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RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 8/30/2006 12:52:17 AM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		I personally LOVE being on top ... it's not the clitoral stimulus, but the G-spot stimulus that I can control.  AND ... besides purely self-indulgent reasons, I can tease and please Him.

I think all positions are fun ... and I certainly don't think my being on top means I am taking control ... on the contrary, it's serving.




< Message edited by babysburnin -- 8/30/2006 12:54:05 AM >

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(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 8/30/2006 2:37:20 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50
My partner loves for me to be on top sometimes, and I just dread it when he asks for that. Is there something I can do to help myself enjoy it more?


Erm sweetie. I think the answer is in what you wrote. Well, that and the fact you are submissive.

He loves it... your words.... you are bringing Him pleasure. Relax, focus on what you are giving him, enjoy Him taking pleasure in you! The rest might hopefully come naturaly if you can just relax.


_____________________________

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 8/30/2006 4:01:15 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i'm another submissive who doesn't get a lot of sexual enjoyment from being on top and right now my body image isn't so great BUT one thing i've learned is men like to look at naked women and if you're the only naked woman in the room He's gonna love looking at you.  Second, it's service.  Serve Him with joy.  Third, try being on top backward.... it eases some of the "hanging down, jiggly" body-image problem, it feels delightful for Him and gives Him a visual He may find very stimulating.  i've done this and peformed foot worship at the same time and the results were wonderful.

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(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 8/30/2006 8:10:40 AM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I tend to be the shy sort and riding on top was something that came a little later in our relationship.  When I first tried it, I felt silly, was sure I looked silly, and really had absolutely NO idea what to do.  I never just hopped up there and went for it, though.  Generally there was foreplay before hand, and often some other position for intercourse had already been used.
 
So, anyway...  For a long while I didn't really get much out of being on top.  As I grew more confident that pup thought I was beautiful from ANY angle, I worried less about my appearance.  That helped.  But for me, what turned the tide was one evening when I'd been drinking.  No, I wasn't drunk - but I do tend to get aggressively horny when I'm tipsy.  I ended up crawling on top of pup and teasing him by just rubbing myself against him.  Ended up basically using him as a masterbation toy for a while before accidentally pushing him into myself.  I learned that night to sort of crouch with my hands on either side of his stomach and rock.  Apparently that's a good way to get clit stimulation. 
 
Of course, pup has a habit of grabbing my hair, pulling me down onto his chest, and holding me there while he nips my neck and does a little thrusting of his own while I'm held still.  That's tons of fun, too.
 
So anyway... *ahem*  Don't give up hope.  Just try shifting your limbs and using different angles and motions.  You may find something that you like.  One thing to keep in mind is that you said HE loves it.  That's the best reason for doing it right there.
 
zuma

edited to correct a typo.

< Message edited by zumala -- 8/30/2006 8:12:41 AM >

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 8/30/2006 8:54:02 PM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		W/we started this back when i was pregnant, to avoid belly-smoosh and i found going back to missionary style really unappealing for me.

For one, i am fluffy.  like added weight on my belly area enhances my ability to breathe?  LMAO.   Facing feet with me straddling His left leg works best, i have a place for my right hand .. always the helper, you know.  grins.  i like best the fact that you can "kneel forward" and do leg play, raise a tail and get that inner suction thing going and elevating a bit gives Him something to "come after" which can be fun too! 

One caveat for girl on top.. this is the position most often cited as responsible for "orgasm migraine" because of the use of the large muscle groups, buttocks and thighs robbing brain. for all the jokes about dying having sex being the best way to go, ONE orgasm migraine will confirm ... you do NOT want to die fucking, it's a terrifying thought to have just as you come.  (it'll go away in 5 mins usually, but gawd.)

Anyway, the view for a leg n butt man is superb, even if you don't feel sexy at it, at least He can't see you blushing.  :)

(in reply to zumala)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 8/30/2006 9:05:57 PM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		I don't love being on top either, it does not work as well as other positions for me. However, doing reverse cowgirl is fun and the mirror idea that someone said does help; when you look up to see yourself totally abandoned, it is great.

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(in reply to Mavis)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 8/30/2006 9:18:41 PM   
behindmirrors


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		I'm personally a big fan of the girl-on-top position. It feels good, and I feel incredibly sexy doing it.

With that said...
It took a while for me to relax in that position. I didn't like feeling "dominant" by being on top, and even before our relationship evolved from vanilla to D/s, I felt that. I didn't want control. I also felt a bit self-conscious at first, but he seemed to enjoy it so much that I warmed up to it quickly in that aspect. It helps that his first words when I got up there were "My god, you're so beautiful." Makes a girl feel really good, haha. I was able to ease my discomfort on how I looked after that.

For getting stimulation in that position, I find that posture can make a big difference. For me, that involved something I learned from ballet- to try to lift your torso upwards from your hips. It takes some of the pressure off of your legs and makes it easier to maneuver- similar to how it would take pressure off your toes if you were en pointe. It might be something to try. I also found that leaning back while facing him, thus putting weight on my arms and taking some of it out of my legs not only feels good, gives you really neat G-spot stimulation, but it also provides a visual that is pretty flattering, really, since your torso is all stretched out and elongated. It is also a great position should one enjoy, as I do, being a total slut in bed, haha.

