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RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 6:53:36 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

OH, my absolute favorite.
I had a Dom email me and tell me that I had to learn the meaning of the term cuckolding, becasue I said i was interested in it yet I turned down his offer to share my boy.

Im sure it couldnt possibly be that either my boy is not going to be shared ever... and it couldnt POSSIBLY be that I wasnt interested in him... I just need to be educated.

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SleeplessGypsy)

Post #: 21

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 6:55:34 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

After declining to follow orders sent in an unsolicited email, he wrote back and said that obviously I was such a fake I should put my profile in Good Housekeeping magazine!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 22

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 6:57:16 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

dear ,one standing still ;
your name for one thing IS the funniest thing a person ever CALLED THEMSELVES ,to get me to say: "OH YES!,and, i'll be rite over

!
but ,for lack of a better recent circumstance, to recite; i'd have ,to say the funniest thing was when i said i was a slave ;

she said she was a pro; and ,then IMMEDIATELY asked me to get her some groceries;
everyday,
and "im not interested"; everyday,AND SHE SAYS:FURTHERMORE;
"i'm ,especially,not interested ,in you" ;'SO-what'!? ;IS MY NATURAL RESPONSE;either way i'm, not in this for myself,that's for sure;
CONSTANT BARAGE OF CALLS AND INCESSANT insults now;and, get me this; and ,"your mental";(big class ,or education difference there I THINK....)etc .etc.,
SHE SEEMS TO BE HOSTILE, AND ,HATES MY GUTS; threatens me with cops ,and ;all i WANT TO DO IS GET HER OUT OF THIS ;ALIVE ;AND ;ALL I EVER do is buy her groceries etc.(,&,BY NOW:I THINK THE COAST GUARD SHOULD GET IT )

,BUT ,
, it goes on and on ;
the same way; everyday like that , for every whichway ;or thing;she wants and demands ;like o.k. ,maybe ,she's a pro, and, i am a slave ,but ,i feel sorry, for her ,and, she keeps saying: you know i am a pro and ,i can't help you,WITH YOUR PROBLEMS, but, i have my BASIC needs,FOR WATER ;FOOD;CLOTHES;MONEY;AND SHE SAYS SHE HATES ME ,AND, CALLS ME 41 TIMES A DAY, FOR STUFF;
HER PIMP THREATENED US BOTH ;AND,SHE ACTS LIKE;O.K. what are you gonna' do ,mr. slave; she sucks me RITE,up like a vacume,WHILE I'M COMPASSIONATE, FOR HER SITUATION ;KNOWING SHE'S ,NOT PLACED IN A DECENT SITUATION;AND, IS VERY UPSET DAILY ;BUT, 'the pimp of the year' IS advising her;he wants this and, that .... ,AND, I'M, ONLY DOING IT ,IN THE FIRST PLACE ,CAUSE I FELT SORRY FOR HER NOW CAUSE SHE SAID SHE WAS A "PRO." ,
AND,GEEZ:
THERES AN EVEN DARKER SIDE TO THE STORY, BUT ,PLEASE: NEVERMIND! I'M A SLAVE ;I ,JUST FEEL BAD FOR YOU ,NOW....,AND, I'LL KILL YOUR G.D.PIMP! .... ;
get the picture? ;
funny ?? ,
NOT ....

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

This message hit my inbox today
"It would appear that you have forsaken the physical poly or otherwise. I wanted you to appear in a biblical version of a movie about BDSM for which we already have financing, as Ruth or possibly Esther. However since a series of masochistic acts would be required I haved reevaluated the situation and now have my doubts and regrets about contacting you in the first place. ".
I think the lengths some people go to to convince you to do what they want instead of what you say you're doing are too funny.

What's the funniest one you've ever gotten?
Suzanne

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 8/23/2006 7:49:41 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 23

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 7:07:39 PM

genusnpimptress

Posts: 12
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline

Hahaha

I have gotten msgs from many Doms telling me that because i am a submissive that i am required to listen to any Dom that gives me a command. To which i reply that i only have one Master and you are not him. I even had one guy argue with me and stated that he MAKES all his girls listen to ANY Dom that gives them an order. All his girls? They must not stay too long!

Keaira

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 24

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 7:11:04 PM

WhiplashGirlChld

Posts: 78
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I even had one guy argue with me and stated that he MAKES all his girls listen to ANY Dom that gives them an order. All his girls? They must not stay too long!

You simply misunderstood. By "girls" he meant Rosy Palm and her 5 sisters, and even they talk back sometimes. LOL.

_____________________________

The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!" - Lear

(in reply to genusnpimptress)

Post #: 25

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 7:17:06 PM

genusnpimptress

Posts: 12
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline

LAMO! Painfully true, and all of this began because he had asked me to get on cam. I am not permitted to be on cam without permission from Sir! So the guy decided that i was a guy and that was why i would not get on cam for him...LOL

He even tried to test me on my "girl" knowledge, and asked me if i knew what a speculum was...LOL

Keaira

(in reply to WhiplashGirlChld)

Post #: 26

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 7:35:30 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I just dont know if the guy was bright enough to mean it to be insulting, or if he just wasnt thinking far enough ahead to know how tat would sound. Not that it really matters...

