RE: Is abuse a precurser for being a slave/sub?

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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Is abuse a precurser for being a slave/sub?

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[Poll]

Is abuse a precurser for being a slave/sub?

i am a sub/slave and was abused in the past.

33% (33)

i am a sub/slave that was NOT abused in the past

51% (51)

I am an Owner who's slave/sub was abused in the past

5% (5)

I am an Owner who's slave/sub was NOT abused in the past

10% (10)

Total Votes : 99

(last vote on : 7/4/2010 2:51:11 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: Is abuse a precurser for being a slave/sub? - 9/4/2006 10:58:13 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared

i have heard conjecture that slaves and subs often come into the lifestyle because they are "broken" by past abuse and seek it out because of the control and structure, as well as the parts of it that would have been labeled as abuse at one time in her/his life. Theories that i have heard say that they do this because it gives them some kind of control and choice over a situation where they had no choice in the past.

i will admit to the structure and control part. i don't know that the second part is true.

You inference seems to indicate that slaves and subs that are abused are condition by the experience to seek out the lifestyle. I wouldn't agree with this idea at all. You would have to first consider all those individauls that are abused.... and just how many of them as a whole enter into the lifestyle. I suspect you would find that the percentage of those abused that enter the lifestyle is not that different that those that have not been abused that have entered the lifestyle. In short.... the experience is not going to condition individuals to enter the lifesyle any more than a person that is not abused. However, I think those that have abusive pasts will likely have unique relationship issues to deal with that is different than those with a non-abusive past.

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RE: Is abuse a precurser for being a slave/sub? - 9/4/2006 11:11:04 AM

DomButNotForgotn

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Joined: 6/2/2004
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Aren't we ALL abused one way or the other in our lives? From school bullies to more severe and psychological damage (incest, war, etc.)? I think how you handle such abuse/trauma is more important than whether you have experienced it, or what exactly you have experienced.

I have read some rather shocking posts about sexual abuse subs have gone through, that they're "over it" and choose their kinky orientation of their own free will, but I can't help but wonder if they would be into kink without such abuse.

I also know subs and switches that never experienced any physical or sexual abuse that were fascinated by BDSM and didn't act on it until they were adults. I have also tried bondage and spanking with "vanilla" women and found they were really into it, but maybe I just choose open minded woman in general. Interesting OP, though...

(master) Mark
Medford, MA

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RE: Is abuse a precurser for being a slave/sub? - 9/5/2006 11:40:26 AM

MasterFireMaam

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Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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For this premise, all it takes is one example contrary to prove it false, so, I will provide it: I was abused and I am a Master. So, being abused isn't a precurser to being a sub/slave.

Plus, look at all the people who were abused, perhaps terribly, who aren't even kinky.

Master Fire

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RE: Is abuse a precurser for being a slave/sub? - 9/5/2006 5:57:09 PM

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Joined: 11/11/2004
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I heard about this theory before, but personally I never abused and never thought my feeling about submissiveness is related to these things. I found my feeling about BDSM when I was 8 or 10 years old although I born and grown in a very kindly middle class family. I think I am a SWITCH because I enjoy being Master of a submissive female or a slave of a mistress. In both cases I thing my feeling is more erotic than psychological.

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RE: Is abuse a precurser for being a slave/sub? - 9/5/2006 6:51:12 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
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In response to the question posted, I think if most of us looked back to our childhood in todays standards we were abused. Shoot it was ok to spank does that mean that is why I like to be spanked now?

Then there is that dysfuntional term, is there a family around that does not fit that category?

I think this thought is prevelent in BDSM because those involved are more open and free to speak openly and honestly about their lives and experiences. There is more tolerance in BDSM type people than in the nilla world where if you make a joke pertaining to sex you just get silence and dirty eyes.

For myself I was not abused, however I do remember having fantasies BDSM related long before I even knew what they were, shoot I even played with barbie and ken "rough" I was always acting something out with them then along came GI Joe oh my barbies life got hot!

Oops I rambled, thats my 2 cents for now (plus a few more pennies for good measure)

Owned

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RE: Is abuse a precurser for being a slave/sub? - 8/28/2008 7:12:14 AM

TwilightShadows

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Joined: 1/4/2008
From: twilight
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Abuse is not a precursor. Any woman who has been abused wouldn't seek to repeat the behavior. There is a HUGE difference between wanting to be Dominated physically and sexually and running for your very life from a crazed pyscho bastard. A good flogging is wonderful, a broken tail bone hurts like a mother. And then there's this whole thing about consent.....
Just my unbiased (yeah, right) two cents.

< Message edited by TwilightShadows -- 8/28/2008 7:13:48 AM >

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RE: Is abuse a precurser for being a slave/sub? - 8/28/2008 7:22:00 AM

wallbanger