Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

In the online world ...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> In the online world ... Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 7:13:51 PM   
BlueHnS


Posts: 166
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		When meeting someone for the first time does it give you pause if you see Master/Mistress, Sir/Ma'am, or sub/slave as part of their nic?

_____________________________

Questions are dangerous, for they have answers. ~ Kushiel's Dart
I think I'm going to get off. ~ The Poet
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 7:17:00 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		no

edited to add:
because if the presence of these words were enough to give me pause why would I have spoken with them long enough to plan a meeting.


< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 8/27/2006 7:19:32 PM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to BlueHnS)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 7:26:33 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Nope.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 7:29:12 PM   
OriginalWench


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline 		It really depends on how they use it, and how they've acted in communication with me.  If someone demands I respect and obey them based on their nic,  pssshht.  Riiight.  Not happening.  If someone shows me over time they desreve respect, that they will likely get.  Obedience?  Probably not.  I'm oinly obedient to my owner, and he is the only person I've ever been submissive to in any real way not induced by fear.

My attitude for life in general and how to treat others and be treated sort of fits here too.  "Courtesy is essential, respct is earned, and love is given."  Perhaps one could substitute submission for love in that sentence.


_____________________________

"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states."
"I'm too young to have Alzheimer's. I have Halfzheimers."

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 7:31:47 PM   
behindmirrors


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		I don't hesitate if it's part of their online nickname- what gives me pause is when I am expected to address someone with a chosen "title" who I am not under ownership to or even considering such a thing. But, I'm just here to make friends, and to me, as well as my Dom, friends are on equal terms with each other. If one were arranging a meeting with someone else with an intent of a relationship or play, not friendship, I would still say that using a title must be negotiated first. We do not use titles in our house, nor will we. It feels unnatural, and I will only call someone else by a title if my Dom has given me permission first.

behindmirrors.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 7:33:37 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		If I were to meet someone from in here in person they could call me by my first name; Tom.
I wouldn't expect them to address me as "Sir" upon the first meeting.

(in reply to BlueHnS)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 7:40:36 PM   
marked


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		yes
i think it's a hoot to see someone who's declared  themselves "Master this " or "Mistress that"
i have gained some respect for a few (very few) that do this but it makes me giggle when i get mail from one so "self titled"
i know it's a judgement call..

(in reply to BlueHnS)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 9:24:36 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueHnS

When meeting someone for the first time does it give you pause if you see Master/Mistress, Sir/Ma'am, or sub/slave as part of their nic?

Not particularly. I don't place alot of value on names themselves. I perfer to judge by the person.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to BlueHnS)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 9:55:19 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Not necessarily. I think some people do this just because they are (relatively) "new" to the bdsm world, and it's an attempt to appear to "fit in" better, or something. In this case, I really do wish that it was more apparent to some how transparent this ploy actually can be, as an attempt to convey respectability and experience they may or may not, in fact, possess.

In some cases, though, I imagine it might be a nic they've used for years, and really have not much bearing on their outlook or experience level.

On a spectrum, I view it anything from nuetral, to kind of silly and uncreative, to indication someone is an idiotic a_hole (based on the other communication I receive from them). And only talking in-depth with them in that in-person meeting will probably define which, for sure (and in my commentary, I am referring to my experince w/male Dominants only). 

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/27/2006 10:04:54 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 10:04:03 PM   
EmpressLeo


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline 		I swear I learn something amazingly new everytime I log in. I'm very green so this info is great! I had no idea about this. And here I am thinking I'm "cool". I'm humbled and glad to have been made to realize. I think, a good D/M is one who knows how to earn respect and then has the right to demand it. But that goes with all walks of life. It's better that they understand the sub side too, yes? Teach me! Teach me!

_____________________________

"I AM the Jesus Piece"

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 10:08:54 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		EmpressLeo: I hope I am not insutling any Mistresses. I am completely serious (and probably predjudiced) when I say that: This never bugs me when women do it, just men (seriously). I try not to jump to conclusions when men do it, but sometimes I can't help it (depends on the entirety of their communication, as a whole, though).

Probably because I've run across a "Master" or two who had, in fact, been in "the life-style" about 2 weeks, and yet tried to portay themselves to me as an "experienced Master". In more than one case, their profiles even said they had "years of life-style experience" And it turns out is was total BS. This left me wondering exactly when they figured anyone would find this out (if ever), and if so, what they planned to do about it. It completely destroyed my view of them as a person, and ended our communication. Ironically, I would not have cared as much if they hadn't lied about it.  

Since I usually e-mail male Dominants and Masters as far as e-mail communication (even though I am currently not seeking a relationship, I do e-mail some, as friends), it never bugs me when women nic their names with Mistress so-and-so. But - you might want to ask some male submissives (or females seeking Dommes) what they think. 

