MistressLorelei
Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: julietsierra quote:
ORIGINAL: KenDckey I thought Clinton said that we weren't able to raise our children that it took the community. It is our fault that children act the way they do so I guess they can't be held accountable. Lock up the parents. Send them to jail and keep them there, then Clinton can have his way and we can send the kids off to state programs. Hold the parents accountable for the actions of their kids. ROFL... News flash... in some high schools, making that threat is tantamount to getting a rousing round of laughter and not a few "Well, all right!!!" comments. Holding students accountable for their own actions - teaching them that there are consequences that THEY must deal with - and not blame their parents, the teachers, their poor poor lives or anyone else out there - is much more effective. Blaming parents reaffirms students that again, someone else is going to take the hit for them, and they can just keep on doing what they were doing. In my house, if my kiddo wants to go to school out of uniform, then he faces the consequences. I'm not going in to fight his battles for him. He much more effectively learns responsibility for his decisions if he learns that while he can stand up for what he believes, he still has to be willing to deal with the repurcussions on his own. LOTS of us go to work each day knowing we have the responsibiliity to wear the stated uniform of our place of employment. Whether that means a suit and tie, a chef's white coat and hat, a physicians lab coat, scrubs, the uniform shirt and pants required by mechanics in garages, or the smock at Target and McDonalds. We know that if we don't wear these things, there are consequences. Those consequences usually end up being that we're sent home or, if we do it often enough, fired for non-compliance. Putting consequences for something like this in the laps of parents is significantly counterproductive to helping students realize that they have certain personal responsibilities and that when they choose to not maintain those responsibilities, they stand to lose something. Besides, how many of you used to hide that shirt you mother told you that you could ABSOLUTELY not wear to school in and amongst your books till you got to school and changed? How many of you rolled up the waistband of your skirts so that the hem was just a wee bit shorter? How many hid their cigarettes, makeup and other stuff from their parents till they got to the kinda-sorta grown up world of school? Blaming the parents is clearly not the best answer to this out there. High school is a credit race. With No Child Left Behind, the stakes are higher than they've ever been. A student who can't pass high school in a specific amount of time is required to either take the GED or receive a certificate of completion (that's NOT a high school diploma by the way). Required credit amounts are higher than ever and there's no room for fudging a semester anymore and still have the assurances of passing. When a student's grades are affected by attendance, then there is finally a significant consequence in place. All that remains is to use it. juliet At the end of the day parents are the ones held accountable. Whether you like it or not, until the child is 18, a lot of the responsibility lies in the hands of the parents. If more parents would embrace it, perhaps kids would not be as far out of hand as they are. If you don't bother to feed your kid because he will eat when he is hungry... and he doesn't, it's the parent who is to blame. There is a reason kids aren't adults until they are 18... and that reason is because they are kids. Sure, kids want to sneak around, they want to rebel... it's the parent's responsibility to ensure that these desires are not met with dangerous, or harmful consequences. Kids learn a lot about life and themselves in knowing that there is someone (a parent) out there who will share in their responsibility as they grow up. Nurturing and security is needed for a kid to become self assured and confident themselves. Most kids who reach the level of destruction, betraying their parents in extreme ways, where parents can't be held accountable, only reach that level because their parents were never accountable to begin with. I agree that schools should have standards and guidelines, but schools are to educate children... they shouldn't be the primary source of discipline, a correctional institute, a daycare facility, the place to instill morals, values, and behavior modification. These jobs belong to the parent..... not the teachers. Teachers should help your kids absorb knowledge in the subjects they are trained to teach in... the rest is up to the parent.... or at least that's why we used to send kids to school. I have worked with many, many children, and time and time again, it has been demonstrated that you get back how much or how little you put into your kids. Let them run free... they are kids, you bet they will. Schools already do more than their share of child rearing already.... sometimes to the point where it overrides the teaching they should be doing. Many kids wouldn't choose to go to school... parents send them... end of story. Maybe there is something to that.
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