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What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/19/2006 6:57:04 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		I would like to see more Dommes state acceptable age-ranges of malesubs in their profiles. This would surely reduce the volume of unwanted approaches on their part, and save us plenty of wasted time and effort.

Anyone care to add to the list?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/19/2006 7:56:59 AM   
MzMinx


Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		*laughs softly* ... in my experience most dont read what is there   ......  so any extra  is  very unlikly to help ...
and for me .... age  beyond extreme  differences  isnt an issue

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/19/2006 8:17:03 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMinx

*laughs softly* ... in my experience most dont read what is there   ......  so any extra  is  very unlikly to help ...
and for me .... age  beyond extreme  differences  isnt an issue



Unfortunately this is true.  The more information I put on my profile, the less likely it is to be read, it seems.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to MzMinx)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/19/2006 8:20:06 AM   
sisyphus2000


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/3/2006
Status: offline 		First, i have to agree with subfever, age range would be VERY welcome since i am an older (54) sub.  I served a Mistress for a short while that was in Her early 20s and we both loved it until She had to move, but i know many Ladies do want subs closer to their own age or, in many cases, younger than They are.

I also hear what MzMinx said as well.  In my own opinion, the subs that don't read a profile are just "players".  I WANT a good connection with a Mistress so i read all of Her profile, and if there is something about "me" that She states She does not want, then i won't write.

As far as "other" things i'd like to see, one thing that bothers me is that a Mistress says She is seeking a slave, but then does not list any of Her "interests".

And last, at least for now, as in business the top three things that a good profile needs is (1) location, (2) location, and (3) LOCATION!  In the U.S. the profiles are listed by state.  In a small state like Connecticut, if they simply say "Connecticut" for their location you can be pretty sure that they are relatively close if you are in Connecticut yourself.  However, i live in one of the larger states, Idaho.  When a Mistress simply lists her location as "Idaho" you have no idea whether she is 3 miles away, or 300 miles away.  If you are looking for an "in person" relationship then they need to be close enough for frequent visits.  If they aren't that close, then there would be no reason to contact them.  But how do you know?  The only way to know is to write and ask.  Since most Mistresses don't like one line messages you take the time to write a fairly complete description of yourself and your interests.  This takes time.  Time to write and time to read.  Then, if they bother writing back at all it is to tell you that you are too far away.  And i've even had Mistresses get upset that i would ask their location to begin with!! 

Okay, i'm done venting for now, and want to say thanks for the opportunity to do so!

(in reply to MzMinx)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/19/2006 8:29:04 AM   
PhDslave


Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		What would I like to read?  "Single, monogamous, mature, loving    Dominant Female living in New England  seeking an LTR or eventual marriage with a mature, educated male. Experience not necessary".  LOL

(in reply to sisyphus2000)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/19/2006 9:05:34 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		We have an age range in ours - as well as a lot of other things that, as Minx said, no one ever bothers to read.  We get approached by guys who violate at least one of our requirements on a daily basis (like the one who apparently missed the "you can't have delusions about pitbulls being evil" and decided to lecture me on the evils of pitbulls after I mentioned Chaos and Havok).

(in reply to PhDslave)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/19/2006 10:58:15 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever
I would like to see more Dommes state acceptable age-ranges of malesubs in their profiles. This would surely reduce the volume of unwanted approaches on their part, and save us plenty of wasted time and effort.
Anyone care to add to the list?


I'm all in favor of stating an age range, and I do.  I also strongly agree with the other gentleman who suggested putting a more specific location than just the state.  I, too, live in a pretty large state.  I think it is helpful for people to know I am in Dallas/Ft. Worth vs. Houston or Lubbock, so I say so.  Some states cover a lot of territory. 
 
Another thing I think is very important is to state your own marital status and any restrictions you may have regarding the marital status of others.  For example, I would NEVER EVER consider a married male, and say so very clearly (though many obviously don't read profiles and write to Me anyway).  By the same token, some subs don't mind a married Domme and some do, so I think it is good for a Domme to list Hers as well.
 
I think it is also important to list clear "deal-killers" in the interests of saving time for both parties.  For example, if a sub is allergic to cats, he really shouldn't reply to Me, as I have two cats and they aren't going anywhere.  I'm not into the adult baby thing, so a sub who is seeking that would be wasting his time writing to Me, etc.  In addition, a common "requirement" the male submissives seem to have is that their Domme be HWP.  Well, I'm not, and I say so, so these individuals are free to quickly move on to the next profile.
 