Now, I have no problems with this position "feeling dominant", because I am placed there if my Dom wants me to be there. It makes him happy, lets him enjoy the ride more than doing "all the work", and he enjoys the fact that my body is completely accessible to him in that position. I don't mind these things either, haha. It's just a matter of letting yourself go a bit, too- one of the greatest tips I've ever heard about sex was that it's not about having a perfect body or being the perfect person- it's about enthusiasm. If someone is enthusiastic about having sex with their partner of choice, they are undeniably sexy to that partner. If that fails, you could always go with the wise words of someone I respect very much- "Fake it 'till you make it." Meaning: don't fake an orgasm or something, but pretend you enjoy it. Try to fool yourself into thinking you do. Create enthusiasm where you can, and try to just let go and run with it.

Hope that helps, and good luck.
behindmirrors.

(in reply to Mavis)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 8/30/2006 10:11:29 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Sighs..I am sad to say that I too do not like the top position..I have thes short legs and to straddle a man tends to take up all that leg space..hence I have no leg left to maneauver or balance in any way shape or form..so then I am up there thinking "now what?"...grrrr...Then we get to the point where i lean to side to get some manuverability and shall we say I overguesstimate and things keep popping out...over and over again!..makes a girl blush and wishes she could just crawl under covers and not have to look him in the eye again.....Tempting

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 8/30/2006 10:20:19 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		From another point of view, as a Domme, *I* dont always like being the one on top. Its not always comfortable, and it might not always work well with bodytypes. Plus with having bad hips, it isnt always the most comfortable position to be in for long periods of time.
Just like some female subs are not comfortable being on top, male subs arent either, most of the time. However, i foudn that while my being on top was great, sometimes, it also got boring. the smae position ALL the time just gets old. So, I wil be teaching the boy the confidence to be in any position without having to worry about "topping"

My 2 cents.
DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
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VampiresLair

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 9/1/2006 3:28:57 AM   
youngslavegirl82


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/7/2006
From: Norway
Status: offline 		When Master wants her to, she loves being on top.  As another said, one is very visible when on top, and every expression on ones face is seen easily by Master.  When she is allowed to help stimulate herself, or Master does it, she enjoys it even more.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 9/1/2006 9:43:23 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingluvr54

Wow... This is kinda surprising for me? I was under the impression most women liked being on top? I've heard that a woman has more control of her clit stimulation by being on top? But I'm a male so WTF do I know? Anyways...carry on...will watch this thread with interest.....

This would be me. I too know I'm no where near Barbie perfect. I do know my body is beautiful and my imperfections just tend to remind me we all have things about our bodies we wish were different. At the point I'm intimate I could care less what's jiggling or if the lighting in the room is becoming or harsh. I try to focus on the union and sensations I'm experiencing more than letting insecurities steal my thunder.
I'm one who loves being on top as my clit rubbing on his pubic hair is quite a wonderful sensation when my weight adds to how hard I'm pressed against his pelvic bone. Even with guys I've been with in my past who were big king long dong guys on top was comfortable for me as I controlled how deeply the penetration was. Also for me to be able to steer the head of his cock directly to the place where it rubs my G spot just how I like it is another benefit of being on top for me.
I'd say if it's that you feel too exposed maybe facing towards his feet instead of toward his face would give you the emotional cushion to experience this position a little less self conscious.
Like anything in life practice makes perfect. If you practice it enough maybe your repulsion will abate on it's own.
Good Luck
Suzanne

(in reply to stockingluvr54)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 9/1/2006 9:53:08 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeMis

I LOVE being on top (cowgirl - either facing him or his feet), along w/ doggy and spooning too. 

LOL my very favorite position is both of us standing up and him penetrating me from the back. In this position I seem to have the most muscle control inside my vagina. I guess standing somehow uses my leg muscles strength added into the internal vaginal muscles somehow. All I know is I can squeeze way harder thus I get way more sensation like this.  Whew...... Is it getting hot in here or is it me???
Suzanne

(in reply to LeMis)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 9/1/2006 7:39:25 PM   
LeMis


Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeMis

I LOVE being on top (cowgirl - either facing him or his feet), along w/ doggy and spooning too. 

LOL my very favorite position is both of us standing up and him penetrating me from the back. In this position I seem to have the most muscle control inside my vagina. I guess standing somehow uses my leg muscles strength added into the internal vaginal muscles somehow. All I know is I can squeeze way harder thus I get way more sensation like this.  Whew...... Is it getting hot in here or is it me???
Suzanne


Standing?    I would need a ladder, since I am around 5'1" and most friends are taller, way taller...  hehehe 

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 9/2/2006 7:37:57 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I had this same difficulty when the relationship was much newer. He wanted it so he blindfolded me and tied my hands behind my back and then pulled me over him. With it like this, I obviously wasn't in control. Hell I could barely keep my balance without him holding onto me and moving me in the rhythm he wanted! By doing it this way, I was able to feel that he was still in control. Once that feeling of this being something that he wanted was established, I didn't still need the blindfold and rope although when he does do it, it's still fun.

(in reply to midnyt)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: This Is Embarrassing.. - 9/2/2006 10:26:40 AM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		LOL

I have read through all of the posts and I am quite amazed... the things we learn when we just "listen."

I personally love being on top.  Yes, it's tiring and all, but I love the control (but not in a dominant way) of being able to please Sir in the best way possible - changing positions slightly, moving my hips around, etc.  We do both vaginal and anal from the top.  He loves to see me wiggle and I love to see his reaction.

I personally think I look hideous when I am laying down, so I try to avoid any position that entails that.  I have never liked missionary unless it's modified and extremely kinky (which is usually painful, but fun for me) though I will admit that doggie style is my absolute favorite - the depth of penetration and the loss of control are very erotic to me.

So many misconceptions out there... very interesting reading, for sure.

< Message edited by afeathr -- 9/2/2006 10:29:14 AM >

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afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 55
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