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Satyr6406 -> RE: How does a Dominant decide to be (or not) a Daddy Dom? (8/19/2006 5:13:29 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Riskspect
Gestalt therapy and Transactional Analysis (TA) teach us that we communicate through one of three egos, our Child, Adult or Parent. Over the years I’ve thought a lot about Gestalt and transactional analysis and how D/s relates.
In a D/s relationship both the Dom and the sub can and often do act from their Adult ego. In this case we have two adults, fulfilling needs and transacting with each other in a straight forward manner. This is how Gestalt and TA want us to interact and how we should interact.
However, in many cases, the Dom functions form his Adult ego while the sub does so from her Child. Is this in conflict with what Gestalt and TA teach us? Not necessarily. Gestalt wants us to be aware of our ego when we transact. We are not taught that we can never transact from our Child or Parent. Therefore, one can draw the conclusion that to roll play as Parent to Child is fine. But, can you maintain an actual relationship this way?
Both Gestalt and TA teach us that to maintain a healthy relationship you need to do it Adult to Adult. Why? Because the Adult ego is where we deal with fact, both intellectually and emotionally. Our Child and Adult egos often ignore fact and intellect, relying more on immediate gratification and emotion.
So, the question of Daddy Dom is defined by the nature of the relationship. A Daddy Dom and daughter sub will probably work fine for roll playing. But not for a long term relationship.
Am I a daddy Dom? I can be for roll playing, but not for a relationship.
I don't mean this to sound as a personal attack (it isn't) but, you just don't get it. It's not about role-playing.
A "Babygirl" is ALWAYS an adult woman. Allow me to post a little piece of text that is not my own ...
quote:
ORIGINAL:Kendra "Daddy Doms. A Little Girl's View"
First I should say that in my relationship my Dom is not my father, he is nothing like my father, and I have no need for him to replace my father. He is however my Daddy. We do not engage in age play specifically ( beyond the occasional school girl fantasy *s*) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. I am always all woman, and always a very independent woman. He does have the ability to make me feel like a little girl, however, a very cherished and sometimes needy little girl. It is a feeling that I revel in, it is the safest place I have ever been, and it allows me the freedom to be all that I am without fear of reprisals.
So..what makes a Daddy Dom? First and foremost he loves his little girl. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him.
It's not about age play or role play. It's about a "Daddy" inspiring those feelings of security and girlishness.
I hate to engage in pseudo-psycho-analysis but, the quote: "The child is father of the man" is not all that far off and it is VERY applicable (in my humble opinion) as to what "makes" a babygirl what she is.
For a long time, I avoided this "area" because I, too, thought it was some "sick" game playing. But, it is FAR from that.
Peace and comfort,
Michael
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