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Nikolette)

Post #: 27

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 7:38:58 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Where in the hell can a feller even get one of those Veetmanise spin fuck chairs anyway?

I mean there are dildoes all over the internet, sure.............

LOL,
Ron (I hope this isn't such a private joke that nobody gets it)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 28

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 7:49:33 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Not a email but an im, this guy says that maybe I should fuck my husband since I am bored and cranky, and Inform him I am not married, so then he says when was the last time you had sex, so I go along and I say fourth of july, and he says your bf should be fired if he only fucks you once a month, I tell him the lack of sex is my idea and what I want, he tell me I need to be cock trained so I tell him I don't need to do anything I don't want to and if he insists on trying to talk dirty to me I will block him.

Guess he didn't like my answer he never contacted me again.

quote:

Is this too funny or what??

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(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 29

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 7:49:49 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Hmm, could we create an award for that? Maybe a bronzed phallus for the biggest dick? Or the golden cheeks for the biggest asshole?
The Red Carpet at the Pervys!

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to foxglove716)

Post #: 30

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 7:59:18 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

A week ago I had a real strange one that commented on the fact no one was interested in my "blog"(Well I do not have one), and said I have a "daddie" conflict (perhaps he left off the "s"). He also told me to beware that female dominas (I thought the use of "females" in that sentence was unnecessary)were the meanest people in the lifestyle.. i was like... oookkkaaaayyy. He also recommended I call Dr Phil. I tried to email him back because I could not really understand what all these points had to do with one another, as sometimes they were not only in the same paragraph, they were also in the same sentence. He had blocked me... weird

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 31

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 9:15:20 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

I received an email from a "Dom" Hi how r u tonight.

generally I dont respond however I was in a weird mood, so I did, and he was off line within minutes.

2 Days later he emailed me back, I was out of the country email me at -and gave me an alternative email.

Needless to say I sent him an interesting email basically saying hit the road you fool and suggested he read profiles before looking for wanking material.

Surprise surprise no response back.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 32

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 9:22:25 PM

Slipstreme

Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline

*groans* Some of these people sound so stupid, you'd think they'd have all gotten Darwin awards by now.

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Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to Owned1)

Post #: 33

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 9:22:48 PM

MstrTiger

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline

I want to contribute though I am simply not receiving enough messages from insane people, where am I going wrong woe is me.

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Visit my website http://www.tigerdom.com

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Post #: 34

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 9:24:27 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

you can have some of mine, MstrTiger. I ahve more than enough to go around

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MstrTiger)

Post #: 35

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 9:40:49 PM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

Ha! I get strange emails all the time, and not very clever at that. I get the typical Hi, Get on Your Knees Slut, types but the all time doozies were:

1. Dom in Florida wanted me to cut off all my hair since he has red hair fetish and send it to him. He wanted to give me his FedEx number and then take a photo of my bald head so he can make a wig of my hair to send me back.

2. Dom wrote me and said, quote: "I would love to have furniture made from your creamy, pale skin and display it in my house." That freaked me out badly. Can we say Buffalo Bill anyone? (Silence of the Lambs for those not familiar).

And they say there are no good men out there!!

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 36

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 10:04:32 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Slipstream, and a lot of them who contact me don't have any visable profiles either.
CM should make it a rule to have a visable profile.
Got another one today asking about my "equipment."
No profile.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

Post #: 37

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 10:11:13 PM

Slipstreme

Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline

quote:

2. Dom wrote me and said, quote: "I would love to have furniture made from your creamy, pale skin and display it in my house." That freaked me out badly. Can we say Buffalo Bill anyone? (Silence of the Lambs for those not familiar).

There is a process out there called scarification which may include removal of skin for designs, tell him to go ask some of the artists to save him some scraps :P

Actually I've come across a couple people on the boards who don't have visible profiles, but it seems that can be due to some internal errors. Some people here, to look up their profile you have to go to the main site and search. Strange.

Out of curiosity though, for those with no profile, is it just that there is no information for them? Cause I dont know how you would be able to message someone without having an account, and working profile here. Surprised to see someone get asked about their "equipment". I had one guy email me with a picture of his and "I would like to serve you" as if it should matter to me that he is a guy and has a penis.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 38

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 10:16:48 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

A friend of mine got an email on another site, asking him for a picture of his "equipment" if she were to consider him as a slave. He is a Dom.
His response was "standard issue, all original manufacterers part. Doubt youd like it, backbone came standard my year"

Personally, and i am sure everyone else gets these too.. I find it funny when someone is trying to be VERY impressive, but cant take the time to type the other 2 letters in YOU and abbreviate with U, and other shorthand. If its that important, spell out a damn word. I find it hard to believe that you are that detail oriented if that little bit escapes you.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Slipstreme)

Post #: 39

RE: Is this too funny or what?? - 8/23/2006 10:17:04 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Yes, "equipment" did they mean my crank or my brandnew bondage hood?
And I don't know if it was a male or female either.
"DELETE"

(in reply to Slipstreme)

Post #: 40

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