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RE: no hands - 9/2/2006 3:43:21 PM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Homestead, I wasn't "criticising" you I was simply pointing out our differences.
If you want very "low maintainance" subs/slaves who require little interaction and infrequent sex there's certainly nothing "wrong" with that.
I'm just the polar opposite from you.
That's all I was saying.

popeye, I am a diverse and creative individual. I can be anything from a total sex-fiend to abstinent. It all depends on my moods and methodologies. I can also range from a teddy bear, to the coldest of reptiles in my mindsets. I have reasons for this.

I am ecletic, not limited. These sorts of arguments can be avoided, if you simply do not ASSUME someone is a certain way, from very narrow view we give of ourselves here. I'd have not have felt compelled to give you such a hard slap, if you had just let the whole sex issue go. I apologize for the harshness, but I didn't see any other way to get my point across to you.

Boy, you just can't be nice to some people.
Especially when they have an *ego* as big as a House!

popeye. Let's just drop it. Feel free to put me on ignore. But don't expect me to react positively to continual harping, the way you have done to me the past few weeks here. (like slamming my "dislike of sex' at every opportunity) I'm not going to put up with it.

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 121

RE: no hands - 9/2/2006 6:26:34 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Wow...I only left for a few hours!!!!

When this thread first got posted I thought it was a comical little scenario, the poop thing made me laugh, and I figured it would be short lived. Reading through has been really interesting...aside from the occasional locking of horns. It reminded me of a time when I was "forced" to play this out in real life.

No bondage mittens and no intentions of lessons learned....but I learned a bunch of them. I had carpal tunnel surgery done on my right hand. If you have ever had it done you know that your hand is essentially useless for a time. You can't grasp anything and even a coffee cup is way too heavy. Well, I had the surgery done and although I am not the most ambidextrous individual I thought "Ok, no big deal, I'll learn to compensate in no time". And I probably would have if I had the chance. But I had my carpal tunnel surgery in the middle of the winter on an icy day. Combine that with the after effects of anesthesia. On my way back into the house I took a spectacular fall on the ice...favoring the hand I had operated on of course I stuck it straight in the air and tried to catch myself with the other. I ended up coming down at an awkward angle and I seriously overextended the fingers on my left hand, tearing some of the ligaments and tendons. This graceless maneuver got me a cast on that hand too!!! So now here I was...HANDLESS and completely dependent upon my ex Master! I couldn't dress myself, brush my own teeth or hair, feed myself or bathe myself. I couldn't take care of the house or my Master. Luckily I had prepared meals ahead in preparation for the surgery or we may well have starved to death!!!

At first it was a catastrophe of magnificent proportion...but we learned to cope and ultimately our relationship grew as a result of it. We found that we both appreciated the efforts of the other much more.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 122

RE: no hands - 9/2/2006 8:33:03 PM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Wow...I only left for a few hours!!!!

When this thread first got posted I thought it was a comical little scenario, the poop thing made me laugh, and I figured it would be short lived. Reading through has been really interesting...aside from the occasional locking of horns. It reminded me of a time when I was "forced" to play this out in real life.

No bondage mittens and no intentions of lessons learned....but I learned a bunch of them. I had carpal tunnel surgery done on my right hand. If you have ever had it done you know that your hand is essentially useless for a time. You can't grasp anything and even a coffee cup is way too heavy. Well, I had the surgery done and although I am not the most ambidextrous individual I thought "Ok, no big deal, I'll learn to compensate in no time". And I probably would have if I had the chance. But I had my carpal tunnel surgery in the middle of the winter on an icy day. Combine that with the after effects of anesthesia. On my way back into the house I took a spectacular fall on the ice...favoring the hand I had operated on of course I stuck it straight in the air and tried to catch myself with the other. I ended up coming down at an awkward angle and I seriously overextended the fingers on my left hand, tearing some of the ligaments and tendons. This graceless maneuver got me a cast on that hand too!!! So now here I was...HANDLESS and completely dependent upon my ex Master! I couldn't dress myself, brush my own teeth or hair, feed myself or bathe myself. I couldn't take care of the house or my Master. Luckily I had prepared meals ahead in preparation for the surgery or we may well have starved to death!!!

At first it was a catastrophe of magnificent proportion...but we learned to cope and ultimately our relationship grew as a result of it. We found that we both appreciated the efforts of the other much more.

I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I broke a finger in a bike accident, and that was awkward enough. But you do appreciate a partner much more, when one has to care for the other.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 123

RE: no hands - 9/2/2006 8:38:01 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead
I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I broke a finger in a bike accident, and that was awkward enough. But you do appreciate a partner much more, when one has to care for the other.

