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released and lost - 8/27/2006 6:19:43 PM   
subgurl123


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline 		i just lost got released from my training Master he said it was no fault  of my own he just want to devote more time to his family. now i dont know to feel i am in ways still under his training because it is all i know and now i am here with no
direction and i feel so lost
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: released and lost - 8/27/2006 6:28:57 PM   
MASTERHAWG


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline 		Grab a bus ticket and head north, I'll be glad to help you finish your training?
What form is it? I've been successful at many.
MASTERHAWG

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: released and lost - 8/27/2006 6:51:52 PM   
gardenia100


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		Ok, I'm confused here, I need someone to explain this to me also.  He was a training Master, therefore he was only a temporary Master to begin with.  It was only going to be for a short period of time and then you would go your separate ways.  Therefore, he has decided it is time for you to separate.  Your feeling are hurt and feeling lost, that I understand but you went into it knowing it was only going to be a temporary situation.  Are you thinking it was cut off to soon?  Maybe you were expecting too much from him.  Lets be honest here a Master who only wants to train only wants short term, when the shine wears off, hit the road kind of stuff. In my opinion if you wanted something more dedicated, you were picking the wrong kind of Master to begin with.  That is just my opinion unless being new to this myself I have those thoughts wrong.  Please someone more knowledgeable explain this.

Barbara

< Message edited by gardenia100 -- 8/27/2006 6:56:28 PM >

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: released and lost - 8/27/2006 6:57:26 PM   
MASTERHAWG


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline 		I'm guessin' someone fell in love here......

(in reply to gardenia100)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: released and lost - 8/27/2006 6:57:45 PM   
SCORPIOXXX


Posts: 223
Joined: 11/6/2004
Status: offline 		As gardenia pointed out, it was always temporary to begin with -- so, presumably, you should have been ready for the end. On the other hand, if he is supposed to be a good Master, he shouldn't have let you go "cold turkey" and should have let you out slowly.

Was it a live-in D/s dynamic, or an online collar/training?

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: released and lost - 8/27/2006 6:57:56 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		When you deal with a Master who is simply a trainer and already has a family, you have to expect that you will be the lowest priority.  While it is understandable to feel lost since you were dismissed, rather than feeling sorry for yourself you should really start looking in earnest for someone who will be a longer term Master.  It is not unusual for the sub to be more attached than the Master was, so he is not going to feel the effects of losing you as much as you will him.  But, like any other relationship that is ended when only one party is READY for it to end, itll hurt for a while. Not forever. Since you cannot be with him, find someone you can be with, and maybe this time try and be a higher priority to them.

My 2 cents
DV 

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to gardenia100)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: released and lost - 8/27/2006 7:52:06 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I'm guessin' someone fell in love here......


I'm guessing someone was used here.  That's the word that comes to mind when I hear the word "trainer".


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MASTERHAWG)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: released and lost - 8/27/2006 8:01:37 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

I'm guessin' someone fell in love here......


I'm guessing someone was used here.  That's the word that comes to mind when I hear the word "trainer".



That was my thought, too. Great minds, and all that. And now there's a chance she could meet another user, if that was the case.

Bob

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: released and lost - 8/27/2006 8:12:59 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		Abrupt endings can be harsh.

In as much as he was a trainer, what did you learn?

(in reply to DesertRat)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: released and lost - 8/27/2006 8:39:57 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		So I browse the ops profile and it states she is unable to find a Master to train her.  Hmmm just makes ya wonder is this the way to advertise training Master needed, and oh poor me I have been dumped I am lost please rescue me?

If I am wrong accept my appologies, however I have been around the block once or twice

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: released and lost - 8/27/2006 9:03:14 PM   
MasterNdorei


Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		  There are a number of sites to read if you want to take the iniative on your own... if you would like me to suggest some feel free to contact me directly... or just cruise the boards on collarme. Cruise profiles, and ask questions. Most people are willing to answer an honest question, and if they aren't move on!
  If it is training you want, you may want to ask a female sub to take you under her wing as you learn. The dynamic would not interfere with your search for a Dominant, and you would be less likely to be heartbroken by the experience.

i wish you well~*
Master's dorei

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: released and lost - 8/28/2006 2:01:05 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings dear
 
i am so sorry this had happen! your hurt now you need to take care of you now do not for any reason go right into another master training thing no matter what Masterhawg says i see he jump right into " someone fell in love " no need to say this of course she fel for him. take your time. this is one reason i could not be someone slave i could not stand if they left me it is sad but you will make it dear and when you are ready find a master who is sigle and has time for you pick them wisely dear as with everythings be picky just because your a submissive does not mean you just must go with anyone who ask or demands
 
take care and you will be ok just relax
i am wishing you well
mons

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: released and lost - 8/28/2006 2:04:56 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Why on earth would one ever want to belong to a "trainer" in the first place?