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/27/2006 10:19:28 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to EmpressLeo)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 10:12:03 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		Interestingly enough when Master and I go out to local functions and name tags are required he requests his to be Sir rather than Master.  He states he is my Master only and expects no one else to refer to him as Master.  Sir simply denotes a respectful attitude.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 10:41:08 PM   
EmpressLeo


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline 		I just didn't wanna seem like a jackass. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing since all this is so COMPLETELY outside of what I'm used to. Me and my vanilla life....I'm trying to get some excitment though.

_____________________________

"I AM the Jesus Piece"

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 10:52:13 PM   
EmpressLeo


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline 		By the way, SusanofO, why do you think it's only okay for women? Just curious.

_____________________________

"I AM the Jesus Piece"

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 11:01:46 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		My eyes do seem to roll when I see someone's name is MasterofAllRealms or worthless_worm.  If a schlocky nickname was offset by otherwise really good communication, I'd roll with it (but I know I'd probably bust their chops later if I though they were putting on airs).

I sign my letters as "Ma'am," but that's partly because I'm traceable by my first name and don't divulge it on a first missive.

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to EmpressLeo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 11:09:37 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		EmpressLeo: Because I am not looking to date any Mistresses, ever (I am straight) Also, they haven't used their "title" ever to lie to me about their experience level. I have had a Master (or two) try to attempt this, though. I think it's fine as long as the person isn't trying to portray themselves as more experienced than they are by doing it - and some aren't. You don't know until you ask them, or meet them.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/27/2006 11:15:05 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to EmpressLeo)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 11:24:09 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueHnS

When meeting someone for the first time does it give you pause if you see Master/Mistress, Sir/Ma'am, or sub/slave as part of their nic?


To me, its a bit of a turn off for someone to name themselves "Master so and so"  Or Lord so and so....and it kind of strikes me as the person having an over inflated sense of self importance.  However, I think not having the benefit of being inside their minds when they come up with these nic names, its not really fair for me to assume that its an ego trip on theirr part.  Sometimes maybe they are trying to come up with a nic that is in keeping with the site they're joining and using the word Master, Lord or Sir, as a way to let others know their orientation.  I still think its kind of silly, but I wouldnt rule someone out based on that alone, but it does give me reason to pause.  As far as meeting them for the first time and addressing them as Sir, it would depend on how I felt about the person.
After I know someone and have developed a particular feeling of respect for them, I will sometimes addess them as Sir, even though they arent my Sir, simply because I feel  respect for them and am more comfortable using the title Sir than calling them by name.   Or  If I know a particular dominant feels more comfortable or prefers to be called Sir, I may or may not oblige depending on the man, but I do however think it has so much more meaning when it is given freely and out of pure need to show respect.  As far as females....no matter what, I simply have a very very hard time regarding women as authority figures, so I wouldnt normally refer to them  as Ma'am.  This is not to say that I may not admire or  respect a particular domme, but I have a hard time addressing them as Ma'ams. 
At the end of the day, when you really get down to it, I have never believed that respect was in a title anyway.  Respect is either felt or it isnt, and it comes down to individual preference between the two people of how you're going to address one another.  If you are unsure and this is about a particualar person, why not ask them how they prefer to be addressed?  I have done that myself and it takes all the guess work out of it.  :)

(in reply to BlueHnS)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: In the online world ... - 8/27/2006 11:41:12 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Expressleo, I think the term "Sir" or "Master" should only be used by the sub at such time as she feels comfortable using it or, as a way of signaling that she would be receptive to the Dominant's attentions.
After all, at that point there is no relationship between her and the Dominant.
Now me, I'm Tom.

(in reply to EmpressLeo)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: In the online world ... - 8/28/2006 12:06:34 AM   
BlueHnS


Posts: 166
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		It was an in general question. Some nics are just dead giveaways that their creator is most likely without any redeeming qualities. For instance LordnMasterofallthewenches. (sorry, it's the first thing that popped into my head).
I see a nic like that and have a good laugh and move on. I know nothing about the person.
2 months later I get and email from LordnMasterofallthewenches and my first thought even before opening the email is .. surely you jest!
Then I open the email cause 99 times out of 100 it's gonna be just downright amusing. (yep, little things amuse me)
Every once in a very great while I'll stumble across # 100 and find out there is an intelligent articulate real person behind the nic and mayhap we'll even become friends.

_____________________________

Questions are dangerous, for they have answers. ~ Kushiel's Dart
I think I'm going to get off. ~ The Poet

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: In the online world ... - 8/28/2006 2:09:12 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		meh...its a nickname they had to choose to get an account...might be the 3rd or 6th (or 50th) one they thought up and tried...who cares

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to BlueHnS)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> In the online world ... Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078