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juliaoceania -> RE: Questioning Dominants (8/15/2006 1:50:16 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: catize
First of all, juliaoceana, I have yet to read anything from you that is less than respectful. Often times I read a post of yours and marvel at how you can get your point across in the nicest possible manner. Thank you, but I have shown my rear end a time or two, just usually not when it comes to how people conduct their relationships. I will refer you to an archived thread about a submissive guy that wanted to know how to stay out of the way of his new mistress when she brought over dominant men, and they discussed locking him in the basement, although this was an extreme case, nevertheless, my Dom said it was no excuse to show my ass..smiles.
quote:
Since your dominant has made this a rule for you, I would suggest several things.
One: How do you show your respect to your dominant when you have an opposing opinion? Use that same strategy here, couching your words in respectful terms.
Two: If its something that just makes your blood boil and you can't refrain, type it in a word document, get it out of your system, and delete it. That has worked for me anyway!
He tells me I can tell him anything I like about a dominant we meet in the real world or I see posting on this board, and I have sounded outraged a time or two.. he doesn't like this either as he doesn't want what someone else posts controlling my emotional states.. it has taught me a lot about being distant from other people's dramas and not troubling my mind with them. I thank him for that..although I am not perfect and still am reactionary at times. I think it is valuable to think twice about what I post, although I too often do not.
quote:
Communication in the written form like this can always be misunderstood. People will get insulted, even when the intention was never there. I speak as I feel and if someone has a problem with that, that is their decision. Personally, I do not believe in fakes, wannabees or words to that effect. I agree, and it is him that judges whether I insulted someone, not them. I am usually not trying to affect people in a negative way, but I am not responsible if I do although I will apologize if I have inadvertantly hurt someon's feelings. quote:
The next rule on this is I treat everyone (regardless of their "status") with the respect they deserve. This, as he explained it to me, means that I don't have to show respect to someone who does not treat me with it. He trusts my instinct on this and will call it to my attention if I am wrong...thus far, though, that has never happened. I fight my own battles should I need to, and he's there for assistance should I need it as well. Submissive does not mean "doormat" to either of us. Picking fights is not so much my style, so I try to avoid it, but I am by the same token unafraid to have an opinion. If you have read me much on here, I pull no punches in presenting a viewpoint, and I have even insulted people (usually for picking on another poster for their weight or looks or making outlandishly rude prouncements to the board), it is in regard to insulting somone's dynamic and their methods of dominating that I am to be respectful. This board has many other outlets to be rude if that is what I wanted to be outside of these guidelines, but I try not to be rude...smiles basically I asked him how he wanted me to behave because I would cringe at the idea that my behavior would reflect badly on him, and at the same time I am not the type to walk on eggshells. I do not mean it to sound like he made these pronouncements like Moses settting down the 10 Commandments. I just would hate to embarass him, it was almost like asking for guidelines to make sure I didn't do so.
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