Yes you do...I was overwhelmed by the care he took with me. He also admitted to me that sometimes he just took for granted all that I did to care for him and when that day came that I couldn't it made him realize just exactly how much I did do.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 124

RE: no hands - 9/2/2006 8:41:09 PM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead
I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I broke a finger in a bike accident, and that was awkward enough. But you do appreciate a partner much more, when one has to care for the other.

Yes you do...I was overwhelmed by the care he took with me. He also admitted to me that sometimes he just took for granted all that I did to care for him and when that day came that I couldn't it made him realize just exactly how much I did do.

Yes, I think that taking for granted kills far to many relationships. And that we would do well to take on a bigger share of responsibility on occasion-just to see what work is really involved.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 125

RE: no hands - 9/2/2006 8:45:12 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Hello A/all,

I was in a relationship once with somebody who (during our relationship) lost the use of both hands for 3 months.

She had a lot more trouble with her attendant helplessness than I had ensuring she was safe and happy and taken care of. The latter
really is how I see myself in WIITWD.

But that is just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 126

RE: no hands - 9/2/2006 9:04:18 PM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

I can well imagine how difficult it would be for the one being cared for. Kindness of the caretaker would be a key issue, to help overcome the distress.

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 127

RE: no hands - 9/2/2006 9:42:39 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Imagine you as a sub, are kept in locking bondage mittens for a day. Thickly padded totally losing the use of your fingers and thumb. The Top would be around- how do you think it would play out?

You cannot do anything by yourself, even open a closed door.

I haven't read any of the responses on this thread thus far. Based on your original statement I would immediately envision puppy play. Needless to say it would be a very fun day.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 128

RE: no hands - 9/2/2006 9:45:51 PM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Imagine you as a sub, are kept in locking bondage mittens for a day. Thickly padded totally losing the use of your fingers and thumb. The Top would be around- how do you think it would play out?

You cannot do anything by yourself, even open a closed door.

I haven't read any of the responses on this thread thus far. Based on your original statement I would immediately envision puppy play. Needless to say it would be a very fun day.

porcelaine

Laughs, ACK!

You really know how to get to a guy!

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 129

RE: no hands - 9/3/2006 9:34:13 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead
A dependency should not supercede a girl's need to see to herself. Simply bleeding into another indivual is no real way to increase both in potential. It's more a parasitism than a symbiosis.

That wasn't my point. You are assuming the worst again. I said nothing about bleeding into anyone. You mentioned dependency and I asked about her focus to provide him satisfaction. That has nothing to do with being a parasite.

A slave is a well adjusted team member to me. Someone comptently capable of following my lead and using her common sense to help with the overall program. I don't want a carbon copy of me. I don't want total agreement on every niggling detail, every opinion. That will not help ME to grow and broaden my horizons.

If a slave becomes overly dependent on me, what will happen if I am incapacitated in a crisis? Dependency must have a BOUNDARY. This is why I often disagree with what you write here. You do not seem to realize that those boundaries equate to a higher plane of service. Instead, you seem to seek to eliminate them. I do not find this to be particularly worthy.

YYMV

I just saw this and did not want to ignore your question. I believe we are using different definitions/concepts of dependency. Slavery is a mental state. If Master were physically incapacitated, that would not affect my commitment and devotion to him, nor would it affect my dependency on him. I am not talking about physical dependency when I say that. I can see now, that when you mentioned "dependency," you were speaking solely of the physical kind.

As for mental/emotional dependency, I can only say I have attained the level Master has desired for me - not too much, not too little, and it works wonderfully for him and therefore for me. Should the day comes when he leaves this earth (as is likely to happen before me, given our age difference), he has made provisions for that.

You make assumptions that do not exist. I seek to eliminate nothing. I follow my Master's leadership. Whether you find that worthy or not is inconsequential.

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 130

RE: no hands - 3/29/2007 5:11:59 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

So I point out to strumpet that if she was a twue submissive, she could peel a grape with her tongue.

She asks me where I learned that this was a sign of a reaw submissive, and I tell her a twue and reaw submissive would know from Submission 101.

Caught flat-footed by this blinding burst of Dominant logic, she proceeds to attempt to peel grapes with her
tongue. I got to enjoy watching the shower of grapes being spit into her lap, the bowl, the floor, etc.

She does get an A for effort.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 131

RE: no hands - 3/29/2007 7:26:09 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Emmmmm... hmmmm... i think if that were to happen, i would sit there for awhile dumbstruck. (thats if he's said nothing to me) After sitting there dumbstruck and thinking, i would ask him if there was anything he'd like me to do. And then, everything depends on that.

If he didnt answer...... i would amuse myself. i would contemplate the not having hands, i would try it out, i'd challenge myself with every day tasks, heck i'd even contemplate going for a walk.

What is it that he would want from me? There's not much i need. Does he want me to sit and stare into space? Does he want me to challenge myself? Does he want me to focus soley on him?