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: released and lost - 8/28/2006 4:57:40 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERHAWG

Grab a bus ticket and head north, I'll be glad to help you finish your training?
What form is it? I've been successful at many.


Psssttttt....He rides too.

Seriously it does sound like you have been hurt but i question what type of family this man was speaking of. Perhaps he was married and just used you for play? If you decide you like a guy who is married the first question out of your mouth needs to be" does your wife know and approve?" followed by" when can i talk to her?".

Chances are if he does not let you speak to her he is cheating and you are setting yourself up for this type of heart break.

And if you are looking for a playmate or simply some one to learn from then keep your emotions in check. If you are looking for a collar be more careful about anybody who only offers you training.



_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to MASTERHAWG)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: released and lost - 8/28/2006 5:54:49 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		twice is right, hun.  You need to find all of these things out BEFORE you get involved.  I don't really understand training Masters anyway.  I mean, train you for what?  Doesn't the Master you choose train you?

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: released and lost - 8/28/2006 7:27:25 AM   
deltadawn


Posts: 224
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subgurl123

i just lost got released from my training Master he said it was no fault  of my own he just want to devote more time to his family. now i dont know to feel i am in ways still under his training because it is all i know and now i am here with no
direction and i feel so lost


subgurl123,

i will not sit here and try to figure out why you would want a 'training' Master, but i will invite you to write to me on the other side if you are really interested in learning about this lifestyle and where your place in it may lay. 

i live about 3 hours from you and know of events held not far from you that will give you a good introduction.  If you do not wish to attend a function, i will be happy to just be someone you can talk to.

It is not a training Master you need right now, it is information on where you should go from here.  IMO anyway.

dawn

_____________________________

Beneath his wings, I can fly.

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: released and lost - 8/28/2006 10:06:12 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		Man I think the crowd in here's a rough one! Sorry so few took your statement serious in here.

I agree if he'd said in advance this was temporary you have to accept that's part of your agreement with him. In that you did not fail him, he's just at the point he's feeling like he's taught you what he wanted you to learn. Look at this as a graduation of sorts. Remember the good things and your lessons learned. Focus on the posative things you accumulated in the relationship you had and be glad you have that to build on now.

I know how you feel. I too am newly released by my training Dom. The choice in my deal to walk away was my own, not his though. I ask for my release and moved out on my own 8/5/06. I understand he adrift feeling you're having. It's hard when you consider another's needs before yours so long you're no longer you. I too feel wierd even doing little things like making coffee, dressing, or chores as they are totally different things now.  As a submissive I lost my identity to my Dom as an individual too. What I'm doing since I begged release is re-evaluating who I am as a sub, what makes me happy as a person in general,  what I need, what I don't want, and who I am on my own two feet. I figure till I understand and like my life no one else really will either.
My advice is to sit back and figure out who you are & get your act straight before you go seeking another Dom. Figure out how to be independent and do things for you again. If you don't know what you need how will you be able to start a new relationship that you'll flourish in if you have not decided on what you want first?

I know it's a hard lonely place you stand in now. It sucks for sure. I also know to start another relationship out of the desire to have someone before I've got myself straight will just be inviting problems back into my life. Get whole, get healthy, then find your mate or play friends & not before. I think playing while soul searching blurrs the lines too much to do both things at once.
Suzanne

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: released and lost - 8/28/2006 11:18:52 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmm..... trainer... someone looking for a little fun on the side.... that's how I personally define it.

No if you need training... or want training... it should come from the one who is going to keep you...


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: released and lost - 8/28/2006 12:13:06 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I've never understood the entire "training" thing either.  Whom are you being trained for?  Your "training" will most likely have to be redone.  Each Dominant has specific likes/dislikes.  There is no universal "training" that will work for every Dominant you encounter.  It's another way for naive people to get taken advantage of.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: released and lost - 8/28/2006 12:30:46 PM   
justanotheclaire


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/15/2006
From: cambs, uk
Status: offline 		No matter who he claimed to be it is so easy to fall for your Master, how else canyou give everything you have? Now is the time to make friends and find a place without him I found best way to cope from being let go after two years was to go out meet more people and make friends. What doesnt kill us makes us stronger and think of everything you know you have and how much its worth. Next time will be better x

_____________________________

Bound by desire
Free through submission


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 20
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