes wrong.

It just seems that so many people use BDSM as an excuse for poor behavior and poor decisions. In theory (because some days I have my doubts), we are all at least moderately educated, literate human beings who are aware of what is right and wrong, legal and illegal, honest and dishonest, and having an interest or participation in lifestyle activities doesn't negate your responsibility to be at least a half way decent human being.

Sorry this turned into a rant, but over the past days with married subs looking for "permission" to step outside their marriage, "potentials" flying off the handle rudely when politely told things won't work and now this guy who by his own statements quoted in the press had fantasies about killing people, you can't help but wonder why the rest of the world tends to view people in the lifestyle as deviants.

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RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay - 4/29/2009 5:07:39 PM

CatdeMedici

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uh this is a three year old thread, anyone realize that?

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RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay - 4/29/2009 5:11:38 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aquafun

Yes, breathplay is a very dangerous kind of playing... and like always it is a question of how to do you play it...
if you hold on your breath without any tools - close your mouth and nose - you will feel your burning lungs and it takes (much more than 1 minute) time until you pass out - if you will.
if you hold on your breath with a kind of hanging, you will close the blood transfer to your brain - and therefor you block also the air transfer to your brain... this is the kind you can pass out without any signs...
For the hardcore breathplayers: if you pull a plastic bag over your slaves head, she or he will give you a clear sign - like shaking arms and legs - when she or he runs out of air.
This is the time you should open the bag and release she or he.

You started up a three year old thread to instruct people seemingly. Are you a doctor? Do you know in fact that this is exactlly what will happen to any person who does things as you discribe?

How about that hanging part... maybe breaking the neck or spine? How about some more details doc?

You see this shit really pisses me off and I rarely get pissed off over a post... but you have done it.

Anyone wants to play it the way you discribe... well.. come on over to my house and I will show you the results of a lil hanging gone right... yes, I said right... they brought him back from death and he is a cute lil boy again.

No signs... some signs... yeah give me a fucking break!

Don't give instructions on how to do something unless you cover all the bases.

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RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay - 4/29/2009 8:25:11 PM

goodpet

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my cousin, from Chicago, died from this. it really tore up the family. they were also restricting the blood flow, which can be even more risky then just breath play.. The doctor said that cutting the blood flow off to the brain can cause brain cells to die within seconds. The problem is you never know which cell might start to die, if it is a needed area of body function control.. you die within seconds..

with just breath play you have more then a few seconds.. so the problem there is going so long up to passing out... then you have all the blood issue and again the lack of O2 to the brain cells..

We do breath play,.... but only to about 20-30 seconds... shoot i can hold my breath for 60 when swimming underwater.. so really.. 20 is no big deal... BUT.. even with that knowledge... after about 20 the brain says "breath.. you need to breath.." and when you can't by force it being come the panic/trust for the last 10 seconds..

so for us,, no blood restrictions, and breath play for only 20 seconds -30 seconds max.

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RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay - 4/29/2009 11:25:11 PM

GoddessTeaze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

Hi All,
I saw on TV this morning a man who was dating a girl here in the Washington DC area accidentally killed her during sex. He was consensually strangeling her & she died.

With breath play so risky I wonder how many of us are doing this without considering the ramifications of the what if's happen.
Suzanne

Oh I fully agree and I tried to tell
others about it before, when I saw a documentary about this subject,
which was shocking but they don't seem to give a flying fuck,
when you tell them about it.
Here is the thread.

So it all comes back to sanity.
And stand up for your hard limits, and Safe and Sanity first.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

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RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay - 4/29/2009 11:30:24 PM

GoddessTeaze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodpet

my cousin, from Chicago, died from this. it really tore up the family. they were also restricting the blood flow, which can be even more risky then just breath play..

We do breath play,.... but only to about 20-30 seconds... shoot i can hold my breath for 60 when swimming underwater.. so really.. 20 is no big deal... BUT.. even with that knowledge... after about 20 the brain says "breath.. you need to breath.." and when you can't by force it being come the panic/trust for the last 10 seconds..

so for us,, no blood restrictions, and breath play for only 20 seconds -30 seconds max.

This is just unbelievable,
your own cousin dies from this shit,
and you aren't alarmed that you should quit this noncence?

Don't you know that you kill your braincells everything
you keep oxygen from going to the brain, that people
can get severe braindamages in the end,
by keep on playing this stupid game???

See,...

Apparently some people never learn.
Not even when dead has occured in their own family.

I'm asking, where did sanity go...

Flew right out the window.

GoddezzT`

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RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay - 4/30/2009 10:04:38 AM

LafayetteLady

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It may be a 3 year old thread, but is it ever inappropriate to resurrect something that talks about the dangers of certain acts and the need to always be careful?

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RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay - 4/30/2009 11:54:12 PM

Apocalypso

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

So it all comes back to sanity.
And stand up for your hard limits, and Safe and Sanity first.

While sanity does seem to have been an issue in this particular (old) case, on the whole I see no evidence that people participating in breath play are mentally unstable. Hence I'm not actually sure that "sane" currently has any meaning in BDSM circles beyond "stuff I think is alright". And a sizeable percentage of the general public wouldn't consider BDSM relationships to be "sane". It's so subjective as to be useless as a guideline.

Safe is a bit easier. But if you're actually going to go for "safe" as opposed to "minimised risk", a large number of commonly accepted BDSM practises also need to be thrown out. Yes, breath play is more risky than most of them. (I'd go as far to say that you can't really make it any less than moderately risky, whatever precautions are taken). But it isn't the only unsafe activity by any means.

To be clear, I'm not into breath play. Partly because of an awareness of the risks involved. But if people are fully aware of the risks involved and are making an informed decision I'm not prepared to condemn them for their personal choices.

I don't see what is gained by having some sort of self-appointed "safety police" take it on themselves to decide what is and isn't acceptable within BDSM. The vast majority of legal problems that BDSMers have faced have been caused by the idea that other people have a right to judge our personal relationships.

(I totally agree with you on the importance of people standing up for their hard limits however).

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RE: One Dom Gone Over Breathplay - 5/1/2009 2:03:19 AM

aquafun

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@ Lockit: it was neither the target of my post, to instruct someone nor to give an idea to do it.
your absolutly right - and I hope it was the statement of my post - things like hanging, strangling, etc. are extremly dangerous. The only thing I would say is, that we have to differ the kind of breathplay.

Yes, I am into breathplay, I love it. But like every day in your live, there is a border.... you can try out to find the border but never cross the border...