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More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 3:40:31 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		My question is this if you were seeing a married Dom and you did not know he was married and you two got really close and you found out he was married , what would be more of a deal breaker?

The fact that he is married or the fact that he lied to you about it?  i know both are deal breakers but what would be the bigger deal breaker?

Matt's littleone
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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 3:50:53 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Um they are equal in their deal breaking-ness...smiles. I could not pick which was worse. I would say I would date someone separated even if they were not divorced, but they better not lie about it.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 3:51:40 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		That total package is a deal breaker for me.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 3:57:30 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

My question is this if you were seeing a married Dom and you did not know he was married and you two got really close and you found out he was married , what would be more of a deal breaker?

The fact that he is married or the fact that he lied to you about it?  i know both are deal breakers but what would be the bigger deal breaker?



The fact that He lacked principle and respect for the submissive he claimed and neglected to admit the truth would be the stickler for me. I would never conceive of becoming involved with someone that is presently partnered and I state that openly. Of course this would lead me to believe that I've been intentionally manipulated for selfish reasons. Which would be both a deal breaker and an obvious sign that my right to make an informed decision was not acknowledged or of consequence to this individual. Color him gone.

porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 4:01:30 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		The lie would be the larger of the deal breakers.  However I would not have even begun the relationship if I had known from the outset he was married,  unless it was a poly relationship with full knowledge of his significent other.

Without truth and honesty can you have trust?  Without trust can you submit?

Owned

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~~in His Chains i am free~~

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 4:13:43 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		Being married isn't a deal breaker.  Concealing that fact from me would be.

~stef

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Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 4:13:53 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think that being married and not telling me would be the deal breaker.  If I knew from the beginning, then I would make a choice on what was best for me at the time. 
 
I just want to the chance to make an informed decision from the start.
 
~Butterfly

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~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 4:23:23 PM   
GateKeeprsJewel


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/27/2005
Status: offline 		Isn't this kind of liking asking a deathrow inmate which he'd like more..death by lethal injection? Or death by electric chair? Both kill ya,it's over irregardless.

jewel,who is in a posting mood for some strange reason

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 4:27:37 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Lying about anything is a deal breaker to me. Everyone has different circumstances, but the lying would do it for me.

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 4:33:55 PM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		To me, it would be about Him lying to HER.  i don't believe all lies are created equal, but some share patterns.  While some people lie on their taxes, they may be fully responsible and honest in their relationships. 

But this case is one that says "I will lie to my mate to get what I want" ...proof that His needs are more important than the people He "cares for"...  which puts you in the akward position of wondering which of your ~ needs ~ (not wants!)  could go unmet if they conflicted with His.

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 5:02:24 PM   
SweetlyTwisted


Posts: 206
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I agree with most of these posts. A liar can never be trusted. A major secret like being marriage is damn cruel to be withheld from you. I am so sorry that you are going through this pain. Personally I would find him revolting that he played with my heart like that. A question you need to ask yourself is "If I forgive him and we become closer, how will I know he's not going to do the same to me as he has with his wife." Once a cheat and liar, always a cheat and liar. Don't play his game with him.

A thought I live by ... Pain without pleasure is meaningless.


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Sure, I'm twisted, but it's a good kind of twisted.

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 5:48:32 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		If I'd known ahead of time that he was married, we'd never have made it far enough for him to have to be lying about it, becuase we wouldn't have been involved with each other in the first place.  So, I guess the deal would officially "break" because I found out about the lie.....but both being married AND being sneaky and dishonest are equal-weight deal-breakers for me.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 5:55:17 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

My question is this if you were seeing a married Dom and you did not know he was married and you two got really close and you found out he was married , what would be more of a deal breaker?

The fact that he is married or the fact that he lied to you about it?  i know both are deal breakers but what would be the bigger deal breaker?

Matt's littleone

The lie.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 6:02:16 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		no sweetly this has nothing to personally to do with me.  I was reading the other post about married Doms and thought this would be  an interesting question to ask.  I do however thank you.  My relationship is well it will be 7 months on Sat and is stronger than ever.  We do not lie to each other that is in the contract we signed.

The lie would be a deal breaker for me also.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to SweetlyTwisted)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 6:04:06 PM   
ScarletOdyssey


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		it depends on if you are bothered by his being married
we all lie..if you say you don't you're a liar.
at the very least ,we lie to ourselves...
so stay on your toes ..no one can always trust others..it's not healthy..not safe..
if the people love each other why does this have to be such a big deal?

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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 6:04:41 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Both, because I will never ever willingly get involved with a married person, unless I had spoke to their spouce and determined she's willing to let him play,

And the lies because there is no room for lies deceptions or acts of omission in my relationships.
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

My question is this if you were seeing a married Dom and you did not know he was married and you two got really close and you found out he was married , what would be more of a deal breaker?

The fact that he is married or the fact that he lied to you about it?  i know both are deal breakers but what would be the bigger deal breaker?

Matt's littleone

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 6:10:31 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I see what you mean Scarlet it would depend on if the sub minded him being married but from what i have read on the board many of them do i guess it would depend on the sub and Dom involved .   just an interesting questioin not my situation  but maybe it is somone elses .

Matt's littleone

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 6:15:16 PM   
wysiwygitsme


Posts: 69
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		The fact that he lied about it.  Honesty is very important in any type of relationship.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 7:37:53 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		The world is a complicated place.  The black and white, right and wrong are blurred as I grow wiser.  At the same time, the important things stand out much more and continue to grow more clear.  If someone lies to me then they have soiled the relationship.  If the person also lied to another to obtain "gain" without consequence - then I have no respect and I choose not to participate in any relationship where respect is void.  Yes, I've had to deal with bosses who were lacking, but I'm referring to personal relationships.

I can't say enough how must I detest liars.  Cowards ...  I think all people have the RIGHT to make decisions based on the truth - when robbing someone of that, it's like robbing someone of reality.  No one has the right to do that to another person. 

(No, my Dom and I are just fine ... it's not Him I speak of.  ) 

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: More On married Doms - 8/22/2006 9:22:40 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hummm..well once this question has been answered could someone please tell me which came first?...The chicken?..or the egg?...IMO..its the same kind of question both to me would be equal in their deceitfulness...hence...ended...Tempting

(in reply to babysburnin)
Profile   Post #: 20
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