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fullofgrace -> RE: Attractive married men cheating on their wives... (8/16/2006 11:48:43 PM)
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Attractive, married men cheating on their non-kinky wives...
1) are a turn off because of dishonesty
7) should divorce & become poly if they seek variety
8) are a turn off for another reason
i think they're a turnoff for two reasons: one is dishonesty (which also implies a lack of respect for their partner). the other is...if they won't respect the person they've given marriage vows to, why would they respect me? why would i want to date or sleep with someone who has no respect for me? also, if a married man were to leave his wife for me...he could just as well turn me in for a model that's newer and more exciting, and is more likely to do so, i think, than a man who hasn't cheated. sorry, not interested.
i'm a bit iffy on the should divorce and become poly. i think they should do what they can to save their marriage instead of going outside of it, including perhaps introducing the idea of poly to their spouse (if workable), and only divorce as a last resort. i also don't necessarily think people who cheat do so because they're meant to be poly; some people are just dishonest. but then again, some people who cheat would do well to divorce and become poly. so it depends on the person.
i think the average man (or woman) who cheats (there are exceptions) do so because they're lacking something in themselves - like the ability to know what they want in a relationship and/or to commit to what they communicate that they want. there's also a fair element of loving their IDEA of the person they're with, rather than the person themselves, which leads to easy disappointment and the desire to look outside of the relationship.
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