Like some of the others have said, many prospective subs (and others, I'm sure) don't read profiles anyway, which kind of defeats the purpose of putting a lot of information into one's profile.  However, it does cut down on My time.  If I have already stated in My profile that I will not consider a certain type of person (married, young enough to be My son, lives outside the country, etc.)  I feel no obligation whatsoever to reply to them, as they should have read the profile and been forewarned.  I simply press delete and get on with My day. 
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/19/2006 11:14:37 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

I would like to see more Dommes state acceptable age-ranges of malesubs in their profiles. This would surely reduce the volume of unwanted approaches on their part, and save us plenty of wasted time and effort.

Anyone care to add to the list?

Even in a profile like mine where there is very plain and specific list of must haves (age range, wants relationship, open for LTR, masculine, caucasian and has experience), you'd be absolutely horrified to know the volume of mail that arrives in my bulk bin that is outside of any and all parameters that can be set here.

So I ask in return: Why bother?  What good does it do when a majority don't bother and just email anyhow, hoping someone will embrace their random, depersonalized request for fetish fulfilment?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/19/2006 2:30:38 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		It would be useful to put age ranges in, and more accurate geographical locations. But then, it would be helpful if people read the profiles at all...........!

I tested it out over the course of two weeks, having got the idea that no one read the profile I did an experiment with a number of IDs - I posted as female straight domme, female lesbian domme, female straight sub, female lesbian sub...... What was interesting was, that I got mail from the same few males to all of those four fake profiles, each of which message was a one liner. This indicated to me that these particular applicants were interested by the one common element in each ID - female.

I have deleted those IDs now by the way (one lot of "emales" is sufficient), but it was very educational to know that I could write that I was only interested in guys with three arms living in Antarctica, and still get plenty of messages.
E

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/20/2006 7:48:20 AM   
peterK50


Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline 		I'd like them to stop being vague & start being realistic in their expectations & what they have to offer a sub/slave.

_____________________________

Religion Is About Seeking Knowledge, Not Knowing All The Answers.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/20/2006 4:48:14 PM   
LeatherRose


Posts: 62
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peterK50

I'd like them to stop being vague & start being realistic in their expectations & what they have to offer a sub/slave.


And why in the hell would I want to do that?  Especially when I get enough emails from wankers telling ME what they want me to do or what they can do for me just to get themselves off?!
 
I agree with Pandora, it doesn't matter what we put in our profiles about our wants or what we are looking for, we still get bombarded from guys that either obviously didn't read the profile or think they are Super Sub and could change our minds.
 
How about turning the tables here, when are the subs going to start actually putting down info on their profiles that doesn't sound like they are THE sub to have.  It sickens me to see all the bragging they do and totally turns me off.
 
LeatherRose
 
 

(in reply to peterK50)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/20/2006 4:59:48 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherRose

It sickens me to see all the bragging they do and totally turns me off.
 


But I really do have a 10" cock!  And you don't even want to hear the length!

But more seriously (Hey!  quiet!  It has happened before!) if you believe that it doesn't matter what you write, it will get ignored anyway, then why write at all?  The answer is (at least for some) that they hope they will find the diamond in the rough.  That one sub, who reads the profile, says to himself "Hey, I like to cook, too.  And she loves Spain! She is my dream come true!" and sends out a well thought out message, connecting her profile to his interests, adding in his own interests, cracks a joke, and leaves her wanting more.

If you want that, then maybe you should find the sub who you might be interested in, if circumstances were different, and see what they think may make your profile a bit better for him.  Maybe the same kind of sub near you, in your age range, matching your interests feels the same way, and because you took the advice of a guy who has read every Domme profile in the area and knows his stuff, you may just find a match.

Just a theory, but then again, so is evolution.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LeatherRose)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/20/2006 10:04:28 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		It's disheartening to read numerous accusations that many malesubs aren't even reading Domme profiles before approaching.
 
I can understand why the Ladies might grow jaded from being exposed to such self-centered, poor behavior, and consequently go on develop "why bother" attitudes. However, better malesubs that do take the time to fully read profiles before composing an approach probably suffer consequences along with the guilty. Also, the downside to "why bother" attitudes is that they could easily become infectiously contagious.

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/20/2006 11:44:38 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

It's disheartening to read numerous accusations that many malesubs aren't even reading Domme profiles before approaching.
 
I can understand why the Ladies might grow jaded from being exposed to such self-centered, poor behavior, and consequently go on develop "why bother" attitudes. However, better malesubs that do take the time to fully read profiles before composing an approach probably suffer consequences along with the guilty. Also, the downside to "why bother" attitudes is that they could easily become infectiously contagious.

I don't think you're necessarily correct.