If things started to focus on me, i think i would eventually become frustrated. If i needed to do something and could not do it, i'd be frustrated. Eventually, it would become humiliating to me and my pride would be smacked. To not, be able to do for myself, would drive me insane. It would hit my pride. If it came down to having to swallow my pride and let him do things for me - i would most likely close my eyes, blind my pride and ignore it. i would effectively put a wall and block it out.

Unfortunetly for me, Master is really good at getting through my mental blocks. With anyone else, i'd be nothing other then a game of patience. Master would most likely, have me "feel" it and with out the control of my wall.. i would eventually throw a tanturm. Once that tantrum happens..... well i havent a clue how i would react the rest of the day. I do see the possiblity of begging, pleading and being reduced to nothing. I also see after the possiblity of being reduced to nothing, after a time, of bucking up and trying to regain my sense of self. Pull up more walls, to get my feet back under me, and in a sense bucking it all. If i fought hard for it and failed, i can see another tantrum coming on. Depending on the time, i could see that process repeating itself several times and in the end - once i was able to accept there was nothing i could do.. a bit of peace that would float over me.

::smiles:: and then again... i wouldn't allow myself to get to the headspace of losing my inner control and i would pull out every trick in my book to avoid it. So i would either make the best of it, or hunker down and weather out the storm. (hopefully being allowed to do just that, hopefully being allowed to steer myself)

All in all - it really just depends on the Dom in question. What is their goal, their point, their objective, what do they want?

< Message edited by Devilslilsister -- 3/29/2007 7:29:24 PM >

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 132

RE: no hands - 3/29/2007 9:13:58 PM

gypsyfirefly

Posts: 643
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

This thread is so very interesting, including all the twists, turns and different thoughts the original topic is generating.

Personally, to have to just "be", to not have anything to occupy my hands, and my mind, other than contemplation, would be both difficult, deeply interesting and probably, at some level, terrifying. But I am guessing, that would be part of the point of the exercise?

Honestly, unless it is a general/usual/actual part of your life on a daily basis, how often does one truly, truly, only think about ones secret inner self in a contemplative and meditative way for any length of time? Or maybe that is a stupid question considering the overall forum we are participating in?

Either way, I am certainly enjoying, and thinking about, all the responses, thank you!

gypsy

We are all wanderers on this earth. Our hearts full of wonder, our souls deep with dreams. ~ Gypsy Proverb

<edited for spelling {sigh}>

< Message edited by gypsyfirefly -- 3/29/2007 9:18:15 PM >

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 133

RE: no hands - 3/29/2007 11:30:31 PM

smilingjaguar

Posts: 271
Status: offline

My first thought is that sometimes it is easy for me to get caught up in what I do for him and what he does to me. It's easy to forget that a master has as much right to not use me as use me, and if binding me for his amusement or my reflection is what he wants it's my job to comply, not to complain of boredom and certainly not to pull the "oh poor me" if he doesn't pay attention to me for a few hours. Then again, I don't mind bondage and I don't mind being helpless in his presence.

I guarantee you that if my master decided to do something of the sort, I most certainly wouldn't be eating grapes off of the couch and using him as a slave to my whims. If he renders me unable to use a part of my body, it is for a reason, and he's certainly not going to take its function away and then replace it with his labor on anything but a basic, humane level. The point would be for me to feel the loss and process it...

(in reply to gypsyfirefly)

Post #: 134

RE: no hands - 3/30/2007 12:20:28 AM

rskenderian

Posts: 48
Joined: 3/6/2007
From: Coventry, CT, USA
Status: offline

Mittens?

just say "Don't touch anything with your hands."

oh, that's so good.

_____________________________

Free: exc. puppy to good home, caring Owner. Intelligent, trainable, affectionate, loyal. Loves: to please, love, toys/playtime, visitors, B/D, kittens, D/s etc. Wolfish; needs collar. Has tantrums, needs spankings. Tends to come from a place of passion.

(in reply to smilingjaguar)

Post #: 135

RE: no hands - 3/30/2007 5:27:56 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

Well, If for some odd reason this ever happened to me.
I would probally lay on my back, use my feet to open the
friggen doors. Make way for the kitchen, use my face and mouth
to open a drawer to fetch a suitable knife. I'd take and use
that in my mouth. Between my teeth and the knife I'd sooner
or later get out of those mittens.

That's how I think it would play for me at least!

Oh Hell, if I could get out of the house, go to the neighbors
let him take them off for me. Then I'd have beer and plot my
renvenge.

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 3/30/2007 5:37:55 AM >

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 136

RE: no hands - 3/30/2007 6:27:06 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

this scenario is reminding me a lot of a task i was asked to complete once. I had to prepare a piece of writing on what is was to be pleasing. i took a long time over it and my first thoughts were of things i could do ... sexual acts, domestic acts, submissive acts. I very quickly recognised my mistake however, i was *doing* pleasing, rather than *being* pleasing. Any monkey can perform a pleasing act, what He was looking for in my answer was an understanding of what it was to *be* a pleasing person in His life.