I weed through, on average, 10 mails here a day.  Usually, 9-10 are a waste of my time because they are:
-- 1 line emails.
-- married men
-- not seeking a relationship
-- have no experience
-- out of my age range
Looking at my profile, I clearly detail all of the above to be stipulations to moving forward.  When questioned, each and every respondent says that they "figured you'd make an exception" or that they "didn't pay attention, sorry."

For the gentlemen who do take the time to pay attention and compose an intelligent introduction, I am easily able to push forward with interviewing them further.  If they can follow instructions, and they can be respectful, they pay NO consequence for the behavior of their peers.  Sadly though, my time is still wasted weeding through the turds, and that time would better be spent speaking with those who paid more attention to detail. 

One of the consequences that I could forsee happening is that we do get fed up and just delete our profiles, leaving them to be the same substance as many of the guys here.  No wank fodder left....move along, nothing to see here!



_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/22/2006 5:57:54 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sisyphus2000

Since most Mistresses don't like one line messages you take the time to write a fairly complete description of yourself and your interests.  This takes time.  Time to write and time to read. 


This is a good point. What say you Dommes about this?
 
Is it acceptable for a malesub to send you a brief message asking for clarification about something basic and critical (age, location, etc.) to validate whether he fits into your criteria box instead of him potentially wasting time and effort composing a full approach only to have it quickly discarded because he is outside your box?  


(in reply to sisyphus2000)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/22/2006 6:03:16 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Personally, I know I do have all the most pertenent information in my profile.  If there is still a question, then Id prefer you ask it rather than assume the answer benefits you and take it from there.  Like MisPandora, I wade througha  lot of emails, especially recently, that state that the boys read and loved my profile... and asking if I would consider them.  One suggestion I would most certanly make to any malesub who is trying to get an Domme's attention... if you are going to tell her you loved her profile make sure to read all of it. read everything written, and if there are still questions, ask them before you pour your heart out into an introduction.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/22/2006 6:16:28 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		If it were clear that a short note was presaging a longer letter, then this would be OK with me.  In my workplace, we talk a lot about setting expectations for our customers and letting them know what will be happening next in the process.  I think these skills would be perfect in this situation.  If I received a note saying, "I am intrigued by your profile but want to know if you would be open to the attentions of a submissive man 45 minutes from you ... ," that would let me know that his brevity had to do with courtesy and not, say, a lack of care.

I am quite interested to read what thoughtful submissive men would like to see in a Domme's profile, and hope to see more responses.  I would agree with the other ladies that *nothing* (short of saying that one is a man) seems to cut down on the volume of unwanted mail.  I do hope that the submissive gentlemen who have offered their opinions here all have wonderful profiles -- it's part of what I use to seperate the undifferentiated kinksters from men of substance.

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/22/2006 6:31:27 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Wait ... if your narrative is three or four sentences long, don't you think that puts you in an embarrassing position to ask a lady to write *more?*

(she said, after having read some of the profiles of the submissive profiles above)

Havn't tried Remy Martin yet ...

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/22/2006 6:57:20 PM   
MstrssScarlet


Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline 		I just HAD to jump into this one.  I got an email from a submissive on this site who lives in Florida.  I live in Indiana and it clearly states on my profile that I'm not interested in anyone who would have to relocate on my behalf.  He claimed I seemed like an interesting woman and he would like to get to know me.  When I told him to go back and read my profile, he came back with "If you check my profile, you'll see that I wouldn't be coming until I'm finished with school, which will be a while" (or something close to that).  He then started talking about getting to know each other for a LTR, dating, etc.  I then asked him if he realized I was married.  The reply?  NO lol  bye.  I was so pissed that he actually found this amusing, I just couldn't let it go like I normally would.  I sent him a message informing him that my profile at one point clearly states "my HUSBAND and I are looking for....."  His one word reply was "bye".
I get comments all the time about my pictures, but I'm starting to wonder if I should pull most of them.  Obviously there are a lot of male subs out there that only see the picture and never read the words.
Mistress Scarlet 

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What malesubs want to see more of in Domme profiles. - 8/22/2006 7:14:55 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

This is a good point. What say you Dommes about this?

Is it acceptable for a malesub to send you a brief message asking for clarification about something basic and critical (age, location, etc.) to validate whether he fits into your criteria box instead of him potentially wasting time and effort composing a full approach only to have it quickly discarded because he is outside your box?



Not a problem, as long as it's something that really needs clarification, as opposed to "Are you sure you wouldn't want an additional puppy?"

Somehow, the complaint that a poor submissive hates wasting his valuable time composing the perfect message to a Domme who might not even read it is rubbing me the wrong way tonight.



_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 20
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