The scenario described would do in practice what that exercise did for me in theory. Wihout the use of my hands, and so of limited independent usefulness then pleasing by doing would be limited and i would be fored to become creative and agile in any tasks. What i suspect would be my task however is to continue to be pleasing though i was rendered almost inactive. If He has decided it is pleasing to Him for me to be rendered helpless, then i will *be* helpless. If He has seen fit to leave me without enterntainment then i will be unentertained.

The goal of service is to be pleasing, if His pleasure is to have his slave without the use of her hands, and to simply be .. to think to meditate and understand, then that is what you should be doing. If He ceases to be pleased by the scenario then it will stop, it is not my place or mission to implode in a world of insecurity and nerves simply because i am inactive.

Some of the best service i have ever given is from merely being a presence, not a player, in the lives of the Ones i have served.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 137

RE: no hands - 3/30/2007 6:47:47 AM

sweetstorm

Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

I was getting all agitated just reading the whole post thinking of what a burden I would feel like to Him and a nuisance and how bad I would feel about having to ask Him to care for me.

I'd probably be the one to hold my pee for the entire day hoping I could out-wait the exercise rather than ask for His aid.

I am a sub who thrives on being able to serve others. I often feel as though I get more from my relationship with my Dom than He does, and so I go out of my way constantly to try to compensate.

But after reading this post of a sub incapable of taking care of herself....

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Yes you do...I was overwhelmed by the care he took with me. He also admitted to me that sometimes he just took for granted all that I did to care for him and when that day came that I couldn't it made him realize just exactly how much I did do.

it slowly dawned on me that it's possible I could be worth more than my actions.

That's like.... so sweet I'm gonna cry....

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 138

RE: no hands - 3/30/2007 7:23:47 AM

ONEDEMANDINGMSTR

Posts: 47
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

It's amazing what your short little scenario has provoked. So many responses, and side issues with as many variances as the people responding. Aside from the
silly head-butting that occurred it's been a good thread. I, for one, just want to thank you for it.

It's always been My goal, as a Dom, to make it perfectly clear to a sub that her 'worth' is more than just what she does. She has intrinsic value, over and above
her physical actions/reactions. Her presence helps Me in validating myself as a dominant, Even though that shouldn't, theoretically, be necessary, we are all human,and need that validation from time to time. My desire is that her needs, as a sub, are met as well, especially from a mental standpoint.

Thanks again.

Dan

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 139

RE: no hands - 3/30/2007 8:14:43 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetstorm

I was getting all agitated just reading the whole post thinking of what a burden I would feel like to Him and a nuisance and how bad I would feel about having to ask Him to care for me.

I'd probably be the one to hold my pee for the entire day hoping I could out-wait the exercise rather than ask for His aid.

I am a sub who thrives on being able to serve others. I often feel as though I get more from my relationship with my Dom than He does, and so I go out of my way constantly to try to compensate.

But after reading this post of a sub incapable of taking care of herself....

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Yes you do...I was overwhelmed by the care he took with me. He also admitted to me that sometimes he just took for granted all that I did to care for him and when that day came that I couldn't it made him realize just exactly how much I did do.

it slowly dawned on me that it's possible I could be worth more than my actions.

That's like.... so sweet I'm gonna cry....

This post rather touched me. Some Doms (the ones that look out for, care for
and nurture their subs) need to know that they are needed and valued by the sub.
Perhaps this would make an excellent excerise in exploring this area. It does away
with the submissives powers to physical do much for her Dom. Interesting concept.
Perhaps the use of confining one to a wheel chair for the day. A lesson in
humility and humanity for other people.   An excerise for both Dom and sub alike,
to explore and gain greater appreciation for one another on a different level.

I was just thinking about what it would be, if I were with a submissive that became
laid up on crutches or something, and she went and made coffee and brought it to
me regardless of how difficult it was for her... Now I myself am ready to tear up
and cry here as well.....

Be it mits, wheelchairs or crutches..something that limits the submissives physical
ability. A different type of use of bondage, besides the kind used in scene play or
for punishment...

I know I posted a smart ass remark earlier in this thread. Because I'm a Dom,
and the thought of somebody doing this to me, well it would drive me crazy and
I would have to break free.

On the flip side of the coin, how would many submissives deal with it mentally,
if their Dom/me became disabled tempory or long term. Where the Dom/me
looses the ability to use their hands or walk, or other.

We all like to have nice mental pictures in our heads about what if, but to actually
live it is another thing.   What if your Dom pretended to be crippled for a day or
two, how well would this play out.

This thread has truely touched me and made me think.

(in reply to sweetstorm)

Post #: 140

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